Our one and only grandson turned two years old this weekend. He was blessed with many gifts from family at his small party on Saturday (mostly toy tractors, dump trucks, cars, and the like). While the things we bought for him were special, it was the week leading up to his birthday that we will always remember.

Highlights of his birthday week included rides with Mawmaw and Pawpaw, meals at his favorite restaurants, a visit to the fabulous Tennessee Aquarium, seeing prize chickens and live music at the county fair, and a hiking trip at our local state park. By Saturday night we were exhausted but full of love and gratitude for the light this little boy has brought into our lives.

I’ve read that age two is about the youngest point at which humans form lasting memories. Whether he grows up retaining his 2023 birthday week activities or not, we do know one thing for certain: this boy knows he is surrounded by family members who love him. The fact that his parents said he would be playing and randomly start saying “Mawmaw and Pawpaw” to himself tells me all I need to know. We are on his mind and in his little heart.

The years I spent running our business enforced in me a loop-closing mentality. Success consists of projects done right, made up of steps that need to be checked off in order to accomplish what is necessary to achieve your goals. I have to consciously work at setting that mentality aside when it comes to the business of life.

You see, that part of my brain would have said, “Buy some toys: check. Attend a party: check. Sing the happy birthday song: check. Success.” If I had allowed that mindset to rule, I would have missed so many blessings this week.

One would think that a few years of wrestling with a rare disease would have taught me to slow down, to focus on the truly important things in life, to take time to enjoy the small gifts that come my way each day. This month marks nine years since I was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, and I still struggle with losing myself in the whirlwind of activity.

In Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, the author brings to light the fact that, if we live to be 80, we have just over 4,000 weeks on earth (4,160 to be precise, but that would make for an awkward book title). When quantified like that, the truth is staggering. Our grandson has lived just over 100 of those, while Mawmaw and Pawpaw have logged 70% of this total. By the time he is our age, we will most likely be long gone and all he will have, to quote one of my favorite singer/songwriters Jim Croce, will be “photographs and memories.”

If we ever have a question about how we should invest our resources in that little fella’s life, the paragraph above should answer that question.

I don’t know anyone who would say they’ve lived a life thus far of no regrets. But as I strive to live a truly rare life in the years I have left, my focus needs to be on filling those days with the things that will matter most in the end — both to me and to the people whom I’m blessed to have in my life.

Sometimes people are confused by what I mean when I talk about living a rare life. Is that just about learning to live with a rare disease? That’s certainly part of it, but the bigger picture is crafting an existence wherein you step outside of the normal and routine and create a world that enriches you and those around you.

What does a rare life look like for you? For me, it’s pouring myself into my grandson’s life to help him become the person God would have him to be. It’s investing in my wife and always being mindful that she’s not a supporting cast member in the story of my life but the leading lady in every scene. It’s being a friend and leader to my children, setting a good example of how a husband and father conducts himself. It’s about taking time for extended family and friends. It’s about filling our lives with the arts, being creative, enjoying the outdoors and all that God set into motion when He began His work and declared that “it was good.”

I fail at many of these on pretty much a daily basis. But weeks like the one we just had stand out as reminders that being intentional will reap huge returns. Our grandson may not remember a lot of details from the week as he grows older, but I believe the time we spent with him will add to the foundation we’re building in his life. He may not recall with much clarity the big fish or the prize roosters or the boardwalk through the woods, but he’ll know that Mawmaw and Pawpaw love him and that spending time with him is one of our greatest joys.

What’s on your list of things that build a rare life? What can you do this week to step outside the norm and do something rare? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Have you ever thought about the many roles you play in life? There are the obvious ones, such as child, parent, and spouse. Then there are more nuanced ones, such as citizen, leader, and servant.

While I enjoy the theatre, I’m admittedly not a great fan of Shakespeare (I know, I know…). But ole William offers a solid reflection on our roles in his play As You Like It:

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

These roles are not only defined by who we are within ourselves, but also by who we are in relation to the people who intersect with our lives.

As we pursue what a rare life means to us, I believe there are three critical roles to develop. We need:

1. Someone to learn from
2. Someone to walk beside us
3. Some to teach

Someone to learn from

In many ways, we are the product of the people who have gone before us. Take a few minutes to think about it and you can probably list a dozen people who deeply influenced your life through their words and actions. We are who we are today because of what we learned from others along the way.

