I just returned home to Bali after 2 months of kiteboarding in the Philippines. Today I will complete the transfer of the property I developed near Ubud as a center to explore the subtle art of human connection. I am so pleased to be transitioning the property to my dear friend Ky, who will be stewarding the property by hosting nervous system regulation programs on an ongoing basis. I believe this work to be of paramount importance in a world undergoing unprecedented changes. I think we can all agree that a little nervous system regulation would do us all some good. To that end, please take a peek at https://www.huomn.com/ and consider joining for one of their upcoming programs. I can say with great confidence that this experience will be life transforming and provide the foundation upon which to navigate life with grace and ease.

As for the road ahead, I am committing this next chapter to double down on my passion for connecting individuals that are committed to bringing more beauty into this world in whatever form inspires them most.

In practical terms, that means that I will focus on structuring deals among individuals that align on a vision for the future that creates more peace and harmony for mankind. I'm specifically excited by opportunities in the realm of systemic change, which basically means that I like to work with visionaries. At the moment, I'm specifically excited about agile solutions that empower humans to create, live and adapt new social, environmental and economic frameworks that benefit all life. Below are a few areas that excite me at the moment.

- the potential of blockchain to foster more decentralization, which ultimately is an agent for human empowerment.
- AI for its ability to disrupt all work that can be automated such that humans are empowered to focus their vital life force on the expression of creativity in their lives.
- Technologies that foster regenerative economies.
- infrastructure that supports sustainable land use.

Please feel free to reach out to me If you think there's anyone I should meet.

And with that, I'm sending you all much love and appreciation for the impact you've had up on my life. I would not be who I am without you.

I look forward to crossing paths on the road ahead.

Your friend,

The Fix

What is time anyway, but a construct of the human mind? I tried asking my cat about time, but she just ignored me. I guess time doesn’t matter to her. Jokes aside, if time is simply an invented creation that humans use to measure our lives down to every last detail, we’ve done a great job. And...look at where it’s left us today. We are obsessed with time to the point were it’s driving many of us into absolute insanity. If we were to pull a thread from the global mental health epidemic on the planet today, we would see that it’s weaved through time. Clearly, time has its place 'in time’, but other than that, we need to keep it in check by placing it on the sidelines of life so that we have more space (not time) to enjoy our lives.

So, in this timeless state, how does one live fully?

Having spent decades studying a variety of philosophies and frameworks for life, I have discovered a few common threads that weave into a beautifully lived life. Let’s begin…

Feel fully.

Everyone seems to chase happiness, yet most end up miserable. Why? Because desire is the sweetest of all poison. We end up pushing away what we don’t like and crave what we do like. We push to avoid and we pull what we desire. Yet, the more we push it away, the more it comes our way. And conversely, the more we pull it towards us, the faster it runs away. Oh, the pendulum of life. What a paradox and what to do? Well, most aren’t willing to give up desire. It’s a mass addiction; to seek pleasure which usually leads to pain. But there is a way out. Unfortunately, when we’re stuck in the trap, we’re like a mouse running in panic with little to no awareness of the way out. And when shown the escape hatch, we are afraid to exit because we’ve become accustomed to our cage. Well, the cage is a representation of fear and most of us have become hardwired to live in fear. It’s what’s comfortable. But outside of fear, there is only love. And ‘in love’, there is only peace and harmony; this is the true essence of bliss. The only way to reach this state of awareness is to take the bold leap out of the cage and into the abyss of love. In the process, we will meet all our traumas. We will undoubtedly pass a dark night of the soul; a reckoning moment. If we’re brave enough to ‘feel fully’ through the intensity of all the emotion, we will arrive on the other side. We will experience an entirely new texture of desire; one that is unconditional and equanimous with the natural flow of life. Desire transforms into bliss; a harmonious state of being. We will be in it, the game of life, for the ‘joy of the ride’ rather than the destination. As they say, the only way out is through. And the way through is to consistently meet all our emotions with love, attention and equanimity. We can do this!

Follow your bliss.

With a new context for understanding bliss, let’s imagine a soft wind blowing; giving bliss a directional quality. As we catch sail on a marvelous journey through life, we eventually discover meaning and purpose. In time, we become guided by intention and alignment with this purpose. All searching ends as we simply allow life to flow through us and consistently tack our sale to align with our life’s purpose.

Create from love.

Thoughts arrive. We articulate them through language. These words instruct us to take action. The coordinated action results in the manifestation of physical form. The entire built world occurs in this way. As we’ve learned from war, we can construct cities over thousands of years and demolish them with bombs in an instant. How sharp is the distinction between creation and destruction? And why is this so? Simply speaking, because most creation that has existed on this planet for a very long time has been motivated by fear. And fear only begets more fear, ie. destruction. But the inverse is also true; love begets love. Imagine a world where all thoughts, words and actions arose from love. They could only create more love. Yeah, I know it sounds woo-woo. But it also makes logical sense that can be calculated on scientific terms. It is the law of attraction. Like attracts like and opposite attract to create polarity, balance and neutrality. Imagine what the world would look like if all thoughts, words and actions were created from love.

Ok, today’s living fully recipe only has three ingredients. I could have added more to spice things up, but let’s KISS (keep it simple silly) and leave the rest for another day.

We can do this!

Catchy headlines always catch attention!

That’s what we’re all looking for, right? How did we become an attention deprived society anyway?

Before we get into it, this post seeks to understand and unravel the complexity around remembering how to love again, but mostly how to allow ourselves to recieve love.

