Fate is a curious thing. The only appropriate beginning for a post about fate is to quote possibly the greatest Roman emperor of all time:

“Submit to the fate of your own free-will” — Marcus Aurelius

In Roman and Greek mythology, fate was so much more than an idea. Fate was seen by the famous Roman philosopher, Homer, as a singular impersonal entity capable of functioning within the same realm as the Gods themselves. But, by the time of the poet, Hesiod, Fate had became The Fates. The Fates were personified in the form of three old women, Clotho (Spinner), Lachesis (Allotter), and Atropos (Inflexible), whom were responsible for weaving the threads of human destiny. Clotho was the spinner of the thread of human fate, Lachesis dispensed it, and Atropos cut the thread when it was time for the individual’s death. It was seen, during these times, that everything in one’s life was fully controlled by The Fates. Every detail, big and small, in a person’s life had nothing to do with their choices. By the time of Marcus Aurelius, Roman Catholicism was prevalent and the idea of a single, omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent god was more widely accepted. With this God came the notion of free-will.

This makes Marcus Aurelius’ quote so interesting, as it resonates with modern beliefs and understandings of the current world. Modern society is fast becoming irreligious. With advances in technological and scientific discoveries, more and more people are deserting the religious traditions of their parents and grandparents. As of 2014, 22.8% of the U.S. population identified as being religiously unaffiliated, 3% being atheist and 5% agnostic. In New Zealand, more than 50% of the population do not affiliate with religion of any type. The quote is interesting because, Marcus Aurelius is clearly combining old beliefs with new, free-will, granted by God, and fate, controlled by The Fates. One interpretation of this quote could be:

“Your free-will determines your fate.”

or

“You only have the illusion of free-will. Fate has already decided your path.”

Either way, most people I have come into contact with believe to some extent that they make their own choices in life. They do what they want, when they want, with whom they want. BUT, often they also use that age old expression: It was meant to be and/or if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. To me this is funny. People believe so much that they have free-will, yet they also believe that there are certain aspects of their lives they have had no control over. What makes it even more comical, is that a great deal of these people make up the remarkably high irreligious population.

So why do we, as forward thinking, rational, logical, irreligious human beings hold onto these archetypes of human behaviour? What makes us still believe we have free-will, when free-will is a “gift from God”, and that sometimes fate is involved?

Whether fate is real or free-will is is not the question. The question is why do we believe it to be real in the first place? I have no idea which is true. I’d like to believe that all the decisions in my life are what have lead me to this point, right now, writing this post, but, a huge part of me believes that I didn’t really have a choice. My understanding and acceptance of fate can best be understood through an anecdote. Recently I travelled to Saipan for a week with my girlfriend and the couple we stayed with were a perfect representation of fate. This is the quick version of their story:

Alexander and Jiaxin met on holiday. They were in the same tour group. Alexander didn’t speak any Mandarin and Jiaxin didn’t speak any English. However, the two were determined to communicate, somehow. They used both elaborate and simple hand gestures to get across roughly what they were trying to say. Jiaxin was on holiday with her identical twin sister and Alex was by himself. Alex asked the sisters if they’d like to share a ride back to where they were staying. Jiaxin’s sister agreed, but also made it very clear to Jiaxin that she was sure they were about to be murdered. Anyway, Alex didn’t forcibly skin them alive, but he did decide he quite liked Jiaxin. The three then spent a few days hanging out as friends. At the end of their holiday, Jiaxin and Alexander exchanged emails and that was that, so to speak. They kept in contact, loosely, for the next three years. They sent each other emails and shared photos. During this time, they were both in relationships. They just wanted to be friends. Three years after their initial meeting, Jiaxin was all set to marry her boyfriend of seven years. They were literally at the marriage office, about to sign the marriage papers, when Jiaxin looked at her fiance and said to him, “you don’t look like my husband.” Then, walked out of the office and went home. She saw a mystic whom told her that someone was waiting for her, though she didn’t believe all that mumbo-jumbo crap. Low-and-behold, two weeks after deserting her fiance, pen in hand, Alexander emailed her and said he’d be in China and wanted to meet up. Through a series of emails, the two caught up on recent events in their lives and they both discovered they were now single. Long story short, the two met up, decided they liked each other, and got married while Alexander was on holiday.

If that’s not fate, I don’t know what is.

It’s things that happen like this, that really make me a believer of fate and the power of the universe. I believe that fate has in store for us what ever it sees fit, but also that we are able to will things into the universe if we want it bad enough. I know, I’m a mess. What I’m really trying to say is that we have no idea. There is not a single person on this planet alive or dead, who knows why our lives turn out the way they do.

Even though Jiaxin is a victim of fate, she’s still not a believer, and that is awesome

Even though Alexander willed their connection into the universe, he’s not a believer, and that is awesome, too.

It was their story that inspired me to write this post about fate and free-will. I will be forever thankful for inspiration. Was it fate that sent me to their amazing house in Saipan, or my own free-will that made the meeting and inspiration possible?

I guess we’ll never know.

I take absolutely no credit for the images, videos, or gifs used in this blog post.

Originally published at samwindybank.com on January 6, 2018.