A poem on remaining trapped inside a cage made only for suffering.

throw me down and put on the vice
i don’t even know if i’m cold or ice
torturarium in my bone and mind
all i can do is bleed and comply

i don’t know what swallowed me
everyone broke what was left of me
red is all that i see here
dripping off the walls, blinding my eyes
trapped when i’m submissive
and i thought i could do it
but i’ve been bleeding out here
so i’ll say it

take me away
drag me and tear all the breath away
i do not care
leave me with skin stripped to bone now

will you let go now
will i let go now
i just want to leave this torturarium

can i let go now
can i lay this pain down
i just want to leave this torturarium
oh

push me down, drain me out
choking on ash as the dark eats out
i want to claim what was never mine
spit out rust as my ribs open up
wound after wound gouged out
i stop screaming now

leave me to die
i don’t know if i want this knife and why
shattered glass cage
force me to die in this heavenly hell

i think i want to stay now
but i never wanted to fall down
i just want to leave this torturarium

i need to get out now
death is tracking me down
i just want to leave this torturarium
oh

leave me in this burning room
no place for light in this iron doom
torturarium breaking me through and through
this time i can’t bleed alone

smiling as i begin to fray
while the sickness eats all my light away
i don’t know if i seek release
drowning inside of this hollow cage

i dont want to stay now
but i don’t want to leave now
i think i’ll just rot in this torturarium

been here for years now
i’ve found home in wounds now
i can’t breathe without this torturarium
oh

drinking the darkness i cannot hide

clasping my hands tight as the cold takes hold

worshipping horrors that can’t be told

begging the devil to take me away…

it’s a song too.

vice is a heavy metal clamp to hold something in place with pressure as well as a dark habit, sin or toxic fixation, which works here in the addiction to pain and confinement.. see what i did there? ;)

what i’m listening to: can’t you see me? by tomorrow x together (i stan; my favourite band (with my celebrity love a part of it))

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a hearts suit and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Torturarium was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem on the touch that lingers between two sides of a gate.

there is a cold silver rose-lidded gate between us, and there is no key
the distance in between is bleeding me
and in his black eyes, there is a dark tempest
watching over me, he is banging, losing breath against the metal
“a touch, just a touch through the bars, feels like a lifetime”
i’m weeping, “you’re, you’re all that i breathe”
oh, darling, i collapse to the grass when i’m beside you
i need your fingers to stay
knees in the dirt, on the cold earth where i woke up to you
you wanted to drown in me, and now
he says, “and if i could tear down these rails”
“i swear that i would pull you to my chest”
still resting our foreheads against the unmoved silver
can’t let go of the warmth of your skin against my fingertips
and you are gazing, looking at me through pain-lidded tears
“don’t blame yourself, i’m here”
you stop weeping, “a gate doesn’t change anything between us”
and oh, love, i didn’t know
that the iron would hold us as cruelly as the world does
oh, i love you, i’m missing you deeply

pain holds pain not to shatter under its weight
we dragged all of it to this fence
touching you is just a feeling that slips through metal, dear
i don’t think we are permitted this gentle mercy
whispers drift between the bars like falling petals
the wind carries a soft breeze to brush against our cheeks
the mist of our trembling breaths tangles around us
and no, oh no, i can’t
“my breath runs through your beautiful hair” you whisper
you continue “your beautiful lemon-scented brown hair”
“i want to press my face into your hair now”
oh, darling, i want to hold you too
i’m not sure if i’ve let go of your hands yet
distance is a bitter word i don’t have to speak when
a second of our fingers interlaced feels like an eternity of peace

the rust of centuries eats away at the silver metal
yet it stands unmoving between our two broken worlds
i press my palms against the freezing bar where yours rest
the night watches us fall into the dirt
“you feel me through you, don’t you?”
we slide down together, fingertips still touching through the gaps
a single rose petal lands on your cheek, then drifts to mine
as if the garden itself is weeping for our distance

the poets knew the truth when they spoke
of how a silent touch can quiet the entire universe
my muse, behind this gate, i can still write you
my hands fail to touch your cheek, but my words touch you
love stays, as soft wind grazes our pale skin
falling petals brush your face, then mine, but
maybe stars pass by and never illuminate our shadow
oh, darling, my chest aches to scream
you have struck the gate, and you will strike no more
every line of my palm belongs to every line of yours
i want nothing in the world the way i want this
my eyes tempestous, helpless, lifeless
but your fingers are here to find mine, and they always were
when our sorrow was seen by none but the night
i long for your lips, soft as roses, but i long for your embrace more
hold me through the gap before the dark swallows us
grief is just love standing behind a gate, desperate, just like us

