January 2024: College acceptance, Family Wedding & Meeting Friends

The year began with finalizing the law college for my daughter. The prior two years had been intense, with her spending hours on end each day, preparing for one of the toughest competitive exams in India- the Common Law Admission Test. As of January 1st, 2024, it was a relief to not only confirm the seat but sit back and focus on her school-leaving certificate which was scheduled for March this year.

I was immensely grateful to the Almighty at this assurance so early in the year but even more than that, I was intensely proud of my daughter. Once she had secured this seat, she took a voluntary choice not to write any more entrance exams. In an academic world that is fueled by peer pressure, it was heartening to note that she was able to take this kind of a solid decision even before she’d turned 18.

Travel to Pune-Nagpur-Shirdi- Aurangabad

Mid January saw us travel to Nagpur for a wedding in the family. However, of late, as a family, our travel has evolved to become a bit more expansive and not restricted to a specific location. We typically plan our trips to be at least 5 days long (in some cases, much longer), such that we can cover multiple locations during a single visit. How this works is that we fly in and out of a specific location and if within India, we book a Zoom Car to use as a self-driven vehicle which makes it easy for us to commute locally as well as between cities.

In this situation, we landed at Pune airport, picked up our self-drive car from the designated location and set off for Shirdi to have darshan at the Shirdi Sai Baba mandir.

Soon after that we headed to Aurangabad to visit the Ellora caves and finally reached Nagpur to attend the wedding. We then drove back to Aurangabad to see the Ajantha caves and then Pune to rest for a day before flying back home to Bangalore. Apart from the incredible tourism that we enjoyed, the things I am most grateful for, is the love of family, the warmth of friends and the kindness of strangers.

I also got to meet one of my favourite bloggers in the world — Tulika of Obsessive Mom — whom I had known for over 10 years in the blogging space! We met for the first time in person and she was sweet enough to come all the way to my hotel to catch up in person. I can’t say enough for the power of words and the bridges that we end up building because of them.

April 2024: Vietnam — A Vacation to Remember

We now skip straight to April, since February and March were pretty packed with Gy’s exam schedules. Not that I don’t have anything to be thankful for, of course. Just that I want to focus on the highlights of this year when it comes to sharing my gratitude for some of the best moments.

We started off by planning a long, 3-week vacation to Vietnam in mid-March. Within a week, things fell quickly into place and before we knew it, we were all set for a 22-day trip to one of the most beautiful countries I have ever visited. Since we decided to truly immerse ourselves in the cultural beauty that is Vietnam, we decided we would spend a good, long time in the country, doing as much as we could, without pressure.

In 3 weeks, we covered most of the big cities starting from the south of Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh City to the north, Hanoi. From traveling by bus, cab, limousine and scooters everywhere, we fell in love with the place and enjoyed every minute of it. I will do a separate post on our entire Vietnam trip (maybe in parts), but sharing a collage of some of our visits to this delightful country.

What I was grateful for: the abundance of vegan restaurants all over Vietnam, the incredible kindness and politeness of the Vietnamese, the spectacular weather, the convenience of traveling from one point to another made even simpler by online booking facilities.

April was when I also turned 46 and it’s been a memorable year on many fronts. I’d like to believe that I am wiser and kinder, of course. But I am truly grateful for the many lessons I have learnt these last 4 decades — no regrets whatsoever. Everything has happened exactly as it should have.

May 2024 — Village Rathotsavam & 23 Years of Marriage

This was a fun month! We got to meet the extended family at our ancestral village in Palakkad, Kerala. We also timed it in such a way as to attend the Rathotsavam — the chariot festival — of our village. Apart from being a religious and cultural extravaganza, this festival is a delightful way to reconnect with all the village members, across multiple generations. People travel from their respective cities (and countries) to attend this event and it’s truly a marvel to witness. My daughter and I had the opportunity to attend this for the first time and it was absolutely splendid to be a part of the energy and charm that surrounded the chariot.

This was also the month when my husband and I completed 23 years of marriage and it feels at once surreal and overwhelming. How much we’ve been through — as a couple and as individuals- in the last 2 decades! We’ve grown together and we’ve also progressed on our own paths, taking things as they come. There’s a lot to be grateful for, when it comes to our union and I, for one, try never to take it for granted.

July, 2024 — Empty Nest & Our Daughter Turns 18

This was such a bittersweet month, to be very honest. On the one hand, there was the immense emotional upheaval that came from our daughter moving out to another state, to join college. On the other hand, it was the month that she officially became an adult.

Balancing both these moments came with its own share of joy and sadness, intermingled with the assurance that this is a part of life and everything happens in good time.

What I am grateful for: Her roommates (who have turned out to be solid, wonderful girls), her college which is a mix of academic and cultural diversity and the quiet assurance with which she adapted to living on her own, making decisions that range from the mundane to the profound. There can be no better feeling as a parent, than seeing your child come into their own.

The Final Quarter of 2024

The past few months have been an exercise in letting go (as a parent) and also learning to embrace the novelty of being an empty nester. While I won’t deny that it’s tough on some days, there is a quiet sense of gratitude that now fills my days.

