The busy shuffling and the increasing noise started right at the end of the closing prayer, and a second later the double door bursted open as people carrying all their bags and other stuff filed out in hurried steps towards the other end of the room where the locale of Sao Paolo’s sole exit and entrance laid in wait. Behind the exit double door is the chilly Sao Paolo midnight at 18 degrees Celsius; just the other night the evening was said to have been a hot 27 degrees making it hard to sleep through the night. I watched the people hurrying past, myself unsure what to do whether I should follow or keep still.

“Labas na din kayo para makapili kayo ng mauupuan sa bus” Bro Ceron’s voice snapped me back from the usual depth of my thoughts and just in time answered one of my current question.

I’m a Filipino who’s staying here in Brasil for just a few days, and the people I’ve been silently observing are my brethren this side of the globe. It’s a thousand miles from home, yet being here still feels perfectly like home. As a Christian inside the Members Church of God International, you’d get to have a lot of homes in different parts of the globe, and get to have thousands of brethren you feel like friends you’ve known long ago but have just met again after many years. You feel at eased, you feel at home; brothers and sisters through the same spiritual blood and bound by the all the good works from the Bible we’ve all been taught together twice a week. And these we follow and practice unto all our fellowmen and most especially to our selves, our brethren.

I stepped out the double doors and into the midnight chill, carrying a backpack, a sling bag and a silver luggage in tow. These are everything I’ve carried with me into brasil. It’s imperative I carry it with me now as I’ll be running straight to the airport once this bus we’ll be boarding on returns to Sao Paolo after a 7 hour ride from Divinopolis, and that is where we’ll be heading to in a few moments.

My luggage stowed under the bus, everyone loaded and are in their seats, the driver just about to finish double checking his passenger list with our identification documents and I sat there feeling the excitement growing from the anticipation of the trip to Divinopolis. My seatmate is a little guy named Carlmagen or something, I don’t know how it’s spelled. Lol.

“Bisita yan katabi mo, hindi pa siya kaanib” Bro Tony has climbed up the bus to check on us.

“Aah kaya po pala tahimik”.

A few minutes later, Carl my seatmate is up walking about with a pack of candy from his bag, giving them to everyone from the driver to the last brethren at the back of the bus. Seems a nice guy. :) I pray he continues and gets baptised. He’s mostly asleep the rest of the travel.

We started off at 3 in the morning, right after our Thanksgiving. I set my wristwatch to stopwatch mode and set it running as we started our trip. Everyone is tired and sleepy and we dozed off into the uneventful ride.

I awoke 2 hours later just as the bus came into a halt. We were at our first stop at the Bastella for those who need the toilet or to eat. I took it as my time to look for food and stuff I can bring back to Singapore. Having brought a few, I retired back into the bus and dozed off.

It would be interesting to note that before I exited Bastella and set of for the bus, I eyed a glimpse of a candy named Paçoquita, it’s peanut butter polvoron-like candy and it tastes awesome, but I didn’t manage to buy any and thought that I’ll just keep it in mind to buy those when we get back to the same stop on our way home from Divinopolis.

I’m a light sleeper, thus I woke at around before 6 am. Outside the window on my right was the faint clue of where the sun will be rising, a patch of clouds that was lighter than all the others in the shape of a triangle. I watched outside the window as the scene slowly unfurled itself amidst the grassy hills… to be continued

Forgotten dreams

Of waves of tides;

Once touched my feet

Of tears that once crossed down your cheeks

Of air I breathed

Inhaled

released

I dream of dreams,

Of forgotten dreams

Of clouds that passed me on my sleep

Of old silent children calls

Of shivers down my neck that crawled

Of spiders dead, nightmares and all

I dream of dreams

Of forgotten dreams

Of not knowing where to go

Just walking past unknown cobbled streets

Just keep dreaming

dreaming on

Breathing this lifelong dreams

Recall

Elusive

In my withered soul

You swim

You dive

You breathe

A splash

A scream

A jaw

A leer

You turn

You plead

Within

Unheard

You smash

You splash

You miss

You fear

In pain

In mess

Your heartbeat race

A thought

A whim

A sad reflect

At eased

Relaxed

Give up,

Give in,

You closed your eyes

You breathe

You swim

In pain

At eased

You sink…

Away

To nature’s sound

Of white noise

From rain spattered grounds

Listen through that noise

Listen through that random tones

And hear the silence of your soul

White Noise 2

A storm but light

Bringing that soft

melodic sound

Of rain dropping on the ground

White noise

The innumerable splatter of raindrops

on the cold stone floor,

A soothing sound to him that silently waits for the rain to stop

Sometimes I think the rain was made for us to stop

To slow down and listen

To that ever splashing

Dripping, falling individual

Drop of rain

Each sound that differs

Each sound combined

Forming that sweet white noise

That endless splatter of random sounds.