our foreheads rest on the same cold rail
the space between our lips is only an inch of steel
i can feel the heat of your breath mixing with mine
“don’t look away, keep your eyes on mine” you whisper in the dark
i stare into those dark, tempestuous depths until the metal melts away
if the world made us enemies, it forgot to stop us from feeling
if this gate was built to separate us, it only proved how close we are
we intertwine our fingers in the small spaces between the bars
a touch so soft, yet heavy enough to break the earth open

the stars gather like pale witnesses above our separate exile
casting silver threads over two souls plastered against the same gate
i’d rather be sita, exiled together with you
but now i’ll find the outline of your hands by memory alone
we press our trembling palms together through the narrow gaps
where skin meets skin and the cold world ceases to exist

i love you through the cold, through the metal, through the dark
i’m your dark star, i touch you with my cold, shaking hands
and your starlight-lidded eyes break me over
and when we look in our midnight and shadow eyes
all we see is each other, not the bars between us
the metal pushes us away, but we are stuck
the sunlight fades away behind the gate vined with roses
the echoes ring but our touch never pulls back
as we are forced to sit, but we can never be forced to part
and when sorrow finds us, at the fence, heavy
love embraces us, before grief can take a step forward
and our eyes lock in the dark, still weeping
"the rose petals brush your cheeks in soft pink"
"and our tears stream down like quiet rivers"
now i know we are bound to opposite sides
love is just a blade when met through silver rails
"i’ll never pull my hands away willingly, my love, but the gate"

and if the morning arrives with darker shadows than the roses
we leave our fingerprints worn deep into these bars
proof that love was never defeated by the barrier, only held apart

the breeze still blows through the gaps, carrying our sighs
our fingertips pressed together in the dark
“i need your touch as much as you need mine” his voice husky
just one moment, i ask the rails to mist away
my tempestous eyes burn, i can’t bear this anymore
one moment, let there be nothing between us
let our bodies tangle into one, our hands clasped
and our lips meet, in reverence and devotion
that one moment, it feels like honey, like heaven, like love together

stay, my love, stay before the night forces us apart

but oh, will you let it happen? will i let it happen?

my heart, till death us depart

and death can’t touch us, until we touch it

i had a few lines left over from my poem: seven minutes. and i just loved that style, it was a little different than my original. so i wrote another poem in that style.

what i’m listening to right now: stuck with u by justin bieber, ariana grande.

and there’s nothing i, nothing i, i can do

i’m stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a crescent moon and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Silver Tempests was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem on how two years passed, and I’m not the same girl you knew.

i admire you
and all i do is spin it back to me
i thought i loved you
maybe i still do
my mind is scattered
in a hundred pieces
loving you feels like an open wound
consuming everything i used to be
you were the best
while i became the worst
two years ago
the truth was bare in your hands
and you knew it all along
every second, every minute, but
why did you break down?
why did you tear us apart?
the way everything unravels
i shatter things against the floor
then sweep up the shards
and pretend nothing happened
my love crumbled in front of me

i trace the edges
of apologies i never meant
swallowing the jagged history
of every yesterday
you keep searching for warmth
that isn’t here anymore
i’m wrong again
i let the silence stretch
across the empty room
we built a wall out of grief
you look for where the laughter died
while i watch smoke drift up
i’m wrong again
i locked the doors and hid the keys
so i could hide the hurt

i stare into the glass
and see a stranger’s face
your fingers brush against my cold cheeks
for what we left behind
my skin has turned to stone
i’m wrong again
i let the poison settle deep
upon my weary tongue
the sweetest words we sang
were sung too long ago
you try to force a spark
from ashes in the rain, look at me first
i’m wrong again
we built a cage of secrets
to keep each other safely out
and drowned our love in doubt

the midnight bleeds into the gaps
where we used to touch
i whisper words to empty air
that miss you far too much
phantom upon my chest
a ghost of what we thought we would be
i’m wrong again
i slip away like fine white sand
through our desperate hands
the clock ticks backward to the fault
of all our quiet crimes, mistakes
i’m wrong again
i counted the heartbeats that we missed
in all the wrongest times

i carve your name in morning fog
and watch it turn to water
a silver feeling of yesterday
that neither of us caught
i’m wrong again
i drink the twilight from a cup
of delicate etched broken porcelain
and give away the memories we kept
for hollowed grace again
i’m wrong again
i let the blue tide pull me down
beneath the white foam
where every tide i drift
refuses to lead home

the pale moths dance in light
around a dying flame
i hear you whisper through the dark
a forgotten version of my name, it feels beautiful
i’m wrong again
i gather up the constellation
shattered in my palms
and sing the winter to its sleep
with half-remembered psalms
i’m wrong again
i spin the thread of who we were
until it breaks in two
and bury all the golden light
i used to give to you

i weave the mist into my hair
and step into the frost
i don’t understand this feeling within me
make of mist and everything we lost
i’m wrong again
i watch the autumn leaves go dark
and press them to my skin
to feel the coldness of the world
where light has never been
i’m wrong again
i lock the safe of moonlit dreams
and leave the key behind
to walk the edge of empty skies
you’ll never, ever find

the walls are closing in
and every breath is sharp
you ask me where we lost our way
i don’t remember how to start
i’m wrong again
i stretched my hands once
when i thought you wanted to hold me
there’s nothing left of us
behind this door
i’m wrong again
i let the darkness win
because it feels so safe within
i’m not the same girl you fell in love with

i’m a lover girl scared of love

and you’re like a poem i wish i wrote

i still have things i wish to tell you

so, if you come back

will you stay?

on a lighter note, i think i’m back.

but also i don’t know, i don’t feel like writing, i don’t feel like watching arafta… and i’m obsessed with both. i don’t know what’s happening.

i’m done with my travelling and my trip, so:

me.

