“The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.” — Lin Yutang

“Discipline equals freedom.” — Jocko Willink

This post will teach you how to say “no” when it matters most.

It will also explain how I think about investing, overcoming “fear of missing out” (FOMO), and otherwise reducing anxiety.

Last, it’s also about how to kill the golden goose when the goose is no longer serving you.

I’ll dig into one specifically hard decision — deciding to say “no” to startup investing, which is easily the most lucrative activity in my life. Even if you don’t view yourself as an “investor” — which you are, whether you realize it or not — the process I used to get to “no” should be useful.

Caveat for any investing pros reading this:

• I realize there are exceptions to every “rule” I use. Most of this post is as subjective as the fears I felt.
• My rules might be simplistic, but they’ve provided a good ROI and the ability to sleep. Every time I’ve tried to get “sophisticated,” the universe has kicked me in the nuts.
• Many startup investors use diametrically opposed approaches and do very well.
• There are later-stage investments I’ve made (2x to 4x return deals) that run counter to some of what’s below (e.g., aiming for more than 10x), but those typically involve a discount to book value, due to distressed sellers or some atypical event.
• Many concepts are simplified to avoid confusing a lay audience.

The Road to No

So, Why Did I Decide to Tap Out and Shift Gears?

Below are the key questions I asked to arrive at this cord-cutting conclusion. I revisit these questions often, usually every month. I hope they help you remove noise and internal conflict from your life.

Are You Doing What You’re Uniquely Capable of, What You Feel Placed Here on Earth to Do? Can You Be Replaced?

I remember a breakfast with Kamal Ravikant (the brother of Naval). Standing in a friend’s kitchen downing eggs, lox, and coffee, we spoke about our dreams, fears, obligations, and lives. Investing had become a big part of my net worth and my identity. Listing out the options I saw for my next big move, I asked him if I should raise a fund and become a full-time venture capitalist (VC), as I was already doing the work but trying to balance it with 5 to 10 other projects. He could sense my anxiety. It wasn’t a dream of mine; I simply felt I’d be stupid not to strike while the iron was hot.

He thought very carefully in silence and then said: “I’ve been at events where people come up to you crying because they’ve lost 100-plus pounds on the Slow-Carb Diet. You will never have that impact as a VC. If you don’t invest in a company, they’ll just find another VC. You’re totally replaceable.”

He paused again and ended with, “Please don’t stop writing.”

I’ve thought about that conversation every day since.

For some people, being a VC is their calling and they are the Michael Jordan–like MVPs of that world. They should cultivate that gift. But if I stop investing, no one will miss it. In 2015, that much was clear. There have never been more startup investors, and — right along with them — founders basing “fit” on highest valuation and previously unheard-of terms. There are exceptions, of course, but it’s crowded. If I exit through the side door, the startup party will roll on uninterrupted.

Now, I’m certainly not the best writer in the world. I have no delusions otherwise. People like John McPhee and Michael Lewis make me want to cry into my pillow.

BUT . . . if I stop writing, perhaps I’m squandering the biggest opportunity I have, created through much luck, to have a lasting impact on the greatest number of people. This feeling of urgency was multiplied 100-fold in the 2 months preceding the decision, as several close friends died in accidents no one saw coming. Life is short. Put another way: A long life is far from guaranteed. Nearly everyone dies before they’re ready.

I was tired of being interchangeable, no matter how lucrative the game. Even if I end up wrong about the writing, I’d curse myself if I didn’t give it a shot.

Are you squandering your unique abilities? Or the chance to find them in the first place?

How Often Are You Saying “Hell, Yeah!”?

Philosopher-programmer Derek Sivers is one of my favorite people.

His incisive thinking has always impressed me, and his “hell, yeah!” or “no” philosophy has become one of my favorite rules of thumb. From his blog:

Those of you who often over-commit or feel too scattered may appreciate a new philosophy I’m trying: If I’m not saying “HELL YEAH!” about something, then I say no.

Meaning: When deciding whether to commit to something, if I feel anything less than “Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!”􏰀 — 􏰀then my answer is no. When you say no to most things, you leave room in your life to really throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say, “HELL YEAH!” We’re all busy. We’ve all taken on too much. Saying yes to less is the way out.

To become “successful,” you have to say “yes” to a lot of experiments. To learn what you’re best at, or what you’re most passionate about, you have to throw a lot against the wall.

Once your life shifts from pitching outbound to defending against inbound, however, you have to ruthlessly say “no” as your default. Instead of throwing spears, you’re holding the shield.

From 2007 to 2009 and again from 2012 to 2013, I said yes to way too many “cool” things.

Would I like to go to a conference in South America? Write a time-consuming guest article for a well-known magazine? Invest in a startup that five of my friends were in? “Sure, that sounds kinda cool,” I’d say, dropping it in the calendar. Later, I’d pay the price of massive distraction and overwhelm. My agenda became a list of everyone else’s agendas.

Saying yes to too much “cool” will bury you alive and render you a B-player, even if you have A-player skills. To develop your edge initially, you learn to set priorities; to maintain your edge, you need to defend against the priorities of others.

Once you reach a decent level of professional success, lack of opportunity won’t kill you. It’s drowning in “kinda cool” commitments that will sink the ship.

These days, I find myself saying “Hell, yes!” less and less with new startups. That’s my cue to exit stage left completely, especially when I can do work I love (e.g., writing) with 1⁄10 the energy expenditure.

I need to stop sowing the seeds of my own destruction.

How Much of Your Life Is Making Versus Managing? How Do You Feel About the Split?

One of my favorite time-management essays is “Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule” by Paul Graham of Y Combinator fame. Give it a read.

As investor Brad Feld and many others have observed, great creative work isn’t possible if you’re trying to piece together 30 minutes here and 45 minutes there. Large, uninterrupted blocks of time — 3 to 5 hours minimum — create the space needed to find and connect the dots.

And one block per week isn’t enough. There has to be enough slack in the system for multi-day, CPU-intensive synthesis. For me, this means at least 3 to 4 mornings per week where I am in “maker” mode until at least 1 p.m.

If I’m reactive, maker mode is impossible. Email and texts of “We’re over- committed but might be able to squeeze you in for $25K. Closing tomorrow. Interested?” are creative kryptonite.

I miss writing, creating, and working on bigger projects. “Yes” to that means “no” to any games of whack-a-mole.

What Blessings in Excess Have Become a Curse? Where Do You Have Too Much of a Good Thing?

In excess, most things take on the characteristics of their opposite. Thus: Pacifists become militants. Freedom fighters become tyrants. Blessings become curses. Help becomes hindrance. More becomes less.

To explore this concept more, read up on Aristotle’s golden mean.

In my first 1 to 2 years of angel investing, my basic criteria were simple:

• Consumer-facing products or services
• Products I could be a dedicated “power user” of, products that scratched a personal itch
• Initial target demographic of 25- to 40-year-old tech-savvy males in big U.S. cities like S.F., NYC, Chicago, L.A., etc. (allowed me to accelerate growth/scaling with my audience)
• Less than $10 million pre-money valuation
• Demonstrated traction and consistent growth (not doctored with paid acquisition)
• No “party rounds” — crowded financing rounds with no clear lead investor. Party rounds often lead to poor due diligence and few people with enough skin in the game to really care.

