Teenagers want attention

It sounds angsty or immature but it’s the first thing that matters to them; to know that they matter. To know that someone listens. To know that someone finds them funny, or interesting, or cool. Or just simply worth their time. It’s a much simpler, baser need than even the need for “identity” or “belonging.” Just notice them, and they’re good. This is where you’re a friend. This is where you love.

Teenagers want stability

This isn’t the most obvious, surely not the most vocalized, but one of the most influential things you can give a teen. Most of them don’t have stability in their homes. This is where you’re a leader. Where you stop being a pushover friend, and act as a consistent role model in their life. No means no, yes means yes. You have integrity of character. Your programming and service planning is solid, not haphazard. They know what to expect. This might be the only place they do. It means this place is safe. They can depend on you.

Teenagers want activity

Simply put, teenagers don’t want to be bored. They have all this potential energy built up inside. They want to do something. And not just go outside and play dodgeball, though I can guarantee that’s good also. There’s a natural restlessness inside them longing to make a difference, to make wrong things right. Without an outlet, that restlessness turns into rebellion. Teenagers with time on their hands are in tall supply. Adults who trust teenagers are in short supply. Teens respond to your expectations and will rise or lower themselves to meet them. Most people barely expect teens to make their bed. Put a camera, or a microphone, or a football, or a laptop in their hands, and stand back and watch what they’re capable of.

Teenagers have wowed me with a capacity for visionary wisdom and inexhaustible energy. They are entering the age of responsibility without having left behind the childlike belief in the impossible.

What they need is the right attention and a stable environment to make incredible things happen.