Here’s a quick crash course into sexuality and its complexities before we delve into biphobia itself. Sexuality is a part of every aspect of our lives. It is incorporated in our values, experiences and even relationships with others. Human sexuality is influenced by everything, from religion, to politics, to families and cultures, and even individuals. Sexuality refers to our relationships with our bodies and the bodies around us, our biological sexual organs, and our sexual identities. A major part of our sexual identity is our sexual orientation. It has also been a much debated over subject, while still being a taboo one. Sexual orientation refers to a pattern of romantic, sexual, and emotional attraction to the sexes. Therefore, it also becomes a part of a person’s identity. Most research suggests that sexuality exists on a spectrum, and is not as black and white as most people think it is. Traditionally, sexual orientation was discussed in three categories: heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.

Heterosexuality refers to the sexual attraction to the ‘opposite gender’, specifically males and females. Homosexuality, on the other hand, refers to the attraction to the same gender, as in males to males or females to females. Bisexuality is usually defined as the attraction to both genders, males and females. However, as knowledge of genders and sexes grew, it became evident that definitions of bisexuality varied. The use of the term ‘both genders’ or even ‘both sexes’ insinuates that there are only two genders and that sex is a binary construct, when it is not. However, currently bisexuality is best understood as the attraction to two or more genders, or people similar to one’s own gender and different from one’s own. The attraction might be in different degrees, and in an extremely fluid manner. Yet, the attraction remains valid at all times. Bisexuality does not mean being half gay and half straight.

The Kinsey Scale is often used in research to help test one’s sexuality, and while it is a relevant part of the understanding of sexual orientations, it is not comprehensive. The scale goes from zero to six, where zero is exclusively heterosexual, three is equally heterosexual and homosexual, and six is exclusively homosexual. This is an extremely flawed representation of bisexuality; in reality, the attraction is not equally balanced. As stated earlier, bisexuality works in a much more fluid manner. One could be attracted to a specific gender much less, but it is still a valid attraction.

Homophobia, according to Planned Parenthood, is “fear or hatred of people who are or thought to be lesbian or gay”. This hatred often stems from religious beliefs and is described as ‘irrational’, but is a massive social occurrence. Homophobia often leads to acts of violence and bullying, especially incidents of corrective rape- wherein a person believes that someone’s sexual identity can be ‘corrected’ through sex. Homophobia is also a leading cause for suicide rates amongst teenagers all over. In fact, studies have indicated that queer youth are four times more likely to attempt suicide as compared to straight teens. Moreover, a subpart of homophobia is biphobia. This includes bisexual erasure, and exists within the LGBT+ community as well.

Bisexual erasure is the tendency to ignore, or erase, the existence of bisexuality. It is a manifestation of biphobia and is extremely prevalent all over. This is often perpetuated by seemingly harmless descriptions of bisexuality as greedy, indecisive, or slutty. According to an article in the Stanford Law Review, ‘The Epistemic Contract of Bisexual Erasure’ by Kenji Yoshino, the motivation behind bisexual erasure is threefold. The first is sexual orientation stabilisation. This arises from the fear of having one’s sexual identity questioned, as well as the lack of understanding of sexuality. The idea that one can only be straight or gay nullifies the acceptance of bisexuality, therein promoting the stereotype that they are ‘undecided’. The second is societal emphasis on the sex binary, which is seemingly challenged by bisexuality. It is seen as “eroding the salience of the sex binary”. Lastly, is the desire for monogamy. According to Yoshino, most Americans prefer monogamous relationships, which they feel is threatened by bisexuality, as they are presumed to be “intrinsically non-monogamous”. The main fear for heterosexuals stems from the idea that bisexual promiscuity is the connecting factor between homosexuals and heterosexuals, thereby being the transferor of diseases such as HIV. This is further heightened by lack of distinction between bisexuality and polygamy. Yet, Yoshino maintains that this erasure and phobia exists with both homosexuals and heterosexuals.

Common examples of bisexual erasure include claims that bisexuals are homosexuals who wish to appear heterosexual, and therefore use it as a cover, or that they are heterosexuals who are just experimenting with their sexuality. Similarly, a very common manifestation of this erasure is claiming that bisexuals are straight when they are in a relationship with someone of another sex, and gay when they are with someone of the same sex. Another common illustration is the term ‘gay marriage’. Campaigns for marriage equality is referred to as gay marriage, which completely erases out the involvement of bisexuality, or non-monogamy as a whole. If a bisexual person were to get married to someone of the same sex, they would be termed as gay or lesbian. Being mislabelled is a major part of being a bisexual person in a relationship. Robyn Ochs, a bisexual activist and editor of the ‘Bisexual Resource Guide’, fought vehemently against bisexual erasure, but was still misidentified as a lesbian when she was one of the first same-sex couples to marry in America.

One of the leading causes for biphobia within the LGBT+ Community is the idea of ‘passing’. This means that a bisexual person in a relationship with a person from the other sex can exist easily in public spaces. They need not worry about holding their partner’s hand in public without getting attacked for it. They are able to pass as straight people, and can therefore avoid the violent backlash that comes with being queer. However, this ‘passing privilege’ does not take into account the erasure that comes with it. Bisexual people are constantly being pushed back into the closet by passing as straight. Their sexual identity is never seen as valid. It means that they are straight until proven queer, or that they’re too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight. Furthermore, it means coming out over and over again, to people who never believe you. Being told that they have no place within the LGBT+ Community can often lead to internalised biphobia. It is the feeling of not being able to fit in anywhere, and the guilt that comes with it. Passing as straight is not a privilege when your sexual identity is never accepted. It is common for lesbians to reject bisexual women based on any prior relationships with men. As a result, bisexual people are 6 times more likely to hide their sexual orientation than homosexuals. Moreover, an issue that needs addressing is the correlation between mental health and bisexual people. Due to the massive isolation from everywhere, it is difficult to find support. Research has proven that bisexual women are 26% more likely to be depressed and 64% are more likely to report an eating disorder than lesbian women. They are also 20% more likely to be suffering from anxiety, as well have very little support in social groups. Bisexual people are more likely to face sexual assault or partner violence as well. Biphobia is an extremely threatening social phenomenon, one that is not addressed enough.

As someone who identifies as a bisexual woman, I used to find it easier to label myself as ‘queer’, in order to avoid the massive stigma attached to my sexual orientation. However, I did so with guilt. In one way, I was reclaiming the word which was originally a slur. But by labelling myself as queer, I was erasing my own identity. I was, unknowingly, perpetuating the stereotype that bisexual people don’t like labels. As difficult as it is even now to state that I am bisexual, every time I do, I understand the struggle that we face, and I acknowledge that bisexual erasure and biphobia is a prevalent part of society even today. When we come out, we get told that we’re confused, seeking attention, greedy, or that it’s just a phase. And while most people claim to say it with the best of intentions, they are really just invalidating our identities. You grow up hearing about how people are either gay or straight, and when you realise that you fall in both categories, you start to question everything about yourself. Bisexual erasure and biphobia is a big problem, and it needs to be addressed. People talk about the LBGT+ Community as a space for the gays and lesbians, but choose to leave out everything else. Bisexuality is not the ‘grey space’ between homosexuality and heterosexuality. Non monosexuality is real. Bisexuality is real.

*And no, it’s not ‘just a phase’.