The weight of it all is wearing me down. It’s everywhere. But where I feel it most is inside my head.

My stuff.

In my pantry. In the garage. In the trunk of my car. On top of my desk. In the fridge and the cupboards and closets. Not to mention the worst offender: the in-box(s) on all my devices. Ugh.

Must be January.

Some may call this a red flag. But, the imperfection of clutter makes me anxious. I’m not bothered by other people’s stuff. But in my own home, it makes me feel out of control.

And, generally speaking, this feeling is most intense in January. The remains of holiday festivities create an undercurrent of chaos. Things shoved into closets in haste. A refrigerator that needs to be completely emptied; even hosed down! And a place created for all our new stuff.

Can you relate?

Pema Chodrön writes about this in her book Taking the Leap.

Tasked with dispersing her Mother’s possessions when she passed, she noted how many things her Mother carried with her from home to home; things packed in boxes and tucked away in hidden corners. Things that had weight and took up space.

Things that now held no meaning for anyone.

The meaning we attach to our “stuff” represents emotions, triggering memories that keep us attached to our story and reinforce our connection with the past.

And sometimes they prevent us from stepping into our future.

Hmmmm.

Granted, this is a process. But Pema Chodrön’s example struck a chord with me that’s changed how I approach lightening my own load.

Creating whitespace

There’s an important visual concept in the design world called “whitespace.” It is the empty space between things. But, it isn’t a passive space.

It’s a restful space.

We live in a world with whitespace. Look outside. See the space between things. It isn’t dead space. It has energy; it’s breathing room.

Our personal spaces are no different, whether it’s our home, our car, our desk. Our head. Or our life.

It all needs breathing room.

And after the pace of the holiday season, the need for this can’t be more obvious. I’ve come to believe that’s the reason for January.

Should it stay or should it go?

4 questions to help you decide:

· What meaning does this item have? Sometimes things have a special meaning. Even if it’s just because you like the way it looks. Then it’s worth keeping. But I venture to guess that the vast majority of the items in our hiding places are there just because. Put there long ago, “just in case.” Now forgotten. Something that holds no meaning. If that’s the case, send it on its way to someone for whom it will have meaning.

• Ask a different question When I asked the question “do I want this” instead of “should I keep this” the entire contents of a storage closet piled on the garage floor boiled down to 3 or 4 things within minutes. And even better, the remaining items held no charge for me whatsoever and became easy to let go of. It’s the question I ask every time now. It works.

• Do you really have space for it? Even if it’s something small, is that how you want to use the space it takes up. And a gentle reminder: the goal is to create more whitespace, i.e., breathing room.

• Does it reflect who you are today? Life is meant to evolve and so are we. Change is the natural process as time marches on. So if your “stuff” no longer fits who you are, then it’s probably time to let go of it.

“Stuff” is energy and energy is not meant to be stagnant. Someone out there needs, wants and would love your “stuff.” Send it on its way and allow it to serve someone else.

The best thing about letting go of things is donating them to someone for whom they will be a gift. There are many, many non-profit organizations available in every neighborhood that welcome donations. Some will even come and pick them up. Just remember, donate usable items only!

And finally, move toward conscious consumerism in your lives. Bring only items you love into your life. Sometimes the gift is complete just by looking at it in the store …. things don’t always need to come home with you to be appreciated and enjoyed.

Be selective about what you bring into your whitespace.

Our words have meaning. They tell our truth.

The words we use represent our beliefs and create our reality. So, be aware of your words!

Part of my new year planning involves selecting a ‘word of the year.’ It’s a word that represents the over-arching theme of my intention for the coming year.

Did you know we have a cultural word of the year too? Check out this entertaining clip if you’re curious about contenders for this year’s word of the year. There’s a few words in there I’ve never even heard of! https://www.cbsnews.com/news/2017-contenders-for-word-of-the-year/

According to Time Magazine, this practice dates back to 1990 when group of linguistic professors belonging to the American Dialect Society banded together to select the first official word of the year.

Fashioned after the ever-popular TIME Magazine person of the year, which at the time anyway, was selected by people not an algorithm, a guy named Allan Metcalf reasoned “language is a mirror” and so, why not select a word reflecting what people are talking about at the time? The rest, as they say, is history.

The word of the year ascribed by these professionals back in the day? “Bushlips.” Ever heard of that? Me neither.

I began selecting a personal word of the year a few years ago — mostly out of curiosity. And, it’s become part of my annual goal setting practice.

My Word of the Year for 2017 changed midstream. I started with “imagine” but it wasn’t what needed my attention.

I selected gratitude instead, wanting it to become my state of being.

Did it? Not so much.

I have a friend who is my gratitude role model. She epitomizes gratitude as a state of being. Here is a bit I wrote about her a year ago for Rumblstrips.com.

Recently, I witnessed with awe as a friend struggled through a year of grief, unexpected legal problems, financial distress and more…..alone. These three biggies can trigger depression and bring us to our knees. She felt the full gamut of expected emotions: sadness, fear, anger and loneliness.

And yet, with incredible grace and resolve, she faced her challenges and made her way through the most difficult period of her life. You see, my friend lives with gratitude. It isn’t something saved for when the going gets good.

It’s why the going gets good.

Every time we talk, my friend speaks of gratitude. And today, she has not only survived the challenges, she’s thriving in ways she never expected. Her life is better than it’s ever been before and not for a moment does she take it for granted.

How is my friend a year later? Even better, despite a major disappointment along the way.

Her response? “I’m grateful for it. Without those experiences I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

She has inspired me.

“Building a practice of gratitude is the best way I know to create an optimistic approach to life.” ~Silken Laumann

I’m going back for seconds on my word of the year for 2018

Gratitude will be my word of the year for 2018. Again.

