IIt’s Just Beginning!

A few years ago, I wrote a piece about living with someone I couldn’t stand. Well, as of January 2026 that relationship has ended. He ended up going to the hospital with pneumonia and is still there. Poor Him? NOT. I was finally able to leave . It was tough . aI had limited funds, a new apartment that I had to move into and no one to help me. It was if the whole world had turned against me overnight . You see , for the last 4 1/2 years I took care of this man . He was bed bound. I showered him daily, dispensed his medication, gave him his insulin, cooked his meals , ran errands, made his Dr. appointments, set up transportation as needed. I devoted 24 hrs a day to him and none to myself. The nightmare was finally over. Some ask, Why did you stay and take care of man who not only treated you like crap but also one you weren’t married too? I was with him 2 yrs prior to his accident and I was raised to never kick someone when they’re down or at their weakest moments no matter what. Jesus never abandoned those who treated Him like crap so why shllould I? I have a huge heart and ai wear it in my sleeve. I’m humble, kind, I smile through pain , I get my strength through all the hurt and bullshit I’ve been through and I get my “ Keep moving forward attitude “ through my Faith. I often wonder if being this way is a curse and a blessing. I love that ai am a kind person , that I’m empathetic, humble, hard working, mentally and emotionally strong, but for The Love of Sampson I am tired.

I am tired of ignorant people, disgusted with those who harm others just for giggles, appalled at the fact that the people who hurt me just get to go on like nothing ever happened .Like when the fuck do they get their Karma. Well he sure got his and I dont feel bad about it.

I was put through immortal hell by this man , but I never allowed him to break me , to dampen my spirit and I was never a company to his misery. Everything he put me through made me stronger, more aware, more self loving more humble , more kind and more empathetic. I’ve become alot more over protective of my girls and have spoken to them in terms which they understand about this so it doesn’t happen to them and I hope it doesn’t. This has strengthened my Faith in God and for that I am grateful. I have become more in tune to my instincts if that makes sense. I always thought I was great at being able to read people until I developed a relationship with this person. He taught me that I was wrong and at the same time taught me what to look for next time , so yes now I am way more cautious and hopefully will be able to read better the next person if there is one.

I truly enjoy being single and spending every moment with my kids, making sure that they are happy, protected,loved , respected and grow up to be successful strong young men and women. That in a nutshell makes me happier than any relationship I could ever have with another person.

Thanks for reading

God Bless!

I wish I had five more minutes to say I love you, to hug you, hear your voice again.

I wish I had five more minutes just to sit with you and watch our favorite TV shows together.

I wish I had five more minutes to listen to your stories , ideas , to hear your advice , to laugh and cry with you.

I may not understand why you were taken from me so long ago at such a young age, and it is not for me to question, but I do wish I had five more minutes and just maybe it would make a difference.

Hold your loved ones in your hands like a diamond, keep them close to you and always, always , no matter what tell them how much you love them , because one day you may just wish that you had “ five more minutes”.

Rachel Thomas

I will never understand why you were so mean to me. How could you be?

I will never understand how someone could be so hateful to others . How could you be?

I will never understand all the hurtful words you said to me or why you said them .

I will never understand and honestly I don’t want to !!!

Three and a half years of my life wasted on you . I hoped, I tried, I prayed , I believed , but the truth is , it was all a lie. I knew in my heart you would never change and for that reason I had to say goodbye.

I will hurt no more, cry no more be sad no more. I will look ahead with a smile and know that God has me in his hands and will guide me wherever I need to go . Because of you I have no friends and feel all alone in this big old world , however I know as long as God is with me I am never truly alone!!

I had to get these thoughts off my chest. Thanks for reading!!

