One minute, life is going swimmingly. And the next, we’re drowning at the deep end. Endless plans. Social media. Work. Exercise. Maintaining relationships. Shopping. The busyness of life becomes too much to handle, and we become overwhelmed.

And often, we don’t understand why. Why would you find meeting a friend for tea overwhelming? It’s not like you have the busiest life ever. It’s not like you’re not friends. It’s not like you don’t like tea.

This feeling can be particularly prominent in someone who has anxiety, where the mind is naturally busy. But we can all feel it from time to time, and if we don’t learn how to manage it, it can take over our life.

I’ve split this article into two parts: 1) how to recognise the overwhelmed state, so you know if you are entering, or may already be in one, and 2) 6 ways to help you out of it, and avoid it in future.

Characteristics of being overwhelmed

It can be a tricky feeling to identify because it manifests itself in different ways for everyone. I’m going to delve into some of these elements now.

Lack of perspective

Often, we fail to see the bigger picture, judging things as more important than they are, which consequently take up more time and space in our minds than is necessary.

You have an important call with your manager at 12:00. Are you able to schedule anything else that morning?

You forgot to reply to that Insta DM from 1 month ago! Better do that right away.

Our inability to calculate the value of doing things (or not doing them) leads to higher levels of stress. And the social isolation that we all find ourselves in certainly doesn’t help. We lack others’ perspectives and support with problems and spend more time focusing inwards not outwards which leads to rumination.

“The world is more demanding when we’re alone because anything that the world demands of us when we’re alone, we have to do by ourselves.” James Coan, Professor of Clinical Psychology

Certain characteristics:

• Imagining catastrophic outcomes from minor events
• Feeling emotional distress at small tasks
• Failing to make decisions
• Being unable to prioritise
• Inertia

Perceived lack of time

Everybody tends to vastly overestimate their commitments each week, and we overcalculate the time it takes to do things. So instead of being able to organise your day into well-allocated time slots, you struggle to fit more than a few activities in.

Certain characteristics:

• Rushing when eating, walking, thinking, working
• Focusing on outcome over the journey
• Busy brain just before bed, thinking about all the things that need to be done in the morning
• Sleeping badly

Being self-critical

We can be unsure if we deserve nice things in life, fail to act with our best interests at heart, and self-punishing.

Certain characteristics:

• Having negative self-thoughts
• Worrying we’re on the wrong path or failing at life
• Feeling worthless
• Second-guessing ourselves
• Striving for perfectionism

Over caring what others think

It’s in our evolutionary best interests to care what others think, as group approval and inclusion may have meant the difference between life and getting eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger. However the shift from survival needs to social imperatives is now a great driver of anxiety, lack of self-acceptance, and ultimately living our lives the way we don’t want to.

We place way too much emphasis on a) the importance of other people’s judgements, and b) how much our behaviour affects other people.

Certain characteristics:

• Worrying about others’ thoughts
• Saying yes to things we don’t want to do

Being overwhelmed is a vicious cycle. The more you feel it, the less you can find the energy and mental headspace to do the things that will inevitably make you feel better.

6 things to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed

1. Organise your week

First off, buy a physical diary. This is going to be your tool to help you organise your week, focus on things that really matter, and do more with your time.

Implement good routines. What works for me:

• Waking up at 7 am
• Starting with exercise
• Getting into the flow state
• Doing something meaningful before work (I write, talk to someone I love)
• Connecting with myself throughout the day (I journal, go for a walk, meditate, or simply sit still)
• Turning my phone off during work hours
• Limiting social media

Align your week towards your values. Ask yourself: “What do I really care about? Why am I on this earth? What am I happiest spending my time doing? What motivates me? When I’m on my deathbed, what would I look back on and be proud that I spent my life doing? What do I believe strongly in?”

Once you’ve set your values, make sure everything in your week contributes towards at least one of them. If it doesn’t, remove it from your diary, and remove it from your life.

Have lots of “free time”, “me time”, “calm time”. Particularly on days you might have had heavy social interaction, like a dinner party, or a long zoom call. Book a few hours, or however long you need, to do something that brings you calm.

Limit commitments. Of course, we all have some things we have to do: making dinner, walking the dog, etc. But if avoidable commitments, e.g. social activities, are making you feel overwhelmed, stop them for a while. The people that really matter will understand.

Reflect back on a Sunday evening. What worked? What didn’t? And make a new schedule for the upcoming week.

You could take inspiration from these week structures: Liz Huber: How to Plan your Week the Right Way, The Da Vinci Schedule.

2. Practice self-compassion

This means treating ourselves kindly and with patience — how you might with a good friend. It can often make people feel uncomfortable, and therefore it’s an art that must be practised.

Some things you can do:

• Say kind things to yourself, like “You are loved”
• Put your hand over your heart
• Ask for a hug from someone close to you
• Cry
• Write a list of the things you like about yourself and why you’re proud
• Practice self-care — take a bath, have a massage, rub essential oils on
• Know that it’s ok to seek help. It could be from a friend, parent, therapist. Acknowledging you need help and asking for it is a very strong skill indeed.
• Look after and respect your future self…

“If you can’t do a nice thing for you, could you possibly do a nice thing for her? That mysterious and blameless stranger will someday have to live in the world you’re creating for her today. In other words, you’re the one making the bed, but she’s the one who’ll be lying in it. So be nice to her today. Be nice to her every day.” Elizabeth Gilbert

This podcast is one of my absolute favourites, teaching self-compassion exercises you can practice at home. I listen to it repeatedly when I’m having a down day and need some care!

3. Do yoga

Yoga has changed my life. It is now one of my most effective tools to manage my anxiety and the busyness of life, acting as my stability and place of quiet when everything else is moving at a million miles an hour. Yoga brings:

Calm
It’s a great de-stressor. The breathing techniques help to relax the body’s nervous system and help the lungs become more efficient with moving oxygen around the body. Plus exercise releases endorphins which make us happy and reduce anxiety.

Clarity
It clears the mind. You place focus on the present moment and detach from thoughts, which helps to put life, problems and time into perspective.

Connection
It brings people close. Everyone moves, breathes, meditates, learns, lives, and gives gratitude as one, deeply connecting you all on a level that requires no words. It reminds us that we’re never alone, and there’s a life beyond our own mental challenges.