I’ve dived back into studying plant-based nutrition and learn something new everyday. My interest in fitness has redoubled and I find myself watching videos about anatomy and physiology as it relates to our body’s mobility. My spiritual side is also being re-awakened with a study of the Bhagavad Gita and the commentary on the same. Each day brings a deeper awareness of what my role is, in this world.

None of this would be possible without everything else that has come before and perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all when it comes to gratitude. Each step forward counts.

Originally published at http://shailajav.in on November 29, 2024.

There is no special way to begin this post other than to say, ‘It’s me and I am back’ 😊 Welcome to my new home or to be more specific, the old furniture in a new home.

After 8 years of being self-hosted, I’ve moved over to a simple WordPress plan which has brought me back full circle to my first love, namely, blogging. You’d notice that my domain name is now www.shailajav.in and no longer shailajav.com and that’s a story all by itself.

In a nutshell, this was the simpler option for me, given that there were some technical issues with using that domain for this website, but I won’t bore you with those details.

I have that same fresh love for this place that I would have for a new home. It’s like walking into a new abode, checking the sunlight in each of the rooms, testing the plumbing and seeing if the roof has any leaks. Exploring this place feels both familiar and new — familiar because it’s still WordPress so the nuts and bolts are all the same; new because it’s like starting over from scratch, with no audience and there’s a bit of a thrill to that whole experience.

I can’t wait to share with you everything that’s been going on in my world and I look forward to connecting with you once again through this space. For those on WordPress, you should be able to see a ‘Subscribe’ or ‘Follow’ Blog option in the sidebar in case you want to receive updates by email when I publish a new post.

Once again, welcome and I am so happy to be back!

Originally published at http://shailajav.in on November 16, 2024.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I have decided to shut down my self-hosted blog after 8 years . Oh, the blog itself isn’t going anywhere. All of the content will still be there but it’s moving to a different home.

As of now, there are many different reasons for this, so here’s an explanation on why I made this decision.

Reason 1:

I’m no longer blogging professionally. I have nothing to sell, no courses to promote, no social media handles to drive people towards and nothing to gain monetarily from the content on this website. So, after spending thousands of rupees over the last 8 years to keep this space alive, I figured it’s time to dial back on the financial burden and let this space just live out there on the internet on its own.

Reason 2:

Self-hosting is for serious bloggers. I no longer consider myself a serious blogger. Wait, was I ever serious?! Anyway, I want to be able to write about anything that comes to mind without worrying if it falls neatly into an assigned box or category. I don’t want to be confined to a ‘personal brand’ anymore.

Ugh, that sounds so pretentious right now and especially after I taught people in the past how to build their personal brand.

Reason 3:

The spam is unbelievable! I confess I haven’t been able to keep up with the volume of comments on this blog over the past year or so. But ever since I opened it upto comments again, this space seems to have let all the weirdos on the internet back into my space! Every time I log in, I have a minimum of 100 spam comments to clear from my moderation queue. It really doesn’t feel worthwhile anymore. If people really need to comment on my content, they can do so on Medium, where I have been cross-posting most of my content.

Reason 4:

Keeping up with plugin updates is very tiresome. Every time I come here I have to wonder if a specific plugin will make/break my site. Despite having minimal plugins, this can turn out to be rather annoying. I’d much rather just come in, write my piece and then exit the space.

Reason 5:

It’s just not worth the money anymore, given that hardly anyone blogs these days. This might be the most painful reason of all, but I have to face the truth. More and more people are just not blogging anymore. They find better responses to their content on social media — Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook (and any other new platforms that I am thankfully unaware of!)

Any time I go and click on one of my favourite blogger’s websites, it just shows me that they last blogged a year ago. Heartbreaking, but there it is. So, why spend close to INR 10,000 every year to keep a space like this alive? It doesn’t make any sense.

THE MAIN REASON

I just want to blog again. It’s as simple as that. I don’t want validation in the form of comments. I want conversations with like-minded people and connections with bloggers who have something to share. I want to be able to write whatever I want without worrying about SEO or page views or spending money to maintain an expensive website. I want to blog when I feel like it and do it in long-form without craving dopamine hits from social media posts. Most of all, I want to blog in relative obscurity and silence.

WHERE I AM GOING

I’ve already downloaded all of my content and moved them to a free WordPress site. I’m still in the process of deciding on a simple theme and also a domain name. I’ve not yet made up my mind about retaining my current domain name, so we’ll see how that goes.

I will be spending some money to maintain the new website but it will be a far smaller amount, compared to what I’ve spent over the past decade.

By early November, this new website will be live. Once it’s live, I will be sharing that link right here on my Medium page, so look out for that soon.

I look forward to connecting with you deeply 🙏🌟

A Google search of any creator would usually yield a link to their social media page(s). That’s right. You can now find content creators who have not just a website but an Instagram handle, a Twitter page, a Facebook profile, a YouTube channel, a Whatsapp group and a TikTok page (if you’re based in a country where it’s not banned). If they are also an author, you’d get links to buy their books on Amazon and perhaps reviews of their books on Goodreads.