The scientist Sir Isaac Newton put it well when he said:

“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

While he spoke about the collective knowledge of his predecessors in the scientific community, this concept extends to our one-on-one relationships — and in fact, that’s where it is most powerful.

We find a strong example in scripture in the life of Paul. His work as a missionary spread the Gospel far and wide. Yet he took the time to invest in the life of Timothy. What better mentor and teacher for a young man who had dedicated his life to the ministry?

Someone to walk beside us

The path we take through life seems to vary in breadth at different stages. At times it appears wide, with plenty of room for others to walk by our side. Then comes stretches where the path is so narrow there’s barely space for our own footsteps, let alone those of a companion.

It’s important that we develop relationships with those who will walk along with us no matter the condition of the trail. Narrow or wide. Smooth or rocky. Flat or inclined.

Journalist and broadcaster Walter Winchell said:

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Returning to our biblical example, Barnabas played this critical role well. Paul had much to accomplish, and his life as a missionary was difficult, to say the least. Barnabas was there as a fellow servant who understood Paul’s trials and could offer encouragement, support, and companionship no matter what came his way.

Someone to teach

If we amass great knowledge, what good is it when we’re gone? We take those books, podcasts, articles, webinars, facts, figures, and studies to the grave with us. And what if, beyond learning, we also develop a deep understanding of one or more concepts? This is even more valuable — but wasted all the same if at the end of our journey they die with us.

Our legacy, arguably the most powerful thing we will leave behind, is a single life into which we’ve poured our knowledge and understanding in a way that equips that person to live a life of impact — and to pass along their knowledge and understanding in the process. That’s our true body of work.

Author, lecturer, and disability advocate Helen Keller (a fellow Alabamian who died the year I was born) said in a speech:

“What do I consider a teacher should be? One who breathes life into knowledge so that it takes new form in progress and civilization.”

Breathing life. That’s a powerful image of what it means to be a mentor, a teacher, a leader who invests in those who come along behind them.

I mentioned Timothy earlier, and he rounds out our examples from the Bible as the young man Paul mentored and helped grow in the faith. It took the Timothys of the world to carry on Paul’s ministry, after all. Paul understood this vital role and made the investment in Timothy’s life.

There’s an added benefit to the role of a teacher. I love this succinct quote from Roman philosopher Seneca:

“While we teach, we learn.”

I’ve read many times that if you really want to learn something, teach it. I’ve seen this truth in my life when I’ve led a book discussion or made a presentation. The preparation always leaves me with a deeper understanding of the subject than when I first studied it.

It works both ways

Look back over this list and hopefully you can think of people who play these roles in your life today or did so in the past.

Now turn that around. Not only do we need these people, but we in turn need to play these roles in the lives of others. Who are you leading? Who are you walking beside? Who are you learning from, allowing them to be the mentor and teacher?

After all, it’s the relationships we have with others that truly determine the fullness of our lives as we seek to discover and pursue what a rare life means to us.

It was February 2015. I could not swallow, and could only speak a few words before a severe lisp and slur took over. The neurologist said the IVIg treatment and observation would take a few days to complete.

It would be almost seven weeks before I walked out.

Most of that time I was in ICU. More significantly, I spent 12 days on a ventilator as a myasthenic crisis kicked into overdrive. Five years later I still deal with the fallout.

That is why I’m concerned about the thousands of COVID-19 survivors who, while thankful to be alive, will face ongoing issues related to the delirium they experienced in the hospital. I’m encouraged by the increased reporting on the experiences of survivors, and hopeful it sheds light on this complication that can understandably be overlooked in the fight to save a patient’s life.

ICU delirium is most easily described as confusion, a state in which the patient is unable to discern what is real in the world surrounding them. I often describe it as being unmoored from reality with no way of distinguishing between what the eyes see and what the mind conjures. The stories may seem far-fetched and obviously unrealistic to those who hear them later, but those experiences are very real to the patient in the moment.

To this day I can recall some of those experiences as clearly as I can events that have actually taken place. Perspective is the only way I know the difference. Following are a few of the scenarios I “lived through” while hospitalized:

• The ICU wing was turned into an event space one night, with members of the public walking through to watch movies and socialize.
• I and other patients were part of an elaborate museum exhibit. My room featured a life-sized WWII pilot figure, along with a couple of country music legends.
• A family that owned a Mexican restaurant kidnapped me and was holding me in a room (in my hospital bed, of course) above the kitchen. They took good care of me.
• At night the entire wing was disassembled like a movie set, with the nurses' station carted off to storage. I was fearful they were forgetting about me and leaving me there alone.
• A local attorney’s wife (who is indeed a nurse in real life) didn’t like the care I was being given so she orchestrated an escape and brought me back home. She and others took care of me in an upside-down house.

