~ Rumi

You’re spiritual.

I know how it is. I get it.

You got up early this morning, meditated like a champ, did some yoga, breathed like a dragon thru your nostrils, ate a smidge of air and fruit, donned some flowy thing, applied your most essentialist of oils and rolled into the day ready for your role as, “spiritual”.

Along the way, you decided to pop into the local coffee shop, or tea salon, or Kombucha parlor,(locally sourced, super organic, hell they don’t even fart in the place) and grabbed a $6 cup of goodness.

And…you were a dick.
Actually no, not a dick, but irritable.
Or, if not irritable, checked-out. On your phone. In your head.

Someplace else.

You played along. “I’m fine”, “Thank you (with a glancing smile)”. And then split. Out the door. On to the next.

You engaged with the barista just like everyone else. They won’t even remember you 2 minutes from now, nor you them.

You engaged with another person, another precious human being, another inhabitant of this crazy planet and weren’t in fact “there” at all.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, you’re spiritual.

I do this.
Full disclosure.
I definitely do this.

Many times I have been in a line at Starbucks, or been waited on by a server, or been sold virtually anything at a store or shop, got my haircut, told someone to “filler up” and have been completely, utterly, “dark”.

(“dark” is my word for when I’m in my full-blown, asleep, checked-out, lights out, mind-mode.)

When I’m onstage delivering a talk, or with my partner, daughter or family, or when creating with others, I’m dialed-in — lit up, focused and clear. Many other moments, where there are no seeming stakes, I drift off, back into dark mode.

I’m not alone, no. In fact, most people have bouts of going dark every day. Even us so-called spiritual folk. It’s normal, and accepted. But, do we acknowledge this? Are we able to see that, quite often, I’m not “here” in spite of how “ascended” I consider myself to be.

It is the conundrum of conundrums: can I awaken to see that I am asleep?

If we can see and accept this, we might just expand past this nasty ole habit and shine more brightly in all of these seeming irrelevant moments (more on that in a sec).

Why do we do this? Why is being checked-out — EVER — seen as OK? Why prefer that over simply being here? What’s going on? What’s missing?

On one level, the truth is that we (yes, probably you), have dressed up spirituality and presented it to the world in all sorts of ways while…not actually embodying it much at all. Or barely embodying it. Sure, your last 19 Facebook posts got dozens of likes (and hearts too!). But, in the real moment-to-moment walk of life, are you truly “here”, at all?

Now, we might understand in the mind the truth of life and consciousness, but most have yet to embody it in our essence, or being, in any lasting, durable way. Yet, many of us will present ourselves as being much further along than we truly are still seeking validation from the outside (yet now, it’s our uber-spiritual friends, clients & all those others we don’t physically know but who clearly see us as “spiritual”).

And yet, when I look at what truly inspires me, it’s people speaking clearly from where they truly are and how they are slowly — yet surely — integrating powerful, spiritual concepts into a living, breathing truth.

This fully transparent and naked sharing, where all aspects of the journey are revealed and reflected, are where true serving can occur. Until we fully speak from where we are, honoring all sides of our journey, embracing and including the shadows, the darkness, the challenges, we won’t fully serve in the way in which we are truly capable.

What most people need is someone willing to show them the NEXT stone across the river…not so much the final one.

But more important than our spiritual social status, is the “why” of why we drift off, and the powerful lessons it contains. It begins with accepting as true that for much of our lives, we still drift off into sleep, into our minds, not yet fully embodying what we know to be true.

Not. Really. Here. At All.

I do it, and you do too.

If we’re able to accept this, we can then dig into the crucial understanding of why this is so. Why are we here one moment and gone the next? This article aims to uncover this why and help anyone willing to embrace and begin the extraordinary journey of, more and more, simply being “here”.

And, it all coalesces around that special moment in the cafe, or restaurant, or gas pump, where you interact with someone in the most innocent, innocuous way — something I refer to as the “Barista Moment”.

Level I: Perception

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.

~ William Blake

It begins with perception.

Moments of heightened awareness are often accompanied with the perception that “something is on the line here.” I perceive stakes, so I engage. I’m on a date with my beautiful wife, or I’m present to my incredible daughter as she’s learning something new, or I’m at a retreat, or meditating, creating with others, in nature, with a family member who is passing away. In these scenarios, there seem to be higher stakes than in the barista moments of life.

But, if we have had any sort of spiritual awakening, haven’t we also seen that life is what we create it to be? And that there are always stakes, or relevance, to every moment and interaction?

From a “person” standpoint, it’s clear that if I’m really in flow with my team, then what’s created from that will be of a much higher quality than, say, if I’m tuned out. Same with my family — if I’m present with my attention, my sense of connection with them and their experience of me — is much, much more than if I’m scanning Twitter all the time.