So it’s a bit ironic when said creators write about how they are overwhelmed with the digital space and all of the noise it brings with it.

My question to them is simple:

Why are you available everywhere?

The Root Cause of Overwhelm

I’ve been a blogger since 2007. At the time, I had one space to share my thoughts- my blog. It was also a time when social media was very nascent and the idea of blog marketing, promotion and sharing wasn’t rampant. It was, truly, a simpler time.

The second social media entered the scene, however, the entire landscape of creation changed. We were all now geared towards not just writing on our blogs, but sharing that content everywhere — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram to name a few.

After a few years, social media morphed and grew into a beast of its own. Now people were focused more on sharing their ideas and pictures on those channels instead of their original blogs. The instant validation (and outrage) was fuel to their ideas (and possibly, their egos).

I don’t blame them; I was part of the same bandwagon for the better part of a decade. Until the day I just decided to stop it all.

Within a year, I deleted my Facebook account, deactivated my Twitter page with over 5k followers and made my Instagram page a private one.

Leaving Social Media Made Me Ask This Important Question

These decisions made it much easier for me to stay in the present and actually sit with my stillness — something I find that most people today are unfamiliar with, unfortunately.

The Challenge with Always Being On

Being constantly connected never gives us the opportunity to learn anything. How could we? We never have time away from our social media platforms.

When the mind is searching for the next thing to outrage about in a public space like Twitter, when does it have time to actually be still?

Why Stepping Back Is More Important Than You Realize

There are so many content creators that I used to connect with, back in the good old days of just blogging. Today, most of them don’t blog anymore. They’re too busy being present on various platforms. And with it, they’re more and more overwhelmed. Can you blame them?

How to Actually Reduce the Overwhelm

Three words: Leave Social Media

Sounds simple? That’s because it actually is. We just don’t ever give it the chance.

Leaving social media has improved my life in a myriad different ways. The benefits of social media are too miniscule for me to consider returning to it anymore.

In fact, being away from those platforms has made it easier for me to stick to Dunbar’s number of less than 150 true and deep social connections.

You see, the problem with overwhelm is that we create it for ourselves. We go out and add more social media accounts and more ‘connections’, as if that somehow makes us more important.

Social media has an insiduous way of making you believe that the larger your number of followers, the more people care about you. Honestly, nothing could be further from the truth. If you fell sick tomorrow, how many of your followers would be there for you, in person? Obviously, we’re not counting your neighbors and family who may also be among your followers.

Take my advice. Leave social media. You don’t need it and believe me, you are better off without it. Instead, focus on what made you a creator in the first place — write, shoot pictures, create art, make music.

And do it all in the silence of obscurity.

Why More Writers Should Learn to Embrace Obscurity

The Incredible Overwhelm of Multiple Spaces was originally published in Intentional and Creative Affluence on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

On September 22nd, 2022, as I switched off the documentary What The Health on Netflix, a decision was made. After 44 years of being a vegetarian, I was officially ready to go vegan.

I didn’t come to this decision lightly, though. It had been brewing in the back of my mind for a little over 4 weeks; I had slowly changed my nutrition to embrace more whole foods, even while cutting out animal foods from my heavily-dairy-laden Indian diet.

As my health improved, my awareness grew and continued to expand as I dove deeper into the ethical, environmental, spiritual and humane aspects of going plant-based.

Life as a vegan was challenging in the beginning. Explaining to people that I didn’t eat milk (or butter or yogurt or ghee, an Indian staple!) was more difficult than I’d imagined. But, I received tremendous support from three key sets of people: my immediate family- my husband and daughter; my parents and my in-laws. Somehow, that made it easier to stay vegan.

The Guiding Principle Behind Change

All change comes at the time that makes the most sense to us. But the changes that stick all have one powerful thing in common — an extremely determined why.

For me, that ‘why’ was very clear at first — I needed to get healthy. Going plant-based helped me in more ways than I could imagine

My Vegan Journey

Two Years Later

I can honestly confirm that this decision transformed more things than my health alone.

Being vegan, while a huge part of my identity, is also just one part of it. I believe that it has helped me embrace learning and wisdom from a deeper perspective, making me a better writer, a better spouse and a better parent in the process.

Every time I read an article about people who have been vegan or have turned vegan, it makes my heart glad. There are a million ways to leave our mark on this planet and perhaps doing our bit in this tiny way can make a difference.

Okay, bear with me as I backtrack a little and share what I mean.

A few weeks ago, I bought a brand-new smartwatch. There was nothing wrong with the old one that I had. It’s just that I had resumed swimming after many months and I was looking for a watch that I could use while swimming. Why, you ask? Well, to calculate how much I swam, of course. The irony is that while the watch IS water-resistant, it turned out that there was no feature in the watch to actually track swimming as a form of exercise. Apparently, that only comes as an inbuilt feature with water-proof watches, not water-resistant ones. I know, right?