When we look out at the social media landscape, it is littered with humans screaming for attention by performing. It’s as if we have all become professional actors, hiding our true feelings behind our manufactured persona. 'Look at how great I am; you should love me.' It simply doesn’t work; all we attract is shallow and empty 'likes' by others also desperately seeking attention. If this isn’t sad enough, the high-paid psychlogists employed by the the bohemouth tech giants have geniusly architected how to harness our trauma and transform it into big profits by devouring our attention. This is an old story by now, so I’ll stop here but you get the point.

We only need to spend a few minutes with a baby to know that human beings are hardwired from birth to give and recieve love. So what happened? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. God bless them, it started wit our parents. In their honest attempts to nurture our development, the delicately crafted our persona by molding our behaviors. How did they do this? Well, it was mostly unconscious behavior on their part, but very well intentioned. They would encourage what they deemed as 'good' behavior and discipline what they believed to be 'bad' behavior. A parent constantly tells their daughter she is beautiful. And so the daughter learns that, as long as she is beautiful, she will be loved. A boy is told he is strong and he learns that he should hide is emotions and only project strength in order to recieve acknoledgement and acceptence by others. The list goes on and on, but the reality is that we are molded as humans to behave in predetermined ways; ways that are determined by others in our pre-pubesent years. We are not who we think we are, but rather expressions of who others want us to be. In reality, there is no free will. We have become robots devoid of emotion. But that’s not true. The emotion is still there; they’re just barried under the surface screaming to be expressed. And eventually they does express themselves, but unfortunately in very strange (and often inhumane) ways. Kids running into schools and shooting other kids, deranged dictators ordering genocides, an employee causing shame to his boss then jumping out the highrise window, and a myraid of more mild expressions of mental health disorders.

So here we are, traumatized humans desperately seeking love yet terrified to recieve it. Why? Because we remember how bad it hurt when love was taken away. And we committed to never being hurt like that again. But that’s not the full truth. In reality, we don’t remember with our minds; our bodies remember. And love was never actually taken away; that was just our perception. But unfortunately our pre-pubesent minds were not mature enough to analize the situation with complete understanding. In reality, the percpetion of love being taken away was a delusion of our perception. It actually had nothing to do with us. Our parents yelled at us for doing something they deemed as potentially harmfull becuase they don’t want us to get hurt. Why? Because they cannot bear the thought of seeing us in pain. Why? Because we have become the embodyment of their love. They have become co-dependent on us being healthy, happy and present in their lives. Why? Because if we disappear, they would disappear. We have become the projection of their identity. They have litterally 'outsourced' their identity to us. And in order to keep it intact, we must behave a certain way. Ok, I realize this is a harsh exageragion, but it’s designed to illustraite a point. Our parents, family, friends and peers mean the best, but their projections are all subconsions actions to keep them feeling safe. Why? Because they too have burried their emotions so deep that they are terrified to expose them. So, what happens...we become a conformist society. Human robots with very predictable behaviors. Unfortunately, with the advancement of technology, currently being expressed as AI, our predictable behaviors have the potential to make humans obsolete. I will dive more into this topic in another post one day soon. But for now, let’s assume that most humans and potentially all humans will become obsolete at some point in the not so distant future. AI can already learn, imitate and predict human behavior. Robots can already do backflips and cook a delicious 5-course meal. Now imagine AI + Robots, I mean really stretch your imagination. Now, it’s best to assume that all those crazy ideas that popped into your mind are currently being research and implemented at this very mement. Shits about to get very crazy, and fast! So, what’s the solution?

The only way out is through. We must find a way to dig deep into our past traumas and unearth them. We must allow ourselves to feel them fully. That is THE ONLY way to heal them. The more we avoid them, the more they haunt us. This is clear. But what's not clear for most is that these past traumas ACTUALLY are NOT that scary once we are able to reach them. Maybe the emotions were hard to handle when the actual event occured many years ago, but today they are powerless. They are like the ghost hiding under the bead. When we attempt to rest under the sheats, we shiver with fear. But if we are crazy enough to climb under the bed and hang out with the ghost, we realize that he/she is our friend. The ghost is actually there to help us; to heal us. But only if we let them. The only way out is through.

The superheros of the future will be highly emotionally intellegent beings. They will be able to be in the presence of any experience and remain calm. That won’t mean that they will be emotionless. It’s actually the opposite; they will be fealing the experience fully and holding compassion in a way that is actually helful for others; hence superheros. How can they be this way? Because they have learned to feel fully. They have befriended their emotions to such a degree that they can be with them and remain at peace. Their emotions become their guidance system; allowing them to consciouly respond to any situation rather than reacting 'out of' emotion. Think about those words...we are acting 'out of' the emotion, thus we are reacting like a wounded child. The reality is that most adults today are actually children in 'old people' skin bags. Don’t let their age fool you. Unfortunately, most of the 'adults' that run our world are reactive in their decisions, which actually aren’t decisions. A realy decision requires a conscious response that is devoid of inherited trauma. Any 'decision' to go to war as an immature action seeded in the avoidance, and thus, projection of trauma.

Ok, so as the love doctor (just a charicter I’m playing for you today), I am going to perscribe a vacine for you all that will not only 'heal' you (unlike the 'COVID' vaccine); it will turn you all into superheros. But these won’t be your ordinary comic book superheros, they will be everyday ordinary human beings that move through the world humbly and relitively invisible to most. However, be certain, these extraordinary indivduals will be invincible to any and all manufactured manifestations of 'fear' orchestrated in an attemt to control us humans. In the future, these superheros will become our guides; a new kind of leader that actually leads from the bottom and the back. In reality, they are motivated to help you and I rise up; to become stars and superheros ourselves. How cool is that?

