<![CDATA[Stories by Patrick Metzger on Medium]]> https://medium.com/@pfmetzger?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/fit/c/150/150/1*UNBsVP4vizA85VOVj749Xg.jpeg Stories by Patrick Metzger on Medium https://medium.com/@pfmetzger?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 Medium Sat, 14 Nov 2026 00:59:15 GMT <![CDATA[Looking for Fae in the Park]]>

Thoughts on ancient gods, Bigfoot hunters, and how a squirrel is sometimes just a squirrel

Continue reading on The Narrative Arc »

]]> https://medium.com/the-narrative-arc/looking-for-fae-in-the-park-070a4c41abea?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/070a4c41abea Wed, 11 Nov 2026 22:01:01 GMT 2026-11-11T22:01:01.601Z <![CDATA[Trump Blames GOP Midterm Disaster on Lack of Candidates With Taut, Shapely Buttocks]]>

President unveils Buns of Steel Initiative to win back Congress in 2028

Continue reading on MuddyUm »

]]> https://muddyum.net/trump-blames-gop-midterm-disaster-on-lack-of-candidates-with-taut-shapely-buttocks-24f042e8abd3?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/24f042e8abd3 Wed, 04 Nov 2026 23:12:11 GMT 2026-11-04T23:12:11.956Z <![CDATA[A Supermarket Stranger Asked Me to Reach Something That Was on the Floor]]>

Sometimes being close to the ground is a gift

Continue reading on it’s just foam »

]]> https://medium.com/its-just-foam/a-supermarket-stranger-asked-me-to-reach-something-that-was-on-the-floor-be9acffecad4?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/be9acffecad4 Sun, 01 Nov 2026 17:39:44 GMT 2026-11-01T21:36:11.448Z <![CDATA[For Halloween: all my horror stories on Medium.]]> https://pfmetzger.medium.com/for-halloween-all-my-horror-stories-on-medium-f994c7f72681?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/f994c7f72681 Sat, 31 Oct 2026 14:08:57 GMT 2026-10-31T14:08:57.823Z List: Horror | Curated by Patrick Metzger | Medium

]]> <![CDATA[The Grown-Up in the Room]]>

On the moments when a nearly grown child still reaches for his dad

Continue reading on Sweary Media »

]]> https://swearymommy.com/the-grown-up-in-the-room-b5f946766e94?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/b5f946766e94 Fri, 23 Oct 2026 13:10:56 GMT 2026-10-23T13:10:56.382Z <![CDATA[Quisling Canucks Fuck Off]]>

Canadians cheering for annexation should know what history calls people like them

Continue reading on Medium »

]]> https://pfmetzger.medium.com/quisling-canucks-fuck-off-3b5a51723245?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/3b5a51723245 Mon, 19 Oct 2026 19:41:09 GMT 2026-10-19T20:01:07.455Z <![CDATA[I Dialled a Wrong Number and a Russian Man Said, “Hi Patrick”]]>

In which I take small events and make a Big Deal out of them

Continue reading on The Haven »

]]> https://medium.com/the-haven/i-dialled-a-wrong-number-and-a-russian-man-said-hi-patrick-6f4cff86af20?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/6f4cff86af20 Sat, 17 Oct 2026 16:32:26 GMT 2026-10-17T16:43:58.721Z <![CDATA[When All My Hair Is White]]>

Gone to the magic

Continue reading on Scrittura »

]]> https://medium.com/scrittura/when-all-my-hair-is-white-1b1bc870137e?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/1b1bc870137e Sat, 10 Oct 2026 13:01:02 GMT 2026-10-10T13:01:02.788Z <![CDATA[Dexter and the Bad Dream]]>

What cats are good for

Continue reading on it’s just foam »

]]> https://medium.com/its-just-foam/dexter-and-the-bad-dream-ea7700000c27?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/ea7700000c27 Fri, 09 Oct 2026 16:19:04 GMT 2026-10-09T21:49:24.646Z <![CDATA[The Indignity of Being Called Sir At The Pool]]>

It’s Latin for ‘old man’

Continue reading on Crow’s Feet: Life As We Age »

]]> https://medium.com/crows-feet/the-indignity-of-being-called-sir-at-the-pool-04d292bd07b4?source=rss-77a51d311e06------2 https://medium.com/p/04d292bd07b4 Tue, 29 Sep 2026 17:45:41 GMT 2026-09-29T17:45:41.062Z