Anyway, I shrugged and decided to adapt to the new watch. It’s all in the learning, after all. And it was fairly easy too. Soon, I was tracking my step count, managing a decent walking streak and breaking records every few days. But, you know that thing about Murphy’s law. Yep! The watch would stop pairing with my smartphone at random times! Net result? All of that data would get reset and I’d be back to square one. I was getting annoyed and then it hit me.

Why was I getting obsessive about a device that I had strapped onto my wrist?

Surely fitness is about more than streaks and step counts!

So here’s the epiphany that came to me. A watch is a watch is a watch, until it starts becoming more than that! It was the wake up call that I needed to learn to let go of my addiction to step counts.

And the best part is, that this came around the same time that I read this piece : Do Fitness Influencers on Social Media really Inspire us?

After leaving Instagram two years ago, I came back to the platform in May this year. One main reason was that my daughter (who was moving away to another city for her higher studies) had finally gotten an Instagram account of her own. This was my way of staying in touch with her. But, slowly, the lure of posting on social media came back without my realising it.

So eager was I to share my learnings from the last two years that I was posting everyday! I honestly didn’t care about like counts or comments, but there was this insidious grip of the platform that came back to me. Before I knew it, my gadget time had crept back up. While I was managing to stay under 1 hour of phone time for the better part of two years, it was now inching back up to 3 hours per day.

Today’s smartwatch incident reminded me that my value didn’t lie in social media posting or even sharing my updates on a platform such as that one. Why was I so hung up on sharing updates anyway? What was the point of it all? Whom was I trying to impress or worse, ‘inspire’, with my fitness goals and achievements?

I thought back to my own time on social media, two years ago. I don’t recall ever sticking with a fitness regimen just because I saw someone else share their daily step counts. Change happened and stayed consistent only when I took the decision to take autonomy of my health and wellness. Gadgets and smartwatches had nothing to do with it.

They say everything happens for a reason. I don’t blame myself for falling for the smartwatch lure of step counts and tracking. After all, if it weren’t for the frustration I felt about the futility of it all, I wouldn’t have got this epiphany 🙂

Here’s to more such lessons, every single day.

Originally published at https://shailajav.com on September 21, 2024.

* Standard disclaimer: When you read this or any other post on veganism/fitness/nutrition on my blog/Medium, please be advised that these are all personal experiences. I have no certification or qualification as a nutritionist/coach so kindly do your own research and consult with a healthcare or fitness professional before making any changes to your lifestyle.

WHY I WENT VEGAN

To be honest, the very first reason I went vegan was for my health. I have an autoimmune condition called urticaria. Additionally, every month, my menstrual cycle would cause havoc in my body resulting in severe cramps, brain fog, mastalgia and other symptoms including shortness of breath. In my research to help me combat these issues, I came across studies that suggested going for a dairy-free diet could help both conditions. In other words, it was quite possible that I was intolerant/allergic to milk and milk products without even knowing it. But having grown up on a vegetarian diet in India, milk was an integral part of everything that I ate, so it was a bit of an eye-opener for me.

Of course, since health was my first priority when it came to changes in my diet, I also researched all the nutritional drawbacks of going vegan. This brought me up against a list of possible vitamin and mineral deficiencies, which could be managed effectively with a carefully planned food diary. And that’s when I really got interested in nutrition, because this was now personal.

WHY I STAYED VEGAN

The last study (link provided in the resource section below), in particular, lists the number of hormones that are present in dairy milk and that led me down a very different rabbit hole: The idea of hormonal injections and the concept of artificial insemination of cows to keep them producing milk all year round. This was something I hadn’t even considered, let alone debated, until I watched the documentary What the Health on Netflix. The effect of that was instantaneous. I decided to go vegan immediately and did it overnight.

In addition to all of the health benefits I could sense from going vegan, I slowly began to embrace the idea of ethical veganism too. There’s still a lot more that I need to do on that front, but this just made it even easier for me to stick with my decision to go plant-based in my diet.

SKIN CHANGES

One of the curious things that happened after I turned vegan was the effect it had on my skin. In mid 2020, I developed melasma (hyperpigmentation) on the left side of my face and neck. Speaking to my doctor confirmed that nothing much could be done about it and it was mostly a cosmentic issue. When I did my research I discovered that it was heavily influenced by hormonal imbalances.

I figured: What if veganism could help with that too? After all, I was practically working on hormonal balance through my diet in any case. The result? Quite impressive, I must say!

THE UNEXPECTED SIDE EFFECT: WEIGHT LOSS

Now, as a consequence (which wasn’t completely intentional), I watched as the extra pounds on my body fell off. So much so that I managed to lose about 20 pounds over the course of 4.5 months. This was done gradually and I didn’t do any crash dieting, before you start wondering. Just changing the composition of what I ate made a massive difference to my entire body composition. I also began to feel stronger and healthier than I had in many years.

As a result, one of the more frequent questions I get asked these days, by friends and family alike when we meet, is this one: ‘How’s your diet going? Still sticking with it?’