And you can connect to yourself, as slowly but surely the mind moves from avidya (wrong understanding) to kaivalyam (liberation). Or in non-yogi terms — you stop, listen, recognise how you feel, and understand who you really are and what you want.

Comfort
Yoga is a safe space. Whether you do it on your own or with others, the yoga mat is an environment of complete understanding and zero judgement.

Challenge
Yoga is a kind way to gently push yourself. It can give you that sense of achievement you may be missing. Maybe one day you straighten that leg a little more, try a bind, or put your knees up not knees down. And sometimes, it can just be showing up. And that’s fab too.

4. Speak to someone who makes you feel safe and unjudged

You know who they are. The ones who lift your heart, who are there for you when you ask and when you don’t, who would drop everything to run and give you a hug. These people know you better than you know yourself, and can help give you perspective on your life, set your priorities straight, and ground you.

I ring my mum or my sister, who both understand my dreams, worries, and challenges, and cheer me up when I’m having a wobble.

So when that time comes that you can’t cope… meet, phone, zoom, whatever, one of these people who can bring you back down to earth.

“A problem shared is a problem halved.” Ancient and very wise proverb

5. Learn how to say no

Often, we say yes and end up doing things we don’t want to do. Not only does this take up our time, but may mean we spend it in areas that don’t align with our values. A large part of this comes from our desire to please others — we want to be liked, or we feel that we owe them something.

The best way to say no in a business context? According to Byron Katie, a world-class-saying-no expert, it goes like this: “Thank you. And no”. It’s important to start off by acknowledging the offer with respect. Then, avoid the word “But”, which can be offputting. And lastly, do not provide a reason, so the other person has no weapon by which to come back at you and fight their case.

I know what you’re thinking: “I can’t just say no to my boss, they’ll fire me / not promote me / hate me.” But actually, by saying no, you’re setting up boundaries and gaining respect which is going to lead to the total opposite.

Of course, things are different in a personal context. If a friend invites you for tea, and you can’t go because you are overwhelmed, you may want to provide a clear and respectful reason why not. One thing that helps me do this is by seeing every “No” as an opportunity to be honest with someone, and being grateful for that opportunity. You may lose people along the way, but you know the ones who stay are worth it.

“A “No” uttered from the deepest conviction is better and greater than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” Ghandi

6. Tidy

Tidying is one of those things that my mum used to tell me: “You’ll enjoy it when you get a bit older”, and I would scoff in disbelief. Quite like many aspects of my life, my mum was absolutely right. How does it help?

Messiness is distracting, overstimulating, anxiety-causing, and time-wasting. Plus, organised environments allow you to examine, challenge, and change your inner state.

“It is essential to create a quiet space in which to evaluate the things in your life.” Marie Kondo

Reorganising sparks change, which is key to becoming aware and shifting our mindset. Small changes remind us that bigger changes are possible at any time in our lives.

It shows us we care about our home, our life, and ourselves, keeping motivation and stability.

It’s a job well done and could bring you a sense of accomplishment at times when you worry you’re not “achieving” much else. I clean the bath, reorganise the bookshelf, water the plants. And remind myself that if it weren’t for me, those plants would be dead.

Navigating the busyness of life can be hard, so be patient and kind with yourself. Start small and take pride in every single step you make along your wild and precious journey.

6 Tips for When Life Gets Overwhelming was originally published in Invisible Illness on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Glorious, flowering cherry blossom tree.
At whose sturdy trunk we’d play, you and me,
enshrouded in soft, pink, fallen marvel.
Joyous teens! We were young, and wild, and free.

Sweet, rippling laughs, as you photographed me,
dressed me up, and told me I looked pretty.
Not a care in our sunlit world, except
feeding our need for curiosity.

Our new kittens joined in fun on the grass.
We chatted about boys and science class.
We discovered life through pure wondrous chance.
No worries of future, regret of past.

How you and I have bloomed since those fine days.
You found happiness, and I found my way.
You’re getting married, I’m getting a job.
Did I ever tell you the part you played?

One cat’s left — perky-eared, but lost an eye.
We discuss deeper meanings, analyse,
and uncover truths. The present moment’s
often far. You still tell me I look nice.

We observe life through a different lens,
where purpose and results preside. But friend,
how blessed we are to have each other here
as cues to live with constant play again.

What adventures are next on our journey?
Let’s go bananas this side of thirty.
What I do know is when I reach eighty,
I want you to tell me I am pretty.

As we enter this era together,
we must remember we’ve just one sister.
I hope you know to me you are treasure,
my family, friend, precious, forever.

While summer, autumn, winter it may be,
every spring those bright pink flowers we’ll see — 
reminding us, come what be, we’ll always
have you, me, and the cherry blossom tree.

Sisterhood was originally published in Poetry in Form on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Usually, I pick up the phone and laugh
so hard my nose nearly splits in half.
Not always sure what the jokes are about,
but we always smile and giggles come out.

But that day I picked up the phone and cried.
Not sure why, I was sad inside.
But dearest mum, you’re always there,
and you gave the emotion a big fat scare.

And soon the laugh was back on my face,
and all those tears were quickly replaced
with happiness and inspiration once more.
So long sorrow, you can leave through the door.

While life isn’t always peaches and flowers,
sometimes there is mud, sometimes there are showers,
you’re my bright red rose among it all,
during winter, spring, summer, and fall.

You’re the reason I am where I am today,
when you tell me I can be whatever I say,
when you tell me I make you happy and proud.
So I thought it best I say it aloud.

If ever you need me to scare off your sorrow,
don’t leave our phone call until tomorrow.
I hope, by now, you get the gist.
And remember, you’ll always be top of my list.

A Tribute to My Mum was originally published in Being Known on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Let’s take a moment to contemplate you. You, in all of your glory. You, right here, right now, on this planet.

Dr. Ali Binazir (Harvard professor) calculated the probability of you existing at all on the odds of several factors: your parents meeting, them navigating love long enough to have a child, your ancestors doing the same, and more. He predicted that it’s 1 in 10 to the power of 2,685,000 (10 followed by 2,685,000 zeroes). Basically 0.

In short, you are a miracle.

And let’s take another moment to savour that. Really, the luck of you being alive. That feeling you’re feeling right now, is gratitude.

Now let’s take one final moment to contemplate how often you feel that emotion. Rarely? Sometimes? Weekly? Daily? Imagine you could muster that feeling at any given moment in your life, harness it to overcome any life challenge, and live feeling perpetually contented and fulfilled. Wouldn’t that just be incredible? Well, I’m happy to tell you that it’s totally achievable. Even when life gets really tough.

