The Turning Point

this grammar isn’t worth
my humanity — 
your language learning
journey isn’t more
important than
my dignity

©2023 R.J.Quirk. All rights reserved.

Author’s Comments

The above poem memorializes the moment I finally decided to honor myself.

I am a non-binary ESL teacher and for quite some time, I allowed standard English curricula to make me invisible in my own classroom. Rather than confronting blind spots, I forced myself to fit the limitations of the lesson plans and censored LGBTQ+ language from my students — effectively censoring my own queer embodiment.

Everything changed when I made the decision to teach LGBTQ2S+ language whenever possible (yes, that includes a commitment to decolonial and anti-racist language). And it was the best decision I ever made.

Although I offer private and group courses, I mostly teach Queer English on an online platform called Cambly. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to make a little extra income, especially fellow Medium writers.

If you sign up using this link, I get a kickback. Seriously, thank you for directly supporting a struggling trans writer!

I get paid to chat with people from around the world. Join Cambly today!

Here are 10 amazing things that happened when I stopped censoring my lessons:

1. Every question stopped coming with a microaggression attached

Before I decided to teach Queer English, I let my students misgender me in every interaction. In my head, I was doing it ‘for the sake of their language learning.’ In reality, I was participating in the delegitimization of Queer language and — by extension — queer people, ultimately gatekeeping contemporary English from my students.

Not only did this decision hurt me, but I was doing a disservice to my students by failing to teach them how to be more accurate and flexible with their speaking skills.

500th Time (microaggressions) — a poem

2. I prepared LGBTQ+ students to study abroad

When I started teaching LGBTQ2S+ language, the most amazing thing happened: my students came out to me. From them, I learned students from countries with strict LGBTQ+ policies see English — and studying abroad — as an escape route.

Having been an immigrant myself, I understand that navigating the LGBTQ+ community in a second language is a vulnerable process. Between cultural differences, language mishaps, and lack of social support, LGBTQ+ immigrants are at high risk for unwanted sexual experiences.

It’s no wonder that LGBTQ+ vocabulary, tips on finding queer community, and learning to negotiate sexual consent are among my most popular lessons with LGBTQ+ students preparing to study abroad.

3. I taught non-LGBTQ+ people how to respectfully talk about LGBTQ+ issues and people

LGBTQ+ students aren’t the only ones who benefit from Queer English lessons. My non-LGBTQ+ students also benefit.

Learning a new language is often about learning to navigate culturally significant conversations (think holidays, traditions, and value systems). Studying LGBTQ2S+ language gives my students the opportunity to practice discussing complex cultural issues — improving their overall English. At the very least, it gives them the skills to be respectful when they encounter LGBTQ+ people in English. And since most people want to be respectful when visiting a different country, this is useful knowledge.

4. I learned about LGBTQ+ history, lore, and traditions from all over the world

In class, my students are eager to share their own LGBTQ+ history and cultural norms. Through them, I’ve learned about LGBT Hindu gods, LGBT characters in Chinese Mythology, and LGBT themes in Islamic art. I’ve also learned about how communities all over the world signal their queerness.

The more my students teach me, the more I realize that LGBTQ+ people have existed in every place and every possible time period. We are not going anywhere and it’s completely inappropriate for English curricula to ignore our realities.

5. I became emotionally involved in the LGBTQ+ crisis in Turkey

It’s been a difficult year for the LGBTQ+ community in Turkey.

For starters, the current president was re-elected on an anti-LGBTQ+ campaign — leaving many Turkish Queers feeling unsafe. Then, earlier this month, the Istanbul pride parade was prohibited by the government. When LGBTQ+ protestors came out anyway, over 50 people were detained by the police.

Due to a deep connection with my genderfluid, lesbian, gay, and bisexual students in Turkey, I have become personally connected to this situation. It’s become important that I follow developments closely, so I can be prepared to support my students when big events happen.

Police detain 50 after Pride march in Istanbul

6. I became a confidant for young people in China

As I understand it, filial piety is an especially difficult aspect of being LGBTQ+ in China. Many of my Chinese students are not out to their families and friends. Because of a cultural silence around LGBTQ+ issues, they often struggle to find community. These issues are especially salient for young Chinese people who are financially dependent on their parents.

Given that many students are not open about their LGBTQ+ identity in their everyday lives, our classes often feel more like therapy sessions than English lessons. And I’m okay with that.

7. I helped an older Japanese woman realize she’s asexual

Japan recently passed a hotly debated LGBTQ+ bill, which led me to teach Queer English to one of my students — a married, elderly Japanese woman.

She was one of my first students on Cambly and, although I never planned to teach her LGBTQ+ language, I was reluctant to let her go as a student. In the end, she was the one to bring up LGBTQ+ issues and I’m so glad she did. Talking about the bill not only opened doors for us to do LGBtQ2S+ vocabulary, but it also opened space for us to get to know each other better.

During these conversations, I got to learn about her best friend— a trans man. I got to come out to her as non-binary and teach her how to talk about me respectfully. And best of all, she got to share her sexual history with me, coming to the realization that there was a whole community of asexual people like her.

This taught me a valuable lesson — Queer English is for everyone. You never know who needs it.

Japan Passes Watered-Down Law Promoting LGBT 'Understanding' But Not Rights

8. I linked an underground network of AFAB Queers in Saudi Arabia

One day, I was teaching a new student from Saudi Arabia who came out as a Lesbian during our session. In response, I told her about my many other LGBTQ+ students from Saudi Arabia and she was absolutely shocked, “You know more LGBTQ+ Saudis than I do!”

Although not always the case, fear of family disownment, harassment, and honor killings keeps many of my Saudi students isolated and in the closet.

In response to this issue, I connected a few of my students — who went on to form a small AFAB LGBTQ+ network. For the time being, they are only connected online. But hopefully, they will someday feel safe enough to connect in person.

9. I learned to be loud and proud

When I first started teaching Queer English on Cambly, I did it quietly. It started with a single line near the bottom of my profile. After growing a small student following, my profile got louder and so did my lessons. Eventually, student demand grew until my entire profile was Queer-centric and I no longer censored my lessons — even among those who booked me without reading my profile first.

These days, my first question to new students is: Are you LGBTQ+? Which catches some randos off guard. For the most part, these students respond positively (or at least hide their bigotry). This has given me the confidence to be loud and proud across cultural contexts. After all, I often benefit from foreigner and white privileges, which give me queer leeway. So it’s important that I work to offer a positive LGBTQ+ interaction to all my students.

10. I became a top-rated teacher on Cambly and have more students than I have time to teach.

When I started teaching on Cambly, I was desperate to teach LGBTQ+ students, but I was also afraid of being visible. At the time, I was dealing with housing insecurity and needed money. I feared that being out would hurt my financial prospects.

I’m so glad that I was brave enough to be myself. After 3 months on the platform, I have a 5-start rating (the highest possible), and teach exclusively LGBTQ+ students/ Queer English language. I am in higher demand than I can keep up with and it’s a dream come true.

We need more LGBTQ+ teachers on the platform!

If you sign up to teach through my link, you directly support a struggling trans artist (seriously, thank you!)

I get paid to chat with people from around the world. Join Cambly today!

R.J. is currently writing a poetry series exploring trans/non-binary embodiment. Read their author’s pick here:

I’m Super Into a Trans Girl

Q Street Poetry is a new publication — come write with me!

Call for Writers! Q Street Poetry

I’m a Queer English Teacher was originally published in Q Street Poetry on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.