Are you ready for the vaccine?

Participate in a 3-month challenge to transform your life.

The challenge.

Each week you will challenge yourself to do something new that both excites you and scares you.

The reward.

• You will develop new habits and behaviors that will transform your life.
• You will make new friends and develop a nurturing community of aligned individuals committed to living fully.

The investment.

Your 100% commitment to successfully completing The Living Fully Challenge.

The rules.

• Make a list of 12 micro-challenges, one for each week. Examples will be provided below.
• Sign up by sharing your list via our Telegram Group @thepureproject.
• Share your progress in completing your micro-challenges by check-in each day with your fellow participants via our Telegram Group @thepureproject.
• Follow Instagram @thepureproject to receive regular updates and ask any questions about the challenge.

Micro-challenge examples.

Below are my 12 weekly micro-challenges from when I did The Living Fully Challenge several years ago. Feel free to use these as inspiration. Each weekly micro-challenge can be done every day for that week or once in that week; it’s entirely up to you.

1. Buy several dozen coconuts and hand them out to strangers.
2. Go swimming alone in the ocean at night and stargaze.
3. Have a conversation with three strangers each day.
4. Walk barefoot for one week.
5. Watch the sunrise and sunset every day.
6. Perform random acts of kindness towards strangers.
7. Only do things that bring me joy.
8. Do a 7-day juice cleanse.
9. Walk 1 hour each day, taking a different route.
10. Work from a different location each day.
11. Meditate 2 hours per day.
12. Don’t speak for 1 week.

Pro-tips.

Below are a few additional ingredients that helped me to further optimize my experience while conducting each of the above micro-challenges. Feel free to use any of these or add your own to enhance your performance while participating in this 3-month challenge.

• Pretend that life is a game and I am the champion.
• Make the game fun & playful.
• Use fear as the key to unlock new experiences.
• Remove failure as an option.
• Practice consciously connected breathing to promote presence.
• Sleep at least 8 hours per day.
• Personal practice w/ no technology for the 1st hour of each day.
• Drink at least 1 sip of water ever 30 minutes while awake.
• Shift to a primarily plant-based diet.
• Make eye contact with everyone that crosses our path.
• Reflect on the day before sleeping.
• Exercise at least 30 minutes each day.
• Keep the chest and head raised high.

If any of this is not clear, feel free to message @thepureproject on Instagram.

Let’s do this!

It started with the most startling nightmare; one that shook me to my feet. It was about 1 month ago. I was staying at my wellness center near Ubud, Bali. This is my home when I’m not renting it out for retreats. A jungle oasis nestled into a river valley, this living laboratory awakens my spirit and nurtures a deep connection within myself.

I woke tossing and turning. It was about 3am. In my lucid dreamstate, I took stock of what had just happened. I was a little boy; about 3 years old and before my mind had the capacity to make meaning. My mother was my everything. I loved her more than my mind could comprehend. We were inseperable and I felt her deeply within my body. We were one. Her joy was my joy; and so was her pain. With all her power, she would suppress her emotions to the best of her ability to show her best version in my presence. Yet I could feel everything; she could not hide this sadness. Without knowing what I was doing, I would absorb this pain into my being in a futile attempt to releave her suffering. I felt it’s weight. It had become unbearable in my latter years. I dreamed of what it would feel like if this sadness was removed from my being. I felt my soul lift high and my body began to tingle with radient joy. I was floating on a bed of clouds…until I collapsed. In a flash, I remembered that this sadness had consumed my being. I could not imagine letting it go as it was me. It would be like a death to my being. How would I navigate life if I let go of this integral part of my being? A wave of tears flushed my eyes and brought me to my feet. In my lucid dreamstate, I walked out of my bedroom, across the living room, down the porch steps and slipped into the pool naked. I starred up at the full moon, blazingly bright. I had the sobering sensation that I was this light and this light was me. We were the same; a communion with the cosmos. I stood there for a few moments, soaking in the experience, and then returned to my bed to fall into a deep rest.

A few days before a dear friend came to visit me. She wanted to share some reflections with me, which she thought may be helpful. They were and they inspired this dream, meets nightmare. Since I embarked upon a spiritual lifepath back in 2002, I’ve held the assumption that the majority of my trauma originated from my relationship with my father. While there is certainly trauma sourced in that relationship, my friend helped me to understand, for the first time, that the core of my trauma relates to the deep connection I have with my mother.