This is not about being happy and positive in every moment. We all need time to feel pain. For into every life some rain must fall. This is about coping better with that pain; appreciating we have a cup, even when it’s half empty; seeing opportunity in the face of misery. Because after the rain, comes a rainbow.

It would not be an overstatement to tell you that practising gratitude saved me during my darkest times.

Not convinced?

Well, fortunately, you don’t have to just take it from me.

The Power of Gratitude

There’s an inordinate amount of research that’s been done by people a lot smarter than I am into the benefits of gratitude.

If someone was to ask “How are you?”, you may reply more than just “Fine”, because actually you see your life as pretty damn great!

We’re living in a particularly challenging time right now, where we’re all having to cope with emotions and situations we’d never even dreamt of before. And many of us don’t have the knowledge or mechanisms to cope.

Mental health disorders are on the rise, along with stress, relationship breakdown, levels of violence, pessimism, and an overall feeling of being sad.

Here’s where practicing gratitude comes in.

It can help us build resilience, combat stress, and overcome trauma. It can also improve our mental health, including reducing anxiety, PTSD, and depressive symptoms and suicidal ideation.

You and your partner bickering after spending so long in each other’s pockets? Expressing gratitude can help strengthen relationships, by improving trust and communication, and leading to a more positive attitude towards each other.

Missing social connection and making friends? Gratitude can help form new relationships, via the friendliness and interpersonal warmth you demonstrate when you express it.

Feeling stagnant and worried that your life isn’t going anywhere? It can bring you higher feelings of self-fulfillment and confidence.

And if someone was to ask “How are you?”, you may reply more than just “Fine”, because actually you see your life as pretty damn great!

I’d say this is an investment of time worth making. Future you will thank you.

But like everything worth having, it’s not going to come easy.

Why We are Hardwired to be Ungrateful

Let’s be honest, sometimes life is crap. Maybe you can’t see your family due to COVID restrictions, someone close to you is ill, or maybe you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatever it is, it’s in those moments that we usually struggle to see positives.

We have to make a considerable and conscious effort to look at our past and current life with positivity, and therefore predict a positive future.

Our human brains are evolutionary designed to help us survive. We’re constantly anticipating ‘danger’ in the form of what’s wrong in our lives, so you can fight it or flight it. Moreover, we’re victims to negativity bias, meaning that negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones, even when they are of equal intensity. So we’re more likely to spend time dwelling on negative over positive experiences.

Picture yourself having a great day at work. Then out of nowhere one of your colleagues gives you harsh feedback on a project. The experience lasts 5 minutes, but you can’t get it out of your head. You finish work, meet a friend, and they ask you: “How was your day?” Do you find yourself saying: “It was good, but…” ?

What all of this means is that we have to make a considerable and conscious effort to look at our past and current life with positivity, and therefore predict a positive future.

The good news: we can actually rewire our brains. Deepak Chopra (one of the world’s leading well-being gurus) advocates that with 5–10 minutes daily practice over 1 month, we can form a new habit.

So becoming grateful will require work, but with enough practice, it can be done. And we know it’s worth doing. How do we do it?

5 Daily Gratitude Practices

1. Remind yourself of life’s impermanence

Remember the year that YOLO exploded? The expression short for ‘You only live once’, which justified each and every decision of that time, no matter how ridiculous. Staying out until the club closed when you had an exam in the morning; buying that dress you couldn’t afford; jumping in the sea in the middle of an English winter (true story!) Perhaps not the wisest decisions, but we certainly took advantage of each and every moment, with this constant reminder that life should be treasured.

I found two pieces of literature which changed everything. For the first time in my life, I became conscious of how finite time really is.

We don’t really like thinking about death, particularly in Western cultures. Yes it’s quite fun to binge on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, when death is far enough removed from ourselves that it’s interesting rather than frightening. But when’s the last time you were asked: “So, death. Thoughts?” For much of our lives, we opt to ignore death due to our strong desire to go on living. Strange really, as death is one of the only certain things in life.

But what if we stop ignoring it, and start using it?

Remembering death helps us to appreciate and live in the present moment — the other thing in life we can be certain of. And focusing on the present moment is an awesome way to cultivate gratitude.

The Stoics used the concept of ‘memento mori’ (remember that you must die) as their main driver in life, to treat every day as a gift, and not waste time on the trivial. Similarly, many east Asian countries view death as a necessity for enjoying life, in line with their culture of Yin and Yang (“good” and “bad” coexisting in all aspects of life).

“Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility.” Susan David

When I was 27, I was stuck in a rut — living, but not loving, life. I had little motivation to change my life, with a well-paid job, surrounded by loving friends and family. I was comfortable. But deep down, comfort was not what I was seeking. I needed a challenge, and I needed the motivation to make it happen. Then I found two pieces of literature which changed everything. For the first time in my life, I became conscious of how finite time really is. Within a few months, I’d quit my job, changed careers, and moved to a beautiful new city. Loving life once again.

Here are those pieces with my favourite quotes. I encourage you to read/listen to the whole thing, and I hope they inspire you too.

i) Mary Oliver’s Poem: The Summer Day

ii) Steve Jobs’ Stanford Commencement Speech

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

I regularly come back to both of these to remind myself how far I’ve come.

Which leads me on to practice number 2…

2. Focus on the gain, not the gap

This concept, designed by Dan Sullivan, explains that many people live in the gap — they always see what’s missing. They focus on what’s left to achieve in their future, rather than the successes of their past.

But where we really want to live is in the gain. One strategy to shift your mind is to measure yourself against where you were before, rather than where you want to be. You aimed to run 5km today, but only managed 4. Well, what were you running 1 month ago? Look at that progress! You can also set yourself a challenge to actively think about what you gain from every “negative” experience you have, rather than what is lost. If we can reframe every moment like this, we see only positives.

Another technique is to spend some time thinking about your past. Don’t live in it — it can either be a treasure box or Pandora’s, depending on your key. But by thinking about happy memories, rather than the future’s unknown, you have access to an unlimited amount of gratitude.

In short, you are a miracle.

Every single moment has a gain. Of course, these can be accomplishments like having a baby, getting promoted, running a marathon. Or it could be surviving 2020, having dinner cooked for you, or existing at all (and remember how monumental that is).