The upside-down house story is the most vivid one. It has lots of details, many of them linked to actual people and events from my life. This episode and others underscore the power of the mind and what it’s capable of under extreme stress. In his excellent book The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human, author Jonathan Gottschall says, “We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories.”

Indeed.

These are not dreams. Discounting these experiences as such is like saying riding a roller coaster is the same as being thrown from one at its peak in a free fall that doesn’t end.

I’ve learned from reading some of the solid research on delirium that there are ways to recognize it and treat for it both during hospitalization and after. However, the circumstances surrounding COVID-19 make this extremely difficult.

1. Contact with family is an important part of keeping a patient grounded in reality, but families are isolated from their loved ones during the hospital stay.
2. Health care providers are fighting a pandemic. I’m sure it’s hard to look for signs of delirium when you are trying to keep so many people alive in the face of overwhelming odds.
3. Families are reunited with loved ones they haven’t seen in many days, often weeks, and therefore have little understanding of what the patient experienced in the hospital.
4. With so much focus on surviving the physical, patients themselves don’t fully understand the mental repercussions of what they endured. (I know I didn’t.)

This is a perfect storm of circumstances that could very well have an enormous impact on our society for years to come. I believe we’ll see this manifested in strained relationships, increased drug and alcohol abuse, a drop in productivity, and a general struggle for many to return to the life they knew pre-COVID.

I’m no public health expert, but I think we have reason to be alarmed. The wave of post-traumatic stress disorder (and that’s really what it is) coming in the pandemic’s wake has the potential to leave lasting scars on individuals, families and communities. And that ripples to a national impact we could be dealing with for a generation.

I’m thankful for the reporting surrounding this issue, and hope it continues. I know it’s difficult to have yet another national dialogue when there is so much for us to be concerned with already, but this one merits the attention of a national crisis in the making.

Watch this excellent documentary from The Atlantic to more fully understand what COVID-19 patients are experiencing.

Vanderbilt University Medical Center is doing some great work in this area.

Want to share your COVID-19 delirium experience? Message me at stephenvsmith@hey.com.

When those dark days come — regardless of whether I understand why — it is easy to let them bring discouragement, to wrap me up in negativity. Anyone can say “but you have so much to be thankful for” and “just think how much better you are now than you were.” Indeed, I say these things to myself.

They are true, yet on days like today they carry little weight.

Your brain knows, your reasoning self knows, but your mind plays with deeper thoughts. Those days when you can’t function at your desired level (or can’t function much at all), you see images of the worst days. They shape and morph and you wonder if you are also seeing images of the future. “That happened before; it can happen again.” Can it? Will it?

I’ve read so many stories of people living with myasthenia gravis who talk about the multiple times they have been hospitalized. While there were three or four separate admissions during my worst days, depending on how you count them, I tend to look at that period as a single episode. Thymectomy. Crisis. Pneumonia. It almost killed me, and certainly threw my life off track, but three full years have past since the worst of it. I can walk. I can eat. I can drive. I can function at a level that certainly appears normal to most observers.

But there are days like today, when the fatigue and weakness rob me of any productivity. And as I lie there, rendered worthless, the images take over. “You just think you are better. You are not. You could get worse. A lot worse. And just look how worthless you are today. You need to contribute something, produce something, every day, but today you are a waste.”

I am thankful. I know I am blessed. And so do you. You know that living with a rare disease is better than dying with a well-known one. You try to acknowledge that and to be thankful for every day, the good ones and the bad ones. But you also understand what I’m talking about here — the fear that more steep hills could be ahead for you and the concern about how your health impacts the lives of those you love.

That’s one reason I tend to grab life and squeeze as much out of it as I can. The good days need to be lived to their fullest, because I never know when the bad days are coming. There is something to be said for balance, I suppose, but I was never good at that before my diagnosis. With the spectre of darker days always peeking from the shadows, I’m determined to get the most I can from the high points.

I will love stronger. I will celebrate louder. I will work harder. I will be bolder. I will lead. I will love. I will live life rare.