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a heart with arrow and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Not The Girl You Loved was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Claiming a love so raw and unguarded that even the sky slows down to watch.

His POV:

She stepped out into the open downpour, and for a fleeting breath, the entire universe seemed to hold its peace.

The earliest drops found her skin like shattered pieces of silver, trailing slow paths down the slope of her neck before losing themselves to her dress. Her hair, dark and heavy with water, began to contour her face, softening the clean edges of her smile, a smile so unblemished that it seemed to mock the heavy grey of the sky above.

She tipped her head back, letting her eyes close as if surrendering her whole being to the storm. There was an unbothered peace settled on her face, the kind of stillness I had spent a lifetime searching for, and finally found, with her.

Watching her, every rigid, guarded part of me simply began to melt. She had this beautiful power to reduce all my everything into a desperate need to just love her.

The rain cloaked her like a quiet, possessive lover, each droplet capturing the pale light before slipping gracefully over her skin. Her arms drifted outward, palms turned upward to the sky, as though she could gather the downpour in her hands and keep it close forever.

Watching her, a strange, sharp ache of jealousy bloomed in my chest. I envied those mindless drops of water. They moved so freely across her cheeks, traced the sensitive curve of her throat, and vanished into places my eyes could no longer follow, each one holding her in a way I desperately craved to. They hovered on the tips of her eyelashes before falling away, as if they had been satisfied just by resting there for a second.

My mind flashed back to a warmer afternoon today, when she had fallen asleep on my chest, her eyelashes casting long, still shadows in the golden sunlight. I was breathing softly then, terrified to move and break the spell. Now, under a completely different sky, she still held that exact same sacred innocence.

And seeing her now, washed in silver rain, that same consuming devotion rushed back to drown me, heavier and sweeter than before.

The way the drops caressed her collarbone, wrapped around the narrowness of her wrists, and slid off her fingertips made my throat go dry. Every single drop was claiming a piece of her that belonged to me. I just stood there, paralyzed, wishing I could snatch them from her skin and replace every cold drop with the warmth of my own fingers.

In that one moment, I couldn’t tell if I wanted to pull her back into the dry safety of my arms, or step out into the open and fight the storm for every inch of her it dared to touch.

The wet clothes clung to her like a second skin, and left nothing to the imagination, tracing the delicate contours of her body, the slender dip of her waist, the curve of her shoulders, and the length of her spine, each line framed like a living piece of art. Her dupatta, heavy with water, had slipped off one shoulder, weeping with rain as it hung limply against her arm.

A single stray lock of wet hair stuck stubbornly across her lips, and she brushed it away with the back of her hand, completely unaware of how my gaze was devouring her. She wasn’t just caught in the rain, she was drenched in a beauty so raw and unguarded that the sky itself seemed to slow its fall just to look at her.

I began to move toward her, my steps slow, driven by a pull far stronger than my own willpower. I loved her with a depth that felt almost heavy, our devotion had accumulated over every shared glance, every soft midnight conversation, and every promise we had ever made. The late-night drives where we spoke in whispers, trading our deepest secrets like fragile glass, and her hand was always in mine. Every milestone we had crossed, every quiet tear we had dried in the dark, it all led to this exact second.

The rain struck my shoulders with a cold sting, but I barely registered it, my entire world had narrowed down to her. When I finally closed the distance, close enough for the heat of my presence to break through the chill, she turned. Her wet hair swayed heavily with the movement, spraying fine beads of water into the air.

And then, she looked up and smiled.

It wasn’t a shy curve of the lips, nor was it bold, it was simply hers, soft, deeply knowing, and heavy with a thousand unspoken promises. It disarmed me instantly, slipping past every wall I had ever built and settling deep into the quietest spaces of my soul. Looking at her face, completely drenched by the water, the noise of my entire past just drifted away, leaving nothing but an overwhelming, aching tenderness.

Unable to resist the pull any longer, I reached out and wrapped my arms firmly around her waist, pulling her flush against me. I dragged her close until our chests pressed together, the sudden, intoxicating heat of her body seeping through the freezing, soaked fabric separating our skin. Her eyes widened slightly, a sudden flicker of surprise mixing with a deeper, darker hunger in the depths of her gaze. The rain poured over us in sheets now, blinding and unceasing, but the world outside of our embrace had ceased to exist.