My mother and I have an extraordinary relationship and I say that to the fullest of the meaning ‘extraordinary’. We were always close; me being her first child. My first memories were of her speaking to me as if I was an adult, yet I was probably only about 4 years old at the time. She was teaching me about ethics, morals and integrity; the foundation of being a good man. She was probably terrified that I might turn out like my father, and she would do anything to prevent that from happening. At 12, I had an experimental brain surgery to remove a tumor. Imagine my mom; she was destroyed. The thought of loosing her only son must have been unbearable. Again, I would have done anything to releave her of the pain she was experiencing. A reflection of my mother, I felt powerful beyond belief. I knew that I would be fine, yet I was only 12 and felt incapable of convincing my mother of this with my prepubescent mind. I did survive, yet the recovery was intense. My mother was a warrior. She stopped at nothing to ensure my full recovery. This process broght us even closer together. Over the years we became best friends. We traveled the world together. She was my favorite travel companion. The stories are epic and endless, like the time I came to rescue her in Venice, Italy. She was on a 10 day cycling trip across The Alps, from Munich to Venice. On her way down the foothills, her bike lost traction in the gravel and she went down hard. Brused and battered, I jumped on the next flight to Venice. I was in the wilderness of New Mexico for a gathering called Collective Legacy; bringing together Native American tribal leaders with visionary thought leaders. When I got the call, I drove across the desert to Denver and jumped on a direct flight to Venice. She was in pain and yet again, I would do anything to releive her of this pain. Thankfully I had brought some special Gummy Bears with me. I gave her a few and we went out for a bite to eat nearby. As we ate our pizza, my mom said we better leave as she might not be able to walk home soon. The Gummy Bears had done the trick! I dropped her off at our AirBnB and ventured on my own ‘trip’. When I returned several hours later, my mom was deep into the munchies and was laughing histarically. This is, hands down, one of my favorite memories with my mother. I could fill an entire book with stories inspired by my mother. We were more than mother/son and best friends, we were telepathic. And on rare occasions, this would lead to a collapse in our relationship. Through the pandemic, this happend twice. The second time was unbearable for me. I needed a break; to regain my footing. This break became much bigger than I could have ever expected. It’s been one and a half years by now. I’m just know coming to terms with what has been festering out of our deeply inspiring relationship. While this breakdown was provoked by my mother, it is much bigger than my relationship with my mother. This breakdown represents my relationship to all women. My soul knew I needed some space from my mother to process this deep trauma that lives inside me. I’m grateful for her patience, yet my heart aches for the loss of my deep connection to her. For now, it burns strong within as the fuel to transform this trauma into pure and radient joy.

Processing grief is not something that comes naturally to me, especially because I’m addicted to chasing after being happy. My entire adult life feels like a running away from sorrow yet I continue to struggle unraveling the intensely tight grip that this grief has on my being. My entire 20 year spiritual journey can be summed up in my countless futile attempts to meet the illusary deamon that holds the key to unlocking the trauma tormenting my life. If I had a penny for every time I heard ‘awareness is the first step’, I’d be a rich man. After all these years, thanks to the help of my dear friend shairng her invaluable insight that triggered this torturious nightmare, I’m just now beinging to get clarity on the source of this trauma and the key to unlocking it; it’s time to proccess grief so that it clears the path for pure joy to flood into my being.

A few weeks ago a friend visiting me from the US gave me this book he had just finished reading. It was titled ‘Wild, A Journey From Lost To Found. Huh, I thought, that’s interesting. As I sat down to read the book, it recalled the story of the author taking a 3 month journey on the Pacific Cresent Trail. Despite my attempts to hide my sadness, this dear friend saw it clearly. And then a few days later, yet another dear friend sent me a link to an audio book titled ‘The Wild Edge of Sorrow’. The sign was clear. I needed to embark upon my own journey to process my sorrow. In a stroke of brilliance, a few days later someone that I had never met in person yet had been messaging on Instagram for almost a year sent me a long note at of nowhere. She explained that she is traveling through a difficult moment in her life and needs to take some time for herself. She mentioned that she would be taking a 9 day trek on the Annapurna Trail in The Himalayas. I was stunned. Within minutes, were were on a call. And though our short conversation, I decided to join her in what we dubbed ‘the alone together journey’.

Here I am in Pokhara, Nepal just over a week after that call and we will set of at sunrise tomorrow morning on our trek up to Annapurna Base Camp. I spent this morning reading Cheryl Strayed’s ‘wild’ journey, which stunningly mirrors my experience in so many ways. To name a few, processing the grief related to her mother, the lengths she went to in order to avoid this procces as well as the fact that she had never hiked more than a few hours at a time before this grand journey. Today, I intentially decided to pause reading her book at the point where the preparation transitions into the actual hike itself. I’ll jump into that chapter as I embark on this chapter myself tomorrow morning.

I’m surprisingly numb as I write this post, yet yesterday I was wild with excitement. It must be the calm before the storm. Something big is bound to come up. While I release expectation, I am certainly holding a deep intention…to begin the journey of processing grief. In my vast experience with ceremonial experiences, one of the best tools I’ve learned in facilitating a transformational experience is the process of setting clear intentions. This requires gaining acute awareness of the core trauma and wound.

This is big.

As a child, I had begun taking on the pain my mother was experiencing. Pain she may not have even been aware of, yet one I felt deep in my bones. Over the years, I began to take on the pain my six younger sisters were experiencing. One was ripped away due to my mother’s second divorce. The weight of this pain was immense, yet I was stronger than the pain. I over-powered it day-in, day-out. I became stronger for it, or so I thought. And with this strength, I begin to take on more pain and process it with my sheer will and might. Raised by a powerful single mother, and with all my sisters, I felt very connected to the feminine. I understood none of this at the time, yet I felt most comfortable with women; especially those experiencing pain. I became a magnet for processing the pain of the feminine. And generally, this pain was triggered by the actions of the dark masuculine; or so I saw it. Naturally, I began to repress many aspects of my masculine energy to become safe for women to process their pain through me. It feels wild just uttering these words, yet here I am as a middle-age man collapsing under the pain I’ve absorbed by countless women I’ve attracted into my life that hold great pain induced my the dark masculine. There I said it. A rage boils up within me as I pound out these final words; an anger I hold against many men, but especially the anger I hold towards myself for taking on this responsibility that is not mine to hold.