Maybe not today, but the unmarked page of a new tomorrow is just around the corner.

Squeezing More Life From The Good Days was originally published in LiveLifeRare on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This announcement underscores the fact that, in many areas, rural America is way ahead of its big-city neighbors when it comes to deploying advanced communications services over a fiber-based broadband network.

Huntsville is a high-tech center of the South. Its impressive technological landscape includes such highlights as HudsonAlpha Institute for Biotechnology, Cummings Research Park, Redstone Arsenal and the U.S. Space & Rocket Center.

And now, Google. According to news reports, Google Fiber will start connecting customers there by the middle of 2017. This is critical infrastructure for a city with such an advanced business base.

Rural and connected

The amazing part of this story is that Huntsville lies about an hour west of our little town of Rainsville, Alabama. We live and work atop the broad plateau known as Sand Mountain—and we have a fiber connection to our office and home. This has been the case for a few years, in fact. And not only are we on a fiber-to-the-home network, but we also enjoy a gigabit connection at both locations.

This is possible through the solid planning and hard work of our provider, FTC. A locally owned telecommunications cooperative, FTC’s leadership has built upon the company’s original mission envisioned by its founders more than six decades ago — to bring service to a region that would otherwise be unserved. Today, that includes gigabit broadband.

And that is the story playing out in small towns and rural communities across America. While many big cities struggle to secure high-speed Internet service, rural residents are enjoying the benefits of broadband — often over a fiber connection with speeds up to a gigabit.

Our company works with many of the rural telcos providing these advanced services, and I am constantly amazed at what they accomplish in their service areas—which often include low-density populations along with above-average unemployment and poverty rates. While government leaders at city, state and national levels search for viable solutions for deploying fiber, many rural providers have already found ways to bring broadband over fiber networks to the people they serve.

A story that deserves more attention

Congratulations to Huntsville on its Google Fiber announcement. I’m excited for the Rocket City’s residents and businesses. The presence of a city-wide fiber network will bring about new opportunities in economic development, education, telemedicine and more. I hope this news also raises awareness of the work independent and cooperative telcos have long been doing to create similar opportunities for the rural areas they serve. It’s a story that deserves more attention.

Rural fiber success stories

Following are some brief videos that highlight success stories of rural telecommunications providers delivering broadband over fiber—often at gigabit speeds.

There are many accomplishments you can highlight as part of your communications program. Perhaps you’ve set a new standard in your industry. Maybe you’re rolling out a new service in a few weeks.

Years of service is a particularly strong milestone to celebrate — especially if your business has been serving your area for a round number of years, such as 10 or 25 or 50. You can build a multi-faceted communications program around this celebration.

Let’s look at our company as an example. On New Year’s Day, WordSouth turned 20 years old. Here are some principles that are guiding our plans, along with some ideas on how you can put these concepts to work in your organization.

Tell your real story.

Why are you celebrating? Longevity is not enough. Years of service is just a fact, a number, a statistic. When you tell the story about your milestone of service, talk about what you have accomplished during those years — how you’ve improved the lives of your customers and the community you serve.

At WordSouth, we have a very intentional attitude that guides everything we do: We want to be more than a vendor to the utilities we serve; we want to be their true partner. We focus on building relationships to last for years, even decades. Our clients have a mission, and that mission becomes ours by extension as we come alongside them to help tell their stories. As we celebrate 20 years, that’s the story we want to tell. The whole “founded in a spare bedroom, on one small contract and a prayer” angle is certainly interesting and compelling, but our real story is what we’ve been able to help our clients accomplish since.

Focus on your customers.

You have built a solid business. You provide goods or services that people depend on to live better lives. When you talk about these accomplishments in the context of “look what we’ve done,” the eyes of your audience glaze over quickly. Center your communications program around the impact these accomplishments have had on your customers, and readers will engage with your content. People like reading about people

We are embarking on a special project in a couple of weeks. We plan to reach out to key contacts at the utilities we serve and interview them for individual feature stories. As WordSouth celebrates 20 years, we will turn the spotlight on our clients to celebrate their careers, their accomplishments and their thoughts on the industries they serve. These features stories will appear in a special section on our website, and we will also share them across our social media channels.

Have fun.

Everyone is looking for a party, right? I know, you have a few customers who wouldn’t be happy if you gave them something free for life. But aside from them, people generally enjoy having fun. Look for ways to take your milestone celebration beyond the expected. Your customers are more likely to engage with your message if you have some fun with it.