“Shhhh…” I breathed, the whisper low enough to get lost in the downpour.

Her breath hitched, her eyes locking onto mine with a fierce, fragile intensity. In that silence, I lifted my hand, my fingers trembling slightly as I brushed the wet strands of hair away from her forehead. I let my hand linger, my thumb slowly tracing the line of her cheekbone, memorizing the texture of her skin through the cool layer of water.

Slowly, deliberately, I leaned down. My lips brushed against her warm yet rain-washed cheek. I stayed there for a long heartbeat, breathing her in, before shifting to the other side to press another tender, lingering kiss to her opposite cheek, feeling the shiver that ran straight through her body at my touch.

My lips traced a path of pure fire across her skin, worshipping the very breath she drew, wanting nothing more than to dissolve her shivers into our warmth. I moved to the tip of her nose, kissing it softly, and then up to her forehead.

And then, I paused.

Our breaths mingled, hot and shallow in the space between us. Her eyes searched mine, the background noise of the world dissolving into nothing but the sound of the rain. Closing the distance, I pressed my lips to hers.

It was warmth meeting ice, a spark igniting right in the heart of the storm. The kiss was deep, unhurried, and thick with a shared, desperate longing, a silent promise that in the middle of this downpour, she was mine, and I was completely hers.

And for a second, the storm felt just as small and safe as our home. The sky could weep all it wanted to. We were entirely away from the noise now, drowning in a sweetness that belonged only to us.

i may not be able to update in the next week, and i found this really old piece from a long time ago. so, i just posted it. :)

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a fireheart and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Intoxicated was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

When holding you in reality becomes impossible, I will find you in the fields of lush green.

YES! YES, IT’S ME! I’M SITA. important note at the end.

just a breath away
i’m tired of looking at you properly through sliver of mirror
twinkling under fairy lights
yet when i turn, i only see your eyes, nothing else

time seemed to hold it’s breath
reminding me with cruel tenderness
he is never mine
and i am never his

so let’s meet in lush gardens of green
lawns that span the expanse of my dreams
to love is to feel and to feel is to live
i felt once, and i don’t want to feel this again

call me selfish, call me evil
call me what they have all called me for years
once, i had thought i would go through the pain again
but i had become a madwoman, and i can’t let you go

how can you tell me i deserve someone else?
someone better, someone less scared
i don’t even deserve what you’re giving me
i don’t deserve anything but the dark

so no, i can’t go back
i can’t think of you again while holding another man’s hand
i can’t cry entire nights
fighting my heart between my past and present

don’t tell me what to do
yes, i’ll retreat back into my shell again
yes, i’ll unveil from dust
yes, i’ll break me down

i hide sadness behind anger
hurt behind coldness
fire behind shields
love behind poetry

so let’s meet in lush fields of green
there, i can love you to no end
no one is stopping us, no sunlight is blinding our eyes
just you, me and the rain falling like diamonds

so let’s meet in lush fields of green
where you are, there i am, there
we make crowns of flowers
that don’t exist in the real world

and let’s meet in lush fields of lavender
where our cheeks are kissed by flowers
and our smiles are touched by clouds
the world is painted blue, pink, and purple

and let’s meet in lush fields of lavender
where your hands brush against mine
and our hearts touch each other like old secrets
and your lips touch mine softly, at last

and let’s love completely
not hidden, not provoked
let out love be as lush as these fields
and as beautiful as these purple, purple flowers

yes. it’s me. i exist, i just changed my profile picture after a very very long time. i thought i should be consistent and have the same profile picture so that people can recognise me and i won’t lose my audience, but i lost it anyway, so perfect timing!

anyway, yes it’s me. not some random picture from the internet, this picture is me in art form. and it will stay for a long time, because consistency again.

also, i was going to take a very very long break. more like, stop publishing for a long while because i was getting tired over the algorithm and reach and what happened to my claps. but, i’ll keep going even if slow, because i’ve taken a year to come here, and when i pushed through then, i can now too.

life update: tomorrow is my last mid term exam, so wish me the best. a lot of festivals and travel awaiting me after this and i’m already so tired.

