As Chief of Staff for digitalundivided, I’m focused on building an incredible culture that supports our vision of creating a world where ALL women own their work. As a Coach, I aim to help others become self-aware with the tools they need to overcome challenges. Over the last few weeks, as COVID-19 fears have become a cornerstone of daily life, I’ve had many conversations with entrepreneurs and organizations that are, rightfully, afraid of the future. People who were fully living in possibility and hope, are now consumed by fear and prepared to abandon their ambitious plan A for the safety of plan B.

I get it. Uncertainty about the world we’re living in, is real. Fear has the power to stop us, to take control of our thoughts, and to impact our actions. As leaders, we worry. “How will this impact my 2020 goals? My team? My family?” As a pillar of strength for my organization, I even find myself pausing in the middle of the day when I think about friends and family that have lost their income until further notice. Every single person is being affected by this.

And while circumstances have changed, challenges are greater, and uncertainty is more palpable than ever, it IS possible to keep going with strength and confidence. Now is the time to choose our actions, not from fear, but from a place of commitment and core values.

Our mission at digitalundivided is to use innovation to create system change by catalyzing economic growth for Black and Latinx communities through women entrepreneurs. Back in 2019, through a series of workshops and conversations, I laid the foundation for DID’s core values by working with the executive team and asking powerful questions like:

• What are we committed to?
• What key qualities drive the work that we do?
• What are the shared beliefs that connect us to our work?
• And, equally important: What characteristics are unacceptable and may distract us from the work we do?

Through these exercises, we identified qualities that would keep us grounded in the face of adversity and vulnerability. Below is a sample of the core values we’re choosing to act from, even in the face of uncertainty, chaos and confusion.

1. Cultural Competency: We relate to all people and cultures at their highest and best.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned from this pandemic, it’s just how interconnected we all are and how important it is for us to work together to make change happen. We have to see every person we interact with at their highest and best. This means that we believe in the magic of each person and we trust that they’re capable of great things. This also means we’re committed to creating an inclusive environment where every person matters, and we make no pre-judgments based on your background.

We’re practicing this by supporting Black and Latinx women founders from all stages. We’re committed to supporting them with emergency funding initiatives that help both our internal DID alumni community (women of color founders who have graduated from our programs) as well as our external community of Black & Latinx female founders (like with the Doonie Fund). Regardless of your background or level, we’re here to help.

2. Curiosity: We believe that curiosity drives innovation, collaboration, and growth.

Curiosity is the most consistent quality among successful companies in our portfolio, especially those who go on to build high growth tech startups. It makes sense.

Curiosity allows you to look at problems as opportunities. Rather than accepting things as they are, look at the issues, explore them, and ask questions. The best solutions come from working together, letting go of assumptions or judgments, and asking the right questions.

We’re practicing this through our commitment to data, research and evaluation. As we looked for ways to best support founders during the crisis, it was not only important to provide them with funds, but to also ask questions, gather data, and understand the impact on their businesses. You can read more about our findings here in this post about COVID-19’s Impact on Women of Color Entrepreneurs.

3. Ownership: We fully own our choices, our consequences, and our future.

We believe in creating the future, not falling victim to it. This means that we’re responsible for our choices, and the consequences. At a time like this, it may feel like the future is out of our control, but we all play a part in how this will go. We can all take action to come out of this stronger.

Our team at DID is practicing this by doing our part, staying home, and working remotely. We’re also actively looking for ways to make all digitalundivided programming for Black & Latinx women founders virtual, so we can continue to support them during this time.

4. Integrity: We model leadership by practicing integrity in our thoughts, our words, and our actions.

As leaders, we strive to show up consistently despite the changes or circumstances we’re faced with. We continue to be considerate with everyone we interact with. Right now, integrity requires a high level of vulnerability and honesty. We want our team, partners, friends, and founders to have a safe space to embrace the new “normal”, share how they feel and ask for help when they need it. One way we’re practicing integrity is by empowering our staff to use our “daily stand-up” to not only check-in, but also to feel supported and connected to the greater team (and their families).

We share these values with you, our greater community, to reinforce our commitment to you and to inspire confidence. Take the time to pause and revisit your thoughts and actions from a place of love and commitment today.

Even during this time of chaos, there’s a case for core values. Let’s take care of ourselves, so we can keep changing the world.

The Case For Core Values, Even During Chaos was originally published in digitalundivided on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I went up in front of the room and talked about all the goals I had for the year: money, success, recognition, etc. I thought I nailed it. They asked me to leave the program — ‘When you’re ready to open up, come back’. So I came back and slowly started the process of opening up — slowly, week by week. I learned what to say from an honest place. I learned to say what I felt from my heart. I slowly started letting my guard down with friends, family, clients, and my business partner.

I’m clear now to how much I was carrying with me that day. A year ago, I could not be with people’s feelings. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t even stand my own feelings. We’re talking about a girl who is first-generation, grew up in the hood, worked her way up — ivy league, tech, banking, startups, etc. I thought feelings got in the way of progress — that was my motto. So, I repressed them. I was tough. No one could get through me.