You see, that’s the thing. I don’t follow a diet. Because a diet is difficult to stick to, for a variety of reasons. Instead, what I follow is a lifestyle. Diets are a short-term quick fix with a much higher chance of falling off the wagon and returning to unhealthy patterns. But a lifestyle change is for the long term and is much more likely to help you sustain your good health for your foreseeable future.

I am now vegan for life and as a result, staying healthy has become easier. As for the weight? Maintaining it has never been simpler.

The caveat I must mention is that going vegan or plant based, by itself, won’t help you lose weight. You have to ensure that you’re eating nutrition-rich vegan foods which automatically takes care of your caloric needs. The best part about this is that you don’t need to do any form of calorie counting (at least in my experience), as long as you’re following a balanced meal plan with the right amount of proteins, carbs and healthy fats together with essential vitamins and minerals.

READING NUTRITION LABELS BECAME THE NORM

Going plant based from the nutrition perspective helped tremendously here because I also consciously minimized junk food, processed foods and deep-fried foods in my diet. Studying nutrition labels had always been a thing of sorts but after going vegan, I was extra cautious about reading them. That’s when I realized how many packaged products on our shelves contain dairy products or added sugar in one form or the other.

Chocolates were an obvious culprit, but brown bread? I hadn’t thought they’d use milk, but they do! Packaged cereals were obviously sugar loaded, but ‘sugar-free’ muesli? Those just used artificial sugar substitutes, which were even worse.

Pretty much most Indian sweets such as gulab jamun, rasgulla, pedas, burfis were all milk-based and/or used ghee. So eliminating them from my diet immediately meant that I wasn’t consuming sugar in any form.

Nowadays, what do I do when I feel like having something sweet? I reach for fruits, dry fruits, dates and the like. On the days I feel like indulging in something a bit sweeter, I end up baking my own cookies and muffins since I can regulate the amount of sweetener I add to them. Since I don’t add any preservatives, the batches are small in number and are usually finished in a day or less. Natural portion control for the win! 😉

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy the occasional indulgences such as vegan ice-creams or cakes, but they instinctively become just that — an indulgence and not a regular affair.

BUT ISN’T VEGANISM EXPENSIVE?

I know that this has been the general understanding about veganism. The reason that’s the case is because dairy, as a product, is heavily subsidized by the government in India. As a result, most of your vegan milks are expensive in comparison.

However, when I decided to go vegan I also decided to start experimenting with vegan milks and curds, making them at home. Doing this on a regular basis spurred me to make even more items such as peanut butter, almond butter, cookies, breads etc all of which are usually heavily processed in the market. The more homemade products I started to make, the more I realised that veganism is highly possible on a budget. That’s not to say you shouldn’t buy commercial vegan/ plant based products, of course. I just find it easier to make most stuff at home, once or twice a week.

Roshni Sanghvi, a renowned plant-based sports nutritionist and holistic health coach, wrote a very good article on this topic: Is Veganism Expensive? What Broke Vegans Eat (Indian version)

SHOULD YOU GO VEGAN?

Honestly, I would love it if you did, but in my experience, I’ve learnt that whatever decision people take must be motivated by an intrinsic and powerful why. Yes, posts like these and books/articles/videos/films by experts can go a long way toward helping you make that decision. But the only way you will stick with that decision for the long term is if you have a very strong reason to do it in the first place.

RESOURCES/FURTHER READING

Study 1: Milk Allergy Causes and Symptoms

Study 2: Study Shows Diet Causes 84% Drop in Troublesome Menopausal Symptoms-without Drugs

Study 3 Hormones in Dairy Foods and Their Impact on Public Health — A Narrative Review Article

Study 4: A plant-based diet for the prevention and treatment of type 2 diabetes

Originally published at https://shailajav.com on March 29, 2023.

{Scroll to the end of this post to find links to any articles/books referenced in it}

It’s been a while since I did a wrap up post on my blog and it gives me so much joy to bring it back again. Reflecting on the month gone by is a very therapeutic exercise, as I have learnt in the past. You know that saying, ‘Count your blessings’? Well, a gratitude post is a great way to do just that. The thing is, small events tend to pass us by when we are living life. But slowing down and remembering those moments is just the tonic we need to keep us going, when the days ahead may seem tough.

So let’s begin, shall we?

Health

A few years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined putting ‘health’ on top of my gratitude list. Now, I cannot begin a list without thinking of health and its impact on my daily life! Ever since September 2022, when I began eating right and paying attention to regular physical movement, walking has been my mainstay as far as basic activity is concerned. I generally try and walk at least 3 to 5 km a day, spread out between the morning and the evening.

All that regular walking really paid off when we took a trip to the temple town of Thiruvannamalai last weekend and ended up doing the ‘Girivalam’ or the circumambulation of the Arunachala Hill, which is 14 kms in length.