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a whatever and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Lush Gardens was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem on drowning in the salted pain and the symptoms you left behind.

i swallowed your poison until i ran out of breath
my youth sacrificed for a taste of your ghost
my throat is dry, and i can no longer swallow
this pill and this life with these symptoms

you are a pill i cannot swallow
the kind that leaves an aftertaste
it’s bitter, but can be so sweet
if only i could swallow it

you made me sicker than these pills did
would knowing that let you reminisce?

the clouds remind me of your colour
the sky and sea and shells
always and not unforgivingly paired with
the reminiscence of your best self

the shore holds the reminiscences of the shells
tracing lines of where we used to stand
a memory fading with every wave
slipping slowly like sand from my fingers

you left a poison in my quietest places
did you want me broken when you walked away?

i try to swallow down the thought of you
like another pill i cannot hold
bitter with every breath i draw
sweet only for the memory’s sake

the tide washes over the shattered shells
bleaching the colours we used to share
i walk besides what was left
breathing in cold salty sea breeze

i consumed every word you ever told me
tell me, did you choke on your own lies too?

you linger like a lingering taste
a medicine swallowed just to heal
yet every dose only deepens the ache
a bitter truth i cannot explain

i look at the sky and see your shade
softly dissolved in the distant blue painting
forgiving every mark, every stupid scar
still reminiscing the best of you

you buried me where the ocean lies
is this the memory you wanted to leave behind?

the pills remain untouched on the table
their bitter shadow staying in my throat
i sink beneath the tide of shells
too heavy for this life to float and live

there is no cure for what you left
no dose to clear this mind unfogged, but dead
just the lingering taste of your best self
drowned out forever by the pain

you dosage the damage and call it love
do you still sleep well knowing i’m ruined?

the symptoms don’t leave like you did
i stop pretending i can swallow the pain
i choke on the sea, the shells, your ghost
and let the bitterness remain, once i could hold it

now i lie where the ocean buries its dead
just like a shell crushed under reminiscence

i’ve seen many writers who have published real books here on medium:

L.Yadhu Bala Krishna’s A Life That Was Never Kind

Paulia Dianz ❃’s The Lie I Loved

Saksham Mundra’s Until I Could Breathe

for now i seem to remember only these, so forgive me if i haven’t mentioned your book. all the best to these aspiring authors and i hope you grow more and more!

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a seal and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Reminiscence was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem where forgotten songs hold the version of us we left behind.

on this quiet desk
forgotten silver disk
once a perfect circle of songs
now catching a single ray of warm sun
unfolding a secret rainbow, only for us

cracked case long lost
no playlist
just this old rainbow
shimmering in the soft afternoon
like a forgotten memory trapped in glass
holding a summer we forgot to name⁠ ⁠
waiting to be noticed again, felt again

surrounded by things that stay
the heavy books we placed face down
the worn black cases we threw paper balls in
it’s just a simple thing
holding songs we used to sing⁠
still shining, unlike us

dust settles on the edge
where finger marks used to be
back when we sat still on the floor, listening
and hours melted into nothing
under the same aged brown light from four years ago

it sits here now
holding quiet little ghosts of sound
sleeping and remembering the changing days
voices that aren’t around anymore
laughs caught between the tracks

shadows bend around the wooden grain
the world keeps moving on fast outside
but in this small familiar corner
the faint blues and greens stay still, untouched memories

a whole soft world held in place
waiting for a laser that used to burn late into the night
to just catch the fading glare of a room that felt like home
pretend it’s spinning again, with you and me

years drift by like quiet dust
and hours soften into golden hours
the vintage clock on the wall ticks away
unaware of the old photographs and voices preserved in the disk

nothing here feels rushed or lost
time didn’t throw this away
it just set it down gently
a friend resting a hand on your shoulder

the evening settles in deep, the same way it did before
and the room grows darker by degrees
yet that gentle shine lingers on
a little promise held in silence
that nothing beautiful truly fades

it holds the time of yesterday
without making a single sound
just resting in the stillness
folded into the room, brown, dusky, unused for years
like a love letter left open

we leave so much of ourselves behind
in small objects that do not speak
somehow they carry our light
longer than our own hearts remember
how to keep it burning

when the night fully takes the room
all the colors go back to sleep
it stays still in the dark
holding every version of us that faded
safe until tomorrow’s sun

gentle keeper
unbothered by how fast the world turns
sitting here being patient
with the silence it speaks
and the warmth it shared, memories it held

time is not a thief that steals
it’s just a slow river moving through
leaving behind these small quiet shores where
old burned mixes with fading scrawled marker titles rest

we think the seconds pull us away
from everything we used to love
no, time only softens the edges
saving the sweet essence of painful things
in corners we forget to look

it holds the weight of all those years we had
not as a burden or a loss
but as a peaceful place to land
where everything that mattered once
is still safe right where we left it

time moves with a patient step
never hurrying the things that matter
it lets the loud noise fade away
until only the warmth remains

and as seasons slowly turn around
time leaves a gentle dust on things
not to hide them from the world
but to wrap them up in peaceful sleep
like memories wrapped in our loved velvet cloth

time does not wash away the past
it only turns the volume down on what we became
so the love we left behind
can finally hear itself breathe
forgotten music can finally teach us to pause again

for time knows what is worth keeping
it doesn’t erase the sweetest days we don’t recreate
just tucks them into forgotten drawers with old wires
written notes and lyrics waiting for a quiet heart to come
and feel them all over again

left by time
to hold its light
until someone remembers
how it used to feel
to listen

are you saying the truth or am i lying?