3. Negative visualisation

Heads up: this is probably not one for you if you are an anxious person.

Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love, ted talker, and generally all-round wonder woman) was in love with her friend for many years, while married to her husband — a fact she was unwilling to admit to anyone but herself. Until they discovered her friend had cancer.

“I got a phone call from her saying that she’d gotten this diagnosis, and that they said she had six months to live. And from that point forward it was no longer possible for me to keep that love hidden.” Elizabeth Gilbert

The emotions we feel when something is about to be taken away from us forever are extremely powerful. Overwhelming appreciation, mixed with regret at taking it for granted when we had it. How can we learn to appreciate these things every day, before they’re gone?

Negative visualisation. It’s another stoic principle, which involves imagining losing things in your life forever. You don’t need to spend so much time on this that it leads to worry — a few moments when you are perhaps feeling frustrated with something. It could be the rainy city you live in, your eyesight that’s getting worse, or your friend who’s let you down. I’m willing to bet you’ll feel an enormous, unexpected wave of thankfulness that that thing is in your life, and you wouldn’t want to live without it. If you don’t, I guess you know it’s time for change.

4. Look outward, not inward

As humans, we like to focus on self. This is why we take things personally, think people are talking about us, or get peeved when our friend hasn’t WhatsAppd for a whole month. We sometimes become so focused on ourselves, that we forget there are other people’s feelings, thoughts, and lives happening.

We’re more likely to feel grateful if we focus and feel empathy towards others, rather than getting caught up in our own thoughts and feelings.

And unfortunately, our current increased social isolation only makes matters worse. There’s less people to focus our attention to, less likelihood of being able to physically see what people are going through, and much more time to sit in our own heads. Yes, self-focus is wonderful in many ways: deep concentration, self-exploration, awareness, and growth. But you also need to stay aware of the wider world if you want to cultivate gratitude.

“Gratitude results from a two-step cognitive process: (a) recognizing that one has obtained a positive outcome, and (b) recognizing that there is an external source for this positive outcome.” Emmons & McCullough (Harvard professors and gratitude legends)

So we rely on others to feel grateful. And we’re more likely to feel grateful if we focus and feel empathy towards others, rather than getting caught up in our own thoughts and feelings.

Buddhism teaches us that one of the reasons we suffer (Dukkha) is because we focus on the “self” — our wants, desires and needs. And it’s only through giving up our concept of “self” (Anatta), that we can break the cycle of suffering in life, and lead to an everlasting place of peace (Nirvana).

Here’s some tips to prioritise others. Give them a go the next time you’re having a down day:

• Reach out to 3 people and ask how they’re doing.
• Do a random act of kindness. Kindness can promote gratitude, plus relieve anxiety and depression.
• Write down 3 things that other people have done that have angered you, write “I forgive you”, and take that opportunity to let it go.
• Write an extensive gratitude list. Don’t know how? Read on to tip number 5!

5. Write a list, and share your gratitude

Step 1: Write a list
We all live busy lives, so the idea is to make this a simple and fast habit, that you can fit into your daily routine. Not so overwhelming that it causes you stress and you back out after day one.

I make my list just before bed, and it generally takes max 5 minutes.

And experiment with what makes you feel good.

Personally, I write down 3 things every day that I’m grateful for, with some detail into why. Yesterday, I was grateful for the bus driver who made a conscious effort to wait for me at the bus stop while I ran in the rain with no umbrella, late for my appointment. He might not have seen me, he might not have waited. But a mixture of luck and kindness meant I didn’t have to spend the next few hours wet and cold.

I make my list just before bed, and it generally takes max 5 minutes. Then, once every few weeks, I spend time reflecting back over the list, and writing a longer one in more detail. I come back to it when I’m feeling sad, in pain, lonely, or just want to remind myself how special life is.

Things to play around with:

• Having a mix of people, items, experiences, etc.
• Asking yourself different questions: What made me feel safe and unjudged? What inspired me? What reminded me of my family? You will probably find you discover you’re grateful for things you never even realised!
• Thinking of different things each day
• Remembering events from your past
• Including the things that seem ‘small’ (my sofa cushion regularly makes my list, as it brings me comfort in my favourite writing spot)
• Sticking lists up in the house — perhaps where you typically feel stressed, anxious or sad. The fridge or your working space are good ones.
• Taking it one step a time, and forgiving yourself if you miss a day or two.

Step 2: Share your gratitude
We know that we need others to feel grateful. And sharing gratitude has been shown to have benefits on wellbeing, physical health, and happiness.

You can express gratitude in a number of ways. Share it with people on your list — it could be someone who has made you feel loved, challenged, respected, inspired, happy, changed your life, or been there for you. It could be sending a gift in the post to someone you love. It could be simply saying thank you.

Who doesn’t appreciate knowing they changed someone’s life for the better? Imagine that. I know that would make my day. And likely my list for that day. And the cycle of gratitude continues.

If you are ever struggling to find gratitude in your life, or are having a particularly bad moment, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and feel it beating. Breathe in, breathe out. You have your heart, you have your breath, and you have life. And for those, you are blessed.

A Deeper Dive into Gratitude was originally published in Mind Cafe on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There’s this park in Barcelona. It does not appear to be particularly “special”. It’s fairly small and noisy, as it’s situated next to a main intersection. And what is most extraordinary is that we’re not allowed on the grassy area in the middle.

With picnics out of the question, everyone strolls/runs/cycles the dusty half-pathed, half-stony walkway round the outside, lined with potholes and other such obstructions, making it somewhat of an obstacle course.

This park is a six-minute walk from where I used to live, and in the middle of my old route to work. However, I always tried my best to avoid it, as it got on my nerves that there was no direct way through to my house, so the main road was a much more efficient option to get from A to B.

Back in May last year, after seven weeks of house lockdown when we were finally allowed out for exercise, I sought a place to explore. As my energy levels were pretty low while still recovering from Covid-19, I needed a place close by my home, ideally with some greenery. The most convenient place was said park. I was pretty disappointed at this option; I thought it boring, uninspirational, and too small to enjoy. I was used to the fun adventures of a hike or the beach.

I made my way to the park, unenthused, although still happy to be out of the house at all. I was pretty overwhelmed when I got there as it was the first place I’d been in 7 weeks with a decent amount of people, yet there was a vibe of contentment and understanding at each other’s company.

I caught people’s eyes, and although the masks never revealed the truth, I know they were smiling just as much as I was.