That’s right. I did it on foot and took about 3 and a half hours to complete it. It was simultaneously a humbling and exhilarating experience. On the one hand, it gave me so much time to slow down and appreciate being in the moment as we put one foot in front of the other. On the other hand, there was a sense of purpose that I felt had been missing from my life for the last several months. It’s almost as if God had called me to this place to guide me on the path towards peace. Finding joy in just being, living in the moment and cherishing each breath, what a wonderful way to spend a day!

A note of gratitude for my legs and my stamina for seeing me through this experience without much trouble.

Travel & Family Time

It feels like a dream to be able to travel again, without restrictions or masks covering our faces! So happy that we managed to take a whole week off at the end of February to visit Chennai, Mahabalipuram, Pondicherry, Chidambaram and Thiruvannamalai. Our Chennai stop was primarily to visit my maternal grandmom and my only suviving grandparent who turns 90 later this year! I am so pleased to report that apart from a slightly elevated blood pressure reading, she is in great health. It was such joy to spend time with her, reminiscing over the past and marveling at how sharp she still is to this day.

We visited Mahabalipuram on our way out of Chennai towards Pondicherry and this is a place that will delight history buffs no end. From the famous ‘Four Rathas’ monument to the Shore temple, Arjuna’s Penance to Krishna’s Butterball, it’s easily doable in a day.

Our 3-day stay in Pondicherry was made extra special because we opted for an Air BnB apartment this time — our first time ever! It was a great decision because we had a lot of freedom to move around while staying in a home away from home. Having a kitchen with basic amenities also made it convenient for us to whip up light meals when we felt like it. The real benefit, though, was the facility to have freshly laundered clothes daily which can be a bit tricky when you stay in hotels.

Note: You can easily cover all of Pondicherry’s hot spots in 2 days. We managed to visit the Promenade, Aurobindo’s Ashram, Auroville and the Matrimandir, Arulmiga Vinayagar Temple, Serenity Beach, Paradise Beach and Chunnambar Boat house in just two days. The third day was quite relaxed for us, and we actually caught a movie since we had nothing else to do. However, if you’re planning for a longer stay, look up volunteering options in either Auroville or Sadhana Forest.

Our trip to Chidambaram was brief but gorgeous, given that it was my first time at the famous Nataraja temple. We then wound it up with an overnight stay at Thiruvannamalai (remember the Giri valam I mentioned earlier) and visited the peaceful ashram of Shri Ramana Maharshi to close out the trip before heading back home to Bangalore.

Since we prefer to drive everywhere our plans remained rather flexible. Booking an overnight stay at Thiruvannamalai was a last-minute decision that was made convenient thanks to Booking.com.

As a vegan, I really love using the Happy Cow app to find restaurants that were vegan-friendly. This helped us discover some new eateries that we cherished. The Gelato Factory outlet in Pondicherry was fabulous with multiple vegan ice-cream flavours on hand!

Reading

Probably one of the biggest benefits of taking a sabbatical from all things work related is the time on hand to dive deeper into my favourite pastime — Reading. In February, I re-read A Man Called Ove which was like a warm and comforting blanket of hope all over again. Fascinated as I am about good health and longevity these days, I then turned to Dan Buettner’s The Blue Zones which takes an insightful look into the secrets of centenarians and their thriving health into their later years. Followed up this book with Arthur Brooks’ very wonderfully written From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life.

ME-TIME

For the first time ever, I wound up going for a movie all by myself. It wasn’t planned that way; it just happened. I saw that ‘A Man Called Otto’ based on Backman’s book was releasing in theatres in early February. One Monday morning, I checked with a few friends if they’d be keen to watch it with me. Nobody was available. While debating on what to do, my husband casually said, ‘You could always watch it on your own, you know.’ That’s when it hit me. Of course I could!

And I did. It’s a different feeling, I’ll give you that. Followed it up with a solo lunch at this place called ‘The Asian Curry House’ which was again vegan friendly.

WORK SABBATICAL

On the work front, I’ve decided to extend my sabbatical from all professional writing/coaching/ business until the middle of 2024 when my daughter will be done with her final year of schooling. This gives me time to focus more on the home, my health and fitness and my family. Honestly, I have never been more sure of any professional decision than this one. It feels absolutely right at this time.

Of course, I also realize that I am privileged to be able to take this decision. Not everyone can take such a long sabbatical and I respect that. I am grateful for some amount of financial planning over the last few years that has helped me make this decision without anxiety.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Today also marks the first day of my daughter’s final year of school. It’s such a bittersweet moment as I watch the baby I knew blossom into a young, confident girl and take one step closer to womanhood.

As March begins and I look back at this fulfilling month, I am overwhelmed at how much the Universe has given and continues to give me in the shape of health, family, travel, books and friends. May I never take any of it for granted.

REFERENCES/LINKS mentioned in the post

1. Dan Buettner’s ‘The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons for Living Longer from the people who’ve lived the Longest’
2. Our Air BnB Stay in Pondicherry: 4 Seasons near Auroville
3. A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
4. My review of A man called Ove written in 2017

Originally published at https://shailajav.com on March 3, 2023.