Instead of slapping a “20th Anniversary” ribbon on our website and calling it a day, we decided to frame the milestone as a birthday. There are so many ways we can apply the idea of a birthday celebration to our 20-year mark. For instance, recently we mailed a MoonPie and a party blower/noisemaker to clients in several states. We included a simple card in the package that thanked them for being part of our story. It was a simple, clever way to share “a slice of birthday cake” with them, and we received several emails thanking us for the snack and fun mailer.

Go the distance.

It’s easy to run a “celebrating 25 years” ad in the local newspaper, or place a message on the bottom of your invoices or receipts. But with a little effort and planning, you can make the celebration last all year long. You don’t have to hold a major event every month to keep the momentum going. In fact, you can incorporate the celebration into activities that are already on your calendar, such as customer appreciation events. Make sure all your advertising mentions the milestone. Hold contests in your store and/or across your social media channels.

At WordSouth, we are planning several activities (some small, some large) to make the party last all year long. One of the biggest involves StoryConnect, our annual conference for utility communicators. This year’s event, scheduled for September in Chattanooga, will be framed as one big birthday party (and yes, there will be cake).

Get the most out of your celebration opportunities by applying these principles to your communications plan. Your customers will enjoy it, and the positive energy you’ll generate will be too valuable to measure. Now go plan your party!

On New Year’s Day, the content marketing company I started with my wife in a spare bedroom turned 20 years old. I had spent the previous few years working for a small newspaper, writing everything but the obituaries and Dear Abby, and enjoying the process of learning how every facet of society works. A sideline gig writing a few freelance articles for a rural electric cooperative expanded into a risky opportunity: I could quit the newspaper and try to parlay my freelancing into a full-time career.

My wife and I had two small kids (a six-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son), no savings to speak of and no experience running a business. We sought counsel from friends and mentors. We prayed. We weighed the options with all the logic we could muster. And then, with one contract and a prayer, we took the leap and launched WordSouth. While we’ve certainly had our ups and down, like any small business, we’ve never regretted that decision.

I was listening this weekend to @jonnastor on his most excellent podcast, “Hack The Entrepreneur,” where he interviews some of today’s leading entrepreneurs and digs deep to find their best business hacks. He always begins his interviews with this question:

“As an entrepreneur, what is the one thing that you do that has been the biggest contributor to your successes so far?”

With the impact of our company’s 20th birthday fresh in my mind, I began to wonder what I would say in that moment. If I was a guest on Jonny’s show, how would I respond to this question?

The answer came quickly. “Never stop asking ‘why not?’”

Imagine the decision we faced in 1995. Leaving a secure job was a big risk, at least on the surface. Why would we do such a thing? “Why” was the wrong question. How about “why not?” Why not leap into the unknown, where you’re forced to work hard and learn new things and stretch yourself beyond what you’ve ever done before — and then know that there’s still no guarantee you can take care of your family? Why not let go of the trapeze for the first time, knowing there is no net below you, leaning on the skills you know you have and the guts you think you have to get you to the next bar?

Why not?

That willingness to take on new challenges, to dream outlandish dreams then go for them, has served us well. Why not try creating a collaborative publication involving rural telecommunications companies across several states, even though the industry had never seen anything like it? Why not turn our company culture on its head and include more remote workers than local office workers, in order to better serve clients in surrounding states?

And now, as we run hard and fast into a new year, why not take on some extreme initiatives that we have never been ready for (and may not be ready for yet)?

There are plenty of good answers, of course, to “why not.” Because it might not work. Because it could cost us money. Because it could make us look stupid. Because it could fail to earn new clients. Because it could cost us existing clients. Because it could cause good employees to leave or become disengaged. No matter what the project may be, there are always potentially negative outcomes that an entrepreneur must consider before blindly jumping out of the plane, ripcord in hand.

We’ve been asking “why not” for 20 years, and have no plans of doing otherwise as we enter a new decade. We plan to celebrate our big birthday by tackling some big projects that have big potential to strain our operation. But the opportunity for positive things for WordSouth is just too great to let the negative “what ifs” overtake our thinking.

So, Jonny, that’s how I’d answer your first question.

A full week has finally passed since I laid down in a big-city hospital and allowed a room full of strangers (in full confidence of the Lord’s guiding hand plus their board certifications) to use a scalpel and a saw to cut my chest open.