The days passed, and my dissatisfaction started to dissipate. Yoga was healing me back to health, and I’d found a perfect spot for it in the park on a flat platform, with just the right amount of quietness needed to get in the flow, and busyness to fulfil my cravings for human interaction. Afterwards, I would lie on my mat and watch the birds.

It reminded me that nature was still there, still thriving and that the world was so much more than this time and this moment.

The weeks passed; I still couldn’t travel too far from my house, and I became very fond of this park. Its smallness became a charm. I could sit undisturbed for hours, take in every bit of my surroundings, and appreciate the things that previously would have gone unnoticed. Its simplicity was comforting, as I knew what to expect, and there were no surprises; quite unlike the rest of life, where from one day to the next we didn’t know if we should be Covid quarantining for 10 or 14 days, if we’d have to use kitchen roll instead of toilet roll due to short supply, or if another stint of crushing lockdown was upon us.

I often bumped into people I hadn’t seen in months. What happiness seeing old faces brought me!

I found myself coming every day to the same spot, watching myself heal and grow.

Many, many months have passed, and since I’ve moved, I now go out of my way to visit my park, as force has turned to choice. And as I lie right now on a park sun-lounger, I watch the birds frolic on the unspoiled grass, and feel grateful for my special place of comfort and tranquility.

In response to Being Known’s Monthly Writing prompt: gratitude & presence. Original invitation below:

Grateful Presence

My Special Place was originally published in Being Known on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

It’s raining today.
But I have a coat,
so I’m going out anyway.

My feet are getting wet.
I look down, smile, and hope
I never forget

how lucky I am to see the drops fall,
to witness exquisite nature,
to even be here at all.

In this moment, so special.
No past, future, only now.
Small, yet monumental.

I stop a while, mesmerised,
as the water feeds our world.
And as it subsides,

a rainbow arrives to proclaim
the grand truth — a beauty unseen
if it weren’t for the rain.

May Gratitude Rain Down on Me was originally published in Being Known on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I first became aware I had anxiety 1.5 years ago. A series of ̶̶u̶n̶ fortunate events, including what I know now to be a panic attack, led me to physical and mental exhaustion. And that’s when my mind decided enough was enough, it was tired of being ignored — time to reveal that deep, dark secret that would change our lives forever.

The moment hit me like a bomb. An explosion of realisation that I wasn’t the powerful, constantly in control, strong, superwoman, who only had ‘positive’ emotions, and could survive anything. Oh no. For the first time in my life, I had to admit I had weaknesses. Ironically, I know now, that made me stronger than ever.

I don’t know exactly when my anxiety started, but I do know it was long before that moment. And I also know how lucky I am that moment came when it did because awareness is the first step to healing. But it was a difficult journey to get there. I’d been given this gift, but it felt like a curse because I hadn’t a clue how to utilise it. I was Harry Potter at age 12 — aware but severely inexperienced. Plus, awareness can be extraordinarily irritating. It’s that never-before-noticed noise that someone points out to you, and now you can’t get out of your head. It’s a catch 22 — you worry about your worry, think about your thoughts, and fret over your fretting.

But healing did come, and after much challenging self-discovery, time, and patience, I’ve found 8 practices that vastly support me to control my anxiety, and ensure I remain a happy human.

Before I dive in, there are 2 important things I’d like to point out. First off — experiencing some level of anxiety is an expected part of life. Picture presenting in front of a crowd, taking a test, facing a problem at work. It’s when the anxiety does not go away and starts to interfere with your daily activities, that you might have an anxiety disorder. Secondly — everyone is different, and there are several types of anxiety disorders, so it’s vital you experiment with what works for you. This article isn’t intended as medical advice, and it’s important to seek the help of a mental health professional to see what works best for you.

Here are my practices:

1. Harness your triggers, symptoms and healers
2. Do yoga and meditation
3. Decide what’s important (and say f**k it to the rest!)
4. Write down your worries
5. Practice gratitude
6. Invest time in meaningful and trusting relationships
7. Check in with yourself. A lot.
8. Share your story

1. Harness your triggers, symptoms and healers

Your triggers — what makes you feel anxious?

Here are some of mine: coffee, alcohol and hangovers, organising personal events (especially my birthday), WhatsApp, a messy house, unwanted noise, being alone too much, spending time on things that don’t align with my values.

It’s unwise to believe you can avoid all of your triggers. I can happily trade wine for water, and organise the cupboards just the way I like them, but I can’t escape the yappy dog that lives downstairs. So get to know what makes you feel anxious, limit what you can, and learn how to manage the rest.

Your symptoms — what do you do when you have anxiety?

Here are some of mine: imagining catastrophic outcomes from minor mistakes, worrying over insignificant issues, guilt/anger over past events (sometimes many years old), repetitive negative thoughts, regretting, rushing and feeling like there isn’t enough time in the day, OCDs, sleeping badly.

Being aware of yours will help you to recognise when you are entering an anxious state, or may already be in one. Then you know it’s time to activate your healers.

Your healers — what helps to calm you down?

Hopefully, the practices in this article will help you if in a state of anxiety, and in setting foundations to prevent you from entering one in the first place. You should experiment and learn the techniques that help you.

Here are some exercises which provide me relief when in a particularly bad moment:

• Breathe in for 5 and out for 5, 5 times over. Deep breathing is one of the best ways to lower stress in the body, as it slows breathing, decreases heart rate, and lowers blood pressure.
• Take a break. This allows you to a) take some space away from the situation and come back to it with a clearer mind, and b) check in with yourself.
• Talk to someone who understands. I call my mum. She’s amazing.

2. Do yoga and meditation

My first yoga class 10 years ago was a terrifying experience. It was advertised as “yoga for all levels”, yet there was no other beginner in the class. I was quickly put off by all the hardcore handstanding yogis, while I couldn’t even convince my dog to go downward. I gave it a couple more gos over the years, but yoga did not satisfy my loud, busy and competition-driven life, so I opted instead to hurt my muscles at intense HIIT sessions. What did warriors, sun salutations, and wild things have to do with anything anyway?!

Well, it turns out, quite a lot. Step onto your yoga mat, my friend, and discover a whole new world. A world of calm, patience and acceptance.