For the past few years, I’ve been feeling my next book is coming and that it would be on the topic of surrender. This might be the moment and this could very well be the first chapter of my next book. Let’s see what comes through me as I trek up to the Annapurna Base Camp. I’ll be documenting along the way at ryanfix.medium.com as well as @iamthefix on Instagram.

Pray for me!

I’m about to complete my 47th rotation around the sun and I’m feeling tremendous gratitude for all the experiences life has brought me. Those that stand out the most tend to be packed with a potent life lesson or confirmation of my commitment to live my values. Letting go is a recurring theme. I’m currently radiating from one such experience, so I wanted to share it with you all as I thought you might find value in this story. Before I jump into the lesson and insight, here’s some background context…

When I reflect on the impact markers of this past year, Co-Liv is one I’m most proud of, especially because it reflects back my values. Today Co-Liv is considered the de facto global industry association for the Coliving sector. However, for me, it all started with a little experiment of turning my home into a communal living space in Williamsburg, Brooklyn back in 2012. By 2014, it had grown to 68 people living at Pure House; the name I gave to the experiment. It was catching the attention of major media channels such as the NY Times, which wrote a feature about us on the front page of the Sunday Real Estate section in 2015. I later discovered this was the first time a mainstream media source had used the word ‘coliving’; although niche blogs were already using the term. That made quite a splash and it went viral, leading to hundreds of emails from people all over the world thinking about doing similar kinds of communal housing projects. As I was still trying to figure out how to make Pure House a sustainable business, it occured to me that the best solution was to create a think tank to better understand what was happening in this emergent movement called coliving. After discussing this idea with my dear friend Fabrice Simondi while visiting his family’s NGO in Haiti and then subsequent conversations with my friend Claire Flurin back in NYC, we decided to establish Pure House Lab, a non-profit arm of Pure House. Matt Lesniak joined the team shortly thereafter and we were off to the races, so to speak. Within a year, the organization had grown significantly and the attention was growing. It became clear that we needed to rebrand to Co-Liv in order to avoid any further confusion as to the non-profit’s independent status in supporting the larger coliving movement, rather than a think tank of Pure House. That was a tipping point moment, where the organization went through another growth spurt. And then there was Gui Perdrix, a passionate advocate of coliving I met when I first moved to Bali back in 2019. As Claire was ready to step back as Executive Director to give way for fresh new energy to fuel the next chapter of Co-Liv, Gui was a perfectly timed match and wow, did he bring the energy with the launch of our country ambassador network (led by the passionate Cate Maiolini) among other initiatives. The pandemic was also another incredible opportunity for Co-Liv to innovate in a time of unrest and yearning for community and belonging. Our 2022 online Co-Liv Summit brought together 800+ coliving professionals. And this past week we hosted our global Co-Liv Summit in Cannes, France in partnership with MIPIM, the largest real estate conference in Europe. I’m blown away as the news of last weeks events flows into my inbox as I sit here at my tropical oasis in Bali.

What is inspiring me the most about all this is that it’s evidence of my beliefs and values. First and foremost, I believe that ideas have no value without effective execution. And experience has taught me that execution is not my forte, but rather inspiring, connecting and empowering others around a shared vision is where I shine. Once that is complete, my role is to listen to what they need and support as best I can from the sidelines. In my experience, when I discipline myself to ‘stay in my lane’ and do what I do best (catalyze, connect & support), the team gels and grows with very little need for input from me. That is exactly what has happened with Co-Liv.

For me and many, we seek validation in our efforts; in a futile attempt to feel valued and grasp for purpose or meaning. Yet, when we let go and surrender to live’s will, we recognize that we are already part of something much greater that our limited self-centric perspective. From this place, there is no need for validation.

In this moment, I’m actually experiencing a soft inward smile and sparkle of joy knowing that very few people in the Co-Liv community even know who I am, let alone my role in creating Co-Liv.

Imagine what the world would look like if we all felt in our body (not just our mind) our innate connection to life such that we no longer needed validation from others. I’m thinking of ‘the road to hell paved with good intentions’, as so many of us find ourselves acting in ways to receive validation that often create more destruction on this beautiful planet we call home. I think of the impulse to have children, the instinct to protect them, the desire to give them opportunities we didn’t have, etc., etc. I think if all the unintended outcomes that arise from our desires and then I think about the Buddhist teachings about how desire is the root of all suffering. What is desire if not a yearning to feel whole by pulling things to us? Yet, it seems clear that everything we resist persists and everything we crave goes away. Thus, if we desire to live in peace, we must learn to surrender to life and go with the flow; enjoying every moment with our full presence and then releasing it so that we may remain open for the next beautiful moment to arise. This is the practice of non-attachment, releasing our dependency on things occuring outside of us to fill us with purpose and meaning. If we want to experience peace, freedom and liberation, we must find a way to connect with our inner wisdom, for it knows we have always been and will always be whole. Connection is a constant by the fact that we are alive on Earth. We are born from this planet, it is within us and we are within it, and when our bodies stop functioning, we will return back to the Earth to be born into another cycle of life.

How beautiful is that!!!

I image it’s hard to argue that we were all born to love. Yet, life delivers us experiences that are sometimes painful to feel. Relationships tend to bring up the most feeling; the pleasant and the painful. In an attempt to attract the feelings we desire and avoid those we do not, we learn a bunch of behaviors to navigate our emotional landscape. Whenever there is a ‘triggered’ feeling, we react with one of these behaviors; the amygdala’s fear response of fight, flight or freeze. Arising from fear, these reactions tend to be aggressive and harmful to ourselves and others.

