Happiness is something that everyone wants, life will be empty and meaningless without it. But how many of us unconsciously tried to achieve it in the wrong way?

It is undeniable that today more and more people do not know how to distinguish between what is good and what is bad by understanding the Shari’ah in Islam. The more time goes by, the more we are far from the truth.

So this time, I would love to share some things about happiness from the perspective of Islam, how to achieve it when you don’t feel happy with your life, and what to do or not to do when you are already happy.

But first, how are you doing right now?

I hope everyone is doing well. And if you’re not, remember that life is not always fair, but it won’t always be cruel and hard either. There are so many things in our life that could happen in a year, and even in a day. You could be laughing out loud with your friends in the afternoon, and feeling like you’re on the verge of a breakdown in the next hour. Or one day you may feel so hopeless about everything in life, but the cat that’s been looking for your attention can instantly calm and soothe your problems away.

Just remember that everything always happens for a reason which only Allah knows why. In Islam, happiness can be achieved easily if we ‘ridha bil qadha’, which means ‘contentment with the divine decree’. Trust Allah, be grateful to Him, and keep looking at the bright side of life. A true believer will always be at peace even in a state of failure and defeat because he knows, when everything has been decided by Allah for all His creations, why should he worry and complain?

“No misfortune ever befalls on earth, nor on yourselves but We have inscribed it in the Book before. We make it manifest. Surely that is easy for Allah. (We do so) that you may not grieve over the loss you suffer, nor exult over what He gave you. Allah does not love the vainglorious, the boastful”. (Al-Hadiid: 22–23)

“All things are from Allah.” (An-Nisaa: 78)

But these days, most people believe that one may find pleasure if they focus on pursuing material things, such as more wealth, fame, higher status, accomplishments, or beauty. It’s not totally right nor wrong.

The ‘Lucky People’s Trap’

Even if material things can’t buy you happiness, this could be a positive thing if they could motivate you. However, it could go 100% wrong if you believe that people who have more money and material possessions are happier than people who have limited resources. And it could also get thousand times worse when people who get happiness by material things, forgetting that every accomplishment and wealth we’ve gained are only a test from Allah. It’s scary how many people who seem happier by lots of material things, are often not aware of the term ‘istidraj’.

Do you ever feel like many people around you seem luckier and happier than you? Allah has given each of us different kinds of problems, and we often feel worse than others because most people (especially in social media) only want to let others see themselves in their best self. So, it’s completely normal to feel that, but you must never envy anyone who seems to be enjoying comfortable lives full of Allah’s blessings despite constantly sinning and living a life contrary to the Shari’ah.

“When you see that Allah Ta’ala gives a person (material) things of the worldly life which he desires whilst he remains persistent in sinning, then [know] that it is only Istidraj from Allah Ta’ala.” (At-Tabrani, Ahmad and Al-Baihaqi)

“There should be no envy except in two (cases): a man whom Allah has given (knowledge of) the Qur’an, and he recites it during the night and day, and a man whom Allah has given wealth, and he spends it during the night and day (in a rightful way).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The more we feel ungrateful with what Allah has given us and the harder we pursue pleasurable feelings without putting Allah first, the more likely we are going to suffer from anxiety and depression. Imagine having to handle such pain in this world, and getting heavy punishments in the Hereafter for the istidraj we keep underestimating all this time.

In conclusion, just be closer to Him

Lastly, I hope everyone that has read up to this point always remembers the fact that as a human being, our life’s necessities to live a good contentful life is actually quite simple. Everytime we feel exhausted and low on energy in our body, we just need to eat and drink to fill up our strength, right? And similar to that, whenever we feel tired and low in our soul, think again, isn’t it because we need to increase our remembrance of Allah?

We are only human after all. A very weak being that who else we can depend on when we feel the lowest in our life if it isn’t Allah Ash Shamad, He is the only one whom refuge is sought in times of adversity.

The more you entrust your heart to Allah, the wider your heart will be with happiness and peacefulness.

“Why is everyone’s life better than mine?”