Firstly, yoga is a brilliant form of exercise. And exercise reduces anxiety by:

• distracting you from your worry
• decreasing muscle tension
• releasing chemicals which make you happy
• giving you self-confidence

But yoga goes way beyond exercise. I like to think of it as the profound science of unfolding the infinite potential of the human mind and soul (there is a slim chance I stole that from a spiritual guru). And this is where meditation joins the party because it shares many of the same principles which can help relieve anxiety:

• focus on the breath
• clear your mind
• check in with yourself
• detach from thoughts
• accept yourself

Warriors remind us we can be strong in the face of adversity. Sun salutations remind us to be grateful for the beauty of the everyday. Wild things remind us not to take life too seriously.

3. Decide what’s important (and say f**k it to the rest!)

Many people with anxiety are perfectionists, spend hours on small tasks, are unable to make decisions, and often don’t start projects for fear of mistakes. Because until we get it ‘perfect’, we worry.

John C Parin’s F**k it therapy had a big influence in shifting this mindset for me. It explains that you should define what really matters to you, by asking yourself: “What are my values and goals?” And the rest — f**k it!

Stutter in a presentation? Oh well.

Got that person’s name wrong at a party? Laugh about it and tell them it happens with everyone.

Spelling mistake in that email? Don’t become too attached!

There is a technique used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (one of the most common forms of therapy for anxiety) called decatastrophizing, which goes as follows:

1. Imagine the thing you are worried about, and write down: the worst possible outcome if it happens, the best possible outcome, and what your friend would tell you if you told them about it.
2. If the worst possible outcome took place, would you care in: 1 week, 1 month, 1 year?

This always helps me to clarify that most moments are very minor in the grand and wonderful adventure that is life. Here is a handy doc you can use to help you decide whether a moment is worth worrying about.

Seek playfulness over seriousness, forgive yourself, quit perfectionism, and stop caring about what doesn’t matter.

4. Write down your worries

Sounds too simple to be effective, right? Wrong. Previously, when I was extremely anxious about one particular thing, I would have the same repetitive thoughts over and over again. I’d go to bed thinking about it, dream about it, and wake up thinking about it. I couldn’t get it out of my head. This is called obsessive thinking. Then I started writing the thoughts down.

This technique works a charm for several reasons:

1) It provides a place to hold the worry, allowing your overworked brain a much-needed rest.

2) It helps you decatastrophize (as per above).

3) You can detach from your thoughts, which are just that. They are not the truth, and should not define you.

“The most decisive event in your life is when you discover you are not your thoughts or emotions. Instead, you can be present as the awareness behind the thoughts and emotions.” — Eckhart Tolle

4) You can break down those large, overwhelming problems into small, achievable solutions.

Feeling overwhelmed is a huge part of anxiety. Sometimes, the thought of doing everyday activities like talking to friends, shopping, going to the gym, work, is all way too much. The key to the solution is to start small and take action on what you can control.

If you’re struggling to get to the solutions, take the problem and ask yourself ‘why?’ E.g. I am overwhelmed by the coronavirus nightmare. Why? It worries me that people are getting ill. Why? My family may get ill. Solution: set routine calls with your family to check in on them, and send them advice on how to stay healthy.

5. Practice gratitude

I first heard about the concept of gratitude for mindfulness through my mum. She’d been at a silent retreat, where she’d had to spend some time thinking about someone she’d had a previous ‘negative’ experience with, and why she was grateful for them. I couldn’t understand this concept. I couldn’t understand why you would waste your time focusing on negatives, or how you could ever be grateful for them.

Then I got ill, and I started reading more and more about the healing power of gratitude. The more I read, the more I practiced, the more I noticed. And 2 things started happening. Firstly, many things that were previously somewhat insignificant and unnoticed, became true marvels. Like my comfy bed, my sunlit balcony, my incredible and precious body. And secondly, I started seeing every experience, even the ‘negative’ ones, with an element of thankfulness — they had all brought me something good. The more I noticed, the more I practiced, and not only did I become more thankful for the past and present, but more optimistic about the future, generally less anxious, and much happier.

We cannot be grateful for all that a given moment brings us; yet, in any given moment, we can be grateful for something. The gift within the gift of any given moment is opportunity. Br. David Steindl-Rast — TedTalk

Practicing gratitude has a huge array of positive benefits on anxiety, such as reducing repetitive negative thinking, being less critical and more compassionate to ourselves when setbacks occur, and reducing feelings of apprehension, gaining acceptance, and becoming fearless of the future.

And the most wonderful thing of all? It’s not that difficult to do. All you need to start your gratitude journey is a pen, paper, and a willingness to say thank you.

1) Keep a journal. Every night before you go to sleep, write down at least 3 things that you are grateful for and why.

2) Tell people how grateful you are for them. You can say “thank you”, “I love you”, or “you are a really special friend”. It will make them feel great, you feel great, and the cycle of gratitude is passed on.

6. Invest time in meaningful and trusting relationships

Let go of people who don’t make you happy

I feel utterly blessed to have family and friends who I trust beyond anything, and consistently make me feel happy, safe, and unjudged. But I had to learn when it was necessary to say goodbye to people who did not make me feel like that, in order to create room for these deep, genuine and valuable relationships. This is not about being unforgiving. In fact, forgiveness, honesty, and reconciliation are hugely important in reducing anxiety. This is about knowing when to let go of the past for a better future.

Limit social media

Social media. A bittersweet relationship. It’s awesome for many things: getting support from others in a similar position, providing a platform for you to share your story, and connecting with people globally.

However, spending too much time watching other people “living their best life”, while you are feeling down, is only going to create unrealistic worry about why you are the only one feeling glum. Dopamine-feeding social media (thank you, Simon Sinek) creates an addictive environment where you seek validation from external sources, rather than your trusted inner circle, who are the people who can really make you feel better. The more you use it, the less likely you are to reach out to these people when you need them, instead opting for the fickle buzz of a Facebook like from that person you dated 2 years ago, or the Insta follow from that influencer.

Please choose real connection. Invite that friend who’s been quiet for a walk, and ask them how they’re really doing. Call your family that lives on the other side of the world and find out what they did on the weekend. Send a letter in the post to someone you love, and tell them why you love them.

7. Check in with yourself. A lot.

I wake up every morning and ask myself one very simple question: “How do I feel today?” I get in touch with my mental state and my emotions, and can then adjust my routine to best serve today’s self. I choose meditation based on the emotion that I’m feeling, yoga vs HIIT, coffee vs decaf. Through practice, you will also learn what serves you best.