I’ve got more practicing to do. I’ve got more perceptions to challenge. I’ve got more resolve to dig up.

What better time to dig into gratitude than the holiday season; especially as we wrap up a year that has challenged our sense of safety and left a hole in our hearts.

Gratitude can be the lifeline that takes you through the holiday season and beyond

It’s the time of year when feelings of isolation and sadness can amplify. It’s common for all of us so if you’re experiencing this, know that you’re not alone.

But it’s especially difficult for those who have suffered terrible losses, tragedies or upheavals during the past year. Depression, anger and alienation rise up while feelings of sadness and grief blanket them, while [it seems] everyone else is making merry.

I think it happens to everyone on some level at least sometimes.

Reflection is the trigger.

Gratitude is the healing salve.

7 ways to help you build your gratitude muscle

· Start small

Every day add ONE thing you are grateful for to a list you keep in the notes on your phone or a notebook you carry with you. Keep it handy so you can pull it out and read your list if you need a lift.

If you can’t think of anything, be grateful for your breath.

· Make it a choice

If gratitude is another chore on your should-do (or be) list, chances are you’ll resist it. It’s human nature to approach choices more openly while resisting chores.

So this is something to give some real thought to. Don’t beat yourself up over this. You may be setting yourself up for more resistance and who needs more of that.

· Practice it

Deciding to build your gratitude muscle takes practice. In the process act as-if it is true — especially when you’re not really feeling it. Acting grateful when you’re really feeling pretty grumpy is acceptable! And guess what, pretty soon you won’t need to pretend!

· Say “thank you”

Take the time to say thank you. We tend to throw out “thanks” to people who do something for us. But it can be an off-hand comment said in haste with little consideration.

Saying thank YOU creates connection. And connection creates happiness.

Even better? Say “thank you for your help” and watch their face light up.

The energy you put forth expands. And is returned.

· Go outside every day

Just be. Move your body if you want. But it isn’t necessary for building gratitude. Just sitting and breathing outside is a game-changer too. Stay outside until the resistance (I’m cold, I don’t have time, this is boring, etc.) will pass — usually about 10 minutes.

Hang in there and breath. Listen. Just be.

· Build a community

Do you have family? A group of like-minded friends? Co-workers? Accountability can go a long way in building a new behavior. So, consider getting a group together to share successes and challenges. As long as it remains a choice!

· Answer these 3 simple questions daily

Seventeenth century philosopher Rabbi Baruch Spinoza recommended answering these questions daily to show gratitude for your life.

o Who or what inspired me today

o What made me happy today

o What brought me comfort and peace today

Having stood the test of time, these questions remain relevant in our modern lifestyles.

Answering these in a brief daily practice is the first gratitude writing practice that has made sense to me and I’m sticking with it regularly. I can say from experience, writing can be an important exercise in building your gratitude muscle.

Gratitude is one of our most powerful gifts. Yet it is also one that is often taken for granted. We (or rather, I) assume the energy that provides for me knows I am grateful. Why wouldn’t I be?

Where are my manners?

Acknowledging the gifts of life that surround us daily is really such a simple shift. But, I’ve learned it won’t happen by itself. And so, it’s a choice I’m making for 2018 and beyond.

Saying thank you, noticing and expressing gratitude for all of life, not just the things in life is my theme for 2018.

And so, I close this post, with gratitude as I publish this, my 12th consecutive post on Medium.com. It was a commitment made to myself in September, despite my fear, excuses and a heavy travel schedule.

I am grateful for the nudge that brought me to Medium.com. And I am grateful for the platform that allows anyone to practice this craft in a legitimate environment.

I am grateful for the traffic the posts have generated and the people who have read them — many of whom I don’t even know.

And mostly, I am grateful to the place inside of me that will not let me rest until I run out of words. It’s been hounding me for years. Gnawing at me. Leading me into the uncharted territory of being a writer. And revealing a peace that has eluded me … f o r e v e r.

For the written words resonate with Truth. And that’s what I’m going for. It’s my journey.

I hope this article inspires in you a desire to see where gratitude can take you. And if you do, please let me know in the comment box below.

For more on the gifts of writing, read my first published post on medium.com https://medium.com/@ritagraving/reflections-on-writing-10-surprising-benefits-of-a-writing-practice-5296c7bbee84

It was the last day of school on a morning that began with horrific news of a tragic event that happened the night before.

The last question on the final 6th grade assignment in front of me read, “how do you feel today?” I answered something to the effect that Americans are violent and filled with hatred. The kid next to me answered the same question with “hot and sticky.”

Maybe I’ve always been a little “other-wordly.”

Even as a young girl I had deep thoughts about life, the reality of existence, and what it all meant.

Some would call lying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling and thinking “what if this is all a dream,” the thoughts of an old soul. But what it felt like to 10-year old me, was loneliness; maybe even madness.

Deep thoughts followed me into my teenage years. Surveying the landscape of adulthood, I found hope in believing the future promised relief from the angst of puberty. “Look at them,” I would say to myself, “they all lived through it.”

Sure enough, I survived my teenage years. And, for the most part, managed to quiet the questions of my somewhat tormented soul. I took pride in having left the past behind as I moved into adulthood and building my dream life.

But the truth is, we are born into this life with a purpose and the chance to heal our psychic wounds. And, as great as my life felt at the time, I had a boatload of healing work ahead of me — I just didn’t know it yet.

…I didn’t see the hole until I fell into it.

And from the abyss I learned the brawn of the brain is no match for the will of the soul. For it will not be denied.

“There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” ~Leonard Cohen

The crack in my armor let the light in, unveiling a purpose far different than the life my limiting beliefs were presenting. The pain of my cracking armor was real. Yet, the brilliance of the light revealed a transformational force that has guided me on a [not always straight] trajectory in a new direction.

