You cannot fight with a pig; you will get dirty, and onlookers will love it.

Yes, onlookers. There are omnipresent.

Once, I was confident of leading a team and wanted to take up a coveted position. I was very confident in performing well and steering the project to excellence. I shared this with a peer who encouraged me to take the position and spoke with my manager about me. I was happy when I started the position. The project scaled well for the first 12 months, and the client was delighted. The client recommended I lead another project in parallel. I beamed with pride when I took not one but 2 additional ones for the same client and was leading 3 teams at a time. I was now sure I would receive the Employee of the Year award.

I enjoyed the support, speed, and status of the projects. All was good till one day, Bala resigned. Then, another. And a few more followed. 17 people resigned in 5 weeks from my team. People leaving for better opportunities is normal. But, so many in so little time. I was perplexed. Each day, I tossed and turned in my bed at night, thinking how come? Why me? How can I? What did I do?

When 3 resigned on a single day, my gut churned, and it was apparent. It was an easy guess that something was amiss, something was unusual, something was being schemed. But, who? How? Why?

I sat and thought deeply and shared my fears with my management. They said you are just speculating.

‘There is something wrong with you. Behave Nagesh, Behave. Behave well with your team. Treat them well. Gather their support.’

How will I manage the chaos and uncertainty? I feared another letter would be pushed under my nose each day to accept.

Continuing the project with 20% less demotivated resources and a not-so-empathetic client was burdensome. All I could do was continue talking to the rest of the team to motivate them to work well and for extended hours. Out of need of the situation, I also took up a few more critical responsibilities in the project and increased my work hours.

Another additional responsibility was talking to the recruitment team to source people for the project. Convincing the client and my management that the reasons for the departure were beyond the project’s boundaries was arduous. No one was buying the reality, but I was steadfast in treating my team well. Everyone in the team knew that the success of our program with the client would boost their marketability and status. Yet, they were moving away from the project, the team, and me.

The project started to slip on time. The budget was escalating. The project vendors were not comfortable working with other team members. They stopped visiting the project as often as required and had no backup plans. The client was uncomfortable, agitated, and abusive as the deadlines showed slips.

My short sleep started having effects on my health. I took frequent leaves to recover, and the business started noticing my absence. In a couple of weeks, I started getting job offers over calls as speculation was rife that I was also planning to quit. It was a test of my affiliation, grit, and determination.

I created a plan to rejig the team responsibilities, operation plans, and rewards & recognition at the project level. Equipped with this new plan, confidence, and vigor, I called for a brainstorming session and successfully looked at the project with a new pair of lenses.

Beyond all the rejig with my 100% efforts, handshakes, and exchanges of good luck smiles, I also prayed silently to the divine for success. Prayer has power. Miracles happen overnight. I have witnessed a few in the past. I prayed and waited for one such to happen soon. Otherwise, I would break physically, psychologically, and emotionally.

One day, when I reached the office and sank into my chair, Bala walked up. After exchanging a few pleasantries apologetically, he mentioned that he wanted to withdraw his resignation. My eyebrows went up. Bala was someone whose exit surprised me the most. It had all started with him. Without seeking any explanation, I smiled, allotted his role back, shook hands, and walked out to brew my coffee. As I thought of the miracle, I sipped my coffee and smiled. As I continued with my second coffee, I knew the days would be better now.

As I had anticipated, 10 people withdrew their resignation in 12 days. I was now sure of putting the project back on track. Before sleeping each night, I felt how one’s gut feeling was someone else’s speculation.

As the drama unfolded, the real cause for the departures was a shocker. It was an insider’s job to create panic in my team. Someone wanted me to fight the pigs and dirty myself. I chose to stay calm, focused on the task, and feel my project.

Imagine if I had lost my focus, fought against the causes, and ruffled feathers. I would not have had my team return to the project. Instead, I would have walked into the fire lit by someone else. Wrongly, I might have fought a battle for someone else, at someone else’s ground and strategy. It would have dented my image, reputation, and association more.

Some onlookers want conflicts, chaos, and confusion for their fulfillment and fetish. They create and thrive on troubles. They fuel a few to have fun, for personal gains, or to test the capacity of their peers. They would show you in a bad light in a few situations. Trouble, crisis, and dilemma are breakfast for a few gossips.

When I knew about the insider, a ton of bricks hit me hard.

Should you get into such battles, especially when someone invisible is pushing you with malicious intentions?

Avoiding was is the best option. But by the time you realize the pig fight, you are more often in it. Recognizing it soon is a good situation. And Quit the pig fight.

Recognize the purpose of your being part of a team, project, and/or endeavor. Focus on the sole purpose if you are into something not aligned with the purpose, like a pig fight; Quit.

Quitting a track to stay on the right one is not a failure. It is another way to be successful.