Checking these boxes allowed me to add a lot of value quickly, even as relatively cheap labor (i.e., I took a tiny stake in the company).

My ability to help spread via word of mouth, and I got what I wanted: great “deal flow.” Deals started flowing in en masse from other founders and investors.

Fast forward to 2015, and great deal flow was paralyzing the rest of my life. I was drowning in inbound.

Instead of making great things possible in my life, it was preventing great things from happening. I’m excited to go back to basics, and this requires cauterizing blessings that have become burdens.

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

How to avoid FOMO and say ‘no’​ when it matters most was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Since the success of The 4-Hour Workweek, I’ve been able to see some of the worst e-mail pitches out there.

Here is an example of how to do it properly, with 5 tips and good template phrases bolded:

Hi Tim,

I hope all is well (and I gather from your celebrity that it is — I can’t seem to go a week without seeing your book or name somewhere).

I know you place tremendous value on your time so I’ll be brief. The website I launched last fall has evolved into a much more far-reaching venture: a software company that provides fundraising optimization and online advocacy solutions for nonprofits. I’m raising $500–750k for the business, called Donor Loyalty Corp, and have a meaningful percentage of that already committed from various Angel investors.

Naturally, I’m courting a number of prospective Angels from my personal network to hopefully fill out the rest of the round. However, I was curious if your experience has taught you any lessons about identifying seed-stage investors and, more specifically, if you’ve come to know any Princeton Alums or other individuals who have an appetite for deals like these. I’ve attached my fundraising deck for some context.

I understand if you’re too busy to answer in depth or would prefer not to discuss the topic given our limited interactions in the past. However, if the professor in you has any pearls of wisdom or specific thoughts, they would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance and I hope we can connect.

Best,

Robert J. Moore ‘06

###

Here are a few notes on this e-mail and what makes it more likely to get a response:

1. It’s short and what he’s requesting is clear. No “let’s jump on the phone for 10 minutes; it’ll be worth your time.”

2. He made an impression in our initial meeting, and he hasn’t irritated me with zero-content “keeping in touch” e-mails. He hasn’t worn out his inbox welcome.

3. He makes it clear that he’s doing his part and has explored other avenues before asking for my help. It’s amazing how many would-be mentees or beneficiaries ask busier people for answers Google could provide in 20 seconds. That puts you on the banned list. Explicitly state what you’ve done to get answers or help yourself.

4. He used the executive recruiter referral trick. Seldom will a headhunter call a gainfully employed CXO-level executive and ask them to take another position. They’ll instead ask the exec if they know anyone who might be interested in position X. The intention is clear (might you consider this job over your current employer?), but it gives the executive a comfortable decline option.

5. He makes it clear that it’s OK if I can’t help or if I’m too committed elsewhere. This — paradoxically — makes it much more likely he’ll get a response, which he did.

The above 5 tenets should be considered for any e-mail to someone who probably deletes more e-mail in a day than you read in a week. If they appear in media regularly, assume that you are competing against at least 100 similar requests.

E-mail is like food. Good recipes produce good results, but you need to follow the proper steps.

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

5 Tips For Emailing Busy People was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

How do you generate the most profit with the least effort? How do you maximize margins without sacrificing quality?

I’m not talking more customers, nor more revenue, nor more offices and employees. Profit.

Based on my interviews with high-performing CEOs (“high-performing” determined using annual-profit-per-employee measurements) in more than a dozen countries, I’ve listed 11 common “rules” below. This is a return-to-basics call.

Here’s your cheat sheet for consistent profitability — or doubling of it — in 3 months or less.

1. Repetition is Usually Redundant — Good Advertising Works the First Time

Use direct response advertising (call-to-action to a phone number or website) that is uniquely trackable — fully accountable advertising — instead of “image” or “brand” advertising (e.g. billboards with no URL/phone/messaging), unless others are pre-purchasing product to offset the cost (e.g. “If you pre-purchase 288 units, we’ll feature your store/URL/phone exclusively in a full-page ad in….”).

Don’t listen to advertising salespeople who tell you that 3, 7, or 27 exposures are needed before someone will act. Well-designed and well-targeted advertising works the first time. If something works partially well (e.g., high click-through with low percentage conversion to sales (CVR), or low click-through with high conversion, etc.), indicating that a strong ROI might be possible with small changes, tweak one variable and micro-test once more.

Cancel anything that cannot be justified with a trackable ROI.

2. Pricing before Product — Plan Distribution First

Is your pricing scalable?

Many companies will sell direct-to-consumer by necessity in early stages, often through a simple website. Only later do they realize that their margins can’t accommodate resellers and distributors when they come knocking. This is true whether your “distributor” is iTunes, a worldwide widget distributor, or Orbitz.

If you have a 40% profit margin and a national distributor needs a 70% discount off of retail (or “cut”) to sell into wholesale accounts, you’re forever limited to direct-to-consumer… unless you increase your pricing and margins after-the-fact, or launch new “premium” products to fix the problem. For a bootlegged start-up, this distraction can equal sky-high customer churn or death altogether.

Plan out your first two years of distribution plan before setting pricing.

Think digital is different? Think again.

Test assumptions and find hidden costs by interviewing those who have done it: will you need to pay for co-op advertising, offer rebates for bulk purchases, or pay for shelfspace or featured placement? I know one former CEO of a national brand who had to sell his company to one of the world’s largest soft drink manufacturers before he could access front-of-store shelving in top retailers.

Test your assumptions and do your homework before setting pricing. It’s not a small thing.

3. Less is More — Limiting Distribution to Increase Profit

Is more distribution automatically better? Not necessarily.

Uncontrolled distribution leads to all manner of headache and profit-bleeding, most often related to rogue discounters. Reseller A lowers pricing to compete with online discounter B, and the price cutting continues until neither is making sufficient profit on the product and both stop reordering from you (or selling/referring your product). This race to the bottom requires you to launch new products, as price erosion is almost always irreversible.

Avoid this scenario and consider partnering with one or two key distributors instead, using that exclusivity to negotiate better terms: less discounting, prepayment instead of net payment terms, preferred placement and marketing support, etc.

Whether Apple or Estée Lauder, sustainable high-profit brands usually begin with controlled distribution. Remember that more customers isn’t the goal; more sustained profit is.

4. Net-0 — Create Demand vs. Offering Terms:

This is related to Rule #3.

Focus on creating end-user demand so you can dictate terms. Often one large advertisement, bought at discount remnant rates, will be enough to provide this leverage.

Just because everyone in your industry offers payment terms doesn’t mean you have to, and offering terms is one of the most consistent ingredients in start-up failure.

To avoid getting strung out and cash-flow poor: Cite start-up economics and the ever-so-useful “company policy” as reasons for needing prepayment and apologize, but don’t make exceptions.

If you agree to receive payment on net-30 terms (they pay 30 days from invoice, or receipt of product), it will become net-60, which becomes net-120. Time is the most expensive asset a start-up has, and chasing delinquent accounts will prevent you from generating more sales.