On this Valentine’s Day, our connection challenge is to practice a new perspective and see how it feels. Hopefully it fits and you can carry the practice forward; making it part of your life view.

What if life is happening for us, not to us?

We all have dreams and desires. For them to become our reality, we must be intentional with our thoughts, words and actions to consciously create the life we desire.

Today’s Connection Challenge

Imagine that life is a game; an inherently meaningless realm where we get to create the meaning and hold it sacred. Allow it to become your guiding light; a north star that helps you navigate life and stay on the right path.

Now that your vision is clear and guided by meaning, it’s time to play the game of life. Let’s imagine that life is designed to conspire in our favor and help us win the game. Let’s assume life is all knowing and places experiences before us as guides so that we don’t stray from our path.

If you have a ‘winner’s mindset’, your greatest allies will be presence, surrender and flow. When we experience anything that ‘triggers’ or activates an emotional response from us, this is life playing its role in our little game. We are reminded that this experience is happening for us, not to us. In this way, we are able to receive the guidance from the messenger as a player in our game whose role is to keep us on the right path. They are to be blessed as our ally, even if the lesson and guidance feels uncomfortable.

We have mastered the game when we become ‘the meaning’ we created such that we can completely surrender to the game and allow life to magically unfold through us.

Imagine what becomes possible if we all lived life in this way!

On this Valentine’s Day, may will all commit to winning the game of life by becoming more loving in our thoughts, words and actions.

If feels like a road to nowhere, but maybe it’s everywhere. Or somewhere between nothing and everything. Maybe that’s why I tattooed ‘empty empty’ on the right foot and ‘happy happy’ on the left foot so many years ago. Maybe it’s a map.

Bliss lives in the void; the space between. Total silence…my mind rests. Nothing to do, only be. If only I could let go of my obsession with doing and simply rest in the here and now; awakening into a crucible of pure presence.

I love a good story. Especially when I’ve been blessed with so many incredible experiences that have inspired this glorious life journey. No wonder I love to write.

Here’s the thing…I’m getting really freaking tired of these old worn-out stories. As inspiring as they may have been for me, they are still just stories; snapshots and perspectives of moments in time. For so long, they filled my life with meaning. I held onto them like prized possessions and I allowed them to define me. The more I tell them, the more they hold me in a mental state that no longer feels valid.

Who am I if not my story?

I am nothing. And that just hasn’t sat right with my ego. So instead, I kept telling stories that validated my meticulously constructed identity. All in a futile attempt to lift my self-esteem. To prove to myself that I was enough. And when that didn’t work, I kept myself in perpetual motion to numb myself from the pain of feeling that I might not be enough.

When does the race end?

I can’t keep running like this. It’s futile, exhausting and actually dangerous. What if I just let go of all the stories? What if I am enough? What then? Can I just stop?

It feels like death.

Maybe it’s time to die; to allow that part of me to evolve into something new. To become The Fix, the phoenix, that metabolizes life and regenerates into something unknown.

How much do I trust?

If not in myself, in life itself. Can I allow myself to fall into the abyss of the unknown by simply choosing to believe that I am held by life? To trust that there is nothing more to do and nothing more to prove. That I am enough, simply by birthright.

Am I strong enough to remove the shackles of self-imposed limitation and surrender into the void of infinite possibility?

It’s time to write a new story; one that actually feels loving.

I shall begin, again.

I know this isn’t just my story, but it is my next book. The working title is Born to Surrender. This will be a collection of short stories of those brave souls that have embarked upon the courageous journey of fully surrendering to life and what becomes possible on the other side. The intention is for this book to offer inspiration and guidance to those ready to embark upon their Surrender Experience.

For those who would like to join us in Bali, Pure House offers programs to support you on your journey.

And if you or anyone you know has a story that you feel will inspire others, please reach out to me here about adding your story to the book.

the include stories fascinating journey of how we allow ourselves to release limitation so that we may become empowered beings fueled by infinite potential.

Oh, and if you haven’t read my first book yet, Born to Connect is a free download.

Which one comes first? Well, most will tell you that trust must be earned. My mom would say, ‘trust, but verify’. Seems logical, right? But look at where it’s got us as a humanity.

For as long as I can remember, I only saw the good in people; an eternal optimist blinded by the potential of humanity. I attribute this perspective to an early childhood brush with death that gave me a glimpse of the other side, which is only filled with the light of pure potential. An orientation to life formed within me that became obsessed with nurturing the highest possible version of ourselves, both within me and others.

I believe that we create people. They become what we think of them and thus, how we relate to them. It starts at birth. A name is given to us, as is our religion. The indoctrination of gender norms are assigned. Then all the dreams and ambitions of our parents and society are forced onto us. We are told to behave in certain ways and to disregard our emotions. Over time, we become a shell of a human; simply mimicking how we were instructed to be.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Of course none of this was intentional, which is exactly the issue at hand. Imagine what the world would look like if we created people intentionally. What if ‘trust’ was the starting point; the proverbial egg that comes before the chicken?

Easier said than done.

Trust is a decision. We always have a choice; even when it’s hard. In my experience, the true measure of our capacity to trust is always internal. It is impossible to trust in life or in another human if we don’t first trust in ourselves. Socrates said, to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom. It is the path to self-love, forming a foundation of trust and the capacity to live with intention.

Hindsight is 20/20.