The word perceived is key here though. For, could it not be the barista, or server, or gas pumper, or…whomever, who offers me the perfect inspiration for a new article, or who points me towards an amazing video on YouTube, who helps me connect with an individual I’m destined to create something with…or, who might truly benefit from someone simply being “there” with them at this moment, gently and vibrationally reminding them of who they truly are?

Someone who is able to step past their own limiting BS and give their full attention to another who might be unknown to them on this silly plane of reality, but — as we know — an integral part of the greater One that we all are?

If I truly create my own reality, why drift off into sleep and opt-out of consciously creating and, instead, fall back into the program of mind?

So, it begins with perception, but goes much deeper. This flawed seeing is really rooted in a greater delusion — the delusion that I NEED my mind in the first place to generate outcomes and results in life. This is what I call…

The delusion of control.

A Case Study of Surprise

Haven’t we all experienced this before? Where a seeming moment of nonchalance turns into…a life changing experience?

Years ago, I would joke around with a young worker in a bodega in Greenwich Village, NYC. One day, amused at something I shared with him, he suddenly grabbed my hand and gave me a palm reading. Unbeknownst to me, his father was an expert palm reader in India, and had taught him the sacred art. He proceeded to tell me things that — then, and now — blew my mind. I was with a friend, who’s jaw was on the floor at how incredibly accurate and precise the reading was. It was that kind of moment.

He gave me something real. It was a stunning moment of generosity that has never left me.

By being open to a little magic in that moment, I received it. And yet, I forget this all the time. It could be said that this is the great tragedy of humanity — we consistently forget that the generous universe is desperate to connect with us in any and all moments. If we would only show up, ready and open to receive.

The barista moment might be the clearest litmus test of our true place in the ascension ladder. The only moments of higher clarity are our most intimate relationships — our kids, partners, parents, co-creators. For it is in these where we can be most easily triggered, showing us the deeper areas of work and transformation still needed. The barista moment, however, is more about our general, waking state — which, quite literally, creates 99% of our life.

In other words, stakes are deceiving.

If I continually play at life on the level of “reality” never inviting in more it will never show up. The stakes are always high, though I fail to see this over and over and over again. The barista moment contains as simple a transaction as there could possibly be, there are no seeming stakes which is precisely why it is so revealing.

Can we be aware of more in such a clear moment?

I began to see this in myself a few years ago — that my awareness was heightened with my wife, or daughter, or at say a retreat or in epic nature. I was super dialed-in during my morning practice, or when creating or writing. But, why during life’s other moments of flow would I check-out? Why not be fully engaged, present and alive…then too?

Why opt-out — ever?

My Brief History of Everything

Everyone has their truth, here’s mine: we are One. You, me, that guy over there, your dog, the trees, your awesome record collection, the barista, the asshole driver on the 5 Freeway (you know who you are) — every aspect of creation IS consciousness, we are One. That said, we are also veiled, and caused to believe that we are separate in order to fully experience certain relevant themes of our soul’s journey in this life.

If I popped outta mom’s womb all self-aware and clear, there would be barely any reason to incarnate other than to fully point the way to the absolute for others.

Even this guy had to first reconnect with his divine nature. This guy too. This extraordinary woman. Oh yeah, and this guy. Also her. Her too. And let’s not forget…you know who.

Dare I say, all of us are here to remember who they truly are and, hopefully, help others do the same. I, you, they, he, she…all illusion at the level of consciousness. Of course, for someone to know that, it has to be experienced — i.e. seen directly. And prior to that, one must be open to it in the first place (“you non-dual people are nuts!”).

There must be a nagging sense of “there’s more here than traffic, my job, dogs, sex & books” in order for this desire to arise for someone in the first place.

Each of us is here to actualize our knowing that I, you and we are One. That we are God. The creator initiated this whole mess of creation in order that “it” (you, me) might remember who we truly are. Individually, the vehicle through which this realization can be experienced is my calling or life purpose. When I’m tuned into this state, I’m lit up like a Christmas tree. I can’t help but serve, be generous, trust, love, express kindness and warmth. I’m on the fast track to self-realization.

When I’m not, you’d never know I’ve read “the Gita” (how us spiritual peeps refer to the classic Indian text, The Bhagavad Gita) multiple times, been on all sorts of wacky spiritual retreats, meditated for an hour a day for months in a row, and even sat by the Ganga herself (Ganga is how us spiritual peeps who have actually been to India refer to the holy River Ganges).

Nope, absent that state, I’m fully dark, hunkered down, duking it out with the world and of service to absolutely no one.