5 Gifts From the Abyss

I share these with gratitude for the gifts within the lessons learned.

· We are here for a reason

Life has purpose and if you are here, it’s because you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You belong. You are worthy. You are loved. Your soul knows this.

These are truths that are a sure thing — despite how much time you spend doubting it.

Trust this and your life will begin to shift in ways that will be transformational. Choose this belief every morning and any time your confidence in these words wavers. Your conviction will strengthen and pretty soon, even your subconscious mind will accept this as truth.

· Awakening from the dream

Is our ‘reason for being’ to awaken our purpose? It’s an interesting question and exciting to witness the growing conversation around it.

Awakening shifts perceptions, both individually and communally.

The reality of our life is a conclusion drawn by our subconscious mind; it is our perception. And no two people see or experience the same thing because their perception of everything is uniquely their own.

So, maybe we’re all sharing the same environment, but it’s really all a dream. It’s all perceived; made up. And maybe, the truth is that we only truly awaken when we die.

Maybe that’s what Steve Jobs meant when he uttered his final words,

“Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”

· The school of life

We live in such a results oriented culture that it’s hard to remember Ralph Waldo Emerson’s profound reminder,

“Life is a journey, not a destination.”

Life is not a project to be managed. It is a series of lessons to be experienced. Some we will call good. Some we will call bad. But all will be for our benefit as we journey through life. And, a reminder that we are the one’s doing the labeling and there just might be more to the experience than we, through our tunnel vision, are able to see.

· Quieting the mind

Quieting my mind helped me find my way out of the abyss. And on days when I feel myself slipping back in, meditation is the tool that keeps me grounded.

The relentless noise inside our heads every day, all day (and night) is deafening and disabling. Only when our mind is still can we hear our intuitive voice offering wisdom and guidance from our soul. We find clarity in this space; spawning creativity, ideas, solutions and wisdom.

These are the gifts of meditation. It is a space of wholeness, freedom, joy and peace. It’s a profound break from the din of everyday life that strengthens our connection with the unified field of unlimited potential and possibility.

It is a practice that asks only for commitment and a few minutes of our time on a daily basis.

It is, in my opinion, the most important thing we can do for personal growth and healing of both ourselves and the planet.

· Establishing a daily practice

Starting your day with time dedicated to reflection and intention will set the tone for the hours ahead. It can be as short as 10 minutes or whatever time you can fit into your over-stuffed schedule. I promise you, the ROI on the time invested will be returned in spades.

Set aside this time to focus on spiritual health: time for meditation, prayer, writing, yoga, focusing on gratitude, whatever inspires you. It can be done alone, with a partner and even with children. All will reap the rewards.

It’s time dedicated to designing the remainder of the day. Day by day, a little becomes a lot. And designing your day inspires a practice in living your life by design as well.

Make it a choice and let it ebb and flow as necessary. Allow it to evolve and try different things. Your practice will find you if you want it to.

Practice. Build this muscle. Again, you’ll be rewarded in spades.

A healthy spirit is as important as a healthy body. These two facets of your being are interdependent like the opposing ends of the playground teeter totter. The pivot point in the middle: your heart.

If the opposing ends are balanced they move up and down effortlessly. But if they are out of balance, it just doesn’t work very well.

Something needs to shift.

It’s like that for us too.

Our heart is at the center of our being and the if the rest of us is out of balance, life just doesn’t work very well.

Something needs to shift.

Transformation is what life is all about. You don’t get through life without it.

But it can happen TO you, or it can happen BECAUSE of you, with two very different outcomes.

Introspection and self-discovery are important tools for transformation. There are no shortcuts, cheatsheets or guarantees. There is no template to follow and no two people — even if they are identical twins, will have the same journey.

Your transformational experience of life is as unique as your DNA.

Just as your body is your responsibility to maintain, so is your life. Take ownership and connect with all the parts. Live from the inside out. You will be supported every step of the way.

It’s what your soul is longing for.

Your subconscious mind is listening.

Guard your thoughts

Our thoughts and words are the ingredients for the soup of life. They tell the truth about what our beliefs and world view are. It’s where our energy is strongest and where we’re most focused.

Our subconscious mind is taking notes on all of it, filing it away for future reference. The subconscious mind has it all on file. Even the secrets we don’t want shared.

It does not analyze, discern, debate or judge. It can’t tell if we’re “joking” and has no conscience. It takes everything at face value and weighs it against everything else.

It’s the algorithm that makes every decision about what will show up in our lives. And it is fueled by our energy. It reflects back to us the truth about where our energy is really focused, despite the stories we tell ourselves.

Taking stock of our lives

We’re heading into the final weeks of the year — a time for reflection, planning and course correction. The calendar year-end triggers a glance back toward where we were a year ago compared to where we are now.

Our relationships, our careers, our health and our finances — every facet of our life is a real-time reflection of our inner world, of our thoughts, beliefs, structures and stories.

Three hundred sixty-five days of experiences, thoughts, words and actions cataloged by our subconscious mind, impacting today, tomorrow and the next three hundred sixty-five days.

Day after day, year after year, layer upon layer, our future is being powered by the subconscious mind.

Is your life headed in the direction of your choosing or is your past in charge of your future?

“As you sow in your subconscious mind, so shall you reap in your body and environment.” ~ Joseph Murphy

We are guaranteed both pain and pleasure on this journey through life. Just as a rainy day will help us appreciate the sun, so too, our painful experiences awaken us to the treasures of our blessings.

Just as the work of our physical body is to break down the food we eat through the digestion process, providing life-affirming assimilation to our energetic being, so too the pain of life must be digested to fuel our full emotional and spiritual growth.