When looking back, everything makes perfect sense. Facing death and experiencing its beauty offers this perspective. Everything is perfect, exactly as it is. From our limited perspective as humans it might be challenging to accept this in the face of genocides, human trafficking, honor killings and sadist acts that play out across Earth. As the Buddhists say, ‘suffering exists and there is a way out’. I think it’s fair to say that it’s part of our journey as humans to suffer. Without dark, how can there be light? Without sadness, how can their be joy?

Many proclaim to desire peace on Earth. But what if this peace can only arise from within? What if it is the egg? What if we cannot experience peace if we don’t already feel it in our bodies?

Wisdom lives in the body, not the mind.

We were born infinitely wise. It’s not something we learn, but rather unlearn. So how do we get it back?

We must release the judgement; the lifetime of conditioning from our parents and society that we have internally embedded into our consciousness. We are our own worst critic. While this might sound easier said than done, it’s actually quite simple. All we need to do is to start remembering how to feel again. To allow the emotions in once again, like when we were babies. All we wanted was love; because it’s our true nature.

Human conditioning has brought us to this point in our evolution. We have seen much progress in our condition as humans. Yet, the past does not predict the future. Due to our incredible capacity to condition ourselves, we have developed great technical innovations that allows us to be more connected as a humanity than ever before. This is fueling unprecedented change that is speeding up to the point of a constant.

We must develop dynamic stability.

To thrive in an uncertain world requires a new kind of intelligence; one that lives in the body. It is a return to wisdom. It is to become emotionally intelligent. It is the language of the senses…to allow ourselves to feel fully. We must release the resistance; the tendency to numb away the feeling. We have become afraid to feel, because sometimes it hurts. So instead we form addictions to numb the feeling. Our favorites seem to me smoking, drinking, drugs, ‘medication’, sugar, sex, shopping, and our new all time favorite…the adult pacifier…our phones and our addiction to social media. But the ‘not so funny’ thing is that all these behaviors are way more harmful and painful that simply feeling, so why do we choose to numb? Well, we don’t really, it’s simply a behavioral pattern to avoid painful experiences. We learned it unconsciously as an avoidance mechanism. But we aren’t that person anymore; we’ve grown up. Now, we have the capacity to consciously release these reactive behavioral patterns. Instead of choosing to numb with our favorite obsession, what if we simply allowed ourselves to go into the feeling and to let it burn through.

On the other side, there is always peace.

Imagine what the world would look like if we all became emotionally intelligent. We would develop the capacity to be with anything and everything that we experience in this life without the need to change it. That is power, full stop. It is an orientation to life that is unconditionally loving. It starts from within and radiates out. It is the end of suffering.

So, do you trust?

Ryan Fix is the founder of Pure Project, an institute dedicated to the study of human connection and the vision of a world where all humans thrive.

2021 will certainly go down in the history books for many reasons. Above all, as the year closes, it seems that humanity is slowly coming to accept that this pandemic is not going away for a very long time. It will only evolve, mutating as it moves from body to body. It seems the only way to stop it is 100% vaccination of all humans inhabiting Earth and that simply won’t happen. There are still simply too many of us living indigenous lifestyles outside of modern society, not to mention those fighting for their freedom of choice. As conspiracy theories run rampant, the global debate is polarizing humanity into tribes with viciously opposing views.

A revolution is upon us.

Irrespective of one’s views on this topic, one only needs to watch closely to what’s happening in the fallout from this pandemic to see what’s happening. It simply doesn’t matter how we got here, we are here and a battle is brewing. As presented in the ancient text The Art of War, applied successfully by Roman ruler Julius Cesar and French emperor Napoleon, the ultimate winning strategy has always been ‘divide and rule’. Interestingly though, it seems this battle is leaderless. It’s as if Adam Smith’s Invisible Hand is expressing itself again, but this time the many hands are fighting for their survival and seeking opportunity along the way. The medical industrial complex warns us of the dangers this virus presents. People are scared they and their loved ones might die, so naturally they want to protect themselves. Governments step in to protect their populations with vaccination programs and mobility restrictions. Pharmaceutical companies race to produce enough vaccines and booster shots for the entire human population. Media and communications platforms try their best to keep us informed. Every sector is undergoing massive transformation as businesses of all shapes and sizes struggle to survive.

Fear is to blame.

Survival is the rally call that unites and aligns the interests of individuals, organizations, companies and governments. Harm is real. This virus is killing lots of people and we must take action. But fear, that’s simply a ghost living in our minds and haunting us every moment of every day. We’re addicted to the drama; in love with the villain and the victim. It has taken occupation over our healthy minds, inducing incredible stress and inhibiting our ability to think clearly. Fear is actually keeping us from making true progress as a human race.

Have we lost our minds?

What if we’re acting like victims and choosing to be powerless? Blaming our circumstances and pointing fingers. What if we don’t really understand power? Almost all the expressions we seem to call power today are actually motivated by a need to control and dominate to protect one’s interests or validate one’s worth. This is not power; this is force. True power always comes from within and needs no external validation. Freedom only exists in the mind, nowhere else. Freedom is simply a choice; it has no circumstance.

Our addiction to money is killing us.

Money steals our freedom, turning us into slaves. Jailed by the need to show off our ‘freedom’ and express our ‘power’, we consume until we are gluttons. Zombies with mobile phones as pacifiers, we are the walking dead. Sounds harsh, huh? But can you really see that we’ve all been infected. You and me along with all the ‘very bad’ people running our governments and multinationals that we love to point fingers at daily. We are no different, except maybe the magnitude of our delusions. But it’s ok. We’re all in this together.