So, if we’re all one (or, if you’re someone who believes that’s the case) AND that higher self — or God — can and will use any opportunity to reveal the truth of its majesty to me be it in the form of a lifelong friend, a piece of advice, a connection or fill me with the ecstasy of being present and “here” whenever I like…

Why the hell do I check-out at the barista moment? Why do I check-out…ever?

Can I take your order please?

Level II: The Delusion of Control

The answer is simple: I erroneously perceive that there is greater benefit to being checked-out than being dialed-in in those moments. Or, I forget (often) that I am an aspect of God, here to create magic and transform the planet (for, if you look around for a sec, you might notice that shit here is whacked) and default into what I’ve been essentially programmed to do…get by.

This is preferred as it seems more beneficial to duke it out with life than to trust that the flow that longs to pour through me is far wiser, and more efficient, than my mind.

This is the essence of the delusion of control:

I think my mind is actually influencing and arranging life in the way I believe it is, rather than preferring and creating a heightened state of being which, energetically, does influence the appearance of the world.

And, in order to know my state of being, I must be present. Otherwise, it will default into the programming of reacting to life (as a toddler might say “you did that so I feel bad!”) rather than remembering to create, consciously, what is generated next.

Aren’t virtually all of life’s systems setup to emphasize this delusion (high school anyone??). It’s truly remarkable that anyone wakes up in the first place.

A few years ago, I had the amazing experience of interacting with theater director Peter Brook (a known adept of G.I. Gurdjieff, and a spiritual teacher himself). I had seen his wonderfully elegant “Don Giovanni” in Aix-en-Provence, and decided to approach him after he gave an interview at a cafe the following day. When he turned to greet me, I recall the power of his gaze. His blue eyes radiated a “something”, a clarity, a light. It was powerful. It stayed with me, more than any of the words that we exchanged. This willingness of his to simply be there with me, present, attentive was what registered so deeply within.

He could have chosen not to. He could have blown me off and walked to his car. Instead, he gave me his attention, his presence. I can still feel this in my being. The simplest of gifts, that tap into eternity, are there to be given and received always.

So much of what we’re taught in this world of illusion and form is that we’re a person in a body who must fend for himself in a hostile world. That there is a tenuous security to attain and hold onto. That we must fight, claw and climb. School backs this up by coaching our mind (almost exclusively) to be skilled at the external ways of the world. This then generates often years of struggle in jobs we loathe, climbing, scratching and…existing.

Some of us then pop-out of this mind/world reality and have an awakening. We see, experience and feel that there is more. For the few, this happens suddenly, like a flash of light or an explosion of energy. For most, this is a slower process marked with moments of deep clarity and insight, followed by a step back and the subsequent forward march of integration. The latter has been the case for me.

To truly let go and allow…this is where true wisdom lies. My resistance to embodying this more and more lies in my delusional conviction that I must control my life in order for it to work.

Control.

And yet, when mind takes over, we have a life and world completely out of control don’t we? We’re controlling how we’re seen by others, our status, our membership in the tribe of humanity. We’re controlling our job, traffic, my child’s life experience, my income. And, we think it actually works. When, like I said, if you look around…is anything working?

The world quite clearly and urgently craves people who are willing to stick their necks out and lead the way. And, yet, many of us don’t do it. Or we do it by dressing the part rather than revealing our heart. Even those of us (myself included) who have had the experience of waking up, and know it to be a better condition. It is still the validation and approval of others that matters more. What’s needed to scale the hurdle?

Faith.

A faith in the flow of the universe, Source, God…whatever rings your bell…that it’s wisdom and capacity is far greater than my mind. Every time I do this, magic happens, flow occurs, inspiration appears. For me, the process of living this more and more has been gradual. Let go a little, clench, let go, clench, let go, clench…

Sure, I still have barista moments — but they are less and less. You may not be able to tell a difference day-to-day, but month-to-month? Definitely. More and more, I prefer the flow over the manic mechanism of mind.

A living faith then. Not one solely centered in the mind (though it may start there) but a faith that is active in one’s being. What’s needed are people willing to truly let go and allow whatever wants to pour through a full blown open channel to do just that.

For if I surrender control, in the full knowingness that all is well in allowing this flow of infinite wisdom and love, I can fully let go and be “here”. The mind is no longer needed for this. It can return to it’s rightful place as servant, rather than master.

Now About Those Stakes…

What if you had one day to live? Or, better yet, what if today was the final day for planet Earth. A comet, unknown to any, was throttling through space and about to blow this beautiful, blue orb into smithereens (and us along with it). Now, let’s say YOU were the only one who knew that.

Feel that for a second (or, better yet, a few seconds).