because i feel left by you, left by time.

and if you’ve read till here, comment down a cd and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Left By Time was originally published in Shadows in the Library on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem on a quiet farewell to promises that were never meant to be kept.

wo jo shabe gham thi
meri palko ke ta’le
hum nay jalaaye thay
ashqo ke diyay
ranjaish bhari thi
har ek baat mein
fana ho gaye hum
tanhai ke saaye

(those nights of grief were locked
beneath my heavy eyelashes
i had lit a few tiny lamps
made only of my own tears
friction and resentment filled
every single word spoken
and i faded away completely
into the shadows of loneliness)

aapkay naam likhi
har ek shayari
lafzon mein baandhi
dastaan hamari
ishq aazurdah tha
har lamha mera
phir bhi aap na hue
meray hamsaye

(i wrote every piece of poetry
solely in your name
weaving our whole story
into desperate lines
my love was wounded and sorrowful
in every passing moment
yet you never became
my companion after all)

ishq ke safar mein
tashnagi hi rahi
hijr ki aag mein
rooh jalti rahi
aftaab dhal gaya
aayi noor-e-sahar
par dil ko mila na
kuch bhi sukoon haye

(on this journey of love
an unquenched thirst remained
in the fire of separation
my soul kept burning
the sun set at last
and the light of dawn arrived
yet my longing heart found
no peace at all)

wo jo rukh par thi
ek nazaakat aapki
jis nay sikhayi humein
aawargi meri
khumaar-e-mohobbat mein
khoya tha junoon
raahon mein bikhar gaye
naseeb ke saaye

(that charm that rested
upon your face
was the very thing that taught me
this restless wandering of mine
intoxicated in love’s deep spell
my obsession lost its way
as the shadows of fate
lay scattered along the paths)

ab jo dil nay suni
apni hi sadaay
khwahishon ki raah mein
har lamha jalay
humein zaat mein mili
apni hi parchaaye
aapki har wafa se
aagay hum nikal gaye

(now that my heart has finally heard
the echo of its own voice
every passing moment burns
along the path of my desires
within my own soul i found nothing
except my own lonely shadow
and far beyond your fragile loyalty
i have moved on at last)

aapkay waade nikalay
khwab ke shaaye
haath ki wo lakeerein
ab kis kaam aaye
hum nay har dukh saha
bin bataye
aapnay dikhaaye raaste
phir bhi na aaye

(your promises turned out to be
mere shadows of a dream
what use are those lines on my palm
that promised us together now
i endured every heartbreak
without uttering a word to anyone
you were the one who showed me those paths
yet you never showed up)

shahr-e-dil mein bichi
aah-o-baqay
aaj na koi apna
na koi hamsaye
har khushi jo thi
hawa mein uraye
ab hum hi hum hain
kisi or ke bina haye

(across the city of my aching heart
lamentation and sorrow are laid out
today there is no loved one beside me
nor any companion to lean on
every little piece of happiness i held
was swept away by the cold wind
now it is just me and my own solitude
without a single soul left)

dard bhi ab lage
zindagi ke roop jaisay
haathon se phisal gaye
saare hi saaye
hum nay dekha nahi
aapkay husn ke maaye
bas apnay hi junoon ke
deep hum nay jalaaye

(even this persistent pain feels like
the true face of life itself now
all the soft shelters of my heart
slipped right through my fingers
i stopped chasing after the illusions
and spell of your fleeting beauty
i simply gathered my own passion
and lit my own flickering lamps)

aap mile thay bas
naam ke sarmaye
aapkay diye hue zakhm
raahon mein bikhar gaye
ab na pucho hum se
hum kidhar ko jaaye
haath chuta toh hum
apnay hi ho gaye

(you were an asset only in name
a treasure that never truly existed
the deep wounds you left behind
lay scattered all along the open road
ask me no longer where i should wander
or which way my steps will go
the moment our hands finally unclasped
i finally belonged to myself)

collaboration #4 with Fatehana. thank you so much for writing with me! <3

and check out her poem too!

thank you to everyone who has replied to me about the 1k claps note that came with my previous post, but i want my hard work to reach out. And 1k claps is just the bottom line i’ve to reach before i post another piece. because this is a collaboration, i had to post it earlier, but i will wait for my recent three posts to get more reach before i post anything.

and if you’ve read till here, comment down a pie and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

From the creator of Quirky Rants: I’ve started a new publication called Nudge — a space for stories born from a sudden thought.

If you’ve ever had a thought that wouldn’t leave you alone until you turned it into a story, Nudge might be the place for it. Explore Nudge and submit your story.

Nudge — A Publication!

📌 This story is published under Quirky Rants — a home for unfiltered thoughts, everyday oddities, and real, relatable voices.
Want to share your story too? Join us here.