And that’s the point.

It is time to remember the truth of our humanness. We are one species among many inhabiting this planet. What separates us from the pack is the incredible power of our minds. In a hyper-connected digital world, our wires (brain waves) have gotten tangled and are now short circuiting to grand proportions. It’s no wonder why mental health issues are skyrocketing everywhere on the planet. We simply are a product of our environment; those that we allow in our presence, the food that we eat and the thoughts we choose to occupy our mind.

There is a way out.

Every single one of us is part of nature, not inseparable. When we accept that we are part of a greater whole, whether our beautiful planet Earth or the cosmos, we recognize that we are all connected and innately inseparable. When we harm others, we are not only hurting ourselves, we are harming all beings and Earth itself. This is not woo-woo, this is hard science. Our perception of separation is merely a mental projection created by our senses. We can feel our bodies, we can touch and smell one another, and we can see objects with our eyes. But all matter is simply energy in motion; hard science. Our perception of separation is merely an illusion.

It’s time to slow down.

In many ways, this is the blessing of this pandemic; teaching us to appreciate the simple things in life. The secret to a peaceful and harmonious life is contentment. To be grateful for everything we can sense and experience; the gift of life. To feel the perfection and wholeness of our lives. Trusting that every experience is happening for us and not to us. This is how we love ourselves unconditionally and that is the only form of true power. It is both transcendent and magnetizing. It will heal and it will attract all that serves our growth.

The new normal is natural.

It is a remembering of what truly matters…a healthy and balanced mind/body/soul connection, nurturing relationships & conscious connections with loved ones that foster our growth, a deeper connection with the natural world, a balanced and healthy diet that fuels our body to thrive as it is designed and an embodied experience of our connection to all life on Earth.

Trust is the gateway to liberation.

All fear dissolves when we place our attention in the present moment, as fear only exists in the mind’s memory of the past and its projection into the future. When we learn to become present, there is only peace. This experience allows the mind to rest in this moment. A feeling of trust emerges within us. As we surrender to the now, we begin to witness life’s perfection freely unfolding through us. Our relationships begin to flourish as this trust radiates into every interaction we allow ourselves to experience. Trust in ourselves, trust in life itself and trust in our relationships; a holy trinity cycling and expanding within us. We become powerful beyond belief.

Live your dream.

Don’t worry, it will come. Just keep focusing your attention in the present moment and listen closely to what emerges from the silent void of stillness, then allow it to unfold through you. Whatever emerges, it’s perfect. Follow the breadcrumbs and trust where they take you. Like a humble servant to life’s divine will, make it sacred. Stay sincere to your values and never abandon your integrity.

A world without strangers.

That’s my dream; bold and audacious, yet simple in daily application. Every interaction becomes an opportunity to foster a culture of connection. To move through life with a simple mission; to become more present in every moment and to give my full attention to every interaction. For I believe that it is these nurturing connections and the communities that form through them that become the root structure that connects us to life. This alone has the power to heal humanity.

And now the moment you’ve been waiting for…

2022 will bring us many tricks and treats; hopefully more of the latter. Here’s what to expect…

• Travel will begin to normalize as a global architecture for vaccination verification systems matures.
• Like influenza, the Corona virus is not going away anytime soon. Booster shots will become required to keep one’s vaccination record current, which will be required for future travel.
• A revolution will emerge to the forefront as those fighting for personal liberties, social justice and freedom of choice unite globally and amplify their ‘call to action’.
• Flying cars will start operating taxi shuttle services in regions with less restrictive regulatory frameworks.
• The convergence of online gaming, virtual reality, the metaverse and digital assets will reshape how we use the internet entirely. We will begin to see how virtual/augmented reality and IRL (in real life) interactions merge. Community facilitation within these online and hybrid interactions will be critical.
• Decentralized Finance (DeFi) will continue to disrupt the online banking sector, offering more efficient and cost effective ways to trade and transact between digital & fiat currencies, leverage digital assets to facilitate loans, and all kinds of payments.
• The rapid popularization of NFTs within arts & collectibles will expand into virtually every asset class imaginable, within both physical and virtual worlds. As a result of virtually every asset becoming digitized with smart contracts built on the blockchain, traditional institutions that serve as intermediaries of authentication will increasingly struggle to justify their very own value. This will ultimately lead to the crumbling of banking institutions, insurance companies, certification organizations just to name a few, but essentially every organization that serves as an intermediary between human interactions and value exchanges is quickly becoming obsolete.
• A location independent workforce, a rising freelance or gig economy, and the mainstreaming of entrepreneurship will entice more people to become digital nomads. People will naturally gravitate to locations that offer more freedom and a higher quality of life. With many nations seeking to take advantage of this seismic shift, we can expect to see an even more ethnically diverse and globalized world.
• Communications and logistics platforms will expand into more sectors, such as re-purposing and recycling of materials. Online messaging, delivery of goods, taxi and courier services, and payment gateways have led the innovation wave; with WeChat, Gojek and Grab leading the way in Asia.
• IOT (internet of things), automation, robotics and AI (artificial intelligence) will have a much greater impact on our lives as 5G networks expand around the planet. The convergence of these technologies will liberate human potential to a much greater degree, as all programmable jobs will no longer require humans.

Ok, that’s a wrap. Thanks for hanging in there and following this meandering flow of ideas. If you would like to continue the conversation, please check out pureproject.org.

Wishing you all a glorious, harmonious and prosperous 2022.