Now look around you. How do you feel looking at the family eating an afternoon snack at the table next to you. Or the 3 girlfriends who have been Instagramming for 90 minutes consecutively across the room. Or, the couple next to them in a heated discussion.

Or, the barista.

Doesn’t your heart just fill with love and deep, overwhelming compassion for them? Don’t you want to hug them and tell them they are loved by source? Don’t you want to say, nay shout, the truth of life as you see it from the rooftops?

Don’t you want for them deep, endless, spectacular freedom from the pain of trauma they carry and the false delusion of mind-imposed limits on what life can be?

If you have a child, think of him or her right now. Imagine there was no hope at all — destruction was certain, in fact it could occur at any second. Now, you are sitting with your son or daughter. You can not save them. You can only be with them. You can only love them from the purest place within yourself. This is all that remains.

Wouldn’t you want to really be here, fully, dropping everything else? Now? And see it through to the end?

Guess what? This is actually happening. Perhaps not today. But, the way we are treating our beloved planet is almost certainly causing us to move forward towards an inevitable cataclysmic end in some way or another. The war. The manipulation. The deceit. The environmental destruction. The fear. The pain.

The control.

You being “there” — or, rather, “here” — while with the barista might be the single most important thing you ever do. It could save a life. It could create ripple effects that possibly change the world. It will certainly — 100% guaranteed — serve you and your life far more than checking your Twitter feed or posing for your next Uber Spiritual Insta pic (like those girls across the way…scoff!).

And yet, we will forget this. I will forget this.

We will allow ourselves to be lulled back into the dim, dark world of sleep. We will allow the world and its seeming chaos to turn our lights out. We will forget the probable, imminent cataclysm of a planet truly in peril.

Or, will we?

It’s a decision to jump into a full-blown faith, dropping every agenda other than what wants to pour through. Surrender the seeming control of your life, what you will create, how it will look, who will be by your side and what your wacky old Aunt will think.

It’s a decision to give your life to the most electric adventure known.

The unknown.

You in?

BIO: With my wife, Theresa Sgobba, we joyfully operate our business, Ownstream , which helps people exit the mainstream “matrix” creating their fully expressed and unique path in life. I also produce immersive, experiential works of performance having founded and produced the BEAT Festival in Brooklyn from 2012–16 & am currently creating a large immersive theater piece loosely titled the “Great Awakening”. With our beautiful daughter Sofia and our awesome dog Magic, we currently live in the mountains of Costa Rica, Southern California and our beloved ’05 converted Sprinter van. Follow me on Twitter for continued updates, silly pictures and, sometimes, an inspired word or two :)

I’ve studied the rather tantalizing and oft misunderstood law of attraction for over a decade. I have had my ups and downs with the practice, being convinced at times that I haven’t a clue what I’m doing and, at other times, highly certain that I was finally getting somewhere. Only recently have I fully grasped the true scale of the law which I feel might help others in their journey towards creating their reality consciously, and based on what they truly, deeply desire.

Specifically, I have come to two significant realizations (at least to me) that I wish to share. One deals with the practice of transforming beliefs (and 2 effective ways to do so) and how that is very different from changing one’s thoughts and, the other relates to the nature of desire, or what “I” truly want.

I have been on a spiritual path for over 20 years now. Along the way, I’ve brushed up against many a teaching and community, most of which left me wanting. For the better part of a decade I was in the Gurdjieff work in New York City. I met some wonderful people and worked with a truly evolved and awakened teacher who had a marvelous gift for reaching people (particularly us younger folk).

I experienced a powerful depth of being within this community, one I am grateful for each and every day. But, many of the people in “the work” didn’t seem to be truly thriving or serving in a way that I felt called to. I wanted more clarity and direction on expression and creating life in a way which felt highly aligned and exciting to me. Also, there was an odd joylessness to the vibe. So, I moved on.

I was also very active in Paramahansa Yogananda’s “Self Realization Fellowship” in Southern California. This is a beautifully, vibrant community with some truly wonderful people. That said, like the Gurdjieff teaching, it felt to me like it hadn’t stayed in step with the times and, instead, continued to reflect back on what was brought by a great master, but that also didn’t feel as razor sharp in this era.

That said, like with many, my spiritual journey has largely been held within my being and has been informed and catalyzed by all sorts of forces, techniques and philosophies (none as clear and effective as the current teaching brought by Bentinho Massaro). But, so much of my path of awakening has revolved around the law of attraction — understanding it fully and delving into the depths of its power and wide-ranging truth.