[BACKGROUND: I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with myasthenia gravis, then learned I had a thymoma — a tumor on the thymus. This really meant the thymus had to come out.]

In the week since surgery, I have learned the following 21 things. Maybe more. I’ll keep this as close to chronological order as practical.

AT THE HOSPITAL
The thymus is pretty underrated. In fact, most people just don’t know the first thing about it. After surgery, a visitor even asked me, “Thymus? Do I have one?” Of course, being in my profession, I consider this a sign of the lack of thymus advocates. The poor gland just needs an awareness campaign.

Tubes. When you go into the hospital for a sternotomy (in which the sternum, or chest bone, is sawn asunder), in order to have a thymectomy (in which the thymus is removed) or for heart surgery (needs a cool single-word name), surgeons should say this: “Hello. We are going to put you to sleep to insert some drainage tubes into your chest. And while we’re at it we’ll probably cut your chest open and stuff.” Because those drainage tubes hurt — their presence, and their removal.

Items to take home with you. When you’re leaving the hospital and the nursing professional asks “do you want to keep your waffle?” or “do you want to keep your donut?” he/she is not talking about food. And “YES” should always be your answer. Trust me on this one.

Reach for nothing. Among 87 other miscellaneous yet important things to learn upon leaving a place where you’ve just had your chest cut open, you will be told not to do things that require lifting you arms (independently or in unison) over your head. At first you think “no problem,” and then after about a day you realize that there are apparently only a few things in life you can actually do for yourself without reaching at least one arm over your head. And you will need to do roughly 78% of those things during the week after having your chest cut open.

The weight of things. Even higher on the list of things you will learn is that you must avoid lifting anything over 5 pounds for a while. It is then you will realize that practically everything in life weighs more than 5 pounds.

AT HOME
Breathing is good. We had some pain management issues earlier in the week, and I spent a couple of days not being able to breathe very well. We stayed in touch with the surgeon and his nurse, made some adjustments and all is well. But I have gained a new respect for the ability to bring oxygen into one’s body at regular intervals. All day long.

Fever. Having some fever for a few days after you have surgery doesn’t always mean you’re dying.

Your ribs go all the way around you, apparently. If someone cuts your chest open in the front and pries apart your ribs for an extended period of time, you could become sore a few days later in your back. Because it’s apparently all connected.

Tumors are scary. Even if you know it’s benign, you don’t know until you know. And knowing is awesome. (Thank you pathologist for issuing a report before Christmas.)

My wife really does love me. Thank you, Michele. I know I’ve been a real pain in the thymus these past few days.

Poinsettias come in more than red.

Your muse may not be into drugs. Supposedly, narcotics gave us works such as “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” and “The Raven.” This new notebook I bought before surgery is still empty.

Our house is hard to find. Just ask the flower delivery drivers, UPS drivers, even some of my family members.

We have wonderful friends and family. So many people have checked in through phone calls, text messages, Facebook, etc. We know you have been praying, and we know it has made a difference. Thank you.

When you have to, you can. We had the luxury of planning this surgery. But it still came at a busy time for us, considering our work load. Do you know what we did? We made it happen. Knowing when I left last Thursday that it would be a few weeks before I would be managing projects and employees at anything resembling a regular schedule made me put some plans into motion. And if we can do that, you can, too.

Life goes on for everyone else. Have you ever had something major happen in your life — like, something pivotal, life changing — and then you get on Facebook and people are like still going shopping, getting married, having babies, taking vacations, and even having their own major health and personal events? How crazy is that?

However bad it is here, it’s worse somewhere else. Now I realize completely that “it could be so much worse” doesn’t make THIS any better by comparison. When you tell someone this, you are literally saying “well bless your heart, just think about how much worse it would be if something else bad was happening to you at this very moments as well.” Is that just a habit of the Southern cultural, I wonder? It’s like we’d eat a rock and say “well we could be eating dirt, too,” in hopes that will make the rock taste more like chicken. But all that aside, it really is worse somewhere else. Always. And that makes me grateful, somehow. “I have this, but at least I don’t have that, too. And I sure wouldn’t swap.”

Harry & David is a very good company to have such an unfinished name. I mean, ultimately product selection and service drives a business, but I can’t imagine WordSouth being as recognized in our industries, for example, if we were to change the name to “Stephen & Michele.”