And in the best of times

I think of nothing

but still I write

Letting the words flow

From the inmost depths

Of my troubled mind

From whence they come from

I know not

To when they’ll end

I have no idea

To dry up that well

Of words

Welling from my heart

To quench that thirst

Of talk

Of things I have never thought of before

To dry all my ideas up

To talk without thinking

To let it all flow

Like a river words

From the mountaintop

Down to the seas

Through streams, to valleys,

To the ocean

Of words,

To mingle with what was written

To be born

To be alive

I scratch for words

From an empty mind

Like digging for water

In a scorching sand

To finally hit that spot

That would open up

That river of thoughts

Closed so long ago.

so the question should be, why are so many people faced with problems?

the obvious answer is that,
man’s learning will never end(i believe death isn’t an exception,im a full pledged christian.lol), there are infinite possible circumstances in our life, and with each new circumstance, of course, you at first, don’t know what you should do, then it becomes a problem. once you face that same circumstance again, it won’t be a problem for you anymore..

let’s try to rephrase the first question:
why are so many people faced with difficulties?

the obvious answer is that, only those things which are difficult retains most in our memories and comes to our awareness, because we put much of our effort doing it…
we cannot remember much and be aware of those easy things we do, WHICH IS IN FACT A LOT MORE THAN THOSE OF THE DIFFICULT ONES.LOL
we face more easy tasks than those difficult ones..:D

Now let’s rephrase the first question again.LOL
Why are so many people problems? Hahaha just kidding..:D
Or why are so many people face?haha
Or why? Haha
Or why are so problems face? Haha
I’m not rephrasing them, I’ve just noticed.haha
I’m insane.haha

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
“Face your problem”, they say..
but wat if the problem is ur face? hahaha!

jowk lng grampz. i quite agree ^^ kaso.. if we define a problem, it’s something to be solved, no matter how small or easy it seems.. depends upon the person anyway hehe..

this one really convinced me!
“only those things which are difficult retains most in our memories and comes to our awareness, because we put much of our effort doing it…

we cannot remember much and be aware of those easy things we do, WHICH IS IN FACT A LOT MORE THAN THOSE OF THE DIFFICULT ONES.LOL

we face more easy tasks than those difficult ones.”

Amen!

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
which is more technical? i’m just curious lol..

problem defined as “a difficult task”
or defined as “something to be solved no matter how easy or hard”.lol

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
in a broader sense, both! haha.. “math problems” are also problems di ba? hehe… dpende nalang which one u’re referring to.. the word “problem” has various definitions anyway:

1. A question to be considered, solved, or answered
2. A situation, matter, or person that presents perplexity or difficulty

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
oooh, nice.hahaha i’d like to stick with the “difficult task” anyway.hahaha
habo kong pamati sa easy tasks na problems man sinda.hahahaha
i don’t want to give them the feeling of importance they’re looking for.hahaha

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
i use this perspective in dealing with people.lol

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
Come to think of it.. what u consider easy may be difficult for some.
In the first place, how can u tell if a task is easy?

Those “easy” tasks which u find of no importance to pay attention to may actually be colossal for others. So we can never really tell if in a general context, they are easy or not.

Anyway, the way i see it, it’s good for u na u deal with those tasks u find easy in that manner hehehe..

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
people don’t need to compare their idea of “easy” with mine.. what they consider easy is what is easy for them.. what i consider easy for me is what is easy for me alone.lol basically, what they find easy, they can just not consider it as a problem. if you can solve it quickly and it doesn’t consume much of your energy then it’s easy.lol

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
then may i ask what u meant by “i use this perspective in dealing with people.lol”

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ’08, edited on Dec 4, ‘08
my view in “dealing with people” is like a game.lol
people who seem to be your “enemies”, you should try to distinguish those who are really worth using your energy with.
some “enemies” who gives you problems, when you know that they’re not worth it, you don’t see them as problems at all..
they get their feeling of importance when you acknowledge them…
they want to do you more problems because of it..
and that is more specially(wonder if the phrase is right.lol), if you know that you’re a lot better than that person…
acknowledging them as problems gives them the notion that they’re at par with you, and even other people will acknowledge him to to be par with you. lol

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
remember, para sako.. life is the best playground i had ever found,, with people as my playthings and of course playmates..lol

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ’08, edited on Dec 4, ‘08
hala sarala n pti ang grammar ko.haha irinconsistent na ang usage ng words.hahaha

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ’08, edited on Dec 4, ‘08
oh.. i get what u mean. U’re saying na kumbaga, they’re not worth wasting ur time if the kind of problems they throw at you are those that u find easy and of no challenge to you at all.. did i get this correctly?