Law of Attraction: My First Taste

My first exposure to the law was via the documentary film, “The Secret”. A dear friend at the time handed me this mysterious DVD (remember those?) and urged me to watch. That evening, I popped it into the DVD player and felt both a tremendous excitement and “knowing” alongside a healthy dose of “oh God this is so lame”. And after a few feeble attempts to implement what the film reveals, I dropped it.

It wasn’t until a few years later that a very good friend of mine who had been involved in the Gurdjieff teaching some years prior mentioned that she had been reading Abraham Hicks’ Money and the Law of Attraction. I was, frankly, surprised. But, as we spoke about it more and more, the basic tenet seemed indisputable — that, we are all energetic beings and that our reality is based upon what is attracted to this state. Everything is vibration, in other words, and what we draw into our reality is based upon our state of being.

On the way home that night, I slipped into Barnes & Noble and snagged a copy. I recall being somewhat embarrassed at buying it at the time, as if it revealed me as some sort of new-age spiritual loon. But, I did it nonetheless and began to practice the law in my life, to the best of my ability.

(BTW — is it necessary for all new-age spiritual books to look like they just fell out of an acid trip? The color, the fonts, the imagery…c’mon people!)

At first, it didn’t go so well. The patterns of worry and negativity around virtually everything in my life were strong. So strong, in fact, that I would often be completely swept away by these old habits to the point of even entirely forgetting the law of attraction and how it worked.

I would find myself worrying about something and then, as often happens, beat myself up for worrying thereby compounding the angst. Eventually though, this leveled out. I could see that the universe, in all its glory and majesty, didn’t necessarily punish me for my low vibes as much as it would show me that it was often unnecessary and irrelevant. But, at the same time, I didn’t really feel any shift or change in what was being drawn into my experience either.

The next phase was where I remained for some time — and too where I see others stay, and often get stuck. This was where I became aware of my thoughts which were generating my world or creation. So, I could see how by getting worked up in traffic created me not finding a parking place at the mall or how by being worried about how money wasn’t flowing in a certain business venture would create even more lack of flow.

Upon seeing this low state of being I would scramble to change my thoughts:

Ugh, I still haven’t heard from a certain funder about supporting my project

to

There is always enough money in my life to do, have and create what I desire

I would feel a moment of reprieve, but would usually need to do this again and again and again…and often, couldn’t fully spin out of the cycle of fear and lack using these reframed thoughts. It was as if I was using the words and ideas to reverse a feeling that was coming from a much deeper place within. Or, it was like trying to build a house with a screwdriver and whatever else I could find in Grandpa’s basement.

After struggling with this for a few years, I gave it up. I continued my spiritual path, meditating, doing yoga, and trying to live a life of service. But as far as truly conquering this longing to fully step into my fullest power and knowing that “I create my own reality” — I dropped it. I literally decided that “this is not true.”

And then my wife got pregnant.

It was the summer of 2015 when we learned we were going to have a baby, and becoming a parent has been the single greatest catalyst in my spiritual life. We subsequently moved from Brooklyn to Encinitas, CA (cause who wants to haul a stroller up and down a subway staircase? Not me!) whereupon I quickly took up the role of IKEA furniture builder which meant hours of me in our daughter’s future room building a crib, dresser and more.

One day, while doing battle with some pressboard and an allen wrench, I had the idea to listen to something uplifting to help me stay in a better mood. So, I popped open my computer and began listening to all sorts of meditations and talks on spirituality. It was then that one of the many Abraham Hicks stations began to appear in my suggestions. I clicked one and after a few moments of listening, I immediately felt better. I listened to another, and another and another until I was exclusively listening to Abraham while building IKEA furniture in our apartment.

It was then, by listening to the infinitely wise Abraham channeled through the most heroic Esther Hicks that I realized that, at a deeper level than thought lay certain, specific beliefs that were driving my thinking and setting my vibration. I had heard this before, but now I was clearly ready to actually see this truth at play in my life.

How then to change these beliefs? How to start truly seeing the universe as an abundant place? What was one to do?

Well, in Southern California, you hire a coach — which is exactly what I did.

I learned a lot from my law of attraction coach (yup, that’s right), and mainly how to see past the thoughts and into the beliefs driving those thoughts and my life in general.

There were a few notable ones that needed some help:

1. That money and wealth come from hard work and stress
2. That I couldn’t change, and that I should just accept my “lot” in life
3. (The biggie) That I wasn’t truly worthy of success, abundance or happiness

I’m not worthy (cue Wayne and Garth).

Underneath virtually everything sat a most toxic — and highly arrogant — belief. That God, in all its majesty and power, had singled me out to be “less” than others. That I was so special that I had been deemed to be rather unspecial. That I wasn’t actually designed or destined for success or joy, so I had best not even try.