Food is therapy. If you’ve never had a Harry & David Three Seed cracker topped with Harry & David Gouda cheese and a little bit of Harry & David pepper and onion relish, you should order some for yourself. You’ll feel a twinge of culture.

Fleece. Just saying. I know, most people reading this have never seen me wearing anything but khakis. But fleece. Who knew? Who knew?

About Pears. Our Harry & David gift crate came with several pears. Unfortunately, the Internet is overrun with an abundance of weird pear recipes. If you have recipes for awesome things to do with pears, that people on Sand Mountain would bite into and say “MAN, that’s good,” even when talking to a woman, then please send them to me. Better yet, just come get some pears, make the dish and bring it back over here.

Oh, never mind… you couldn’t find our house.

We all want to do a good job and serve our customers well. But sometimes we don’t, and what happens in the moments after we fail is what truly distinguishes us from our competitors.

Amazon.com provided a good example this Christmas. A last-minute gift idea led me to the online retailer to see if I could get it shipped here in time for Christmas morning. The item was in stock, and as an Amazon Prime member I could get free two-day shipping. This Christmas Eve, Santa would be wearing brown instead of red.

But brown didn’t show up. Returning from a family gathering, I was disappointed to find no sign of a package on the front porch. I went online to track the shipment and discovered, sadly, that it was still in transit and therefore would not arrive in time for Christmas.

Then, checking my email, I found this from Amazon.com:

Hello,

We learned today that there has been a failure in the UPS transportation network and they are unable to deliver your package by December 24. This has impacted one or more items in order #xxxx-xxxxx-xxxxxx.

We’re very sorry for the delay and inconvenience. We understand this is a disappointment. We wanted to let you know about this as soon as possible in case you need to make other plans.

We’ve refunded any shipping charges associated with your shipment. We’d also like to provide you with a $20 gift card to compensate for this inconvenience. This amount will be applied to your next eligible order automatically without entering a claim code. Amazon.com Gift Cards can be used to buy almost any item sold on Amazon.com.

You can track your shipment by going to “Your Orders” (www.amazon.com/your-orders). If you would like to return your order, please visit www.amazon.com/returns.

We value your business and hope to see you again soon.

Sincerely,

Customer Service
Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com

Let’s take a look at what happened here:

1) They contacted me immediately.

Amazon.com didn’t wait for me to contact them in search of my package. They notified me in a timely manner.

Takeaway: Beat your customer to the punch. “There is a problem” sounds so much better coming from a proactive provider than an angry customer. Be the first to say it. Every time.

2) They had a system in place for when something went wrong.

At the end of the email was this line:

Please note: this e-mail was sent from a notification-only address that cannot accept incoming e-mail. Please do not reply to this message.

This tells me that an automated system was in place to handle just this kind of customer service breakdown. No one at Amazon.com was bewildered when this shipping error occurred. There was no huddle of team members frantically trying to figure out a response (“This package is not going to make it for Christmas!” “Oh, no! Has anyone here experienced this before?” “What should we do?”) Amazon had long ago anticipated a problem such as this, put a system in place for how to address it and trained their people how to use that system.

Takeaway: Build a system that leaves your company prepared to respond to problems — when, not if, they occur.

3) They explained what happened.

The email not only told me that my package wasn’t coming, but it explained what happened — a failure in the UPS transportation network.

Takeaway: People want to know WHY. Tell them. It makes them feel better.

4) They took responsibility for the breakdown in their system.

Sometimes our flawless delivery of service depends on a third-party contractor doing their job well. Even though Amazon.com identified UPS as the source of the problem, they still took responsibility for making amends. They understood that, even though UPS was delivering the package to my home, Amazon.com was still my service provider in this transaction.

Takeaway: It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. Take responsibility for failed service and your customer will respect you for it.

5) They apologized.

And I appreciated that.

Takeaway: Saying “I’m sorry” goes a very long way toward diffusing a customer service problem.

6) They acknowledged my pain.

In just a few words, Amazon said what I was already feeling: this shipping delay had inconvenienced me and caused me disappointment.

Takeaway: When you screw up, it’s human nature to hope for minimal impact. Don’t minimize what you’re putting your customer through. Acknowledge it.

7) They took steps to make it right.