Sometimes, you must quit for your pride, to keep your self-esteem intact, and weigh your self-worth.

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is a Transition Coach, Author, Educator, and Speaker. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. He writes to share his personal experiences in his career and his coachee’s transformation journeys. He speaks in various forum on self-Awareness, self-Control, self-Discipline, and self-Restraint.

Don’t dirty yourself was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

When the mind is in conflict, the stage of your life gives you a clue to make peace.

For the fifth time, I sat in seat no. 5 on the bus taking me to Hyderabad in India. Seat no. 5 was an aisle seat opposite the windscreen, next to the steps to board and alight the bus.

Imagine, in 1985, and you are sitting on this seat for a night journey of 12 hours. The bus stops three times at night. People wake you up as many times. The light from the vehicles from opposite directions glances at your face and vanishes in the darkness. The song from BOLLYWOOD at the lowest volume will also not allow you to sleep. How will your next day be?

My Architect Boss booked this ticket to Hyderabad, who always occupied seat no. 6 and snored throughout the journey.

That was my first job, and I had to bear all the troubles to make two ends meet. However, it was an Accommodating situation once a month in the 80s.

I lose, and someone else wins.

As I reminded myself —

“The distance between you and your dream is called ‘Sacrifice.”

I let him win as I cared for the relationship for my future.

Competition grew in my profession in the 90s.

I was very competitive, aggressive, and arrogant.

I raised my hand for every opportunity for growth, performance, and excellence.

I wanted to reach my goals faster. I wanted to achieve more in a short time.

I never gave myself a chance for negotiation as I was always competing.

As I rose fast, I won most of my races in the 90s. There were deep struggles in those competitions.

Today, I tell myself —

“If you take out my struggle, you will not know my growth.”

It was the winter of January 2002. I was at a hotel having my favorite Masala Dosa, a South Indian delicacy. I saw a person at the adjacent table ordering a cup of coffee after breakfast. I got busier with my second Dosa. Suddenly there was an argument that was happening at the table beside me. That person was having trouble with an expensive bill, and he was in trouble.

I recognized saw that person as someone who had lost race with me. I spent the next 4 hours talking to him. I was ashamed of myself when I left for my office that day.

With that shame, I thought —

“You might be on the right track, but you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers

So, the 2000s were full of retrospection of 17–20 years that had past. It was time for correction.

I negotiated with myself. I had to compromise many situations, habits, and behaviors to correct myself.

My arrogance, My winning attitude, and My selfishness lost.

I let go of the extra baggage I was carrying. That was the best thing that happened to me.

I always dreamt of -ests — best, biggest, largest, tallest, and longest projects in my formative years.

Beyond 2008 for 10 years, I realized my dreams. Those 10 years are the best years of my professional life. But was it because of my corrections? Yes, and No.

I learned that collaboration has more power.

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.” — Albert Pine

Accommodating is Sacrifice, Competition is a Struggle, Compromise gives a chance for Self-reflection, and Collaboration provides Satisfaction.

Negotiation outcomes are like 4 seasons. SACRIFICE, STRUGGLE, SELF-REFLECTION AND SATISFACTION.

Charlie Chaplin said, “We think too much and feel very little.”

So, —

For some, negotiation is a fashion,

a colleague, a neighbor, a vendor, everyone has a function,

next time you negotiate, have a strong reason,

with the outcome in your mind, choose your season.

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is a speaker, trainer, and transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. In addition, he writes to share experiences he has gathered in his personal and professional journeys.

Peace — A Life Story was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Have you ever been stuck and prayed for a savior or a divine intervention?

How were you successful?

I was early to work and reached the campus for my breakfast. The weather was inviting, cool breeze, the sun was rising, a few birds were chirping, and a few sports enthusiasts played basketball across the fence.

I was uncomfortable for the past couple of days. So, I decided to be early to work and spend some time alone. As I waited for my coffee at Café Coffee Day, I had to finalize on few options.

The struggle

On one project, nothing was going right.

Two months into the project, the rubber had not hit the ground. The clients provided continuous design changes as the work had not commenced. Decisions were pending. Each day on calls client was pushing us to change gears. Unfortunately, the project manager deputed was not-so-competent. The situation was vicious. Which one would I tackle first?

When the project was approved, I was ecstatic. I imagined a vibrant workplace with lots of colors, aromas, and happy faces of people at their desks. I also imagined accolades cropping into my inbox for completing the project. But, just fantasies are not ingredients for success.

My Hero.

As I finished my breakfast, the café was getting busier as more people came in. I was still waiting for my coffee. One waitress was serving so many people. There were others also waiting for their orders. Strangely no one was complaining, and there was no agitation.

The waitress was calm and composed and had a smile always on her face. Like Airhostess, workers in the hospitality industry are trained to attend to situations with the right demeanor.