Upon seeing this, I began to seek to remedy it. How to feel my true worth? How to know I was as worthy as anyone else?

At first, I reverted to where I last left off with the law of attraction by, again, trying to change my thoughts moment to moment in order to transform my state. I would also find myself staring into the mirror, repeating “I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy”.

Now, these aren’t completely ineffective and do have some short-term value, but as for being a full remedy to transforming these powerful beliefs, they aren’t gonna get the job done (at least for me).

I had to look, and focus, into a deeper place — the place from which these beliefs arise. One I had been avoiding, and that had been crying out for me for years.

Here is where it begins to get interesting and where the path of self-empowerment leads to deep, inner transformation and awakening. In my experience, the search for enlightenment and the realization of more power in life go hand in hand. One cannot find their true power without unlocking deep states of being, nor can one fully see ones true self and all of the latent beliefs shaping our world without endeavoring to manifest and create in life.

Healing or transforming unworthiness into worthiness is no overnight matter. Most of the people I know in the spiritual community now struggle with this. It seems we’re all programmed from an early age to believe we are not worthy. That others are “better” and that we are “less”.

How to resolve these deep-seated feelings of lack and pain? How to clear these beliefs in order to fully allow the abundance and generosity of the universe to flow?

For me, it begins with the utmost devotion to this truth:

I create my own reality — constantly, always, in every moment.

Or, that what is appearing now as a lack or contraction is literally being created by me to help me move forward, to evolve and wake-up. It’s a call to greater seeing, clarity and transformation — not a punishment. I am not a victim — ever.

(In other words, if you are triggered by this essay and my point of view, it is you creating that response in order for it to be seen, healed and transcended. Interesting eh? I wipe my hands of you!)

There is a wisdom — always — to what occurs in life. It is there FOR me. Upon seeing a contraction or distortion I must go INTO it, bringing awareness and love in order for the energies to clear. And, best to go into it when it arises.

This takes some time, or at least it has for me, as I’m still given to pulling away from the pain once it comes up and trying to quickly change my thoughts, or more likely, scramble to focus elsewhere while not fully taking advantage of the opportunity to see from where this experience of contraction arose.

Most of the people I know do this — whether they be a spiritual seeker or not. We bounce off experiences, which often refute my self-image of , say, “Spiritual Stephen” (or, your name, perhaps?), where going more deeply within myself and seeing — clearly — the nature of my creation, and invite a higher level or quality of energy to enter and clear this field of distortion. What I’ve found is that it’s not even imperative to dissect the contraction as we might in therapy, but what is crucial is to understand it from an energetic standpoint — to feel and experience the energy move without being utterly consumed by it.

So, triggers are then in fact magnificent blessings showing me where in my field of energy lie possibly hidden or latent, tired old lack beliefs which powerfully shape my reality.

So, if you look at your bank account and feel a twinge or if you get a bill from a doctor which causes you to lose your shit (hey, we’ve all been there)…rejoice! In fact, this is a GOOD moment to look not so much at the appearance (though you’ll probably want to deal with the bill, but from an untriggered place) but at the state of being that is now apparent. 10 minutes ago, you were unaware that this lack belief existed and now you are.

In fact, to fully understand the law of attraction, I must consider that much of what is contained in my vibratory field is often latent — and, not blatantly apparent in my experience. So, to truly step into the law’s full power is to welcome these moments of clarity as a gift of seeing more deeply the truth of who I am. Just because a contraction, or lack belief, is latent doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And life, in its infinite wisdom, WILL present these to me, from a place of pure love…an invitation to transcend and move beyond.

So, even though I may feel good on a Saturday morning and think I’ve got it all figured out there are probably deep-seated beliefs, some that have traumatized me for years, awaiting a moment to make an appearance. This point is essential, as these latent, deep beliefs are the ones with the most power, holding sway over my life. In order to emerge from the shell of lack, trauma and pain, I must deal with these sooner or later.

So, how to specifically handle a moment where a belief such as these are triggered and appear as a powerful emotion (energy in motion, nothing more)? How to BE in this moment in order to invite a higher density of energy into the equation?

Changing Beliefs: Method #1

For me, the key is to go INTO the energy and power released by belief in the form of this present emotion. Allow the anger (for ex) to fill your body, your field of energy, give it it’s fullest expression (note — this is very different than lashing out and throwing dishes, OK?). Then, as Robert Scheinfeld says in his ground-breaking Bustin’ Loose From The Money Game (easily the best money book ever written), even paint the worst possible outcome imaginable in that moment — really give it its full energetic voice. Then…something magical can happen.