There is beautiful, magical synergy between the body and the mind available to us when we make a choice to experience the fullness of life through the highs and lows and everything in between. The path will be bumpy and we will experience rainy days.

And this too, will be imprinted on the subconscious mind.

But just as daylight follows darkness, we are promised the sun will rise again for us as well.

Course correcting

Our physical being is a reflection of our body’s ability to assimilate food into fuel. And our life is a reflection of our emotional and spiritual health. Our access to life’s flow will be negatively impacted when these aspects are out of balance.

And this too, will be imprinted on the subconscious mind.

Life shows us when it’s time for a course correction.

Paving the way

Because we are energetic beings, we will align with matching energy. Always.

We can struggle, push and pull our way toward a course correction. We can focus on what’s wrong and try to fix it. And in the process we will fuel the energy of broken-ness in our subconscious mind, leaving us wondering [again] why things just never go our way.

OR, we can shift our focus toward the countless blessings we are gifted with each of us every day. We can live with gratitude.

Abundance, in all its aspects, creates the flow of life. And, if we’re not living the moments of our life in the energy of appreciation and gratitude we will obstruct abundance.

It can’t find us because we are not an energetic match.

Cultivating a mindset of gratitude teaches us that we can’t pick and choose what we are grateful for. If we are grateful for life, we are naturally grateful for all of it. There are lessons in all of life, even when it appears, on the surface, to be something we want to say ‘no’ to.

Gratitude requires practice until it becomes a way of life, providing rewarding results. We practice by paying attention and acknowledging the beauty of life; the big and the small details of our daily experience that are so easily overlooked.

Acknowledging the pain

Choosing gratitude over pain doesn’t deny that there are problems, that bad things happen, and that darkness is also part of life. Digesting and assimilating the dark side of life allows us to grow emotionally and spiritually.

“Gratitude rescues us from negativity.” ~ Robert Emmons

Viewing life through the lens of gratitude

Developing a grateful worldview is a practice worth cultivating. It is a high vibration frequency. And since ‘like’ energies attract, it will expand and generate more of the same emotion, resulting in experiencing more aspects of an abundant, free-flowing life.

The benefits of gratitude are well documented and speak for themselves. It supports physical and mental health, builds connection with others and strengthens our beliefs about life.

Gratitude opens our heart and raises our consciousness, refocusing our thoughts away from what’s missing in life toward what is present. It generates feelings of peace, happiness, contentment, optimism and joy.

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings” ~ William Arthur Ward

As we, in the US, gather this week to celebrate our Thanksgiving holiday and join the rest of the world in moving into the new year ahead, we have a choice to make.

We can choose to live each day with a grateful heart. It is an active decision that will fuel not only our individual but our collective future as well. For we are all connected by a universal beating heart.

We have so much to be grateful for. Life is both beautiful and bountiful as this 5-minute video poignantly portrays.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

The early days of my transformational journey were lonely. So many questions. So many challenges. So much uncertainty.

I just kept plugging away. I walked a lot. I read a lot. I thought a lot. Too much probably. I wanted answers and I wanted them now.

And then one day, as I practiced half-shoulder-stands in the room with the gawd-awful pink wallpaper in the rental house in a location I didn’t want to live, I let go of my desperation and silently asked the simple question.

“What should I be doing?”

And in the instant I let my guard down and aligned with the energy that held my question, I received my answer.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Plain as day. I heard the words so clearly it was as though the person who spoke them was in the room with me.

It startled me and my head instantly checked-in to question whether I really heard it.

“What?” I asked again in silence.

The voice was softer this time, as if from a more distant location. But very clearly, the words were repeated.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Years have passed, yet I remain in awe of the awakening. Many questions remained and it didn’t point my way to a yellow brick road with a sign that said “right this way Rita.”

But a quiet place inside of me was comforted by the knowledge that I was not alone. And I understood intuitively, that the answers are not out there somewhere waiting for me to finally figure out where they’re hidden.

I found the faith that would lead me where I needed to go to reveal from inside of me, what I needed to do.

I can still hear the voice and am frequently reminded to “just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Just for the record darling, not all positive change feels positive in the beginning.” ~S.C. Lourie

It’s not an easy thing to do, to just keep doing what you’re doing. There’s discord between my outer and inner worlds. And the monkeys in my mind are often warring.

The outer world gnaws at me reminding me of ‘this problem’ and ‘that thing’ that isn’t going the way I want it to. Consciously, I cling to the belief that there’s a lot that needs fixing in me and my life.

Yet, my inner world, in the moments during meditation, or walking, or even writing, where I let go of my need to know everything and just be still, I am very aware that all is well just as it is.

All is well in this moment. And this one. And this one. Never mind the next moment. And the previous moment is used up too.

I’m good with that right now.

But what about the moments when I’m stuck in traffic or late for an appointment. Or I have a headache and am consumed by stress? Or there’s a family issue or a world crisis?

What about those moments, my head demands?

My soul answers quietly, assuredly, that’s where the treasure lies, my friend.

The beauty of a life well lived, lies in the treasures of the journey we travel. For that is how we are transformed.

Our journey reveals itself to us through the decisions we make and the actions we take. Every day.

It creates the present moment and paves the way for a future that may or may not be similar to the present moment. Or the past moment.

Your choice. My choice. Everyone’s choice.

But just like snowflakes, raindrops and fingerprints, none of them are the same.

But all of them rise from the same voice of wisdom that guides us to “just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” ~Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist

Free will got us where we are through our choices. And free will will get us where we’re going by the same route. It will take us where our thoughts, beliefs and the choices we make are leading.

If life is working perfectly in all areas for you — great! You’ve got it going. Just keep doing what you’re doing and stay conscious of your thoughts, beliefs and choices. Your life will tell you if you’re following your heart.