I wondered why project professionals are devoid of such training? Why do we have to learn on the fly?

Problem-solving requires prioritization, deftness, and tact (PDT).

Prioritization:

I gathered that the waitress attended to those who walked in with a menu, a quick-serve of items from the shelf, or stated, “I will get back to you.”

It is easier to prioritize a problem if we visualize its components.

Categorization of problem components into Urgency and Importance was helpful. Prioritization by asking What, How, and Why helps.

Deftness:

The waitress was attending, responding to, and serving customers at all the occupied tables. She was always on the move, which gave clarity to the customer that their order was in progress.

Skills separate good from others. The capacity to do something well — skill — is acquired over time with practice. How many of us use the skill quickly and neatly at the time of crisis?

Do you use your skills to keep your stakeholders updated and informed and ask for more clarity/decisions? Or do you wait for an event to unfold?

Being deft is being sensitive to time and timing.

Tact:

The waitress was proactive in maintaining communication with pending orders.

She walked up to the tables and mentioned, “Your order is under preparation. It would take a few more minutes. I will get it for you as soon as it is ready”. Her courtesy, smile, and tone had great honesty.

Communication at the time of crisis is a combination of choices of words, proper body language, and creating the right environment. Being tactful encompasses compassion, honesty, and courtesy.

The Bridge

Waiting for coffee reminded me of my abilities and skills. I was thankful that I was at the right place for my realization. So I got back to work with this revelation–prioritization, deftness, and tact (PDT) together can do wonders.

With great clarity, sipping my coffee, I spent another 30mins to plan my immediate, meaningful, and next actions.

Six months from that breakfast halt at the coffee shop, the team got their acts together and handed over the project. We also collected the project bonus from the client as we finished the project a month ahead.

At the inauguration, it was a sensational, wonderful, fantastic, and excellent (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious) moment.

Aloneness has its advantages.

Thinking alone with a purpose gets you the solution. If you aren’t near the solution, you are in the wrong company (your inner self).

However, to implement the solution and be creative, you need the company of the right people in your team.

Together you create Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious moments.

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is a speaker, trainer, and transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. In addition, he writes to share experiences he has gathered in his personal and professional journeys.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Have you ever gotten bored as an audience of a presentation?

What made the speaker lose you as an audience?

It was 2008 when we conducted our maiden seminar as a part of our knowledge-sharing initiative.

One of the speakers started his presentation and the audience had complete focus on him. Then, as he moved on the stage, most of the audience also turned their heads in that direction.

Standing after the last row of seats in the hall, I was in awe at his presentation skills, especially how he was using the stage. It was enthralling.

A few minutes later, Salim, my co-host, opened his mobile, looked up into social media, and got busier.

“Salim, don’t disrespect the speaker. Listen to him.” I said as I elbowed him.

“I don’t like his language. It is so bookish. He is good to be a professor in some college.”

As I heard Salim, I moved my focus from being a host to an audience. I started focusing on the presenter’s spoken words. I was all this while hinged on the method of presentation and the content was out of my purpose.

Unfortunately, many others also got distracted and were inattentive. Just like me, few were moving their head involuntarily.

I felt ashamed that I got this speaker for the seminar as he was the most popular and charismatic. So many in my industry knew him for his work, experience, and knowledge. Moreover, as a subject matter expert, he was well suited to talk about the seminar’s theme.

40mins later, at the tea break, I chatted with a few attendees about the feedback on the speaker. Unfortunately, I realized that many were not attentive. What was amiss.

Post Seminar, while compiling the written feedback and score, the audience had scored this presenter below average. The presenter used the stage well and had great gestures and a wondrous voice. Yet, he failed to connect with the audience.

“Content is the King.”

Post seminar lessons learned session yielded the following opinions on this particular speaker –

1. The presenter had long sentences and written words that are good for the eyes.

2. Presentation for the audience should have words for the ears. Therefore, the sentences need to be short and rhythmic to complement voice variety.

3. Narration attracts the audience. Narration through stories is more powerful.

4. Stories can be relatable and memorable and can drive your message well.

5. Stories have characters. Giving voice to those characters in narration make a better connection with the audience.

For the last a decade, every team member has delivered their presentation effectively. Salim has become very proficient in his speaking skills. As a result, he gets all the attention when he speaks in a meeting, among friends, in a client presentation, or in status reviews.

We are all work in progress. When we observe, gather, and act towards progress is when we soar.

Each one of us is a ‘work in progress.’ Some are fast in their action, and some keep baby steps. Yet, all of us draw our actions mostly from an external source. So why not observe others, and gather feedback leading to action items for our progress.

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is a speaker, trainer, and transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. In addition, he writes to share experiences he has gathered in his personal and professional journeys.