Going into this newly released energy is VERY different than what many of us are accustomed to via psychotherapy. I’ve been down the therapy road, and it can work — but often very, very slowly. Quite often, talking about one’s trauma or pain amplifies it rather than dissolving it. The reason is simple — dissolving a contraction (ie, a lack belief) in our energy field requires a higher quality of energy to do so. Quite often, talk and focus on a specific issue or challenge expands the old problem in the first place due to the context being the same. What’s needed here is a higher level of understanding and awareness.

By being aware, or conscious, of a contraction in the moment it arises we introduce a higher dimension of energy — the awareness itself. There is nothing “to do” in fact, but be with the released energy, observe it from this pristine and clear place. This act of clear attention IS love. It is what this trauma or pain has always needed. But, too often, we run when it’s time to love.

Many choose to stay on the surface of the moment, masking it with all sorts of nonsense designed to protect from deeply seeing what the truth is. Many will actually “get angry” (very different from what I outline above), or will pretend that they weren’t angry and that “all is well” or mask it with some other mumbo jumbo. In fact, by bouncing off the energy at that moment, we insure it’s return. The trigger is the announcement then of something deeper which needs clarity and seeing — but in this beautiful light of clear, radiant awareness.

Now, about those so-called spiritual seekers. Aren’t we all guilty of this a bit? Sorta dressing the part of the spiritual person, but not really embodying it?Everywhere I go I see people dressed in flowing, colorful clothes, tattooed with OM symbols, sporting a very fashionable spiritual hairdo and smelling of the latest essential oil but…who are still trapped in the same old patterns of lack and fear. Many attend endless retreats and seminars and present themselves as more evolved than they truly are (often to maintain a business or coaching clientele).

Bentinho Massaro correctly points this out as BS and encourages people to see past these stale, old practices and fully step out from our true state of being. Forget about looking the part, BE the part…or, better yet, BE you. (This might be why he draws the ire of those particularly consumed with this state of make believe.)

I have definitely presented myself as “more evolved” than I am to protect a seeming social/validation plateau that I imagine I have. The approval of others and their “respect” are more important than fully healing myself and stepping into the unknown of what life might be like without all this baggage and the system of protection I’ve designed.

But, due to seeing this pattern, I have begun to both heal the pain which launches this form of fronting and to also discard the NEED for others to approve of me in any way. The result has been the most palpable sense of freedom I have ever experienced. So, I’m by no means “done”, but I know I’m on the true path for me.

All healing is then is contained in the pure allowance of a contraction, trauma or pain to fully arise and be adored as part of my creation. Once I do this from this higher state of being, anything that doesn’t correspond to or match this higher frequency of energy will be transformed. It might take some time, but it is certainly more effective than years in a therapy chair and thousands of dollars down the drain. If you’ve ever heard of self-healing, this is it on the simplest most direct scale. The beauty is, you can do it now — for free.

Changing Beliefs: Method #2

But, there is a faster way too which doesn’t ask me to go into these old patterns and heal but that is an invitation to consistently step into what is often called one’s “calling” or “purpose”. In my experience, this state of being is also my connection with the divine, or source (as Abraham calls it).

So, think of the first method as remembering in the moments of being triggered to allow in a higher frequency of energy. Method #2 is about simply being, or consistently resting, in that higher state —and the more often, the better.

Once one fully knows his/her calling or “reason for being here”, it releases an intoxicating energy into one’s system. It feels exquisite, truly unlike anything else. My experience is that, from this state, virtually anything is possible and I am abundantly free and fully out of the matrix of thought entirely. Living FROM this place is the goal, constantly following my bliss, or excitement. What’s interesting is that when I do, these old contractions never even show up. I believe this is due to the fact that, from this elevated place, I am fully connected to God, Source, the Universe and AM in my optimal state of being. There’s nowhere to go, for I am already there. From this place of maximum flow and clarity, I am not the same person that generated these old lack beliefs in the first place.

From this place, I am God — and not a “person” at all. Not God in its entirety, but have arisen to my highest potential state — a state of union with the divine. For many of us, this seems improbable as we have been convinced by many that God is far from us, judgmental, unattainable. But, in truth, this state is as close to us as our skin, always standing by, ready for activation.

For me, the truth is that I float back and forth through my daily life, and experience both levels of being (if we could consolidate them into 2 states, where they are actually many). So, both of these practices of transformation are useful.

Mind you, this second method is very different than the old nasty habit of bouncing off these old lack beliefs. In fact, if those surface it is very clear that I haven’t successfully embodied my calling in the first place. The plug is not fully in the wall. By choosing to be separate from this state, I then generate lack beliefs simply because I am coming from the ultimate lack belief there is…that I am not God, I am a person who has to make his way in the world.

