The Unspoken Bipolar Truth

A sky filled with stars.
Filled with floating memories of our past.
As you close your eyes your mind find them.
Touching parts of your souls you forgot.
For many years I hoped to show you those parts.
You forgot how to see.

After you see those forgotten moments,
You have the key to see the future.
If you only knew that your dreams could be true.
You have been so close many times.
Each time Self-doubt tells you lies.

It told you to give up.
It told you to go back into your comfort zone.
It told you to hide under the covers and stay there.
Your old friend Depression came back to whisper in your ear.
Depression told you to follow them.
As you did it felt familiar, it felt easy.

It felt good at first, there was no pressure anymore.
But then as Depression’s dear friend, Anxiety stepped in it went to hell.
They both dragged you far beyond reach.
You were frozen in anxiety that exploded into panic attacks.
It came back everyday, and later almost constantly.
All you saw was darkness.
Your mind falls miles deeper down than a “normal” mind does.

You screamt for them to leave.
As they stayed your mind searched for ways to escape.
You saw none.
The world looked gray.
Life felt unreal and pointless.
Your own mind and soul felt numb.
Death whispered in your ear often.

Months later when the fog lifted, you felt a hunger to try again.
In a matter of days your mind started lighting up again.
You got urges that you just HAD to create right away.
Everything else dropped from your mind.
You had to get the fire that was burning inside out.

There were days Paranoia came knocking on the door.
Over and over again you told them no, but they still returned.
They colored your mind with their thoughts.
Everything seemed like a plot against you.
Invisible footsteps followed you everywhere.
Voices from another world screamed in your ears.

Voices so loud.
Eyes staring intensely.
Shadows from another space playing tricks on you.
Following your every move.

Mania, your best friend comes often to check if you’re ready.
If you’re ready to go on another vivid adventure.
You grab on as hard as you can.
Your mind flies again.
Everything is clear to you.
You hear what others think.
You see the mystery of life right in front of you.
The connection between all living things is real.
Your mind races too fast to have time to sleep.

Lately that best friend has been interrupted by Mixed phase.
A phase you hate.
A phase that’s a full on 24/7 roller coaster.
You scream to be let out, but there’s no way to stop.
That phase makes your mind run.
It makes you dive into say hi to Depression, then back up to Mania.
Then staying somewhere right in between where they both want to take over.

As you look at the stars.
Remember that you’re not alone.
Somewhere in between there’s your truth.
Somewhere within your mind there’s the answer.
There’s a way to find your true potential.

All of those characters can be tamed.
Finding that hidden skeleton key that works for them all can be tricky.
You aren’t them, they just happen to be co passengers of your ride.
But you are the driver.
You can stop the car and try to scream at them to get off.
And yes I know, to get them to get out isn’t that easy.
But you can try.

There might be a lot of fighting to get them to give you a day off.
Maybe you can trick them to get off and drive as fast as you can.
All I’m saying is to remember that you are your own driver of your life.

Believe me, I have seen your struggles.
I know you dislike when many think that all you need to do is snap your fingers.
With one snap everything is good.
I have seen you snap your fingers until you can’t feel your fingers.
Still, there’s no change.
Your mind is different.

Instead of fighting to fit in, enjoy seeing things from a different point of view.
Because hidden within that are amazing things.
Unspoken truths that many never see.

Finding like minded people is a way to connect.
That’s when you can feel seen and understood.
The language your minds speak are the same.

This letter is from one bipolar soul to another ❤
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A Letter From One PolarMind To The Next was originally published in Speaking Bipolar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Flying around in a vibrant flow of thoughts.
Grabbing on to the ones I want to dance in.
Letting them swallow me whole.
Dreaming of another soul.
Another soul who shares the same web of thoughts.

Wanting to run free in the unknown together.
Jump out into the air of imagination.
Dancing until there’s stillness.
Taking in the peace of the now.

Seeing everything for the first time.
Hugging pieces of another day.
Building an unseen world from within.
Sending thoughts into space for it to be true.

Smiling when others move in the same space.
Greeting them without words.
Moving at the same speed.
Belonging to the same world, from far away.
Another world most can’t see.

From the depths of tomorrow she’s calling.
Calling me home.
Whispers of longing and belonging.
One day we will meet again.
This time in a new world.