Work in Progress. was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Sunil was calling me for a couple of days, and I could not pick his call. Finally, we connected one morning and had deep conversations related to something that was bothering him.

He mentioned that he had recently given a presentation to a client and was not happy about it. “I didn’t live up to my expectations in that performance” were his exact words.

Sunil’s words delighted me. His thoughts pleased me. I have not had many conversations with people who think the way Sunil thought.

Most coachee mention that they did their best over months, and the appraisal discussions too went well, and they are expecting the best outcomes. Likewise, your team member might come forward after a presentation and says that he has done his best and is sure to get the best results. Such statements are ubiquitous, and when the results are not favorable, blame it on the decision-maker. Very common.

The critical link here was self-awareness.

Sunil seemed to be a person who looks at his mirror after each performance. He was a genuinely self-aware person. Perhaps he believed that mirrors tell the truth. They do.

Sunil looked, read, and accepted his reflection. Then, he gathered thoughts to seek affirmation towards the next steps. How often do we find self-aware people?

A reality check is super important — what better way than self-access first, which helps you run on rails smoothly. Another advantage of self-check is to keep your confidence level to its optimum.

I was interested in more conversations with Sunil for better understanding. I was in awe at his discontentment. Sunil’s urge to introspect was coming from his discontent. If he were content, he would have had maybe shown ego in his character, aggression on his face, and arrogance in his talk. Instead, I found him very humble, empathetic, and optimistic personality.

Sunil had a remarkable ability to estimate his self-awareness. He would be a manager in a few years now. Maybe that was the reason that he was able to access his position. People grow in organizational ranks and attain success. I believe and have experienced that success reduces this ability to introspect. Or I should say that success reduces the chances that one looks inwards to gather more awareness.

Most managers have the habit of overestimating their performance over those who are in lower ranks. But, on the other hand, almost all in lower positions have inquisitiveness and zeal to gather more skills, knowledge, and with the right intention to change their attitude.

Would-be managers train themselves to hear good about themselves. When they attain the desired position above, they will start liking only those who commend and compliment them. Listening about their inabilities, inefficiencies, and incorrect judgments is not acceptable to them. As praises come from external sources, they have no inclination to devote time for introspection, thereby often overestimating themselves.

It is fantastic to find those who are in pursuit of self-awareness.

Those aware of themselves and know to read reflections are bold since they may not like what they see. Sunil was one such person.

My further conversation with Sunil revealed that he was a very introspective kind. He wasn’t thinking about himself but sincerely trying to know himself. So, the former is easy and excellent, but the latter is more challenging and provides better directions.

Here I have a four point suggestion for working upon self-awareness.

Firstly, feedback is essential. Develop a strict regime to know about yourself. In this plan, it is important to hear about yourself about not-so-good things from others. It sounds complicated, yet not impossible. Focusing on what you hear rather than from whom will make matters simpler. Also, focusing on the person will allow you to form opinions about others, which is not the purpose of this regimen.

The second one is introspection. Plan a schedule for ‘aloneness.’ This space is to look inward to validate those not-so-good matters you have heard about yourself and ask yourself ‘What’ can be done about it. Caution, don’t use the ‘Why’ words, else you will start misjudging.

For example, if someone told you that you get angry about minor irritants, don’t ask yourself ‘WHY’ you get mad. Instead, ask WHAT you can do to be still and calm when a similar situation arises next time.

As the third step, plan various actions to restrain the rage. Some of them could be –

a. Look out for warning signals,

b. Hold your responses,

c. stop talking & practice deep listening,

d. break away from the conversation for some time,

e. Have some quiet time. Indulge in nature by sitting on the balcony, attending to plants, playing with your pets, listening to humor/jokes, and others

f. Listen to your favorite music/tune

Next, practice all planned actions. These self-improvement actions, when done repeatedly conducted with consciousness, will work wonders.

The last step is the outcome of my discussions with Sunil. He had emphasized, “you can lift through the power of awareness.” Sunil has developed a habit of speaking to himself about progress. His inner talk is mostly repetition that there is still a sizeable empty room for improvement. Response to his ‘what’ question fills the room, but every feedback expands it.

So repeat to yourself, “it is never enough as the sky is the limit for improvement.”

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is a speaker, trainer, and transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. In addition, he writes to share experiences he has gathered in his personal and professional journeys.

Its not Enough was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

We always have exhibited various leadership styles in our professional journey, and there could be one that is dominant and visible.

Take a moment to think about a leader you admire. They could be your teacher, a celebrity, an elected official, a colleague, someone in your neighborhood, within your family, or in your community.

Now, close your eyes and ask yourself, “why do you admire them?”. “What in them inspires you.”