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
it’s either i solve it really quickly, or if i can leave it alone seeing that it can fix itself without my giving it attention.. then that’s it.. it’s not just the problem they throw that i mind when it comes to dealing with people,, it’s also the people themselves, which is a lot more exciting than dealing with problems my own lack of knowledge(though this really is an important thing to give attention to) or due to my own stupidity…

i wonder if i got off the topic.lol

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ’08, edited on Dec 4, ‘08
haha i knew it! i thought i was under the misconception that u particularly considered not just the problems but the people.. i was right palan hehe.. anyway, about what u just said, I have another follow up question. How do you see these people? Do you disregard them totally? hehe, just askin’

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
it’s big mistake to disregard them totally, nakakapuling man giraray dawa sararadit.. and some if disregarded totally can grow into a big problem you’d really have to face and mostly when it happens it’s to your life’s worth’s expense. but i have not yet had the opportunity to face people like them, when i’ve put up my own business company if ever, that’ll be the time..

it’s best to keep an eye on them, keep your “enemies” closer nga kumbaga… know how they think, see how they tick churva… like tung teacher that we know.. that’s how i deal with him.. solve things quickly, but never letting him have the satisfaction of his own doings.lol ( i wonder again kung tama si sinarabi ko.haha)

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
ah okay.. good thing hehe i thought u intended to place a conclusive judgment upon these people. If that’s the case, I agree na we shouldn’t let these people affect us if they’re really not worth our attention. Nonetheless, it’s best to watch our backs, i believe that.. By the way, I know who you’re referring to hahaha!

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
haha come to think of it, i’ve never quite thought of those things that i had given a conclusive judgement before.. i can’t even remember if i’d done one.haha kya ako dumn sa person we know.. i’m indifferent with him.lol si sir **** sbi nya din xa din indifferent,haha but heck i don’t believe it.haha

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
one thing i’ve learned pala when dealing with people is never to conclude on anything about them… even the way they think can change, people are dynamic.. kaya yan..

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
I was under the impression na you were gonna say na their existence are worthless because they don’t pose any challenge hahaha! my mistake! cge2.. anyway, i think i understand why you deal with that mystery person that way ahaha! and eu talaga, ifthatwas what u meant by his claim of indifference, i am not so convinced either. It seems more like a defense mechanism to me hahaha opinion lng :p

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koruchan14wrote on Dec 4, ‘08
i’d be fool if i say that.haha
yup, he’s trying to deny it outwardly but deep inside he knows he’s enjoying it.haha kang sinabi nyang “eu indifferent man ako” nagtuninung xa gro nagiisip hararom.haha kang sinabi kong indifferent ako dumn sa person na tu..hehe

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chichacewrote on Dec 4, ‘08
ahahaha good thing u’re not, nwy maski sya mn in denial kng saiyang stand hehe.. i guess that’s just what he wanted to be.. but not what he really is about that person haha

As we always like to be

Alone

We trudge the world behind the veils

Unseen

We live our lives

In lies

We make a living

Absorbed

Unto our own thoughts

We hide

Beneath our masks we are

Afraid…

We weave the words we wish to say

We move our tongues this way and that

We say the words in perfect ways

We are the masters of our ‘hearts’…

Indifferent as we always are…

How do we let them go

How do we force them out

From our thoughts,

From our minds.

Things you used to think of

Every passing second of the day

Things that drown you down

Thoughts of things what may

Why do we force them

I think because we do not want them gone completely?

Is it an irony

I think not.

We best know that time erases things,

Heals open wounds and scars

That to let go is to embrace,

To surrender, and not to run away

We think of erasing things,

Of forcing them out,

When in fact all we do is run away

We hide Behind what ever,

And deep inside we don’t want to let go

And deep inside we nurture them still

We let it cling behind our head,

We mask it with something else

We do all we can to act like it’s gone

When all along deep inside we wish it was still there

How do we erase things,

How do we flush them out,

How do we keep them away

How

We embrace, We surrender, We accept, We acknowledge

We take our stand.

You know its still there,

You keep yourself aware,

But it doesn’t hinder, We don’t let it,

We do not fight back,

:)

Originally published at ruarkisme.blogspot.com.