On the hand, if tons of customers are asking for your product, resellers and distributors will need to buy. It’s that simple. Think a big order from Walmart is a godsend? Be careful. Since they’re almost always net-180+, and they can return unsold product, it could actually be the death of your company. How are you going to pay for the needed inventory? Typically, debt. What will you do if they return half of it because they didn’t give it proper placement, so it didn’t have sufficient sell-through? Be careful, lads and lasses.

Put funds and time into strategic marketing and PR to tip the scales in your favor. Consumer demand = your ability to negotiate better terms.

5. Limit Downside to Ensure Upside — Sacrifice Margin for Safety

Don’t manufacture products in large quantities to increase your margin, unless your product and marketing are tested and ready for roll-out. In other words, only when you already have a proven demand and can forecast sell-through rate.

If a limited number of prototypes cost $10 per piece to manufacture and sell for $11 each, that’s fine for the initial testing period, and essential for limiting downside. Sacrifice margin temporarily for the testing phase, if need be, and avoid potentially fatal upfront overcommitments.

6. Niche is the New Big — The Lavish Dwarf Entertainment Rule

Several years ago, an investment banker was jailed for SEC violations.

He was caught partly due to his lavish parties on yachts, often featuring hired dwarves. No joke. The owner of the dwarf rental company, Danny Black, was quoted in the Wall Street Journal as saying: “Some people are just into lavish dwarf entertainment.”

Niche in the new big, I tell you. And here’s the secret: it’s possible to niche market and mass sell.

iPhone commercials don’t feature dancing 50-year olds, they feature hip and fit 20–30-somethings, but everyone and his grandmother wants to feel youthful and hip, so they strap on Apple gear and call themselves converts. Who you portray in your marketing isn’t necessarily the only demographic who buys your product — it’s often the demographic that most people aspire to. The target isn’t the market.

No one aspires to be the bland average, so don’t water down messaging to appeal to everyone–it will end up appealing to no one.

7. Revisit Drucker — What Gets Measured Gets Managed:

Measure compulsively, for as Peter Drucker stated: what gets measured gets managed.

Useful metrics to track, besides the usual operational stats, include CPO (“Cost-Per-Order,” which includes advertising, fulfillment and expected returns, chargebacks, and bad debt), ad allowable (the maximum you can spend on an advertisement and expect breakeven), MER (media efficiency ratio), and projected lifetime value (LV) given return rates and reorder %. Consider applying direct response advertising metrics to your business.

Look at “lean startup” metrics for more methods of measuring during the start-up phase. The work of Eric Ries is a good starting place.

8. Hyperactivity vs. Productivity — 80/20 and Pareto’s Law

Being busy is not the same as being productive. In fact, being busy is a form of laziness — lazy thinking and indiscriminate action.

Forget about the startup overwork ethic that people wear as a badge of honor — get analytical. I’m not going to say “work smarter; don’t work harder,” as I’m fine with hard work…but only as long as it’s applied to the right things.

The 80/20 principle, also known as Pareto’s Law, dictates that 80% of your desired outcomes are the result of 20% of your activities or inputs. Once per week, stop putting out fires for an afternoon and run the numbers to ensure you’re placing effort in high-yield areas:

What 20% of customers/products/regions are producing 80% or more of the profit? What are the factors that could account for this?

Invest in duplicating your few strong areas instead of fixing all of your weaknesses.

9. The Customer is Not Always Right — “Fire” High-Maintenance Customers

Not all customers are created equal.

Apply the 80/20 principle to time consumption: What 20% of people are consuming 80% of your time? Put high-maintenance, low-profit customers on autopilot. Sure, process their orders, but don’t pursue them or check up on them. And “fire” high-maintenance, high-profit customers by sending a memo detailing how a change in business model requires new policies at your company: how often and how to communicate, standardized pricing and order process, etc.

Indicate that, for those clients whose needs are incompatible with these new policies, you are happy to introduce other providers.

“But what if my largest customer consumes all of my time?” you ask?

Recognize that 1) without time, you cannot scale your company (and, oftentimes, life) beyond that customer, and 2) people, even good people, will unknowingly abuse your time to the extent that you let them.

Set good rules for all involved. Minimize back-and-forth and meaningless communication.

10. Deadlines over Details — Test Reliability Before Capability

Skill is overrated.

Perfect products delivered past deadline kill companies. Better to have a good-enough product delivered on-time. Google “minimal viable product” for more on this philosophy. Even the great Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, has wisely said that, “If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late.”

Test someone’s ability to deliver on a specific and tight deadline before hiring them based on a dazzling portfolio.

Products can be fixed as long as you have cash-flow, and bugs are forgiven, but missing deadlines is often fatal. Calvin Coolidge once said that nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent; I would add that the second most common is smart people who think their IQ or resume justifies delivering late. Don’t tolerate it.

11. Keep it simple. Complicated answers are rarely the right answers.

‘Nuff said.

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

The 11 Rules of Highly Profitable Companies was originally published in The Startup on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

When facing life’s questions, who do you turn to for advice? For me, I turn to experts. In the past year, I had the opportunity to ask over 100 brilliant people 11 questions as I put together for my most recent book Tribe of Mentors. One of my favorite questions I sent to each was: What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?

Their responses were immediately actionable, which is one thing I look for when compiling the mix of questions included in the book. Here are 16 of my favorites and a little about who recommended each:

1) The Five-Minute Journal and a Spiralizer

“The Five-Minute Journal gives focus to each day. I got it at Urban Outfitters. And maybe the Spiralizer, too. It makes salad so much more fun and interesting to eat.”

— Anníe Mist Þórisdóttir. Professional CrossFit Athlete.

2) Tile Mate Key Finder

“Tile Mate key finder on Amazon. It’s given me hours of my life back that were previously spent dashing around the house, looking for my keys. Works great with pets, too!”

— Neil Strauss. Eight-time New York Times best-selling author.

3) SleepPhones

“SleepPhones. It’s a headband that goes over your eyes and ears and that has in-side two ultraflat earphones so you can listen to books as you fall asleep.”

— Matt Ridley, author of multiple books, including The Rational Optimist.

4) Bucky Neck Pillow

“My Bucky neck pillow. I travel all the time, and I don’t get much rest on the road, so it’s important for me to be able to sleep when I can.”

— Stephanie McMahon. Chief Brand officer of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. (WWE).

5) Philips Wake-Up Light

“Without a doubt, I would say my dawn simulator [Philips Wake-Up Light]. It is an alarm clock that wakes you up with light instead of sound. Because of this change, you feel as if you are waking up on your own and aren’t groggy.”

— Mathew Fraser. Professional CrossFit athlete.

6) Winco TN719 Spatula

“It’s amazing what the right tool can do to your breakfast.”

— Darren Aronofsky. Award-winning filmmaker behind cult classic films such as Pi, Requiem for a Dream, and The Wrestler.

7) The FriXion by Pilot Pen

“I’m a bit of a pen geek. I recently found an erasable pen — the FriXion by Pilot in blue. It writes so smoothly, and being able to erase it gives me a sense of power and delight. I often use the pen with a “smart” notebook (like the Rocketbook Everlast smart notebook) that can be reused.”

— Laura R. Walker. President and CEO of New York Public Radio, the largest public radio station group in the nation.