Yes, I’ve finally decided to completely pull the plug on my business just one month short of my 5-year work anniversary. It was March 3rd, 2018 when I launched my coaching/consulting business and I’ve loved most of it, to be honest. Why most? Well, there was a lull period in mid-2020 when I felt deep despair at the idea of my business not taking off as much as I’d anticipated.

That quickly turned around by September 2020 when I started learning how to refocus on my business, thanks to my mentor and coach, George Kao. And by mid-2021, I had not just broken even but had turned a profit way beyond my expectations. I was finally satisfied and grateful for how things had started moving along in my business.

But, as you may know, by late 2021/early 2022, things took a slightly different turn, after I stumbled upon Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks. Suddenly, life seemed incredibly interesting in the offline space, full of promise and potential, more than ever. And slowly, I started weaning myself off all social media, starting with Twitter, followed by Facebook, and finally ending with Instagram.

The more I moved offline, the quieter my mind became. There was more space for stillness, contemplation, diving deeper into soul-searching and discovering what made my life worthwhile.

In my previous newsletter, you’d recall that I spoke about how my health took a downturn in August of 2022, followed by a resolve to study nutrition and fitness from a holistic perspective.

In mid-September, I also went 100% vegan in my diet, primarily for health reasons, to combat my auto-immune condition. What I didn’t expect were the other benefits that accrued as a result: Natural and sustainable fat loss, improved endurance and stamina, better mental clarity, a radical transformation of my perimenopausal symptoms which greatly improved my monthly cycle, and falling in love with the idea of regular physical movement which now includes walking, swimming, badminton and weight lifting every week.

*I am also vegan for ethical/environmental reasons now.

My First 5K

I always thought the 5K was something that only athletes would do. Never did I imagine actually completing a 5K in this lifetime.

But not only did I finish it, but I was also only among 3 women in the whole group of 40 who actually did. The feeling was both exhilarating and humbling, on so many levels. There was so much gratitude for my body and its ability to do something beyond what I’d thought it was capable of. There was a sheer high of achievement that I had never experienced in this area of physical wellness. But most of all, there was a quiet sense of confidence that this was meant to be — this moment, this glorious moment, of being a part of something bigger than oneself.

Experiments in the Kitchen

Happiness is baking a gorgeous loaf of whole wheat bread from scratch or making 2 whole litres of fresh coconut milk, right at home. Having all this extra time on my hands means that my hands are now quite busy physically — in a good way! My vegan kitchen experiments have all improved and refined themselves further.

Our Family Trip to Thailand

Towards the end of December, we took a family trip to Thailand for 11 days which was immersive, enriching and highly enjoyable. The Wats (temples) in Thailand are breathtaking and visiting each shrine was a memory worth cherishing many times over.

*I will do a separate post about my entire Thailand trip experience, complete with an itinerary and helpful tips for those planning a trip of their own soon.

Why I am Retiring the Newsletter

The more I thought about this, the more it began to make sense.

Our lives are beautiful and full of promise. That means every moment and every second is precious to a wonderful degree. In my heart, I know that I have done everything that I wanted to do in this space — conscious business, gentle productivity, authentic growth and deep-seated connection.

A voice started speaking, deep in my heart, that the time had come to say goodbye. Not with regret and not with frustration but with a sublime sense of contentment. It somehow reminded me of Trevor Noah’s decision to bid farewell to The Tonight Show, on his own terms.

As he said, ‘ My time is up. But in the most beautiful way ‘

As I say goodbye today, it is with a sense of profound gratitude for everything that has come my way. The most precious things are the connections I have made through the blog, the business and my newsletter. I don’t take that lightly and I never take it for granted.

So, What’s Next?

The blog (https://www.shailajav.com) will continue to exist and it is my intention to get back to personal blogging, the way I used to do it before I went down the business route. So, expect more random musings, updates on my vegan journey, my progress on the road to physical fitness and the courses that I am studying in this regard.

That also means I am turning the commenting section on my blog back on so that we can stay in touch that way.

In the slightly distant future, perhaps a year or so from now, my intention is to get back to teaching face-to-face, in a classroom. That’s a full-circle return to the life I had, 22 years ago, when my career just began. Until then though, my sabbatical from all things work and business will continue, as I embrace this life of learning and personal growth.

Originally published at https://shailajav.com on February 6, 2023.

If you remember my last article, I wanted to highlight this section from it, based on what I was planning to do with my time, after I decided to wind down my coaching business.

Building a More Holistic Approach to Life

Perhaps the foundation for these changes stemmed from my need to move towards a more holistic approach to living, that goes beyond a business and a presence in the digital space.

If the last year has taught me anything, it’s that life is as precious as we choose to make it. We decide where we should train our minds and focus our energies. The subconscious voice in my mind has become louder these last few months and I can’t ignore it any longer.

Life is about caring for our bodies through physical exercise, for our minds through better reading and for our souls through spiritual input. And the only way to do justice to this three-pronged approach is to quiet the number of external triggers in our lives. For me, personally, that means a fairly minimalist digital presence and perhaps moving towards a more hands-on way of living fully in each moment. Life is calling and I think the time has come for me to follow that calling and see where it leads. And so, today, it’s time to embrace change, take that bold step forward and walk the road not taken.