I am sure you would think of a visionary or a motivator, or an efficient goal setter, a good decision-maker, accountable, or an effective networker.

Leaders are those who have mastered and exhibited few specific leadership qualities.

As the world moved ahead, and research on HR developed, various styles of leadership have emerged. However, authoritative, coaching, affiliative, democratic, pace setting, commanding are few known and familiar leadership markers that have often yielded results.

I want to share few major leadership styles that I could work with.

My first leadership lesson was from someone whom I idolized. My role model was my grandfather.

He was strict, very clear in his thoughts, and creative. For my daughter and many younger cousins, I was not their favorite, as I was very stern. Now, after growing up in casual conversations, they have mentioned how I had set expectations, lifted the fog for them while I explained why I am thinking what I am thinking. This authoritative style has helped achieve common goals many times.

Circa 1993, my project manager left the organization without serving the notice period. So, as the next officer in the project rank, I stepped up and took charge.

A new project manager was appointed later. I handed over the charge. After few months, he too left, and I had to step up.

Another one came, and I did the handover. He left after a couple of months, and I stepped up again.

Handing-over and taking over happened five times over in that project whenever the head table was vacant.

I was an accidental project manager, a leader in the making.

I was fortunate to have got the position in portions, and I learned to lead. The best part was I never complained. Fortunately, I led the team for most of the project duration because of circumstances, not in my control.

I was younger, energetic, and the situation demanded I seized the opportunity and take control. My behavior, actions, and responses were very autocratic, as I was a new leader.

In 2008, a large hotel project was in turbulence. As a consulting organization, we were about to lose the account. My MD expressed his concern in a review meeting. I gathered that the client’s head was an ex-army colonel who was making things difficult for our team with his demands and expectations. So I stepped forward and volunteered to lead the team.

Quickly, I realized Colonel was right in his demands. The team was underperforming. It was an uphill task to hold the account tight.

I decided to break goals into shorter modules. In parallel I spoke to the team about why it was necessary to come out winning quickly. Later, I assigned the goals to each member and monitored them until we got out of the trenches in the next few months.

Three years later, everyone was ecstatic during the celebration of the project’s finish. It was a win for the Pace setting approach that I experimented with. I felt it was best suited for that situation.

Few years from there, while heading a large PMO, I took another challenging role. Here each resource on the account was an SME and very skillful.

How do you lead those who are already very skillful in their domains? Like a football team, each one there is for a specific purpose in the field.

My thought was revolving around the word “enhancement,” which was the expectation from the client. If one comes out of the status quo. I gathered about the comforts, challenges, and aspirations of my team members to align my plan.

I coached most of them to enhance our method of delivery for five years. Enhancement had multi-dimensional benefits in more incredible support, collaborations, communications, teamwork, and performance.

Crisis-like situations were also common in my professional journey. Performance measurements are heightened in those times. To manage and create an impact, I have used coercive style to bring about a few quick changes.

Leadership style isn’t like personality. It can be intentionally altered. Choosing, integrating, and blending styles will allow us to become powerful enough to be heard and attractive enough to be followed.

It is best to continue learning about various styles, keep applying them, and volunteer to take leadership positions to lead teams at all opportunities.

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is also a Transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. He writes to share his experiences about his personal experiences in his career and his coachee’s transformation journeys.

Choose your Marker was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

People’s behavior and decisions define the trajectory of organizations and ambitions.

Often (mis) behavior are due to emotional outburst to situations or an incident. Many times they are reactions to someone else’s action, clearly the third law of Newton. It is also often said and understood that response is better than reaction. But do people bite the bullet often? Does intellect override the mind on decisions?

The mind is the creator of thoughts, a factory of thoughts where there is hardly any QC. A thought is generated due to inputs from our sensory organs. That thought allows senses to react quickly. Such reactions are seldom correct and accepted.

We are still in times where personal interactions are yet to tend to zero. People’s interactions also have reactions. Decisions are made in a hurry rather than involving the intellect completely. Some people don’t change their choices despite realizing later that their decision is incorrect. This nature is being adamant — more of an emotional anchor.

Why do organizations and people behave the way they do, or why do some people make incorrect decisions about/around conducting businesses. Leaders decide to act in a specific manner and often miss the obverse side of the coin.

Read this, and many of you would relate to this story very closely.

Fall from the Grace

We had checked and corrected claims of a supplier in a project and found overcharges. We sought more details on the claims. For an overextended period of 6 months, looping clients, we exchanged over a dozen emails pursuing facts and documents.

Each time we received as response to our mail, we were disappointed. The content of supplier’s email was not related to information we sought. The content was more of proverbial ‘beating around the bush’. In some responses the supplier also had made personal attacks on people involved in the project.

Tired, we stopped corresponding and informed the client that we give up.