Journaling is also a great way to become aware of your emotions and keep track of your triggers, symptoms and healers.

And remember to be kind to yourself. Angry that you can’t find your favourite tea bags, worried about that social gathering this weekend, crying over spilt milk? You know what, that’s ok! Have some self-compassion (AMAZING podcast right here about techniques for being self-compassionate). And remember, feelings are temporary. They are something you have, not something you are. Tomorrow has the potential to be very different.

8. Share your story

It could be opening up to friends and family, or seeking professional support from a therapist. There are several different therapies you can try out, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the one that changed my sister’s life, supporting her to manage her generalised anxiety disorder. It’s talk therapy which helps you become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking, so you can respond to challenges in a more effective and healthier way. So when you make that spelling error in that email, rather than falling into a spiral of anxiety, you respond by acknowledging that we all make mistakes. This form of therapy can also help with self-awareness, implementing healthy habits, learning your triggers, and coping skills.

You could share your story on social media or your own blog. I find it extremely cathartic and helps me to normalise my experiences. If the idea of this for you is overwhelming, perhaps stick to personal journaling. But reading others’ stories online was my rock through some difficult times, and you never know whose life you can change simply by sharing. Because we all go through mental health battles, and it’s important to remember you are completely normal, and never alone.

Here are more helpful resources to learn more, hear from others, and better manage your anxiety:

• Mind
• Campaign Against Living Miserably
• Invisible Illness
• Psychology Today
• Happify
• Healthy Place
• Healthline
• Positive Psychology
• Rethink

8 Practices to Calm Your Anxiety was originally published in Invisible Illness on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Today, I looked and saw beyond my reflection. It’d been a while.

Mirror Monoku was originally published in Poetry in Form on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I still dream of that moment, so
deeply pure my joyous heart glowed.
A magic spark, our special place.
I realise now, but far too late.

I still dream of your remedy — 
kindness, play, curiosity.
For time too short, love reigned supreme.
And I was your enraptured queen.

I still dream of that time I laughed,
and thought that life would be enough
if it were filled with this and you.
My coward heart hid from the truth.

I still dream of that time I cried,
wishing I had been honest why.
But fearlessness, I’ve just learnt now,
is worth the risk. You showed me how.

I still dream of that love divine.
Once a lifetime, for souls like mine.
Giving in, becoming undone
wasn’t so tough. Wish I had known.

I still dream of every moment
together. Sweet enlightenment.
That precious gift of time adored.
Now I can’t ask for nothing more.

I still dream of you was originally published in Poetry in Form on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This year I became a “COVID-19 long-hauler”. Not one of the more imaginative or fun nicknames I’ve ever had. But then, nothing about having COVID-19 is fun.

For “long-haulers”, symptoms can last weeks, a few months, many months, and I’m afraid to say that soon this will likely be years. It’s typical that they come in waves. Huge, crashing waves that drag you under without warning, toss you around in a world of confusion and darkness, and spit you out breathless, exhausted and weakened. For me, they lasted on and off, 4–5 months. Yet the impact on my life is permanent, and in many ways I am actually grateful.

My experience happened during the strict Barcelona lockdown, where for the first 7 weeks we could only leave our houses for groceries, the pharmacy, or to walk the dog. Unable to see friends or family while so ill, I struggled with the biggest mental health battle of my life.

But I count myself one of the lucky ones. Now I feel healed, I’m sharing my story and some advice, in the hope it will be helpful to others still suffering from long-haul COVID symptoms, and informative to those wanting to provide support.

Wave 1 — March

On Saturday 21st March, we’d been in lockdown one week, and I had my goals in place to use this as an opportunity to develop and achieve. Spanish, learning to cook, boot camp YouTube videos, taking courses, etc. I was ready to go, and prepared for whatever was going to be thrown my way. Go me! But although I’d trained for a marathon, I did not expect an injury after the first mile.

So on this Saturday, I got up early and started practising Spanish. Within 10 minutes, I lost all concentration, and couldn’t keep my eyes open or my body upright. All I could think about was sleeping. I went into my bedroom and slept for 3 hours… only an hour after waking up. For someone who slept 7 hour nights, did not nap, and rarely had issues with tiredness, it was odd. This fatigue was the symptom that affected me the most throughout everything. It was chronic, scary, and I often wondered if I would ever have energy again. Over the next few days, more symptoms appeared. I got severe shivers, where I was in bed with a duvet + 2 blankets + 2 jumpers + the heater on. I checked the outside temperature, it was 17 degrees and sunny. I gradually lost all sense of smell and taste. Imagine eating chicken and vegetable soup, and all you taste is air. I could have been world champion in the cinnamon challenge — I was piling the stuff on my porridge and couldn’t taste a thing. And terrible diarrhoea, although this could have been a lot worse if I hadn’t had the previous symptom mentioned. And I looked ill, I mean really ill. Think Sweeney Todd. I had dark circles under my eyes and looked like I hadn’t slept in weeks, yet it’s all I’d been doing.

Now I bet you’re thinking: “That sounds like coronavirus!” But hindsight is a deceiving friend. In March, the high-risk COVID-19 symptoms given by the World Health Organisation were cough, difficulty breathing and fever. I had none of these, so assumed it was the flu, took no time off work, and gave myself no time to recover. I then found out 3 work colleagues had exactly the same symptoms I’d had, and that “flu” became questionable. But tests were impossible to get in Spain, so I was left in limbo not knowing one way or another.

And when I could muster up some brain functionality, I forgot basic details like friends’ names, the Spanish for please, or how to cook an egg.

But as the symptoms (bar some fatigue) had dissipated, I didn’t worry too much. I actually thought if I’d had it that was probably a good thing. Most of what I was reading suggested that I would build up antibodies, and wouldn’t be able to get it again. Hooray! That was that. At least, I thought it was.

Wave 2 — April

A few weeks later, the same symptoms came back with a vengeance, and this time there were more. A week-long headache, that no amount of paracetamol gobbling could cure. Brain fog, where I couldn’t think about anything at all for hours on end. I’d lie in bed and literally do nothing. And when I could muster up some brain functionality, I forgot basic details like friends’ names, the Spanish for please, or how to cook an egg. Now I’m no Jamie Oliver, but it was eggtraordinary. My metabolism sped up so much, that even the 5 large meals a day still left me as ravenous as a bear coming out of hibernation. And this time, I had a fever. FEVER. So… hang on. What was going on? Hadn’t I had COVID before? Could you get it again? I thought antibodies were a thing!