8) Host Defense — MyCommunity Capsules, Multi Mushroom Support for Immune Response

“Paul Stamets’ Host Defense MyCommunity mushroom complex is the most incredible immunity supplement I have ever taken (and I have taken a lot of them!). No matter how much I travel, how many hands I shake, or how exhausted I am, I don’t get sick as long as I take the supplement diligently.”

— Samin Nosrat. Writer, Teacher, and Chef.

9) Hearos Xtreme Protection Earplugs

“Earplugs for sleeping. I’ve tried them all. Hearos Xtreme Protection NRR 33 work best and are the most comfortable. If you really want to go to extremes to also control light, Lonfrote Deep Molded Sleep Mask is the best for airplanes or anywhere else.”

— Andrew Ross Sorkin. Financial columnist for The New York Times.

10) 10-Foot iPhone Charger

“Easy. My ten-foot iPhone charger from Native Union and my Fierce lip balm from Tata Harper.”

— Dr. Brene Brown. Author of several books, including The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and Braving the Wilderness.

11) Manduka PRO Black Yoga Mat

“I got a Manduka PRO black yoga mat for about $100 (on sale). It is such a heavy, luxurious mat that it encourages me to practice at home, which is frankly a miracle.”

— Leo Babuta. Founder of Zen Habits.

12) Deuserband Original Exercise Band

“A Deuserband Original has been an amazing discovery for me. Especially when I spend long sessions in a chair, it feels great to stretch my arms and back, and it improves your posture.”

— Fedor Holz. Professional Poker Player

13) Blinkist App

“Blinkist — an app that condenses nonfiction books into 15-minute reads.”

— Liv Boeree. Professional Poker Player

14) Butterfly Petr Korbel Table Tennis Racket

“My Butterfly Petr Korbel table tennis racket. Because when I bought it, I knew I was really committing to my training as a Ping-Pong player. I have always loved the game, always told myself I’d try to get good someday. Buying it said that day is now.”

— Brian Koppelman. Creator of Billions, co-writer of Rounders and Ocean’s Thirteen.

15) Electric Single Burner

“An electric single burner. I use the Aroma Housewares AHP-303/CHP-303 Single Hot Plate. It costs less than $20 and is great for keeping a cup of coffee (or three) hot!”

— Jon Call. “The Anabolic Acrobat.”

16) Large Weighted Blanket

“The large weighted blanket from Weighted Blankets Plus LLC. I am not an expert on the science of why it works, but the “deep touch pressure” helps the body release more serotonin. When I’m anxious, stressed, or can’t sleep, I use it and I instantly feel calmer.”

— Whitney Cummings. Comedian, actor, writer, and producer.

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

16 Things You Can Buy For Under $100 That Can Change Your Life was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“Not-to-do” lists are often more effective than to-do lists for upgrading performance.

The reason is simple: what you don’t do determines what you can do.

Here are nine stressful and common habits that entrepreneurs and office workers should strive to eliminate. The bullets are followed by more detailed descriptions. Focus on one or two at a time, just as you would with high-priority to-do items. I’ve worded them in not-to-do action form:

1. Do not answer calls from unrecognized phone numbers

Feel free to surprise others, but don’t be surprised. It just results in unwanted interruption and poor negotiating position. Let it go to voicemail and relax.

2. Do not e-mail first thing in the morning or last thing at night

The former scrambles your priorities and plans for the day, and the latter just gives you insomnia. E-mail can wait until 10am, after you’ve completed at least one of your critical to-do items…

3. Do not agree to meetings or calls with no clear agenda or end time

If the desired outcome is defined clearly with a stated objective and agenda listing topics/questions to cover, no meeting or call should last more than 30 minutes. Request them in advance so you “can best prepare and make good use of the time together.”

4. Do not let people ramble

Forget “how’s it going?” when someone calls you. Stick with “what’s up?” or “I’m in the middle of getting something out, but what’s going on?” A big part of GTD is GTP — Getting To the Point.

5. Do not check e-mail constantly — “batch” and check at set times only

Get off the cocaine pellet dispenser and focus on execution of your top to-do’s instead of responding to manufactured emergencies. Set up a strategic autoresponder and check twice or thrice daily.

6. Do not over-communicate with low-profit, high-maintenance customers

There is no sure path to success, but the surest path to failure is trying to please everyone. Do an 80/20 analysis of your customer base in two ways–which 20% are producing 80%+ of my profit, and which 20% are consuming 80%+ of my time? Then put the loudest and least productive on autopilot by citing a change in company policies. Send them an e-mail with new rules as bullet points: number of permissible phone calls, e-mail response time, minimum orders, etc. Offer to point them to another provider if they can’t conform to the new policies.

7. Do not work more to fix overwhelm — prioritize

If you don’t prioritize, everything seems urgent and important. If you define the single most important task for each day, almost nothing seems urgent or important. Oftentimes, it’s just a matter of letting little bad things happen (return a phone call late and apologize, pay a small late fee, lose an unreasonable customer, etc.) to get the big important things done. The answer to overwhelm is not spinning more plates — or doing more — it’s defining the few things that can really fundamentally change your business and life.

8. Do not carry a cellphone 24/7

Take at least one day off of digital leashes per week. Turn them off or, better still, leave them in the garage or in the car. I do this on at least Saturday, and I recommend you leave the phone at home if you go out for dinner. So what if you return a phone call an hour later or the next morning? As one reader put it to a miffed co-worker who worked 24/7 and expected the same: “I’m not the president of the US. No one should need me at 8pm at night. OK, you didn’t get a hold of me. But what bad happened?” The answer? Nothing.

9. Do not expect work to fill a void that non-work relationships and activities should

Work is not all of life. Your co-workers shouldn’t be your only friends. Schedule life and defend it just as you would an important business meeting. Never tell yourself “I’ll just get it done this weekend.” Review Parkinson’s Law in The 4-Hour Workweek and force yourself to cram within tight hours so your per-hour productivity doesn’t fall through the floor. Focus, get the critical few done, and get out. E-mailing all weekend is no way to spend the little time you have on this planet.

—

It’s hip to focus on getting things done, but it’s only possible once we remove the constant static and distraction. If you have trouble deciding what to do, just focus on not doing. Different means, same end.

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

The Not-To-Do List: 9 Habits to Stop Now was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Email is the single largest interruption in modern life.

In a digital world, creating time hinges on minimizing it.

The first step towards controlling the email impulse is setting up an autoresponse, which indicates you will be checking email twice per day or less. This is an example of “batching” tasks, or performing like tasks at set times, between which you let them accumulate.

In this post, I will share two of my own tried-and-true email autoresponses, one short and one long.

Your success with batching — whether laundry, phone calls, or email — will depend on two factors: your ability to train others to respect these intervals, and, much more difficult, your ability to discipline yourself to follow your own rules.

So what works?

Before my current examples, let’s look at a basic template from The 4-Hour Workweek. Readers have tested this one in 30+ languages:

Greetings, Friends [or Esteemed Colleagues],

Due to high workload, I am currently checking and responding to email twice daily at 12:00 P.M. ET [or your time zone] and 4:00 P.M. ET.