Not only did Amazon.com say “we’re sorry,” but they added “and here’s what we’re going to do about it.” Our company had a bad experience recently with a vendor we were trying for the first time. After botching our job on several fronts, they were genuine in their apologies. But their reaction of “tell us what we can do to make this right” put the work on me to devise a plan that would make us and, ultimately, our client happy. So not only was I saddled with a bad experience, I now had the task of figuring out how to fix it. Amazon.com sent their remedy along with their apology. (By the way, notice that their remedy was something that benefited me while doing more business with them. Smart.)

Takeaway: Don’t delay the resolution by prolonging the remedy. Make it right, now.

8) They reinforced my value to them as a customer.

It’s unlikely that a loyal customer would sever a relationship because of one bad shipping experience. Amazon.com did not, however, assume that a gift card would “fix” this situation. The last line of their email succinctly yet clearly expressed that.

Takeaway: We all want to be appreciated. Make sure your customers know you appreciate them. How? Tell them.

No matter what type of business you’re in, you are going to fail your customers at some point. You are going to have a breakdown in your system, or an employee who fails to follow that system. A third-party contractor will drop the ball. A piece of equipment will malfunction. Circumstances will converge in the perfect storm and leave you looking inept and ridiculous.

These things do not have to define you. But your response will. The steps you take in the aftermath of a customer service problem will forever cement in the mind of the person impacted exactly the kind of business you are.

Perhaps the best thing Amazon.com delivered this Christmas season was a stellar example of how the right response can turn a bad experience into a model of customer service. For those of us preparing our businesses for excellence in the New Year, this success story arrived right on time.

And five things I learned in the process

Two years ago, we were a “normal” company, with everyone working from a central location. Today, 50 percent of our team works remotely. What happened? Simply, we examined our operation and asked a tough question: “if all options were on the table, what changes could we make that would increase the creative output of our employees?”

I was not prepared for the dynamics this transition would introduce to our operation. Building a remote workforce has changed our culture, mostly for the better. It has boosted our efficiency, and it has created friction. It has positioned us for success, and it has tossed us some challenges.

Here are a few things I have learned thus far:

1) Remote work can work.

For a small business owner whose work ethic has always demanded “nose-to-the-grindstone” focus, I have been delighted to see our remote worker experiment unfold with relative success. It has been better for our clients to have someone in closer proximity to their operations, and the flexibility of working remotely has in general made our remote workers happier and more productive.

2) Top talent will notice.

When we added the phrase “remote working environment” to our most recent job listing, the quality of resumes coming in increased significantly. Removing the requirement of a daily physical presence, we were able to dip into a pool of top talent across the Southeast. Of the leading candidates, none of them would have applied if the job had required them to be on location, every day, at our office.

3) Integration must be intentional.

We didn’t realize it at the beginning, but we created two sets of employees when we added remote workers. Your remotes are not contractors. They are not vendors. They are employees, and you must work to integrate them into the team. At the same time, you must be certain your office-based employees understand the big picture and don’t feel as if others are receiving special treatment.

As hard as you try to build team cohesion, the differences between those who come into the office and those who don’t will be obvious — and your office-based employees will likely start thinking about how their jobs can be handled remotely, too. This is not a bad thing, but it raises questions that will have to be addressed in a way that the business can still function efficiently. After all, there will always be location-specific tasks to running a business, and someone has to handle those. There has to be “a place.” Mail has to arrive somewhere, UPS and FedEx need an address for deliveries, certain files and supplies must be centralized, etc.

4) The toolshed must be properly equipped.

The right tools are absolutely essential to building and managing a remote workforce. Online discussion, project management and collaboration tools are the engines behind an efficient and productive remote operation.

5) The system is the key.

Having the right tools is only part of the solution. The challenge is to build a system around those tools wherein every employee (no matter where he or she works) is using the tools in the same way to get the job done. Templates, lists and workflow outlines do not stifle creativity — they create an environment that allows creative workers to do their best work, free of the constraints of procedural ambiguity.

Building and managing a remote workforce (in whole, or as part of a hybrid staff) is something that small business owners must learn how to do. I believe that “a tipping point for remote work is coming,” as Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson write in their new book Remote.

If you own a small business and have not grappled with this issue yet, prepare yourself because it’s coming — especially if yours is a professional services company and does not rely on foot traffic. Creating a remote workforce presents challenges that must be addressed head on; fortunately, we are living in an age where it can also help you attract top talent, keep that talent happy and engaged, and provide the best service possible to your clients.

Does your small business employ remote workers? Comment to share what you’ve learned.