It is now a year since we withdrew from the project. The client still receives emails from the supplier. In their email the supplier continues to accuse the client stating that ‘client has no intentions to pay and making excuses’. Whereas on the contrary, the supplier is unable to substantiate their claims to the client.

Such actions of the leaders and organizations are labeled as thorny and considered as overly adamant, unprofessional, and non-transparent.

The supplier had committed a claim with his submission and could not substanciate it. They were not inclined to admit their inaccuracy and omission. Here the action was more of a mental block rather than an act of the intellect. To submit the claim decision was made in a hurry, and several errors were recorded following the decision.

The whole situation later moved into a different trajectory and was handled by another department. The client forbids the supplier organization from future engagement and has also mentioned the inactions of the supplier to several leaders and ethical committees in the industry.

Check the another face of the situation

Leaders should always have an ‘obverse face’ in their minds around decision-making and conducting business transactions. In this state, the face value of the action is determined primarily by others.

In various statuses of win and lose, there is no space for being adamant and reluctant. Businesses are always about winning — winning together, winning to move forward, or winning differently. Then why not win by enhancing the face value along with the transactional value.

Bit by bit, each transaction enhances trust and flight towards excellence. When taken at intellectual level, organizational decisions are more superior to those taken at the mind level.

Leaders need to sit back and pass on the decision-making to the intellect (charioteer), not the mind (reigns). The mind controls the actions of the sense organs (horses), and acts determine the organization’s stature or that of an individual.

It is easier to say ‘be mindful,’ but for actions more apt is an intelligent decision — an informed one.

About the Author: Nagesh Ramamurthy is also a Transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. He writes to share his experiences about his personal experiences in his career and his coachee’s transformation journeys.

Be the charioteer and steer. was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Sam was a loner as a manager. He was generally silent and usually found deep into his laptop screen working and responding to his emails. Seldom one could see him interacting with people. Within a year on this account, I realized that he spent about 10% with people, mostly during closed meetings. He needed the company when at lunch. He was very punctual and methodical in his work.

He was the topic of discussions by those fond of talking about people as their pass time. Walk into any informal huddle, and you would hear his mention definitely for once.

Sam’s skill, knowledge, and experience were par excellence. He was very punctual and methodical in his work. Sam was a manager with excellent caliber and thoughts. His ideas and opinions were very forward-looking. After a critical discussion, one would wonder why they couldn’t think of such views or responses.

Sam had an excellent questioning attitude and ability.

Why not?

Why shouldn’t we?

What if?

So what?

What are our options?

For every response to his question, there was another one from him. If one were to answer all his queries, he would still argue that ‘this is not what I wanted.’ And, he never stated his complete requirements.

Each decision-making meeting with him never ends with a conclusion. He was famous for sending back a proposal indicating that those were incomplete. The suggestions, recommendations, strategies, and plans were comprehensive, but he commented that something was missing. The teams could not gather Sam’s requirement and always wondered why they are treated this way. This behavior was a topic of discussion amongst his colleagues mostly.

Sam was a difficult person to approach due to his questioning behaviors. Usually, school kids have this behavior due to their nature of being very inquisitive. Here Sam’s behavior was very unnerving for many of his colleagues in the project. Sam was termed as a disruptor to ‘business as usual’ by by few.

Some managers like Sam are generally visionary and would already have solutions to the problems. They are overly cautious, intends to buy time, gather ruthless pleasure ridiculing fellow workers.

Organizations don’t benefit from the ‘not-so-typical’ behavior of managers like Sam. Their behavior delay decision making causes people-related issues within teams, and some lose their inner peace. Despite such visible actions by managers, leadership chooses to turn blind and be quiet.

“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes — Chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, desire.” — Aristotle.

Nature and habits were reasons for Sam’s behavior.

It is good to be prepared and prepare for the good. It is best to go deeper into your details and never get intimidated by your manager. Looking at the parts that make the whole is essential.

To win your argument, you will have to work on whatever makes managers resist change. Maybe they are emotional. By working alongside them, you will be able to provide new ideas to them, help them see through your eyes, and get their responses your way.

Each part has a joint (links) that connects them. ‘Joints are the weakest part of any structure.’ Focusing on these links would allow one to plan deeper and beyond to realize if this joint will still be more robust in the future.

Often managers tend to vision based on their experience. Working with them closely to disjoint those past experiences to current, gather joints of resistance to change, and provide a fresh perspective to future status helps you conquer their opinions.

We are mainly judged by how we bring an issue to closure. We break a problem into its smaller parts and then solve them, yet keeping the joints intact can yield better closure.

Rather than working individually, rehearsing the plan with experienced team members provides envisioning on challenges, issues, and success collectively. Such a recce offers a sense of strength and security. Fear of being weak, alone, and unsupported are addressed effectively.