You’re just seeing that their life is better than yours because it just seems like it. Life looks so easy on social media though the truth is everyone has their own insecurities. That’s why people often share achievements and good things about them to feel good about themselves.

Remember all the blessings He has given you

Envy is truly a sign of lack of gratitude. This act of minimizing blessing is one of the ways Shaytan do to bring us down emotionally and spiritually without us realizing it. Sometimes we forget that Allah has created us uniquely from each other, so why do we wish for the things which Allah has made some others to excel in? Why are we questioning Allah’s wisdom for giving things to other people and not us?

“And do not crave what Allah has given some of you over others. Men will be rewarded according to their deeds and women ˹equally˺ according to theirs. Rather, ask Allah for His bounties. Surely Allah has ˹perfect˺ knowledge of all things.” (An-Nisa: 32)

Blessings are gifts from Allah that can have nothing to do with how hard you work. Because some blessings can come since you were born, and some can be given as trials to let people choose how they do their life. Always keep in mind that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. In the end, happiness will come to those who appreciate the blessings they already have.

How to feel better

Any moslem will feel better when they remember that Allah has given us many favors that we couldn’t enumerate. And how Merciful He is in Qur’an Surah Ibrahim Chapter 7, that He even promised to increase our favors if we are grateful. So, if you’re starting to feel ungrateful to Allah, seek refuge in Him and never lose faith in His ability to help you.

However, life is not a “life” if there’s no new problem after you overcome your previous one. When we feel more relieved and stop comparing ourselves to others, inevitably at some point in our life somebody will come and start comparing you to others.

My experience and how I deal with it

Long story short, after being compared several times by different people and analyzing the patterns, I’ve come to a conclusion and here are my thoughts.

I realized that some of them were sincerely trying to encourage me, while the rest were actually the narrow-minded type who always think they’re the only one that is right and everyone else is always wrong. They are usually the type who are easy to judge others, frequently make negative comments, and quick to anger in any conflict with someone that has different opinions from them.

It’s as if everything that you’ve done, everything that made you who you are, is nothing in their eyes. And it’s definitely okay, because you won’t be able to please everyone (why should I?). And the good thing is, that there will also be people who appreciate you for who you are. Therefore, it’s important to identify narrow-minded people to lessen potentially toxic interactions with them in the future, and to keep closer with the ones who make you feel safe. It turns out that believing in these thoughts can relieve me every time I meet those types of people.

Conclusion

Whenever someone ever tries to compare you again, remember that what they’re trying to tell you is just based on their own belief of success. If they’re genuinely trying to encourage you and it aligns with your visions, take that as a motivation. Whereas, if they’re just keep doing that and make you feel worse instead, even when you already tried your best, don’t take it to heart. Just let them talk and end the conversation politely. Because arguing with someone who isn’t even interested in understanding someone’s point of view is totally pointless.

You’re the one who knows your own values, strengths and weaknesses.

You can decide what you want to be with all your countless great potentials.

In the end, success looks different for everyone. It is defined by who we are, what we believe in, and what we think the meaning of “successful” is.

A little tips from me

Breaking down large goals into smaller, more manageable steps, is the most optimal way to stay focused toward success. For me, being better everyday than my past self is a very good example of a small goal that I need to collect a lot in order to achieve my greatest achievement. And as a moslem, that greatest achievement is the time when our small goals in Dunya makes Allah decide to keep us away from the hellfire, and put us into heaven.

“Whoever is focused only on this world, Allah will confound his affairs and make him fear poverty constantly, and he will not get anything of this world except that which has been decreed for him. Whoever is focused on the Hereafter, Allah will settle his affairs for him and make him feel content with his loss, and his provision and worldly gains will undoubtedly come to him.”, said Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in Hadith on Zuhd of Sunan Ibn Majah 4105.

Have you thought about what kind of “successful life” you’ve been trying to reach all this time? Let’s try to connect that with the idea of succesful life of the Hereafter so that you can achieve true happiness in both of the Dunya and Hereafter.

I hope my stories can help you in some way. Thank you for reading one of Qurma’s thoughts on Medium!