And if parts or all of your life aren’t working, that will be obvious too — great! You’ve got it going. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Making a few choices differently will ultimately affect your thoughts and beliefs and be reflected back to you in the reality of your life. Your heart will tell you the truth every time.

You see, “just keep doing what you’re doing” doesn’t mean you keep doing everything the same way….forever. It means keep doing what feels right for you and adjust when necessary….forever.

Your life will tell you if you’re following your heart. Listen. Pay attention.

There will always be questions. And there will always be places that demand your attention.

There will always be possibility. And there will always be choice.

And that, my friend, is where your treasure lies.

Namaste.

“The cosmos is within us.” ~Carl Sagan

Nothing special occupied my thoughts on this cloudy day, as I drove down the main street in my hometown. Stopped by a traffic light, I waited to make my left turn toward home.

Then I saw her. The woman in red.

Waiting on the corner across the street was a woman dressed completely in red. She was very large and sitting haphazardly in a wheelchair with a caregiver at her side. It was clear her disability was significant.

And, in a magical moment, the clouds parted slightly, bathing the woman in red with the light of the sun.

It shown down on her alone, like a spotlight from the heavens. On one end of this massive beam of light sat the woman in red. And on the other end was the universe.

Her physical form was but a tiny speck in the vast field of energy that emanated from her being.

Imagine the sequence of events necessary to experience this synchronistic moment when I was gifted with a visual representation of a concept that can be difficult to comprehend.

Never again, would I question the reality of everything is energy; for I witnessed it with my own eyes.

What I would question however, is my dedication to everything in my own physical reality.

When your paradigm shifts so does your life

Paradigms are the rules and assumptions that govern how we live our lives.

If we believe our circumstances dictate our existence, we will have a very different life than if we understand we are aspects of the magnificent field of possibility.

The physical aspect of our energy field is, indeed the size of a grain of sand in comparison to this field of possibility. If we operate from the paradigm of ‘everything is energy,’ we are free to choose between our circumstances and our potential.

Even when our circumstances appear dire.

Perhaps you remember the Ice Bucket Challenge from a few years ago. Pete Frates, the 27-year-old man diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) is the guy who challenged his paradigm about the meaning of his life and stepped into the field of possibility even in the face of a tragic diagnosis. (to view video, hover over the box below and click the pop-up link)

The powerful story behind the man who inspired the Ice Bucket Challenge

If Pete’s dedication to his circumstances had prevailed do you think he would have fallen in love, gotten married, had a child and launched a viral campaign to fund research for this deadly disease?

Pete stepped wholeheartedly into the field of possibility and took a whole bunch of people along with him — despite his disease ravaged physical circumstances.

We are challenged by stories like this to look at ourselves and ask the difficult question — what would I have done if it were me?

For most of us, we’ve experienced our own dire circumstances. As I take stock of my own life, I see places where I’ve stepped into the vastness of my potential. And I see places where I’m tethered to my circumstances. I’m just guessing, but chances are Pete’s life is the same way.

It’s the journey we’re all on.

Where is the field of possibility

The field of possibility is not a destination.

It’s not outside of you. As Carl Sagan stated, “The cosmos is within us.” Each and every one of us. We know it’s true because everything is energy and therefore we are all connected. And you can take that to the bank, my friend.

This is an inside job. It’s in letting go and surrendering that we access that inner intelligence that is pure potential.

You’ll know when you’re there by how you feel. You’ll feel energetic. You’ll get things done and your life will feel as it should be.

On the outside you’ll still look the same and face some of the same challenges. Every day. So, you’ll still be recognizable to yourself and others.

But on the inside….oh, the inside. When you’re in the field of possibility there’s magic happening. There’s a free-flow of creativity and boundless energy. All is well — even if circumstances appear dire.

“One’s only failure is failing to live up to one’s own possibilities.” ~ Abraham Maslow

Connecting with the field

Just like the internet and cell phone service — our connection to the field of possibility will be intermittent. Like everything else — it requires commitment followed by practice.

Here’s a few tips to help with connectivity:

· Train your brain to rest

Meditation, mindfulness activities — any activity that focuses inwardly will help you connect with the field of possibility. Dedicate time daily to practice this.

· Spend time with Mother Nature

This is one of the fastest and most productive tools for accessing the higher vibration of the field of possibility. Even in the middle of a busy city, it’s possible to turn down the volume of stress and allow the brain some stillness by stepping outside and moving your body.

· Drink plenty of water

According to the USGS, “The earth is a watery place.” The adult body is approximately 75% water — babies and children’s are about 80%. There’s more data on this subject than I can decipher, but it’s safe to say the human body and planet earth are very nearly the same percentage of water. So, it stands to reason that a hydrated body and mind will be more likely to function optimally in coherence with the magnetic field in every way. For the curious-minded check out this link: https://water.usgs.gov/edu/earthhowmuch.html

· Eat real food

Garbage in, garbage out was never more important than it is now. Toxicity will impede your access to the purity of the magnetic field. We are, in fact, what we eat. So eat real food.

· Get a good night’s sleep every night

It’s next to impossible to find the flow when you’ve got an exhausted body, mind and soul. Getting enough sleep is tough in our action crazed culture. But it is so incredibly important. So at least commit to trying. And if you’re committed to the goal, it will take more than trying. It will take doing.

It’s so simple, yet we make it so hard

In the US alone, we spend tens of Billions of dollars annually on self-help looking for ways to fix what we think is wrong with us. There are countless healing resources available thus supporting us in becoming our best selves.

But what is generally overlooked is the truth we are already our best self all wrapped up in one nice little package.

Forget about becoming. Our best life is about being.

It’s an inside job that involves peeling back layers to reveal what is already there, ready and waiting for us to align with.