Lastly, there can be constrictions in a part that disallows smooth flow. These issues and challenges would need complete focus, plan, and energy. Investment of time to resolve these bottlenecks before a discussion for approval allows ease of managing resistance with more spirit and confidence.

With a clear mind and focus on the goal, success with stakeholders can be achieved. Ways to have high morale and create enthusiasm are within you, and means are necessary to move forward. Attention to parts, joints, and constraints coupled with knowledge, planning, and envisioning reinforces your chances to win.

Nagesh Ramamurthy is a Transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation, mainly prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. He writes to share his personal experiences in his career and about his coachee’s transformation journeys.

Salim was sitting in the pump room and staring at the ceiling. I placed my hand gently on his shoulder, and he showed signs of shock. I inquired if Salim was looking worried about some problem in the overhead mechanical system. He smiled and walked away. Something was bothering him. In moments we were together for lunch.

While at lunch, we discussed many things, many of them beyond work. We never touched discussions about a smile earlier.

I was trying to sleep while reading a book that same night. I was often distracted. Salim’s scene, his busyness in thoughts and smile after that, came in front of my eyes. I also started worrying about what bothered Salim.

How incidents, behavior, responses, and situations generated externally create so many thoughts.

The more we think about these to find out causes, reasons, and trace the events, the more we remember it as an experience.

I had read once: Until you change the thinking, you will always recycle your experience.

Salim, an efficient program manager, was excellent in coordinating, collaborating, and contributing. He was very skillful at problem identification and generating a solution. A quality very few had in my projects.

He was soon becoming infamous for a couple of his behavior.

Salim always placed work before himself. He was very deep-rooted to his work. Very skillful in his approach to problem-solving collaboratively that many misunderstood it as micromanagement.

Salim talked to every team member each day twice. He gathered about progress, situations, next steps, and immediate actions that were required. He always had his end-user in mind; after all, the ball stops rolling at him most of the time. Salim had understood that in their business as a service organization, attention to every detail was significant for customer delight.

Salim’s leadership complained that he spent too much time on follow-ups, causing frequent interruptions to work and a shortened work window. Salim was leading a 55-member team. His follow-up was with those who required close monitoring. Many others in his unit were aware of the criticality of their customers’ attention and urgency. Salim was very unhappy with someone’s complaint against him.

Salim was also an intelligent manager, thinking several steps ahead for every action was natural for him. His team interactions were not accepted well by a few of his team members. It is common for employees to think to proverbially cross the bridge when they get there. Salim was a better risk manager for his customers.

Perception of micromanagement, over communication, and complaints were decreasing the bonding between Salim and his team. The gap between people was growing more massive event after the event. There was disgruntlement brewing. This people chasm had to be closed. Salim and I needed a quick conversation together.

In our quick 1-on-1, I mentioned to Salim :

Experiences with people are like grips of a racquet. Each stroke has a gripping intensity. The best grip is when the shot is successful. Experiences provide us with lessons. When one lesson is learned, it is time to try a new grip for a different situation with the same playing partner.

His narration on the current situation reminded me of two quotes –

I myself am made with flaws stitched with good intentions — Augusten Burroughs.

Our intentions create reality — Wayne Dyer.

After our quick meeting. I had the following thoughts –

• In our workplace, we are often so engrossed performing and delivering that we have no time to stop, think, and understand why someone behaves in the way they behave.
• People are always unclear why their managers ask questions and sometimes quiz. Is it that they are fond of that or they have positive intentions?
• Micromanaging is unclear to many. It is not about seeking details, progress, communication continuously, and coordinating. If so, then ATS micro-manages all pilots. Both have distinct roles.
• While dialing-up, Salim has to manage his leadership, customer, and overall business goals. He sought support from the team to achieve organizational goals together. He often smiled when he thinks that organizational goals are not-so-clear to everyone.
• There are ways a manager develops and works with his team. Rub stones continuously to get a spark. A good strategy to push a center-forward to forward position occasionally provides them a feel of responsibilities and prepares them for future roles.
• Describing a cake in every possible manner is not enough; the flavor of a cake is cherished when eaten. Many powerhouse leaders, like Salim, adopt this strategy.
• few team members complain to divert the focus from their incapability and inefficiencies.
• Salim was not explaining the WHY part of his interactions with his team clearly.

Managers are always anxious, as they often think ahead and are mindful of organizational goals. Lineworkers focus on routines. Conflicts occur when there are differences in understanding, perception, intentions, and goals. These managed by bringing them to a common denominator. Managers have a greater role and onus in providing clarity.

Wisdom is the daughter of experience — Leonardo da Vinci.

It is better for everyone to quickly become wiser from each experience and march ahead to provide value. Getting stuck in one place has helped no one.