A year later, I feel all the feelings. I know exactly what’s going on every day and I express it and it’s great. Opening up has allowed me to build an incredible business with Chris. It’s allowed me to quit my job, take risks, create communities, and make meaningful change. Six months into the program, I spoke at what was the most important event of my career at Facebook. The audience cried and laughed. The room was filled with energy. I never would have been able to open people up like that if I wasn’t open myself.

I never would have been able to ask for support, tell people I loved them, or get in a relationship. I never would have been able to take weekends off! I never would have been able to lead an incredible group of founders and executives to fully own who they are — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and love themselves. My clients make changes in the world every day and I am honored to be a part of it.

To my first client ever: thank you for your trust in me. Meeting you in that airplane to LA was it. You made me believe in myself. You made me believe that I could do this. Six months later, I can’t even believe that we are here. The progress — the commitment — the joy that you have is incredible.

To my business partner, Chris Donohoe: I never thought I could ever love anyone so much and know so much about them. I look back and think we are crazy. How do two co-founders step into something like this? How do they open up at this level and still love each other in the end? You are it. You are my partner, through and through, forever. I love you!

To my family that dealt with all of me: I love you. Thank you for accepting me as I am and supporting every crazy adventure I come up with.

To my friends: It’s a new me, ya’ll! You can finally call me and I will be compassionate. LOL.

And to the 24 coaches that I spent a year with: I love you endlessly. Thank you for opening me up to myself.

Great leadership — great lives — are open, honest, bold, and FULL OF HEART — and that’s what we’re committed to at uncommonly. Life is short. Live while you can. Love while you can. Give fully and receive all the gratitude. This is not meant to be a feeling-less life. This life is meant to be FELT — the good, the bad, and the ugly, and GREAT!

I am so excited to share the first interview of our new video series: Conversations with Uncommon Leaders.

When Chris Donohoe and I started uncommonly, we talked about creating a company that totally challenged what leadership looked like. We dreamt of creating a space where people could show up and lead as they are. A place where people could realize that all of the things that made them ‘weird’ or ‘strange’ or ‘quirky’ are actually the things that will make them wildly successful. It’s only right that the first interview we’re releasing is with a person that fully embodies our vision of uncommon leadership: Bryanda Law.

Bryanda Law is a total boss and ‘Nerdy Black Girl’. Her essence is light, fun, inclusion, and drive. We met in 2017 when we both participated in the same tech incubator at digitalundivided. At 24 years old, she created her first tech startup, Quirktastic: a community for quirky people of color who are into anime, comic books, or e-sports. Since starting her company in 2017, she’s grown her community to over 180,000 people, released a friendship app, and is now hosting a conference in Durham, North Carolina called the ‘Quirkcon’.

We sat down to talk all about uncommon leadership. Check out our video! If you prefer to read about the interview, we’ve outlined it below.

“It was also to show that people can be multifaceted. You can like anime. You can also like trap music and you can find people that have similar interests.”

Valeska: “What was it like for you growing up, what were the challenges, and why were you inspired to create this community?”

Bryanda: “I grew up in the 2000s — back then anime wasn’t really the cool thing to like, especially growing up black in the south. Most people were into hip hop and things like that. But at that age, I was the one that was watching anime. When I was in high school, I remember thinking ‘Man, I wish there was someone I could talk to about these new episodes with or a friend to go to Comicon’ and then, as I grew up and became an adult and still had these cool interests, and I was like ‘Wow, ten years have gone by and I still don’t have a friend to go to Comicon with or talk anime with.’

I started off just building the community. It started out as a media company — I just to see who was out there and who would gravitate to the content. Once I found the community, a lot of people were people of color and LGBT and so I was like ‘Ok, we’re out here.’ Let’s harness this energy and see what we can do with it. We were able to grow the community to about 180,000 people. My younger self would have been shocked to know that there were that many people who were into it.

Moving forward, we decided to do the friendship app just to help other people not feel alone whenever they go to these events or have other nerdy interests. It was also to show that people can be multifaceted. You can like anime. You can also like trap music and you can find people that have similar interests.”

“We channeled our pain into something that is now paying our bills.”

Valeska: “I remember Bree telling me about how she was bullied when she was younger. And it translates so clearly into the work you’re doing. Here you are, building an app for friendship, telling people ‘You’re not alone’ and it stems from that feeling of being alone. It’s incredible how you were able to take something that impacted you and how you were able to then create this incredible community to bring people together. I think it speaks a lot to your character in that you care so much about people. You care, you’re passionate, you’re loving. You know?”

Bryanda: “Yea, I joke all the time with my team because we were all the nerdy people of color or the nerdy gay kids, and we’re always like ‘We channeled our pain into something that is now paying our bills.’ It’s so cool when you can do something like that. It’s like ‘You used to pick on us, that’s cool. We’re not bitter about it anymore. We’re just gonna turn that into a check.”