It’s the field of possibility.

February 23, 2015 — a stunningly beautiful winter day forever captured in my memory.

Car problems derailed my morning plans for working at a coffee shop. So, I had my car towed, picked up a loaner and headed to the coffee shop to finally get some work done.

But, for no explainable reason, I decided to stop at home first; taking an out-of-my-way and totally unnecessary detour.

Met at the front door by a freaked out cat, an unusual sound coming from the kitchen, and a growing pool of water inching into the living room, I realized a pipe had burst and our house was flooding.

As it turned out, water can do a lot of damage in one short hour. I don’t even want to think about what would have happened had I ignored my hunch and spent a few hours on my computer in a coffee shop.

And I’m grateful for the suggestion that popped unexpectedly into my head and the awareness that led to investigating the idea.

So what was that suggestion that triggered the response to stop at home (out of the way) before going to the coffee shop? It wasn’t a thought. I hadn’t forgotten something. There was no fear or anxiety around it.

It was an unexplainable, even undefinable, knowingness that took me home.

in·tu·i·tion, /int(y)o͞oˈiSH(ə)n/noun

the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.

Intuition is one of life’s mysteries.

It’s elusive knowledge that is not generated in our subconscious or our conscious mind. It isn’t memory based (subconscious mind) and it certainly isn’t a product of logic or intellect (conscious mind).

Call it a hunch, a gut feeling, an awareness or understanding, intuition is a simplistic “knowingness” that is still widely debated in scientific circles. While its existence isn’t questioned, what it is and where it comes from depends on who you ask.

Intuition is one of those “things” we sometimes aren’t even aware of in the moment but can usually recall after the fact.

Ask a person whose life was saved by not getting in a car or on a plane that crashed, or saw a doctor “on a hunch” or won a lottery the only time they’ve ever bought a ticket — they’ll likely tell you they can’t explain it. It was just something they “knew.”

Or, ask a person who ignored a hunch and wishes they hadn’t.

Intuition is the wisdom of the ages

While the debate continues about where intuition comes from, one very plausible theory holds that it stems from the field of unified consciousness.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the yogic disciple responsible for bringing the meditation technique of Transcendental Meditation to the Western World states specifically:

“The unified field is fundamentally a field of consciousness.”

Intuition and the mind are frequently opposing forces. We don’t receive intuitive information when our subconscious mind is looping or our conscious mind is analyzing.

We receive intuitive hits when we are in the flow of life. When we are in the flow we release our barriers to the field of unified consciousness. This is when we are open to receive true knowledge.

The unified field of consciousness (universal energy) is where true knowledge resides.

And the unified field of consciousness contains the wisdom of the ages.

How do we access our intuitive mind

So, if true knowledge (intuition) resides in the field of unified consciousness (universal energy) how does it make its way into our consciousness?

Intuition is energy and everything is energy. Therefore, intuition is an aspect of ourselves. Always there. Always accessible. Always working on our behalf. Always. Always. Always.

Nice to know isn’t it?

How will we recognize intuitive knowledge

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. ~Albert Einstein

Our rational mind (the servant) is always trying to work things out and our subconscious mind shows us where our energy is. Our ego, in an effort to maintain the status quo, questions the voice of our intuition urging us to doubt its truth. The ego is your small voice, your voice of fear. And the job of fear is to create more of it.

The rational mind is also the one that can’t make up it’s mind. It debates everything based upon previous experiences and their success/failure. It’s an uneasy feeling. It’s doubts everything and thrives on fear.

The intuitive mind is the voice of our inner wisdom. It never misleads us. It never abandons or lies to us. It never goes to battle with anyone or anything. It never ignites struggle. It never creates or casts doubt. It never judges. And it never leads us astray from our highest self.

The voice of your unique intuitive mind will:

o provide knowingness, confidence and optimism

o be be subtle, loving and persistently kind in sharing its truth

o speak in different ways — some can be through our senses, our dreams, our emotions and even with spoken word.

o feel like peacefulness, sureness and easiness. It is the feeling of safety that comes when we have aligned with what is true for us.

6 tips to help you become more intuitive

· Moments of heightened awareness are fertile ground for intuitive communication. Messages may flow in this state.

· Intuition is most accessible from a quiet mind. Practicing mindfulness techniques will lower your stress, increasing your connection with the unified field of energy and your intuition.

· All forms of Meditation also quiet your mind allowing you to receive intuitive guidance.

· Focused energy in any activity creates an opening to the higher mind. Activities like gardening, writing, art, music, cooking, studying, working and exercise all connect us with the state of flow where we are connected to the unified field.

· Spending time in nature can open pathways of connection with the unified field and may allow the voice of intuition to be heard.

· Expressing appreciation and gratitude and feelings of love and happiness also open our connection with the flow of life.

· Intuition is more available when we are in a state of detachment from a specific situation and outcome. What that means is that your answer might not arrive while you’re in the middle of a crisis.

Connecting with our inner world to access the secrets of life isn’t unique to our current world culture. It’s not just for leading edge thinkers, or the enlightened. It speaks to our purpose in life. To our growth and development. Our spirituality and our connection.

Film classic ‘The Wizard of Oz’ released in 1939 painted a picture of this question that still resonates with us today. We seek the same answers that Glinda, The Good Witch taught Dorothy.

We still follow our own bumpy, yellow brick road in search of something or someone outside of ourselves to tell us what to do; to fix it for us.

And still, it is only when we are awakened from the dream of OZ that we accept as truth what we’ve always known.

“You always had the power my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.” ~Glinda, The Good Witch

PS: If this resonates with you, please post a comment, give it a clap or two and share it with someone who might enjoy the read. Thank you kindly!

The year was 1993. The movie, for me, would have been long forgotten if not for an annual reminder.