If you require urgent assistance (please ensure it is urgent) that cannot wait until either 12:00 P.M. or 4:00 P.M., please contact me via phone at 555–555–5555.

Thank you for understanding this move to more efficiency and effectiveness. It helps me accomplish more to serve you better.

Sincerely,

[Your name]

The above is simple but works. Furthermore, bosses respond better than you’d think. Here’s a real-world example.

Now, on to my current faves…

The short one assumes that anyone without contact info can wait. The longer one provides links so that I can ignore hundreds of email entirely.

Of course, adapt for your own situation and preferences.

№1 — Short and Sweet

[VARIANT ONE — WITH ASSISTANT]

SUBJECT LINE: IMPORTANT — Please Email [Assistant’s Name] if Urgent

“Hi All,

Due to other commitments, I’m checking email no more than once a week, often less. If it’s truly urgent (cannot wait a week), please call or email my assistant. If you don’t have her info, thank you for waiting until we get back to the inbox.

All the best to you and yours,

Tim

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — –

Invest in tech companies that I back (Past: Uber, Twitter, etc.)

https://angel.co/tim/syndicate

Q: Why is this email five sentences or less?

A: http://five.sentenc.es

[VARIANT TWO — WITHOUT ASSISTANT]

“Hi All,

Due to other commitments, I’m checking email no more than once a week, often less. If it’s truly urgent (cannot wait a week), please call my cell. If you don’t have it, thank you for waiting until I can get back to the inbox.

All the best to you and yours,

Tim”

№2 — Longer and More Comprehensive

SUBJECT LINE: IMPORTANT — Please Email [Assistant’s Name] if Urgent

“Hi All,

Sadly, due to deadlines, I am unable to read or respond to most email. Please don’t be offended, as this is true even for close friends.

If you genuinely need to reach me urgently (if it can wait a week, it’s not urgent) –

– If you have my cell phone, try and call or text me.

– Otherwise, please email [assistant’s email address].

For other contacts besides [assistant], please go here:

[insert “Contact” page URL from website]

Thanks very much for understanding!

All the best to you and yours,

Tim

P.S. If you are emailing about publishing or book marketing advice, here are the resources I’ll point you to:

BOOK MARKETING ADVICE

1) For a popular recap of my launch for The 4-Hour Body, which hit #1 New York Times, here is 12 Lessons Learned While Marketing “The 4-Hour Body.”

2) I also found Rick Frishman and Robyn Spizman’s book on book publicity helpful for my first launch.

3) All of the other advice I might give, probably more in many cases (as I can use

links) can be found here: How to Write a Bestselling Book This Year — The Definitive Resource List and How-To Guide

And here: https://tim.blog/category/marketing/

Hope that all helps!

Best,

Tim

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — –

Tim Ferriss bio: https://tim.blog/about/

Invest in tech companies that I back (Past: Uber, Twitter, etc.)

https://angel.co/tim/syndicate“

What About Yours?

Autoresponders are both an art (due to wordsmithing) and an evolving science, as complaint rates, percentage decreases in inbound email, etc. can all be tested.

Further Resources:

Not-To-Do Lists, Drugs, and Other Productivity Tricks

The Best (and Worst?) Autoresponders of 2007

The 4-Hour Workweek Tools

How to Check E-mail Twice a Day… And Have Your Boss Accept It

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

Over the past three years, I’ve been fortunate enough to interview over 200 world-class performers on my podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which recently passed 200,000,000 downloads.

The guests included chess prodigies, movie stars, four-star generals, pro athletes, and hedge fund managers. It was a motley crew.

More than a handful of them have since become collaborators in business and creative projects, spanning from investments to indie film.

As a result, I’d absorbed a lot of their wisdom outside of our recordings, whether over workouts, wine-infused jam sessions, text message exchanges, dinners, or late-night phone calls.

My life had already improved in every area as a result of the lessons I could remember. But that was the tip of the iceberg. The majority of the gems were still lodged in thousands of pages of transcripts and hand-scribbled notes. More than anything, I longed for the chance to distill everything into a playbook.

The result was my book: Tools of Titans, the distilled tools, tactics, and “inside baseball” from super celebs (Jamie Foxx, Arnold Schwarzenegger, etc.) and athletes (icons of powerlifting, gymnastics, surfing, etc.) to legendary Special Operations commanders and black-market biochemists.

I define “Tool” broadly: routines, books, common self-talk, supplements, favorite questions, and much more.

Here are 13 tools I picked up along the way:

1. Overcoming jet lag

Paul Levesque (more popularly known as Triple H): 14-time world champion in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)

During his peak travel period, Paul traveled over 260 days per year, performing in a different city each night. Here is one of his rules:

“When I landed, I would check into the hotel. The second we checked in, I’d ask them: ‘Is the gym open? Can I go train?’ Even if it was to get on a bike and ride for 15 minutes to reset things. I learned early that it seemed any time I did that, I didn’t get jet lag.”

2. If you can’t generate 10 ideas, generate 20

James Altucher: American hedge fund manager, entrepreneur, and best-selling author

James recommends the habit of writing down 10 ideas each morning in a waiter’s pad or tiny notebook. This exercise is for developing your “idea muscle” and confidence for creativity on demand, so regular practice is more important than the topics:

“What if [you] just can’t come up with 10 ideas? Here’s the magic trick: If you can’t come up with 10 ideas, come up with 20 ideas … You are putting too much pressure on yourself. Perfectionism is the ENEMY of the idea muscle … it’s your brain trying to protect you from harm, from coming up with an idea that is embarrassing and stupid and could cause you to suffer pain. The way you shut [this] off is by forcing [the brain] to come up with bad ideas.”

3. ChiliPad

Dr. Kelly Starrett: author of the New York Times bestseller, Becoming a Supple Leopard.

This was first introduced to me by Kelly and Rick Rubin (see below).

Let’s paint a familiar scene. A man and a woman are sleeping in bed under the same set of sheets and blankets. The woman’s temperature is running at roughly 700°F, giving off the heat of a pizza oven. The guy gets sweaty and kicks one leg out and on top of the sheets. Then he gets cold 10 minutes later and puts the leg underneath, repeating this cycle ad nauseam. He might even yank the covers like a child, upsetting the woman. It’s a huge headache for everybody. Sleep temperature is highly individualized.

The ChiliPad allows you to put an extremely thin — almost imperceptibly thin — sheet underneath your normal sheets that circulates water through a bedside contraption at a very precise temperature of your choosing. There are versions with two zones, so two people side by side can choose different numbers.

Maybe your magic sleeping temperature is 55°F. Or 61°F, or 75°F? If you’re cold, you can increase the temperature of the ChiliPad underneath you instead of throwing a thick blanket on top that’s going to make your partner sweat to death. It can modulate between 55 and 110°F. Experiment and find your silver bullet.

Several of my close friends in Silicon Valley sheepishly admitted that, of all the advice I’ve ever given in my books and podcasts, the ChiliPad had the biggest impact on their quality of life.

4. The cleansing power of cold

Rick Rubin: called “the most important [music] producer of the last 20 years” by MTV.