While frantically Googling “Can you get coronavirus twice?” with one hand, I rang the doctor with the other. He insisted that as I had fever, I had to go in and see them. So masked and gloved up, I entered the doctor’s surgery which looked like a scene from the film 28 Days Later. I was overwhelmed with admiration for everyone working there, risking their health every day to help others.

The doctor told me the likelihood was that I had contracted COVID-19 when I first had symptoms, and that they were resurfacing — he advised me it can happen with viruses if you don’t rest and recover. So I had probably passed the contagious period, but as tests were still not available, I had to quarantine for another 2 weeks. Barcelona was still in housebound lockdown, so not a huge challenge. Still, it did give me immense gratitude for my balcony, which gave me fresh air and sunlight for a few hours a day.

But it struck me how little the people we place our trust in knew — doctors, the government, friends, family. We were (and still are) all making many mistakes, trying to beat an enemy who’s always one step ahead. That big word UNCERTAINTY hit me like a smack in the face.

Both results were negative. What?! Had I not had it? Was the test wrong? I was confused, sad, and feared judgement and disbelief that I’d ever had the virus.

I took sick leave from work, the short-term symptoms disappeared, I went back to work, and we remained in house lockdown until 2nd May, when we were allowed out for one hour a day to exercise. By this point, Barcelona had spent 7 gruelling weeks inside, and I’d had 2 waves of COVID symptoms, for roughly 1–2 weeks each time. The one that never left was the fatigue, which continued to overwhelm me. COVID had turned me from a mad gym bunny into someone who could barely survive a light yoga session. I was constantly exhausted. So my hour of allowed exercise was spent walking to a nearby park, sitting for a bit, walking home, snail-climbing the 3 flights up to my house, taking breaks along the way. All the while, huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf, whose motivation was not 3 little pigs but a 3 hour nap. Oh yes, hours of napping every day, along with 10-hour sleeps at night.

But I battled on.

Wave 3 — May

I left it 3 weeks before seeing friends, just to be on the “safe” side. But the day after seeing them, the symptoms decided to rear their ugly heads once again. I felt the fatigue, brain fog, and dread wash over me. I panicked, was there a chance I could have given it to my friends? Although likely that my contagious period was over, I still did not know if I’d had COVID at all. What would they think of me? What if they became ill? What if, what if, what if?

Fortunately tests had just become available (2 months after I first displayed symptoms), albeit only privately, at a fee, for people who had symptoms. So I had an IgM and IgG antibodies test (PCR was not a thing yet). IgM is supposed to show you whether you currently do/do not have COVID-19. IgG is supposed to show you whether you have/have not had COVID-19 previously at some point. So, naïve little me, fully expected the result to be IgM negative and IgG positive. But COVID is sneaky and full of nasty surprises. Both results were negative. What?! Had I not had it? Was the test wrong? I was confused, sad, and feared judgement and disbelief that I’d ever had the virus. We now have a lot more information to suggest negative IgG tests are not the be all and end all, but back then we didn’t know any better. I was selfishly relieved when I found others online who’d had the same experience. I was not alone.

Well, at least I could go out and see friends now knowing I was not contagious. Right? But it wasn’t as simple as A, B, C. My mental health was in tatters. I had a constant feeling of being low, and not wanting to speak to anyone. And I had developed anxieties over everything. Getting out of bed. Leaving the house. Exercising. Eating. Drinking caffeine or alcohol. Seeing friends. My job. People’s judgement. Developing chronic fatigue syndrome/ME. The future. The past. The present. EVERYTHING seemed dark, dismal and overwhelming.

A real low point was when Barcelona beach opened up, my favourite place to be, as it symbolises freedom, happiness, and being with friends. I couldn’t go. It was too far to get there, and I worried that I would feel exhausted and not be able to get home.

Then I had to quit

I’d taken 3 weeks of sick leave on and off. I had such severe anxiety that I was waking up crying. I had the worst week of my life, and at this point I have to say how grateful I am that I have a good support network around me who helped me see my priorities.

I needed a break from everything. All my ambitious life goals that I’d set in place went out the window. And I not only had to quit my job that I loved, but every other thing I was working towards achieving. I had to just be.

Since then, any sort of self-development or challenge has taken a backseat to rest and recovery. My goals have shifted to daily meditation, yoga, practising gratitude, recognising when I need a break, spending time with people I really love, and being kind to myself when I can’t do something that was previously possible. I’ve built back up my physical strength, and am now back to exercising the amount I was before. But I check in with myself daily, ask myself how I feel, and listen to my body.

Illness is a part of every human being’s experience. It enhances our perceptions and reduces self-consciousness. It is the great confessional; things are said, truths are blurted out which health conceals. Virginia Woolf — On Being Ill

There were many milestones throughout my Odyssey. But nothing quite felt like the first day I made it to Barcelona beach, walked along it with a good friend, and decided on my next life chapter after defeating COVID-19. A memory that I’ll hold in my heart forever.

Advice for long-haulers

These following things were instrumental in supporting my mental and physical health during my COVID-19 battle:

• Meditation and yoga provide a time and safe place every day to just be with yourself without judgement. Stretching and light yoga are also a great way to exercise if you have fatigue. I especially love Buddhify, Headspace and Yoga with Adrienne.
• There are several Facebook groups for people with long-haul COVID which gave me an immeasurable amount of advice and support in not feeling alone. For example ‘Long Haul COVID Fighters — Round 1 (Onset of illness PRIOR to 04/01/20)’ and ‘Long Covid Support Group’. I encourage you to join these, or other support groups, and share your experiences as much as you can online— you don’t know who might be eternally grateful to read about them.
• Ask for help from people you can rely on. It takes bravery, but remember…

• Implement gratitude into your life. Keep a journal of what you are grateful for, and tell people why you are grateful for them. Because although the cup might be half empty, we are lucky to have a cup at all.
• If you are feeling overwhelmed or suffering from brain fog, “Checking In with Susan David” and “Meditative Story” are helpful podcasts to keep your brain stimulated with words of support. I particularly like the episodes “Bonus: Self-soothing exercises with Dr. Kristin Neff” and “I let go of my plan — and found myself, by Krista Tippett”.

And remember, you will be ok. It will take patience, prioritising being over achieving, self-care, and being kind to yourself. However deep and dark under water those waves take you, there is a light at the surface.