Cohesive teams have common experiences about/with one another. When you hear experiences, which are same from each one individually, teams have the winning formulae for higher efficiency and performance. Else, there is a need to enhance people experiences higher for better organisational growth.

Nagesh Ramamurthy is a Transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. He writes to share his personal experiences in his career and about his coachee’s transformation journeys.

Understand your Manager’s Intentions, Pace your Improvement Plan was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

How does the past provide insights about the future? Aren't past truths real for the future as well?

For some businesses, the future is based on analysis, thinking, and envisioning. Past data drive current actions for them. Should companies ignore people’s past (and present)?

Sunil was a chatterbox in the office. The workspace was disrupting with his loud voices most of the day. Some liked his juicy talks as he was a source of entertainment and information for them. For many, it was a nuisance, and they complained in vain.

Sunil always talked about everybody to everyone else. For him, no one was perfect but him. Everyone in the office was the subject of his local gossips. He had made a partner who listened to him as his buddy in office gossips. This couple was known for their acts together related to office conversations.

I wonder why there is no zero tolerance for such a situation in an office setup.

I was amused when I overheard about Sunil on one of my flight journeys. I was sure that this person knew Sunil very well. I turned back through the gap between the seats and found a familiar face. We exchanged greetings at the airport. I casually enquired about the conversation I had overheard. I got a thorough background about Sunil.

Sunil had this habit of talking about everyone to everyone else in his previous organizations too. I discovered that Sunil was (in)famous for this style and routine outside the office.

There was a past truth about Sunil, now discovered.

If demeaning through gossips was painting, Sunil was Picasso of it.

Below were some of Sunil’s reactions to routine situations often ignored by his colleagues.

• I went there and looked at the issues. It is not an issue at all.
• There was a severe problem. I solved it.
• I spoke to the client and convinced him.
• He doesn’t know anything. He is worthless.
• I often notice you confusing me. Tell me again.
• I sat till 3 am and completed it.
• I learned it myself, and I can teach it to others.
• You call him and ask him to attend the meeting.
• We had a similar problem at my last company. I solved it in minutes.

Be a player who runs for GOALS, not a referee who looks for faults — Bubul Agrawal.

Sunil had projected himself as an efficient problem solver, always on top of things, and a very sought-after person. He was fast in keeping his leaders updated on all events and actions. He got very close to top leaders. At every instance of updates, he was opportunist to mention how someone failed, and he gains points.

Top leadership never sought to gather info from others. They trusted their first line. Other layers in the organizations were also efficient and trustworthy. As I worked through layers due to my advisory work, I can underline this fact. Sunil bullied. His team feared since he was close to the leaders. Sunil’s proximity to top leadership and behavior was easy to pipe in ill about them into ears his leadership.

With a mask on always, why do people like Sunil flourish?

Various A’s emerge, some of them are -

1. Sunil mastered the art of deluding his superiors with his stories. His stories are so convincing that it needs no validation. His leaders are an easy kill for him. — People form wrong opinion about leaders.
2. The focus of Sunil’s managers was resolution. They were not worried about who is doing it and what the facts were. — Demotivating for lower layers.
3. Cultural of his organization disallows open conversations due to a stricter hierarchical system. — Hampers people growth.
4. Processes around diligence during recruitment has been absent or very lenient. — Creepy employees in teams.
5. The appraisal system of the organization is very tolerant and notional. — Brews disparity.

As a man is known by the company he keeps, people’s behavior determines a company’s ethos. Past and present of people portray and build (and dilute) the image of the company.

Many organizations are strong in their deliveries and delight their customers with robust processes around operations. But, the right culture around people is absent. Corporate gather accolades due to better financial, commercial, and operational deliveries but erode their image immensely due to people-related behaviors.

History has that great companies with fantastic growth have faced flak due to lousy behavior by its employees in its pages. Some corporations have lost millions due to behavioral issues of their human resources.

Should we wait to learn from our failures or gain from someone else’s (our) past?

The past has a lot for us to gather from, build on, and device the next steps for better. While organizations strategize for growth, develop business principles, operating requirements. For human resource diligence and development, lots of ground need to be covered yet. Recruitment and assessments of people need to focus on employee diligence around behavior.

Everyone has a role to play, not just leave the Human Resource team for actions. Note this: what if HR has mounted a gossip wagon? Leaders should spare time defining cultural parameters, rolling out actionable appraisals related to behavior, setting up individual goals towards enhancing people’s images, being brutal and intolerant. There can be more to the steps associated with image building. However, making the beginning is better.

About the Author, Nagesh Ramamurthy is a Transition Coach. He assists in people’s transformation to prepare his coachee to be ready for their new role. He writes to share his personal experiences in his career and about his coachee’s transformation journeys.

Human Due Diligence to Better Organisational Culture was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.