“Often, exercise will make me feel better, meditating will make me feel better, but the ice bath is the greatest of all. It’s just magic — sauna, ice, back and forth. By the end of the fourth, or fifth, or sixth round of being in an ice tub, there is nothing in the world that bothers you.”

5. Take the coffee challenge

Noah Kagan: Chief Sumo (founder) at SumoMe.

For would-be entrepreneurs (he calls them “wantrapreneurs”), or entrepreneurs who’ve grown a little too comfortable, Noah has a recommendation — ask for 10% off of your next few coffees.

“Go up to the counter and order coffee. If you don’t drink coffee, order tea. If you don’t drink tea, order water. I don’t care. Then just ask for 10% off … The coffee challenge sounds kind of silly, but the whole point is that — in business and in life — you don’t have to be on the extreme, but you have to ask for things, and you have to put yourself out there.”

6. Stargazing as therapy

BJ Miller: palliative care physician at the University of California at San Francisco and an advisor to the Zen Hospice Project in San Francisco

“When you are struggling with just about anything, look up. Just ponder the night sky for a minute and realize that we’re all on the same planet at the same time. As far as we can tell, we’re the only planet with life like ours on it anywhere nearby. Then you start looking at the stars, and you realize that the light hitting your eye is ancient, [some of the] stars that you’re seeing, they no longer exist by the time that the light gets to you.

Just mulling the bare-naked facts of the cosmos is enough to thrill me, awe me, freak me out, and kind of put all my neurotic anxieties in their proper place. A lot of people — when you’re standing at the edge of your horizon, at death’s door, you can be much more in tune with the cosmos.”

7. Treat life as a series of experiments

Derek Sivers: founder, CD Baby.

“My recommendation is to do little tests. Try a few months of living the life you think you want, but leave yourself an exit plan, being open to the big chance that you might not like it after actually trying it … The best book about this subject is Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. His recommendation is to talk to a few people who are currently where you think you want to be and ask them for the pros and cons. Then trust their opinion since they’re right in it, not just remembering or imagining.”

8. Learning from your future self

Shay Carl: SHAYTARD on YouTube (nearly 3 BILLION views).

“Think about how old you are right now and think about being a 10-year-older version of yourself. Then think, ‘What would I probably tell myself as an older version of myself?’”

9. Ask the dumb question everyone else is afraid to ask

Alex Blumberg: CEO and cofounder of Gimlet Media, makers of Reply All, StartUp, Mystery Show, and many other blockbuster podcasts.

“Often, there’s a very basic, very dumb question at the center of a story that no one’s asking. One of the biggest stories I ever did, ‘The Giant Pool of Money,’ was predicated on just such a dumb question: ‘Why are the banks loaning money to people who can’t possibly pay it back?’ Asking the right dumb question is often the smartest thing you can do.”

10. “Any time I’m telling myself, ‘But I’m making so much money,’ that’s a warning sign that I’m doing the wrong thing.”

B.J. Novak: actor, writer, director, and executive producer of “The Office”

Looking back at his career, B.J. noticed that he could have stalled in a number of places. Instead, he became very well known for “The Office” and other mega-successes. How did he repeatedly choose the right fork in the road? He attributes a lot of it to heeding the above rule of thumb.

If you find yourself saying, “But I’m making so much money” about a job or project, pay attention. “But I’m making so much money,” or “But I’m making good money” is a warning sign that you’re probably not on the right track or, at least, that you shouldn’t stay there for long. Money can always be regenerated. Time and reputation cannot.

11. Quality questions create a quality life

Tony Robbins: the world’s most famous performance coach.

Tony sometimes phrases this as, “The quality of your life is the quality of your questions.” Questions determine your focus. Most people — and I’m certainly guilty of this at times — spend their lives focusing on negativity (e.g., “How could he say that to me?!”) and therefore the wrong priorities.

12. “Two is one and one is none.”

Jocko Willink: co-founder, Echelon Front, and co-author the #1 New York Times bestseller Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win.

This is a common expression among SEALs. Jocko explains: “It just means, ‘Have a backup.’” If you have two of something, you will break or lose one and end up with one remaining; if you have one, you will break or lose it and be screwed.

One of my favorite Franz Kafka quotes is related: “Better to have, and not need, than to need, and not have.” Where can you eliminate “single points of failure” in your life or business?

Jocko adds, “And don’t just have backup gear — have a backup plan to handle likely contingencies.”

13. Don’t attribute to malice that which can be explained otherwise

Alain de Botton: author, How Proust Can Change Your Life, Essays in Love, Status Anxiety, The Architecture of Happiness, The News: A User’s Manual, and Art as Therapy.

“Wasn’t it Bill Clinton who said that when dealing with anyone who’s upset, he always asks, ‘Has this person slept? Have they eaten? Is somebody else bugging them?’ He goes through this simple checklist … When we’re handling babies and the baby is kicking and crying, we almost never once say, ‘That baby’s out to get me’ or ‘She’s got evil intentions.’”

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

13 Tactics of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

To do or not to do? To try or not to try? Most people will vote no, whether they consider themselves brave or not. Uncertainty and the prospect of failure can be very scary noises in the shadows. Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty. For years, I set goals, made resolutions to change direction, and nothing came of either. I was just as insecure and scared as the rest of the world.

Through a series of mistakes, failures, and accidents, I eventually learned how to create a scale that made decision-making an easier process. I realized that on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being nothing and 10 being permanently life-changing, my so-called worst-case scenario might have a temporary impact of 3 or 4. I believe this is true of most people and most would-be “holy sh*t, my life is over” disasters. Keep in mind that this is the one-in-a-million disaster nightmare. On the other hand, if I realized my best-case scenario or even a probable-case scenario, it would easily have a permanent 9 or 10 positive life-changing effect.

In other words, I was risking an unlikely and temporary 3 or 4 for a probable and permanent 9 or 10, and I could easily recover my baseline workaholic prison with a bit of extra work if I wanted to.

If you are nervous about making the jump or simply putting it off out of fear of the unknown, here is your antidote. I created this checklist for my book Tools of Titans, which uncovers the lessons I’ve learned from 200+ interviews with the billionaires, icons, and world-class performers.

Write down your answers, and keep in mind that thinking a lot will not prove as fruitful or as prolific as simply brain vomiting on the page. Write and do not edit — aim for volume. Spend a few minutes on each answer.

1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering.

What doubt, fears, and “what-ifs” pop up as you consider the big changes you can (or need to) make? Envision them in painstaking detail. Would it be the end of your life? What would be the permanent impact, if any, on a scale of 1 to 10? Are these things really permanent? How likely do you think it is that they would actually happen?

2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things back on the upswing, even if temporarily?

Chances are, it’s easier than you imagine. How could you get things back under control?

3. What are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios?

Now that you’ve defined the nightmare, what are the more probable or definite positive outcomes, whether internal (confidence, self-esteem, etc.) or external? What would the impact of these more likely outcomes be on a scale of 1 to 10? How likely is it that you could produce at least a moderately good outcome? Have less intelligent people done this before and pulled it off?

4. If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control?

Imagine this scenario and run through questions one to three above. If you quit your job to test other options, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?