For me, it has become crucial then to — throughout my day — tune into this space of my calling. Really give it permission to flow and amplify. And then, to do things in life which are in alignment with that flow. This might generate all sorts of “odd behaviors”, but seen from this state it seems that all those doing the same darn thing as everyone else are the ones truly odd.

Now what about “Desires”

One final, very crucial note about the law of attraction which seems pertinent at this point of this essay (and thanks for reading this far). From this heightened state of clarity and connection with my calling, what arises as a “desire” is very different than those generated from the state of lack. This distinction has been essential in my own growth.

When I talk with people about what they want in life, it tends to always be the same things:

More money, better job (or business), better relationship, more time to travel, nicer stuff, cooler house, better car…

These are the standard issue desires in our society. Usually, they are generated as a remedy to a feeling state which cannot be remedied by a “thing” outside of ourselves. They always emerge from someone who isn’t fully saturated with his/her calling in life, or source-fulness, and who is creating desires from a disconnected place.

But, once one truly gets tuned in, what “I want” changes. In fact, most of the “normal” desires listed above are created by the confab of a mind asleep in a media-soaked, validation hungry world. It’s a mess of want out there. Typically, none of these are actually aligned with my purpose or calling. And, if they aren’t aligned, they most likely ain’t gonna show up.

In my view, there is “me the body/mind” system — the one that walks around, talks, drives, creates, eats…all that stuff. But, beyond this visible spectrum, there is more “me”. This “higher me” guides me through my feeling states utilizing my emotional guidance system (credit to Bentinho for teaching me that one) to compel me along a path of true evolution. Some refer to this as “higher self”. Quite often then, a desire goes unanswered simply because it is not at all relevant for me to experience that relative to my theme or “calling”.

So, I may want to win the lottery, but it might be more relevant to my path of service and evolution to NOT win the lottery and rather generate abundance in a way that could support and inspire thousands, even millions.

For most of us, what we want is something purely of the mind when what “I” truly want (the vast, dimensional me), might be something entirely different. This perfectly explains why many always have what they need and why most don’t get what they “want”. It’s because it’s all coming from a state of disconnect with who I truly am, which is the ultimate lack belief in action and unfortunately how much of the world lives.

And, by the way, it’s never the car that I want — what I always want is alignment, and then what desires are generated from that place appear often by magic. This is the place from where coincidences arise, and powerful manifestation can take place.

I believe this is what Abraham means by saying “Get in the vortex, and then”. So, it’s about feeling good first and then asking what I truly want. For many, desire is attached to the lack thereof, which…as you might have guessed…creates more of the same lack.

Your calling or theme, then, is where the magic lies. From here, what do you deeply, truly want? What sings to you from this place? What vision fills your body field with such intoxicating nectar as to surely flow from a divine place? If you can get aligned with this, and believe that this is possible, buckle your seat belts, because you are about to step onto the great adventure that is life outside of the mainstream, matrix path.

The life that is designed just, for, you.

My hope is that these possibly rambling paragraphs have created more clarity on the vast and beautiful law of attraction for you. For me, I see many longing to step fully into their full power of becoming the conscious creator of their reality, but who aren’t clear on these more nuanced — and yet critical — areas of understanding.

I am not a guru, truly, I’m a guy perhaps very much like you. I am in the world, crafting and creating my life in all sorts of ways, often clumsily and absent of grace. My aim, though, is to do so more and more consciously, in greater alignment with the truth of who I am. My relationship with the law of attraction and, more precisely, my true understanding of “I create my own reality”, is still unfolding and deepening.

I welcome your comments and feedback below. Delighted to discuss. I do though have one, primary request:

If you’re triggered by my content, criticisms, ideas, or anything contained here, please check that. Do a little digging first and see what that might reveal to you. Often, with blog posts or content shared online, it’s easy to descend into self-righteousness and pettiness about details quite simply because it is so easy to hide here in the digital world. Now, more than ever, us seekers need to step up and clear ourselves FIRST and then…engage.

Let’s practice that, shall we?

Much love to you and I sincerely hope this has served you :)

BIO: With my wife, Theresa Sgobba, we joyfully operate our business, Ownstream , which helps people exit the mainstream “matrix” creating their fully expressed and unique path in life. I also produce immersive, experiential works of performance having founded and produced the BEAT Festival in Brooklyn from 2012–16 & am currently creating a large immersive theater piece loosely titled the “Great Awakening”. With our beautiful daughter Sofia and our awesome dog Magic, we currently live in the mountains of Costa Rica, Southern California and our beloved ’05 converted Sprinter van. Follow me on Twitter for continued updates, silly pictures and, sometimes, an inspired word or two :)