February 2nd every year is Groundhog Day.

The annual “holiday” in early February that started long before Super Bowl Sunday, provides a farcical distraction from what everyone in the northern hemisphere is feeling: desperate for spring.

Entertaining, amusing and annoying, as Bill Murray movies generally are, Groundhog Day was only moderately successful when it was released. Since then it has become one of those Hollywood classics that’s taken decades to be understood.

As the story goes, TV weatherman Phil Connor (Bill Murray) finds himself, once again with the assignment of reporting on the annual Groundhog Day event in Punxsutawney, PA. As if one day wasn’t enough, Phil finds himself stuck in a time loop that repeats the same day over and over and over again.

Murray, a master of facial expression, clearly reflects back to us in this role, the monotony of a life of repetition, habit and apathy. Phil plods disinterestedly through the same day of predictable conversations, mishaps and negativity. Repeatedly, as though the day had never happened before.

The predictability in a future exactly same as the past becomes more than hedonistic Phil can endure. He plots multiple suicidal options, and fails in his only attempt to escape the boredom. Phil hit rock bottom.

Saved from himself, he realized the only way out was up. He would need to change.

Freeing yourself from monotony

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” ~ Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist

In a trial and error fashion, Phil clumsily navigated becoming a likeable person — a person more like someone he admired; TV news producer Rita (Andie McDowell).

Following her example, he shifted his focus from his life of pain to a life of giving. And in taking his attention off himself he began connecting with life outside himself.

He re-framed the repeating Groundhog Day experience. And in so doing, Phil set the people he interacted with during groundhog day free from the monotony of living the same day repeatedly and indefinitely.

As Phil’s heart opened his energy expanded, and he connected with people in new ways.

And he got the girl. He and Rita fell in love.

What does it all mean

Years later, for me, this movie has become a brilliant metaphor providing valuable insight into the miracle of the human mind.

There is well-documented, scientific proof that our thoughts have energy. They create our reality.

As Phil’s desire to change became stronger than his negative thoughts about his current predicament, his vibration changed. The energy of his thoughts produced a different outcome.

Phil was no longer an equal vibration to repeating groundhog’s day another time. It no longer fit.

What did fit for Phil was the energy of connection, of kindness, of love for others, of living outside of the confines of the self. And life reflected back to him where his energy was placed.

What he received was equal to what he offered.

It’s really as simple as that

Once you know something, you can’t not know it any more. Stepping back into that groundhog’s day would never be available to Phil again. He was no longer an energetic match to it.

To be sure, there could be other facets of that experience that might challenge Phil in the future. But the same experience? Nope.

Was Phil a different person? Nope.

Phil was still Phil. He looked the same. He sounded the same. Still sarcastic and somewhat self-centered.

Still flawed. Like we all are. Forever.

What you resist persists

When Phil stopped fighting the reality of groundhog’s day, its energy weakened, allowing him to connect to something greater…possibility.

Possibility opens us up to potential. Even unlimited potential.

It’s an opportunity to surrender to what is waiting for us; a higher version of ourselves. It’s a call to connect with our heart as freely as we operate from our head.

Phil’s decision to choose a different path was a reflection of his heart’s desire.

Yes, aspects of life might always feel like we’re stuck in groundhog day. Daily routines and commitments are the reality of the world we live in.

But within those parameters we have the choice of how we approach our day. There is opportunity in every day. There is beauty in every day. There is wonder and awe and the chance to live in fullness.

And while the story-book ending was a bit cliché it still rings true. Our journey through life asks for input from both our head and our heart.

It’s a team effort.

When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen every time the sun rises ~ Paulo Cohelo, The Alchemist

“I’m planning to move back into my house on the first of the month.”

The words sucked the air out of me for a few minutes before their reality totally sunk in.

School was starting in three weeks in the small community we were living in at the time of our landlord’s announcement. It would be next to impossible to find a place to live in the given timeframe. Escorted to the door, he departed and we were left to face our fear and ponder our options.

Reeling from the bombshell that had just been dropped on us, we opted to ‘sleep on it.’ Perhaps tomorrow would provide a more optimistic perspective on our situation. As events played out over the next few weeks, what became clear was the silver lining in what initially appeared to be a crisis.

Serendipity was at play in this unexpected turn of events. One month later we found ourselves moving into a home we had purchased in a new location 900 miles away. The covert aspects of this move, though very necessary at the time, were painful.

However, this was the culmination of an intention and a vision we had set for our family, several years and two relocations before.

The Backstory

While the youngest of our children played outside, my husband and I sat on the couch, surrounded by books and notebooks and spreadsheets. We had relocated to a new state a couple of years earlier. And, although we were enjoying the weather, the plethora of activities, the education and our time together, it was clear this wasn’t the right place for us. We wanted to relocate.

We had a major decision to make. And it was time to take life seriously. Although we couldn’t put our finger on why we were taking the time and effort to go through this process, we found ourselves following the thread. We were done messing around.

Disillusioned by the uncertainty of where life was taking us, we decided instead to design the life we wanted for our family.

As we researched, talked and planned, we unwittingly planted the seeds of a vision for the life we wanted to live. We defined it. And then we got out of the way.

The next few years would take us to two new cities, even back to the state we had wanted to leave, introducing us to new people, places and experiences that would shape our lives in unexpected and profound ways.

Life was good. But it wasn’t really what we planned. Some pretty major elements of our vision were still missing. And we knew we weren’t home yet.

And so it was that as we were asked to pack our bags and move, we found ourselves faced with another major decision about what we really wanted for our family. Our landlord wanted his house back. And, ultimately we wanted to move to a different location for our growing children.

Against all odds, with just three weeks to make it happen, we took our greatest leap of faith.