5. What are you putting off out of fear?

Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do. That phone call, that conversation, whatever the action might be — it is fear of unknown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do. Define the worst case, accept it, and do it. I’ll repeat something you might consider tattooing on your forehead: What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. As I have heard said, a person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have. Resolve to do one thing every day that you fear. I got into this habit by attempting to contact celebrities and famous business people for advice.

6. What is it costing you — financially, emotionally, and physically — to postpone action?

Don’t only evaluate the potential downside of action. It is equally important to measure the atrocious cost of inaction. If you don’t pursue those things that excite you, where will you be in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years? How will you feel having allowed circumstance to impose itself upon you and having allowed 10 more years of your finite life to pass doing what you know will not fulfill you? If you telescope out 10 years and know with 100% certainty that it is a path of disappointment and regret, and if we define risk as “the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome,” inaction is the greatest risk of all.

7. What are you waiting for?

If you cannot answer this without resorting to the BS concept of “good timing,” the answer is simple: You’re afraid, just like the rest of the world. Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

The 7-Step Checklist for Overcoming Fear was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our training.” ― Archilochus

Mental toughness can take many forms: resilience against attack, calmness in the face of uncertainty, persistence through pain, or focus amidst chaos.

Below are eight lessons from eight of the toughest human beings I know.

All are taken from the hundreds of tips and tactics in Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers.

1. “If you want to be tougher, be tougher.”

— Jocko Willink, former Navy SEAL Commander

“If you want to be tougher mentally, it is simple: Be tougher. Don’t meditate on it.”

These words of Jocko’s helped one listener — a drug addict — get sober after many failed attempts. The simple logic struck a chord: “Being tougher” was, more than anything, a decision to be tougher. It’s possible to immediately “be tougher,” starting with your next decision. Have trouble saying “no” to dessert? Be tougher. Make that your starting decision. Feeling winded? Take the stairs anyway. Ditto. It doesn’t matter how small or big you start. If you want to be tougher, be tougher.

2. “I wasn’t there to compete. I was there to win.”

— Arnold Schwarzenegger

In my interview with Arnold, I brought up a photo of him at age 19, just before he won his first big competition, Junior Mr. Europe.

I asked, “Your face was so confident compared to every other competitor. Where did that confidence come from?” He replied:

“My confidence came from my vision. . . . I am a big believer that if you have a very clear vision of where you want to go, then the rest of it is much easier. Because you always know why you are training 5 hours a day, you always know why you are pushing and going through the pain barrier, and why you have to eat more, and why you have to struggle more, and why you have to be more disciplined… I felt that I could win it, and that was what I was there for. I wasn’t there to compete. I was there to win.”

3. Push harder, share privation, tackle fear.

— 4-Star General Stanley McChrystal

The following from Gen. McChyrstal was in response to “What are three tests or practices from the military that civilians could use to help develop mental toughness?”:

“The first is to push yourself harder than you believe you’re capable of. You’ll find new depth inside yourself. The second is to put yourself in groups who share difficulties, discomfort. We used to call it ‘shared privation.’ [Definition of privation: a state in which things essential for human well-being such as food and warmth are scarce or lacking.] You’ll find that when you have been through that kind of difficult environment, you feel more strongly about that which you’re committed to. And finally, create some fear and make individuals overcome it.”

4. Put fear in line.

— Caroline Paul, luger, firefighter, and more

In the 1990s, Caroline illegally climbed the Golden Gate Bridge, rising to ~760 feet on thin cables. She’d mentioned “putting fear in line” to me, and I asked her to dig into the specifics.

“I am not against fear. I think fear is definitely important. It’s there to keep us safe. But I do feel like some people give it too much priority. It’s one of the many things that we use to assess a situation. I am pro-bravery. That’s my paradigm.

“Fear is just one of many things that are going on. For instance, when we climbed the bridge, which was five of us deciding we wanted to walk up that cable in the middle of the night. Please don’t do that, but we did. Talk about fear — you’re walking on a cable where you have to put one foot in front of the other until you’re basically as high as a 70-story building with nothing below you and . . . two thin wires on either side.

“It’s just a walk, technically. Really, nothing’s going to happen unless some earthquake or catastrophic gust of wind hits. You’re going to be fine as long as you keep your mental state intact. In those situations, I look at all the emotions I’m feeling, which are anticipation, exhilaration, focus, confidence, fun, and fear. Then I take fear and say, ‘Well, how much priority am I going to give this? I really want to do this.’ I put it where it belongs.It’s like brick laying or making a stone wall. You fit the pieces together.”

5. Is that a dream or a goal?

— Paul Levesque/Triple H, WWE superstar and executive

“[Evander Holyfield] said that his coach at one point told him, something like his very first day, ‘You could be the next Muhammad Ali. Do you wanna do that?’ Evander said he had to ask his mom. He went home, he came back and said, ‘I wanna do that.’ The coach said, ‘Okay. Is that a dream or a goal? Because there’s a difference.’

“I’d never heard it said that way, but it stuck with me. So much so that I’ve said it to my kid now: ‘Is that a dream, or a goal? Because a dream is something you fantasize about that will probably never happen. A goal is something you set a plan for, work toward, and achieve. I always looked at my stuff that way.

“The people who were successful models to me were people who had structured goals and then put a plan in place to get to those things. I think that’s what impressed me about Arnold [Schwarzenegger]. It’s what impressed me about my father-in-law [Vince McMahon].”

6. Pain tolerance can be the force multiplier

— Amelia Boone, 3x World’s Toughest Mudder champion

“I’m not the strongest. I’m not the fastest. But I’m really good at suffering.”

7. Who do you surround yourself with when your ego feels threatened?

— Josh Waitzkin, chess prodigy, push hands world champion, first black belt under BJJ phenom Marcelo Garcia

Back in the world of combat sports and Brazilian jiu-jitsu:

“It’s very interesting to observe who the top competitors pick out when they’re five rounds into the sparring sessions and they’re completely gassed. The ones who are on the steepest growth curve look for the hardest guy there — the one who might beat them up — while others look for someone they can take a break on.”

8. The magic of a single decision.

— Christopher Sommer, former men’s gymnastics national team coach

We all get frustrated. I am particularly prone to frustration when I see little or no progress after several weeks of practicing something new. Despite Coach Sommer’s regular reminders about connective-tissue adaptations taking 200 to 210 days, after a few weeks of flailing with “straddle L extensions,” I was at my wits’ end. Even after the third workout, I had renamed them “frog spaz” in my workout journal because that’s what I resembled while doing them: a frog being electrocuted.

Each week, I sent Coach Sommer videos of my workouts via Dropbox. In my accompanying notes at one point, I expressed how discouraging it was to make zero tangible progress with this exercise. Below is his email response, which I immediately saved to Evernote to review often.

It’s all great, but I’ve bolded my favorite part.

“Dealing with the temporary frustration of not making progress is an integral part of the path towards excellence. In fact, it is essential and something that every single elite athlete has had to learn to deal with. If the pursuit of excellence was easy, everyone would do it. In fact, this impatience in dealing with frustration is the primary reason that most people fail to achieve their goals. Unreasonable expectations time-wise, resulting in unnecessary frustration, due to a perceived feeling of failure. Achieving the extraordinary is not a linear process.

“The secret is to show up, do the work, and go home.

