I have big dreams for the girls. I hope that the leadership development program that we have started will help them achieve their dreams. These girls want to be computer engineers, bankers, policewomen, etc. They want to be able to work full and time and have a family and not be ridiculed for this idea. They want to be able to start difficult conversations with their parents about what kind of husbands they want. I want to help the girls build and realize the confidence within them so that they can achieve anything they want.

Our session was similar to the first get together where we started with ice breakers and went on to play games. I started to be able to see the impact of the program during the games. When we play games, we call out chants or slogans to keep up the energy levels. One of the chants is “Phool Nahi Chingari Hai, Hum Bharat Ki Nari Hai!” This translates to “not flowers, but sparks of fire, we are the women of India.” We asked the girls to explain the meaning of the slogan. They said that women, although sometimes treated like delicate flowers, have strength and passion as strong as fire inside themselves. If kept under control, a fire is powerful, but when poked and mistreated, fire can be extremely destructive. I observed the looks on the girls faces during this discussion, and it was interesting to see them think about themselves as fire instead of flowers.

We had a yoga teacher visit us this time. She conducted interesting yoga and meditation with us. First she asked us, “When everything around you has been destructed and you have no support whatsoever, what is something that you can do and are already doing?” The answer was supposed to come to us during our exercises. We did various activities with this yoga teacher where she emphasized controlling your breath and controlling your movements. We ended with some more unusual but calming meditation. Again, she asked us, “What is something you can do and are already doing, while everyone around says you can’t do anything, or that you’re worth nothing.”

The girls started to guess — yoga? exercise? thinking?? She kept giving us hints: your mind is failing you as well, your only thoughts are that you are a failure. You aren’t able to do any yoga or exercise because your limbs are failing you and you have no strength. Finally the answer was revealed — breathing. You are already breathing and when you feel hopeless and helpless you can take a breath and focus on what you have. You are still alive. The strength is inside you. Awaken yourself and your inner strength by focusing on your breath.

Again, I could see hope and understanding in the girls eyes with this revelation. I could see the wheels turning in their brain — they were remembering times they have felt this way, as helpless and as failures. They realized that instead of focusing on everything that is wrong and what they aren’t able to do, they should focus on what they have. They will always have their breath.

Then, Shelly started to speak. She added on to the existing discussion saying she has felt helpless before. She said we should focus on our inner self rather than give heed to external pressures. Then she went on to say that she didn’t have any friends in the Police Lines before this program was started. She has a small number of friends at her college but they aren’t interested in getting together or coming to the Lines like we are right now. She admitted that after the start of this program she has made good friends in the Police Lines and how she’s very thankful for that. I could see the gratitude in her eyes, and while her eyes were already filled with tears, I saw her friends’ eyes tear up as well. Another girl admitted that she also didn’t have very many friends until a few weeks ago…

This is exactly what I wanted. A group of girls who understand each other and can talk to each other about anything. I took a chance on this program, thinking that it’ll take months for the girls to understand what we are trying to do. It was overwhelming to see and realize that the some of the girls are getting the point so soon.

Of course this level of understanding didn’t come to everyone at once. The girls will come to the realizations on their own time. The important part is that the ripple effect has started. I am going to try and groom the older girls who have come to understand the mission to carry forward the initiative even after I have left. I am seeing the change before my eyes just like I wanted to. Maybe I’m not changing the whole world all by myself but that’s not how change works. You have to start with changing yourself, then those around you, then the community, and go forward from there.

I am seeing now that what I have started will be able to start some sort of change in this community.

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Originally published at jeansandatop.com on July 23, 2016.