Rachel Thomashefsky 🙂

I was born in the Northeast. I was raised in the SouthEast in a little town named Lexington, North Carolina. I had white friends, black friends, Asian friends, Cambodian friends, Mexican friends. I didn’t see color nor did I care too. I was raised by a mother who loved all people and who had the biggest heart a person could have. That was over 25 years ago. I moved back to Pennsylvania a little over 25 years ago. Boy oh boy, talk about culture shock. Never, had I ever been exposed to such racism, prejudice, hate, cruelty, entitlement, etc… the list goes on and on…. Until I moved up north. It sickens me to think that racism was nearly non existent when I was younger compared to what it is now. Or maybe I just didn’t realize it even existed then. You didn’t hear people talk bout other people , the color of their skin, where they were from like you do now. It’s down right disgusting. I mean, in all honesty , hate starts at home. We are not born with hate, we are not born to see color, we are not born to be entitled, we are taught all these things at home or not taught them. I knew there was a difference in skin color growing up, but I didn’t care because if you were my friend you were my friend. I loved all people. Why can’t people just stop with the hate? I have heard that question so many times , and I , too have asked that same question. However, in order to change ones thought process they must want to change themselves. I truly believe those who hate, who spew racism, prejudice, entitlement, etc… are truly ignorant, uneducated people who lack basic common sense , morality, they lack the ability to make conscious decisions. It’s quite sad , however, I choose to be better than those people. I choose to be a better human being. Someone who loves without conditions, who sees beauty in the other person, who helps even when not asked to, I am someone who wants to put a smile on a strangers face. I don’t know their story or their battle, and even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. “Treat others the way you would want to be treated" . I have instilled that in my children and I know they will instill it in theirs. Now, I’m not saying to be a doormat, to allow someone to walk all over you, to out your guard down, trut is earned, respect is earned , kindness is free to give to everyone. Know your boundaries, keep yourself safe, respect yourself and love yourself and when you do , it will be easy for you to show that same level of love, respect , humility and trust to others. I don’t judge anyone . I have been homeless , I know what it’s like, and when I see a homeless person you damn sure better believe I’m first in line to give them food, water , clothing. I wish I could do more for them. I struggle with mental illness, depression, anxiety, PTSD. I have four children. I am an overprotective parent. And I will always be that way. I advocate for the safety of children, I advocate for mental illness and those struggling with it, I advocate for domestic violence victims as I am one myself. And because of what I’ve been through it the exact reason I need to be the voice for those who don’t have one. I advocate for the LGBTQ community. My best friends are homosexual and I love them dearly. It’s what you got through in life that humbles you. And if what you go through doesn’t humble you and make you a better person, well, I just have now words.

Be humble, be proud, be happy, love one another, love yourself, respect yourself , help others when you can, Don’t judge, and please stop hating.

God bless ,

Rachel

As I sit here admiring the beautiful weather, the birds chirping, the sun beating down, I wonder what it’s like up there for you?

Do you have nice weather? Do you think of me? Do you laugh, smile, cry, pray? I miss you , but I know you are in a better place. Your pain you suffered here is over, but selfishly I wish you were still here. Could I have done more to take your pain away? Could I have helped you live longer? I cry often, I laugh alot, I smile and tear up when I look at your picture. My children, your grand children never got to meet you, oh.. how I wish they would have. They know of you through pictures and stories . I remember your laugh, I remember your voice, I hear you call my name every once in awhile. I know it’s been almost 25 years since you left me, but I need you now more than ever. Sitting here writing this through tears, trying to keep it together. It’s so hard sometimes . I feel as though I was robbed . You were taken from me at such a young age and for what? Why? Those answers I may never get, I know that, however, I have come to leave with the fact of how you were taken, Cancer You Suck!!!! I want you to know that I love you, I miss you more than ever, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you or talk about you. And as I promised your grand children will never forget about you nor will I.

I know that one day I will see you and my brother again. I just hope I’m making you proud . I hope that when you look down and see me that you smile . Show them your laugh, your heart and your smile up there momma…. And I’ll always cary those memories with me. …

Love always,

Your daughter,

Rachel

Hello all. For those of you that read part one this is part two. For those of you who have not read part one please click on my link to find it. Here it goes:

I have decided to never, ever use a dating app to meet someone ever again. I don’t think they work. Yes, I know, some of you may say , just because it happened once doesn’t mean you’ll meet another asshole again and all dating apps are t bad. Well, that may be true , but honestly, I am not getting any younger and just want to be single and enjoy my life with my children. If I meet someone along the way, then so be it. But I am honestly content with my decision. As far as the low-life scumbag, narcissistic, sociopath that I am with, I have come up with a plan to leave after the holidays without him knowing and I will cut all ties with him including having a restraining order issued. Thanks to everyone for their advice and support. I appreciate each and everyone of you. May you all have a very Happy Holiday and a very safe and Happy New Year. I will be writing more on here, not such personal things. Some of my own writings and I hope you all will follow along with me in my journey. Blessed Be to you all

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/crew/just-launched-qr-codes-page

I was told today that I would never amount to anything. I was called a loser, a fat ass, and he also called me the “N" word. I can not wait to get away from him. I have never , ever in my life hated , despised and resented someone as much as I do him. It’s easy to say “ Well, just leave “but there is more to it than that . Believe me, the first chance I get I am outta there. Karma will get him . I know hating someone is wrong , but this is only a part of the story. There is more to come and then you will understand why my hate and resentment runs so deep.

Thanks for reading, until next time,

Rachel

My story is quite out of the ordinary. I met a guy online about three years ago and fell completely head- over- heels in love with him. I moved to his state to be with him , and come to find out he wasn’t single after all. Yes, we are together now , however, it’s been quite a ride and a hellish one at that. I am not happy and have not been happy for a while now. He is a narcissist, and I wish I knew then what I know now. I am ready to leave , And as soon as I find a place I am outta here. However, I will have to be careful and do it without him knowing because he is dangerous. I am not scared of him by any means,but I will be cautious .

More to come , stay tuned for part 2. And thanks for reading !

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/crew/just-launched-qr-codes-page