THE KEY TRIGGERS (AUGUST 2022)

I must confess that I didn’t imagine being away for eight whole weeks, but the truth is that things kind of took me by surprise. When I sent out that last email, I was actually in severe pain and agony. In the third week of August, a seemingly innocuous insect bite on my skin triggered an allergic reaction so severe that my body broke out in hives all over.

Those of you who don’t know, I have an autoimmune condition — urticaria — which causes unexplained rashes on my arms and face. For many years it’s lain dormant and has raised its head occasionally. But this particular outbreak was so severe that I had to resort to heavy medication and even that didn’t help for a whole week. Imagine going to bed after applying ice cubes and a wet pack all over your back only to wake up at midnight with a fresh outbreak on your face, neck and calves. It was sheer torture, to put it mildly. My doctor said I had no choice but to wait it out and so I did, with each day feeling worse than the last. And then, 9 days later, the rashes subsided and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Until the next morning, that is. Because now I had a different problem. An acute attack of sinusitis took hold and caused blinding pain in my head, nose and cheeks leading to a high fever. This again lasted for a whole week. I don’t think I’ve ever cried because of a headache until this happened. It took a strong dose of painkillers and nasal sprays to alleviate the pain, with the doctor recommending that I monitor the severity of the pain for the next few days.

The last two weeks of August were among the most horrid ones in my life, health-wise and as a result, I had to cancel a much-awaited trip that I’d been planning for over a month.

THE CHANGE

But you know what they say — every cloud has a silver lining.

For me, those two grey clouds of urticaria and sinusitis gave me the only obvious silver lining that I needed.

Things had to change. I couldn’t imagine going through this again and I started researching, with great curiosity, about what I could do to help fix my health.

I had heard that autoimmune conditions could only be managed, not fixed. But was that really true? What if there was a solution and I didn’t know about it? My research led me to read up about Anti-Inflammatory Diets and a very strange thing happened.

I GOT HOOKED

Okay, so here’s the thing you may not know about me. In High school, I disliked Biology and everything about it. Give me Math problems or an essay in English any day, but a session on the Human Body? Pass!

Now? I am simply fascinated by how the human body works, both in terms of nutrition and fitness — everything from the gut to the microbiome to ghrelin and leptin to TDEE and Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis and Building muscle — sign me up! I told you. Strange!

So anyway, when this did happen, I realised I had two options before me.

1. Work on my business while studying the human body

2. Take an indefinite sabbatical from my business while learning more about food, nutrition, and fitness

I guess you know which one I chose, given the eight-week silence on the writing front.

FIXING MY DIET & INCREASING MOVEMENT

The first thing I began doing was making small changes to my diet. This could be as simple as eating more fruits or vegetables at every meal and reducing processed foods each week. Another week, I decided to consciously monitor my water intake and started reducing caffeine and added sweeteners. Then I began to look at what I was eating at each meal in terms of a good balance of nutrients and if I was truly hungry enough or just following a mindless eating pattern.

A couple of weeks after fixing my diet, I noticed that my energy levels had improved which inspired me to move more often through the day. So I started incorporating a short morning walk to the grocery store to buy vegetables daily. This ensured I had fresh produce everyday or every other day to cook.

A week after that I wanted to get back to some fun cardio and resumed playing badminton. Two weeks after that it was time to focus on building strength, lifting weights and also incorporate a good, gentle stretching routine every day.

None of my changes were drastic or extreme, to be clear. I wanted to wait and gradually see the effect this would have on my health.

THE CONSCIOUS SWITCH TO VEGANISM

The biggest switch though actually happened about three weeks into this lifestyle.

I went 100% vegan in my diet.

I’d probably have to do a separate post about the reasons behind this decision but honestly, I have absolutely loved the transition and had no trouble with it, whatsoever.

Since I had started studying nutrition, I was also very aware of the various deficiencies that could stem from a purely vegan diet, so decided to fortify myself with extra information in preparation for this.

BECOMING A STUDENT AGAIN

Since early September, I have enrolled in 2 courses on the plant-based diet and am deep in research associated with both. I’ve also signed up for two more courses through November and December on the role of nutrition and fitness. In other words, becoming a student again has given fresh life to my dreams.

HEALTH TRANSFORMATION

In the last eight weeks, things have changed incredibly, for the better. My energy levels have become super-powered on a plant-based diet. There’s more focus and concentration when it comes to work or study. My sleep quality has improved significantly and my snoring problem (which was pretty bad!) has also reduced. I absolutely love, love, love spending time in the kitchen, whipping up vegan dishes every single day and I also ended up getting a YouTube premium subscription since a whole lot of vegan recipes are available absolutely free. (Ad-free viewing is a boon!)

CONCLUSION

Sometimes it takes a really powerful Why to help us make a lasting change. I’ve found mine and it is my sincere hope that you find yours when the time is right.