And as the saying goes, and the art on my wall reminds me … the net appeared. We found home.

In Retrospect

That 5-year period involving 4 inter-state relocations was a challenging time of life. And it was also incredibly transformational.

The hours spent designing our lives prepared the soil for the seeds of our vision to be planted. But the transformation from a bed of seeds to a mature garden doesn’t happen overnight. Days pass before the seedling bursts through the garden soil. And many more weeks of watering and weeding will go by before it’s ready for harvest.

This held true for our vision as well. Although we wanted to harvest our garden N O W but it wasn’t even close to being ready. Planting the seeds of our vision was just its foundation … it needed time and tending in order to flourish. If you harvest the tomatoes before they’re ripe, they’ll just be disappointing. It required a lot of patience too.

That’s a tough lesson to learn when navigating the distance between where you are and where you want to be seems to take an eternity.

There were lessons in every boulder that stood in our way. There was work to be done before the next step in the process would be revealed. Our resolve would be tested and tears of frustration would flow.

Perceptions would shift and paradigms altered. This was the work of transformation that was necessary before our vision could become reality.

Creating a different life would require being a different person.

And, as we moved — sometimes stumbled, through those years, we were quietly evolving in preparation to align to the vibration of a different reality. We didn’t get up in the morning with a decision to change this or that about ourselves. We went on with life.

But it’s clear in retrospect — we were being “worked on” by the invisible force of energy — whatever you choose to call it, that is always, always, always working on our behalf.

And, when the time was right and we were ready, everything came together in a burst of energy that moved mountains to get us where we wanted to be.

What had appeared to be an unexpected crisis that led to our 900 mile move to a new state and and new home, signaled the completion of our vision. We were ready to harvest our garden.

It’s true that the gift is not in arriving. It’s in the person you become while you’re on your way.

The passage of time has provided magnificent perspective on those years. We lived with a lot of uncertainty and even fear. There were plenty of times when it was scary and hard.

Transformational was not the adjective I would have used at the time.

Yet, in hindsight, it’s clear that it was an incredibly transformational period of life that changed the trajectory for each of our lives. I am proud of what we accomplished and grateful for all we experienced — even the tough stuff.

Defining what you want in life changes how you live your life. Choosing not to settle builds courage, provides clarity and even purpose. It raises the bar on your expectations for life.

And it will set you free from the the prison of mediocrity.

“The difference between mediocrity and excellence is often a matter of effort.” ~Diana Waring

Two Words. Three letters and a space.

We unequivocally define ourselves to both our outer and, more importantly, our inner world with these two words…

I AM. . .

I am tired. I’m hungry. I’m broke. I am desperate. I am angry. I am overwhelmed. I’m too old. I’m no good at this. I’m not going to make it. I am sick of (fill in the blank)

On the positive side, we state: I’m okay. I am grateful. I am in love. I’m gonna do this. I am happy. I’m doing all right. I am proud. I am loved.

How many times each day do we speak these words out loud or in our thoughts? How are we affected when we absent-mindedly make statements like this?

Negatively for sure. For the subconscious mind never sleeps and is always listening.

The Subconscious Mind

Whether we think these thoughts or speak them, our proclamations are received via the conscious mind, recorded and transmitted to our ‘mother board,’ the subconscious mind.

It’s unlimited storage capacity begins in utero to filter, catalog, and permanently store every single bit of information from our lives. It has no opinion or conscience. It can’t tell whether we’re joking and accepts instruction without question.

The subconscious mind simply does what the conscious mind tells it to do. And the more frequent the command from the conscious mind, the more likely it is to be accepted as truth and manifest in our reality.

Bottom line: The subconscious mind doesn’t make choices. So the more we define ourselves as tired, the more tired we will be. And the more we proclaim our gratitude, the more gratitude we’ll experience.

We are who we say we are.

The Conscious Mind

The conscious mind, despite its limited capacity, provides the only access to the subconscious mind. It is objective, intellectual and logical. This is the home of free will; the double edged sword that allows us to choose either what is for our highest good, or our smallest self. Our words play a key role in the outcome.

The words we think and speak carry energy that is both a reflection of our inner world and an announcement to our external energy field of what we want more of. Every word we use reinforces a belief we have, whether it’s true for us or not. Without exception.

The reality of our current life shows us the prominent beliefs in our subconscious mind. It’s likely many of the beliefs that are running our adult lives were adopted during infancy and childhood as we learned about life without the filter of experience.

Perhaps our ‘mother board’ is due for an update.

7 Tips for Changing Your Mind

· It is the job of the CONSCIOUS mind to update the programming of the subconscious mind. Empower your conscious mind by accepting responsibility for your thoughts and words, for they will form your new belief systems.

· Define yourself. Make a list of true-for-you I AM statements and keep it in a handy place (like a note on your phone) for easy access when you need a reminder. These can be future goals such as I am happy in my work, I am healthy etc. Just make sure to write them in the present tense.

· Select a handful of your I AM statements and repeat them out loud daily. Hearing your voice saying them gives them more energy to feed the subconscious mind.

· Like using food as fuel to create a healthy body, if we want a healthy mind, we must use our thoughts and words as fuel too. And, BTW, a healthy body will support a healthy mind and vice versa.

· Taking action in favor of a new belief builds energy. Take action daily with focused intent. Create a mantra. Practice the feeling of your new belief. Act as though it’s already your reality. The stronger your conviction the greater your reward.

· Practice, practice, practice. Depending on how entrenched your beliefs are, this can take practice. And then one day you’ll notice, you’re living the experience you’ve been practicing. Your vision will have become your reality.

· Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was your antiquated belief system. So be kind to yourself. Save perfection for your golf game or your first soufflé. Just start.

Bit by bit, a little becomes a lot.