Valeska: “Amen, ya’ll. Yas! And guess who’s getting paid? Bryanda Law, ok? [insert praise hands emoji]”

“No one can really argue with the facts. I’ve grown this business to the size that it is. I deliver and I deliver on time. I go above and beyond, so from that no one can really say anything.”

Valeska: “What is it like for you going out there, talking to investors, and maybe feeling like … because we do look young or we don’t look like the typical Silicon Valley entrepreneur… how do you deal with that and how do you overcome it?”

Bryanda: “I always wanted to move to California. I was super excited. I found out that I got into the Wefunder XX Fund, so they funded six women to get free housing and gave us some funding. At first I was like ‘Oh my goodness, the dream is coming true! I’m moving to San Francisco. Like, I’m finally doing it!’ and I get there and my first week there I was so depressed. I was so sad. I was in one of the richest neighborhoods in San Francisco and nobody looked like me, which I didn’t think would bother me because I went to a majority white school and I’m here for all types of diversity. So, I didn’t think it would bother me, but it did. I think what I had to do was kind of remember that I belonged there. I talked about it with the other women that were in the program and told them ‘this is an experience for me.’ I allowed myself to feel those feelings, but then I had to remember why I was doing it and keep pushing forward.

Even with that, people do underestimate me. As you said, I do look younger. So, whenever I walk into a room people are like ‘Oh, where is the founder of Quirktastic?’ I get underestimated but I kind of use that to my advantage. I’m walking in and the expectation is low so anything I do from here is going to be impressive and I make sure to blow it out the park. No one can really argue with the facts. I’ve grown this business to the size that it is. I deliver and I deliver on time. I go above and beyond, so from that no one can really say anything.”

“It’s something that I never would have thought that I needed. I grew up in a household where mental health wasn’t really a priority and if you tried to prioritize it, you were kind of seen as being weak so it wasn’t something that I really put on the top.”

Valeska: “How do you practice self-care? How do you try to create a balanced life for yourself in the midst of all the craziness?”

Bryanda: “Yea, well you know that I struggle with this. Thankfully, I’ve been able to call you and talk to you. I will say having an executive coach does work wonders. And, it’s something that I never would have thought that I needed. I grew up in a household where mental health wasn’t really a priority and if you tried to prioritize it, you were kind of seen as being weak so it wasn’t something that I really put on the top. I was like ‘I can just keep pushing through this, I can just keep working and once I reach this certain level of success, once my bank account looks like this, then all of my problems will go away.’ Then I started making more money and once you start making more money, more bills come. And then family members come and think that you’re making more money than you’re actually making, and then their bills try to come at you, and then you’re just dodging them like ‘Wait a minute! I can’t afford this! I can barely afford my lifestyle!”

So, it’s really good to first allow yourself to acknowledge the struggle that you’re having. I think that’s the first step. There was a day that Valeska called me and I was like ‘I can’t get out of bed today.’ and she was basically like, ‘Are you prioritizing yourself? When was the last time that you took a break?’ and I think you gave me the example of Mark Zuckerberg — like ‘he has a whole team that is just making sure that he’s staying alive. He prioritizes himself because he’s one of the most important assets to Facebook. You are your company’s most valuable asset and I need you to remember that and give yourself the time.’ So, ever since you said that, I’ve been working on it and it’s definitely something I need to work on more. But, I do have that in the back of my mind whenever there is a day where I’m like ‘I just can’t do this’.”

“Embrace your quirky self. Don’t feel like you have to be ‘Devil wears Prada’. You can just walk into a room and chat it up about anime and as long as you’re getting the work done, that’s all that matters.”

Valeska: “What does leadership mean to you and how do you embody leadership?”

Bryanda: “Wow, that’s a question! I would say my idea of leadership has changed. In the beginning, it was like ‘you have to do it all, you have to be everything for the company and make sure everything is done right.’ Now that I have employees, I realize: Hire really good people and get out of the their way. Trust the choices that you made, trust that they have the vision and keep moving forward.

With that, I think also leading by example and being a whole person. That is very important. I think another thing is just embracing yourself. I know before I was just like ‘Oh, leaders look like this.’ Especially black women leaders. They have to be very strong. You’re supposed to be the strong black woman and talk very directly. Be assertive. You should be able to walk into a room and have people fear you. But now, I’m ok walking into a room with my hair looking the way that I want and speaking with the soft voice that I have and knowing that people will listen to me because I know what I’m saying. So, just embracing your quirky self, not feeling like you have to be ‘Devil wears Prada’. Like you can just walk into a room and chat it up about anime and as long as you’re getting the work done, that’s all that matters.”

How to support Bryanda:

Bryanda: “If you’re interested in coming to Quirkcon, you can definitely buy those tickets at quirkcon.com. Other than that, we are fundraising right now, so if you’re interested in investing as an angel investor or if you know anyone that would be interested in investing in Quirktastic, definitely send them my way. My name is Bryanda Law, Quirktastic. You can find us on the internet everywhere.”

website: Quirkcon.com

Instagram: @Quirktastic

Twitter: @Bryanda_co