I had an unexpected moment of grace the other day. I made an iced latte and headed outdoors to the wide deck wrapped around our peaceful home in the forest. Cranking up a turmeric colored umbrella evicted five bats hoping to crash out in canopy folds for the day.

We were familiar and shared close quarters before. I stood still, trusting their sonar abilities as they spread their wings and flew away. Bats are a worldwide symbol for the process of rebirth. Shedding old patterns to make way for new designs. They ushered in this experience.

I sat down and savored a sip of coffee. Appreciating the true-blue sky and sun glancing off the luminescent wings of dragonflies flitting by. Fir tips nodded in a teasing breeze. The only sound was a buzzing of bees in nearby flowers.

The world slowed down. I became a silent observer.

Out of stillness emerged an unexpected tsunami of gratitude. Wave after wave of positive, pivotal memories I hadn’t revisited in decades were slowly passing across my field of vision.

Hitching rides with a backpack and trusting goodwill in others every step of the way. Through naivety and trust when I was younger, and as the years passed, a knowing courage.

Gaining new perspectives from diverse cultures while searching for the keys to my inner codes. Images continued flowing, each bearing a signature of joy.

And the message. This is who you are.

My body instinctively opened to the emotionally coherent energy. I’ve felt this sensation before. It always takes place in nature. I began deep breathing to adjust my frequencies.

Benevolence was holding a kaleidoscope to my eye and shuffling images of pivotal moments and the beneficial influence they had on my decisions.

I became amused at what a wild young fool I had been. And again, for the wild old fool I’ve remained. I learned the power of discernment by necessity, but I kept on trucking with a flag of peace and steady resilience.

Perils appeared, but forces from unseen realms often manifested a field of protection. And I realized how those necessary and challenging events created deeper heart streams through trials by fire.

A travel buddy and I strided through my vision. Forging our way down the Amazon River without a clue about the adventure we embarked on. Armed with a braid of garlic to ward off malaria, we became actors in a Spaghetti Western under the Southern Cross.

It was a hairy journey in 1977, and we had no guarantee of reaching the coast intact. And yet, two months later, we were eating ripe mangoes in a cemetery in Belem, Brazil, at the river’s mouth.

I was in dire need of this unexpected reminder of the many blessings I’ve been freely given. I didn’t realize how dry my coffers had become by taking on a project I couldn’t imagine two short months ago.

I decided to study politics this summer. America was shifting rapidly from the land of the free and home of the brave to one of self-imprisonment and a distinct lack of courage in upholding values.

I wanted to understand how and why this despairing movement was taking place and the forces that fueled it. My free time was dedicated to listening to independent podcasts from multiple sources and personal research.

I wrestled with the deliberate transgressions against humanity and the perverse streak of cruelty and lack of moral compass in those imposing them. I was triggered over and over due to events in my past.

Emotional patterns I thought I had cleared up long ago came back to haunt me. I revisited scenes where people in authority tried to control my actions simply because I didn’t follow the norm.

These memories invoked the inner warrior of my youth. I was a strong woman who moved through life with passionate engagement and an open heart.

I read the summary of Project 2025 last summer. I knew what to expect post-election when rich, entitled men began trashing marginalized populations. I also knew it wouldn’t take long before their overreach touched every woman in sight.

I counterbalanced my political education with daily doses of nature, yoga, and potent sound healings to keep my heart embers lit. I was determined to get to the bottom of why so many chose willful ignorance to the point of their own undoing.

Several of my friends joined spiritual cults in the 60s and 70s, inspiring me to study their dynamics. There isn’t a great difference between a political and a spiritual cult. They both demand giving your power over to another, something I’ve never been interested in.

I dove deeper into the tarpit. Shining a flashlight into dark corners of piled-up junk. Hoping to find glimmers of reason and logic I could relate to. It’s subjective territory. The inner shadow archetype is created from personal experiences we haven’t brought to light or choose not to process.

A big part of my journey has been the integration of feminine and masculine principles. I became an explorer and didn’t realize I was emphasizing and operating from masculine principles to carry out my dreams.

I was shocked when I fully grasped I had been suppressing the feminine principle. I guarded my vulnerabilities for survival reasons, but a time arrived to set myself free.

I was thirty-five, fruit fasting, and mostly alone for three weeks on a tiny island in Fiji. I circled the white sand shore and swam in turquoise water with a growing awareness of a big shift on the way.

Two nights before the end of my stay, I experienced an alchemical initiation called “Sacred Marriage.” It has diverse labels in different countries, but it’s a universal theme in mystical teachings and religions.

Embodiment carries both masculine and feminine principles regardless of our gender. Allowing both to merge into one within my being altered my perceptions. A knowing of holism was planted.

This was a time-released, alchemical initiation supporting the mission I chose in life. I remembered we are whole beings. We hold our own authority. This awareness carries me through rough waters and lands me safely back on shore to this day.

I mention this experience because many of us are holding false and outdated beliefs about the roles we play in our modern societies.

Women are gaining the strength that was once relegated to men. I’ve successfully defended myself twice when my life was in danger. It’s important to me to remain fit and strong. And I’ve always made my own money.

I made these determinations at a young age and discovered some males were threatened by female self-empowerment.

Women are assuming roles that men thought belonged to them and vice versa. Some men have chosen to be stay-at-home dads by preference. Nurturing children may be more natural to them than it is to their wives.

We can all access both male and female qualities. It’s a matter of gaining skills. No one needs to be persecuted for adding more tools to their box.

I’ve had enough of investigating shadows in cults for now. They’re constructed through fear and impose restrictions to bring us down. Energy vampires circle above those who live in dread of change and the unknown. Their base is easily shaken, and they take guidance from hungry ghosts.

It’s a tilt-a-wheel carnival out there in the world. The big shift predicted years ago by mystics is now on the front burner. This summer, I learned once again how vital it is to keep a foot planted securely in both inner and outer worlds.

How do we do that? One way is to remember we are complete within ourselves.

The patriarchal pyramid is structured on corruption. It takes advantage of the needy who do the bidding of the rich. It’s an illusion. Equality is the future.

Numerous shadows are being exposed on all platforms. They can’t be eradicated until they’re seen in the light and called out for reformation.

Paradigms that have been in place as long as history has been recorded are crashing down. They are no longer of service to humanity. We are witnessing the death throes of those who cling to non-sustainable forms of power.

I don’t know how long I was in an altered state the other day. It was enough time to view the cycles more than seven decades of life have provided. The momentary grace I was recently given allowed me to step back from the field I had been exploring.

I feel like I’ve returned from a trip to the land of the walking dead. This summer of political investigation and reflection has provided a bounty of courage for moving forward.

An eagle flew by. I hitched an imaginary flight. Together, we soared in the thermals of the future, where equality was a given and people lived in peace. I felt my spirit soar and glimmer.

Know you are whole beings and trust your inner teachers.

My gratitude to May More and Know Thyself, Heal Thyself for publishing this piece.

Light Robbers Almost Stole My Joy was originally published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.