Quirky Rants — A Publication!

Ishq-e-Aazurdah: Wounded Love was originally published in Quirky Rants on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem on holding on love while needing to let go so that I don’t ruin you.

because there is something, and there is nothing
there is nothing in between
and in my eyes, there is a gentle flower
watching over me, you are singing
“a day, just a day without you, feels like a century”
i’m singing, “you’re, you’re what love is, and i am just a line without a-”
oh, dear, i am a wreck when i’m without you
i need you here to stay
crying at the lake, that day i found you
“was it something i said to make you feel like you’re a burden?” oh
“and if i could go back in time”
“i swear that i would pull you from the tide”

still fixing what happened in that corridor
can’t let go of the ghost of your hand on my waist
and you are singing, looking at me with your diamond-like eyes
“my love isn’t seasonal, it’s eternal”
i’m singing, “i’ve spent seasons of years looking at your photo”
and oh, baby, i didn’t know
that you loved me as obsessively as i do
oh, i didn’t know, i’m sorry
burdens hold burdens not to feel like them
i carried all of them home
loving you is just a game that slips off my fingers, dear
i don’t think i am deserving of true love

whispers float around us like flowers
the breeze picks them from the trees like sacred treasures
the mist from our beautiful voices swirls around us
and maybe, oh maybe
“and if i could go back in time” you sing
i continue “i would stop myself from loving a losing love-”
“no, i would love you openly forever”
oh, dear, giving us up took a lot
i’m not sure if i gave us up yet
regret is a forlorn word i don’t have to use
because a minute of loving you feels like an eternity of love

shakespeare was right when he said
“when love speaks, the voice of all the gods
make heaven drowsy with the harmony.”
when tempests rise, and words fail
and hands fail to touch and stray
love holds, a fragile bond when distant, nonetheless
cold breeze kisses our cheeks
imagined rain pricks our arms, but
maybe lanterns pass by and never lose their light
oh, dear, my soul struggles to speak
in vain i have struggled, and i will struggle no more
every part of me is in love with every part of you

i love nothing in the world the way i love you
i fell in love the way a flower drifts down, slowly
but you are now here to hold me, and you once were
when our music was heard by none but the fireflies
i will live in your heart, die in your lap, that is what my heart wants
bury me before i bury you
grief is just devotion with nowhere left to go, just like me
i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where
my wildflower, i hold you in my cold, trembling hands
but you hold me back with your warmth, undoing me
and when we look in our brown and black eyes
all we see is each other, not the dancing swans

when love breaks us, slowly but surely
and the light decides to hide away for a few years
the goodbyes echo and the words astray
as we are forced to leave, but when were we forced to stay
and when grief meets us, on the street, sudden
it hugs us with a cold warmth none of us realise
and our eyes twinkle for the first time in years, still fading
"the blood hibiscuses bloom in red"
"and our love pours out like overflowing floods"
now i think we are better off separate
love is just pain when met with years later
"i’ll never give up on you willingly, my heart, but we have to"

the tide still crashes by our feet, threatening to pull me in
our footsteps overlapping in the dark
i need you as much as you need me, would you know
just seven minutes, just us all alone
let’s love the way we used to, my love
seven minutes, let’s forget about the rest of the flowers
we are far too good at goodbyes
“and if i ever had the chance-” you sing
i sing back “i swear i would never leave you, never, my love”

i keep forgiveness in my mouth until it tastes like blood, so that you don’t grieve more than me

and maybe, oh, dear, i am the bleeding hand tainting the pure pink flower

leave, my love, leave before you feel obliged to stay

grief and heartbreak have stayed with me longer than seven minutes

how is the poem? <3 a new era of my poetry has begun… but i will be posting my old drafts in between too.

also, i won’t post until i reach 1k claps on this piece. this applies to every post. i just want to make sure that my piece has reached a few people. writers with less than 200 followers are getting 1.5–2k claps in 12 hours, the fact that i can’t reach 900 claps in five days, shows that my writing isn’t good enough. i can only expect at least 20 out of the ~1080 followers to fully read and clap for my post. i will be improving my work, for i have disappointed you, but please keep reading!

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a lotus and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Seven Minutes was originally published in Shadows in the Library on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A poem on how I will be born as your little sister, across all our lifetimes, forever.

annayya, ani nenu ninnu pilichina prathi nimisham
naa janmaki inkoka artham dhorikinattu anipisthundhi
haayi haayigaa nuvvu navvithe
enatiki nenu murisipothaanu

(every single moment that i call out to you, my big brother
it feels as though my entire existence has finally found its another meaning
when you let a gentle smile spill across your lips
my whole world lights up in pure joy)

apuroopamegaa naaku ekshanaalu
dhaachesukuntaanu gnapakaalugaa
annayya, nuvvu okka saari thalisthe
kallamundhu ilaaye vaalipothaanu