“A blue collar work ethic married to indomitable will. It is literally that simple. Nothing interferes. Nothing can sway you from your purpose. Once the decision is made, simply refuse to budge.

“Refuse to compromise.

“And accept that quality long-term results require quality long-term focus. No emotion. No drama. No beating yourself up over small bumps in the road. Learn to enjoy and appreciate the process. This is especially important because you are going to spend far more time on the actual journey than with those all too brief moments of triumph at the end.

“Certainly celebrate the moments of triumph when they occur. More importantly, learn from defeats when they happen. In fact, if you are not encountering defeat on a fairly regular basis, you are not trying hard enough. And absolutely refuse to accept less than your best.

“Throw out a timeline. It will take what it takes.

“If the commitment is to a long-term goal and not to a series of smaller intermediate goals, then only one decision needs to be made and adhered to. Clear, simple, straightforward. Much easier to maintain than having to make small decision after small decision to stay the course when dealing with each step along the way. This provides far too many opportunities to inadvertently drift from your chosen goal. The single decision is one of the most powerful tools in the toolbox.”

BONUS: Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

8 Ways to Develop Mental Toughness was originally published in Mission.org on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Last year was an interesting year for me. I turned 40, lost several close friends of mine, and came to some sobering realizations that often strike people who are in the middle of their lives. I didn’t have a midlife crisis per se, more of a midlife reassessment. So over the past year, I’ve been reaching out to dozens of people I consider my mentors to ask them for life advice. I call the brilliant group of peak performers I chose my tribe of mentors — over 100 in all — and they helped me answer the one question I often ask: What would this look like if it were easy? Only this time, “this” was “life.”

Frankly, I wish I’d started the process of building my tribe of mentos years ago. Which is why, at every chance I got, I asked my mentors what advice they had for young people long on intelligence and drive, but short on real world experience. Here is a collection of their thoughts, pulled from my book Tribe of Mentors.

Get real-world experience.

“I’m probably hopelessly out of date but my advice is get real-world experience: Be a cowboy. Drive a truck. Join the Marine Corps. Get out of the hypercompetitive “life hack” frame of mind. I’m 74. Believe me, you’ve got all the time in the world. You’ve got ten lifetimes ahead of you. Don’t worry about your friends “beating” you or “getting somewhere” ahead of you. Get out into the real dirt world and start failing. Why do I say that? Because the goal is to connect with your own self, your own soul. Adversity. Everybody spends their life trying to avoid it. Me too. But the best things that ever happened to me came during the times when the shit hit the fan and I had nothing and nobody to help me. Who are you really? What do you really want? Get out there and fail and find out.”

— Steven Pressfield, the best-selling author of The Legend of Bagger Vance, Gates of Fire, The Afghan Campaign, and The Lion’s Gate, as well as the cult classics on creativity, The War of Art, Turning Pro, and Do the Work.

Develop your writing skills

“Focus on your writing skills. It’s the one thing I’ve found that really helps people stand out. More and more communication is written today. Get great at presenting yourself with words, and words alone, and you’ll be far ahead of most.”

— Jason Fried is the co-founder and CEO of Basecamp (previously 37signals).

Have something to look forward to

“Make sure you have something every day you’re looking forward to. Maybe it’s your job, maybe it’s a basketball game after work or a voice lesson or your writing group, maybe it’s a date. But have something every day that lights you up. It’ll keep your soul hungry to create more of these moments.”

— Soman Chainani — The School for Good and Evil, has sold more than a million copies, has been translated into more than 20 languages across six continents, and will soon be a film from Universal Pictures.

Love the process, not just the outcome

“If you are struggling to figure out where you are headed in life or what you are passionate about, pay attention to activities, ideas, and areas where you love the process, not just the results or the outcome. We are drawn to tasks where we can receive validation through results, but I’ve learned that true fulfillment comes from love of the process. Look for something where you love the process, and the results will follow.”

— Amelia Boone is a four-time world champion in the sport of obstacle course racing (OCR) and is widely considered the world’s most decorated obstacle racer.

Don’t be too eager for credit

“Be in a hurry to learn, not in a hurry to get validation. In a team environment, you will make a much better impression if it seems like you’re not at all worried about yourself. It’s okay to actually be worried about yourself — everyone is — just don’t seem like it. If you resist asking for too much, you will often get more.”

— Evan Williams is the co-founder of Blogger, Twitter, and Medium.

Limit your technology addiction

“I would advise them to be much more mindful and deliberate about their relationship with technology. Technology allows us to do amazing things, but we have become addicted to it. And that’s by design — product designers know how to addict us in the race to dominate the attention economy. But there are ways to — as Tristan Harris, a former Google design ethicist, puts it — “unhijack your mind.” [For example] one tip is to scramble apps regularly, which interrupts the conditioning we all have to the pattern of apps on our phones. Creating this pattern interrupt will make it easier to be more mindful about phone use, creating just a little bit of space and time in which people can decide for themselves whether they really need to use their phone or whether they’re grabbing it out of boredom or habit.”

— Arianna Huffington has been named to Time magazine’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people and Forbes’ “Most Powerful Women” list.

Macro patience, micro speed

“Macro patience, micro speed. They should not care about the next eight years, but they should stress the next eight days.

At a macro, I think everybody’s super impatient. I think I’m unbelievably patient in years and decades, and unbelievably sporadic and hyper every minute on a day-to-day basis. I genuinely think everybody’s the reverse. Everybody’s making decisions about, like, “What am I going to do at 25? I better do that. . . .” In years, they’re impatient and making dumb decisions, and then in days, they’re watching fucking Netflix. They’re super worried about 25 when they’re 22, yet they’re drinking every Thursday night at 7 p.m. They’re playing Madden. They’re fucking watching House of Cards. They’re spending four and a half hours on their Instagram feed every single day.

This is super important.

Everybody’s impatient at a macro, and just so patient at a micro, wasting your days worrying about years. I’m not worried about my years, because I’m squeezing the fuck out of my seconds, let alone my days. It’s going to work out.”

— Gary Vaynerchuk is a serial entrepreneur and the CEO and co-founder of VaynerMedia, a full-service digital agency servicing Fortune 500 clients.

Remember: A tennis ball, a circle, and the number 30,000

“If I had a cheat sheet I could give myself at 22, it would have three things on it: a tennis ball, a circle, and the number 30,000.

The tennis ball is about finding something that you can become obsessed with, like my childhood dog who would go crazy whenever anyone threw a ball for her. The most successful people I know are all obsessed with solving a problem that really matters to them.

The circle refers to the idea that you’re the average of your five closest friends. Make sure to put yourself in an environment that pulls the best out of you.

And the last is the number 30,000. When I was 24, I came across a website that says most people live for about 30,000 days — and I was shocked to find that I was already 8,000 days down. So you have to make every day count.”

— Drew Houston is CEO and co-founder of Dropbox.

Want to Win Every Day?

If so, here are 5 things to do right after you roll out of bed. It’s a checklist that will help you win the morning — so you can win your day, and your life.

Get the checklist here now!

Advice for Smart, Driven Young People from 8 of The Most Successful Mentors In The World was originally published in Thrive Global on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.