(these precious moments are so rare to hold for me
i will lock them safe away as eternal memories
brother, if you think of me for even a single moment
i will instantly appear right before your eyes)

nee andhamaina manasuloni prema enthundho?
nee chirunavve naaku dhairyamichindho
premaku nenu anarhurallini anukunnaanu
kani nee nindu gundetho nanu preminchaavu

(how much love do you have in that beautiful heart?
the way you smile at me makes me feel brave
i thought i wasn’t worthy of love
but you loved me with your whole heart)

nuvvu yenni dhooraalu ontarigaa nadichhaavo?
nee cheekatini naaku velugugaa maarchavo
naa kantlo raavaalsina kanneeti aapadaani kosam
nee raathrini pagalu chesi allaadipoyaavu kadaa?

(how many distant, lonely paths have you walked?
turning the darkness in your own eyes into a light for my life
to stop even a single tear from falling from my eyes
you turned your nights into days, restlessly breaking yourself for me, didn’t you?)

naakosam enno enno chesavu, annayya
mundhu dhoorangaa silalaa brathikaavu
naakosam nuvventha allaadipoyaavu
neekanna ishtangaa nee chellini choosukunnaavu

(you did so, so much for me, big brother
before you lived like a faraway stone statue
you broke and restlessly agonized so much for my sake
holding this little sister closer to your heart than yourself)

nee pichhi premanthaa naake dhachipetthesaavu
neekanna premaga ee chellini choosukunnaavu
kaani chaalu, nenu ninnu choosukuntanugaa
koncham navvu kadhaa, naaku saripoothundigaa

(you hoarded all of your fierce, crazy love just to keep it safe for me
sheltering this little sister with more care than you ever gave yourself
but that is enough now, i’ll take care of you too
just smile a little, it will be more than enough for me)

naa kougiloki vaccheyyi annayya
nee thalani naa bhujaana pettava?
aa muddu perlu nuvvu pilusthunte
naa gunde karigi podhaa prathi saari

(now come into my arms, big brother
rest your head on my shoulder?
call me by those cute nicknames
and my heart keeps melting everytime)

annayya nuvvu vacchaake
chellila nenu puttaane
annayya nuvvu pilisthe chaalu
gundeke kottha sandhadocchinde

(big brother, it was only after your arrival
that i was born into this world as a younger sister
the moment you call out my name, brother
a beautiful celebration floods my entire heart)

vanda janmaloo, veyi janmaloo
thoduga neeku vuntaanuga
nuvvu digulupadi okka kshanam vethikithe
nee gunde chappudai nenu ikkade untaanule

(even if a hundred lifetimes come or a thousand births pass us by
i will walk right beside you, never once letting go of your hand
if you ever feel lost and search for me for even a single second
i will be right here, like the sound of the beat inside your own heart)

aa nadhike paruge vasthe
neelaage vuntundhe bahushaa
nee allari choosina sitaakokaa
nee sneham kosam raadhaa nee venakaa?

(if that rushing river could come here
it would probably look exactly like you
the little butterfly that witnessed your playful mischief
won’t it follow your footsteps just to beg for your friendship?)

nee gundeki unna dhairyaanne
nee thoduga nenu chooshaane
aa aakaasham loni chukkannee
nee chiguru navve adigindhe

(i have always looked up to the quiet courage hidden in your heart
even the brightest star gleaming up in the midnight sky
bowed down just to ask for the secret behind your gentle smile)

daari choope velichivarai nenu
ninnu nadipisthoo vuntaanule
naakosam vethiki, vethiki
ye nimisham dhigule padipoku

(becoming the light that shows the path
i will keep guiding you forward through the dark
searching for me frantically in the empty spaces
do not let your heart sink into grief for even a single second)

nenekkadikelathaanu ninne vidichi?
nee vecchani oopirilo unnaanu kalisi
gundello unna dhighulni dhachesi nanu choosi navvaku
naaku motham chepeyu raa kannayya

(where could i ever go leaving you behind all alone?
when i am already together with the warmth of your breath
do not hide the ache in your chest and just smile through it when you look at me
tell me everything, my dear one)

nee gunde chappudullu vintune untaanu
nuvvu chese allarlu choosthune untaanu
naa velugudhhaari, yeppatikee nenu nee thoduntanu
ye janmakainaa nee chelligaa pudathanu, annayya

(i will forever stay here listening to the steady beat of your heart
watching every little piece of mischief you still do
light of my path, i will stay by your side for all of eternity
and in every future lifetime, i will be born as your sister, my big brother)

నా అన్న <3 (my big brother)

happy vinayaka chavithi to everyone! wishing you all happiness and joy this festival!

anyways, if you’ve read till here, comment down a sparkle and your thoughts on my piece!

sita | catching fallen stars just to turn them into stories.

/@sitamahalakshmi on medium.

Velugudhhaari: Across Lifetimes was originally published in No Time on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.