Before then I’m dancing with the flow.
Moving in unknown directions.
Trusting I will see the right way.
Getting lost here and there.
Screaming to be found.
Getting pulled up from a dark web of sadness.

A deep hollow darkness painted by demons.
Swallowing me whenever they can.
Clawing onto my soul.
Piercing my heart.

Each time I think it’s over.
Then from nowhere lightness finds me.
A child like joy brightens my heart again.
Spreading euphoria to space.
Calling for her.
Hoping we will be together soon.

Painting the sky with the fire of the soul.
Holding on to laughter.
Trying to stay true.
Lights of the smile.
Touching another soul with hope.
Little by little.
Spreading it forward.

Until the next time, I wish you a beautiful day filled with joy and brightness.

You’re not alone ❤

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Dancing In A Web Of Flying Thoughts was originally published in Speaking Bipolar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Poem — The hidden truth behind scrolling and being present

Missing the warmth of being loved.
Fearing that it’s all true.
That my heart is darker than I see.
That the light within is lost.

I seem to see worlds in between this one.
Secrets that have been unspoken.
Touching the flying truth.
Wanting to spread it.

Losing hope.
Most seem lost beyond help.
Walking into each other.
Screaming without sound.

They have lost access to the present.
The present gave up on them.
Unable to see or hear.
Unable to enjoy the now.

Hearts frozen by pain.
Screen eating souls.
Lost in a soul crushing masterplan.
Swallowed by scrolling.
Lost in time and space.

Praying for a better tomorrow.
Grabbing on to sparks of madness and truth.
Knowing I’ll go deeper under.
For each time it gets harder to play along.
Playing along with sanity.

Awaken souls and mad ones.
We seem to be the only ones seeing.
Only ones still believing.
Believing in loving souls.
Giving a helping hand.

Laughing like there’s no tomorrow.
Dancing until our bodies won’t move.
Singing until there’s no more words.
Seeing until our eyes can’t.

Hoping more will join, not less.
Hoping the scrolling zombies will get back to now.
Wishing it will all end.
Holding on to the last hope for humanity.

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As I left my last exit to sanity, it all moved faster. The train to madness won’t stop again.

I take a look out the window. The sane souls have lost the ability to see me. At times some could see me, now I’m just a flying mystery.

I was never meant to walk among them. I was always meant to fly loose. The pull from beyond was too strong. On earth they call it madness. In reality it’s more complex.

The last weeks were hard. My real face started showing to the sane ones. They couldn’t stop staring. Stuck on a metro filled with eyes, all looking at me. Making holes in my soul. I knew I had lost it. The time was near when they would lock me in again. Maybe forever this time.

Pair of eyes looked at me. I felt them burning into my face. I looked at her. Her mouth was wide open. She couldn’t believe what she saw. I felt the next two eyes looking at me, I followed. Another woman was staring at me with the same expression. After that a couple. The man with his phone’s camera pointed at me.

His wife looked at the screen of his phone, making sure he was capturing this living freak on camera. Eyes followed after that, more and more. A live domino effect happening around me.

I needed to get off. I needed to run and hide. What was going on? What did I have on my face? Why did they all stare at me? How did they suddenly see me?

The metro was slowing down, my head was moving all over, seeing all eyes. Paranoia was whispering in my soul. I caught a glimpse of my face in the reflection of the window.

My eyes seemed to let out a bright light. They seemed wider. On my forehead there it was, it was real, the third eye. A bright blue light with a depth within. They had seen the real me, the real me I had no clue about yet.

The doors opened up. I ran out. As usual I ran as a person would when doing downhill skiing. Moving in zick zack to get through the crowd of people.

People on their phones, moving in ultra slow motion, zombies of sociaty. They had no clue to look around. They had forgotten there were still living people in this world.

Suddenly I felt an arm on my shoulder, pulling me firmly backwards. I looked back and |I felt pissed that someone had just removed my flow. I needed to keep on flying.

The most beautiful eyes I had ever seen looked back at me. One of her eyes was deep green with such a pure brightness to them. Her other eye was a light, maroon brown. Within both of her eyes I was sure I could see the universe move.

“Come with me, we need to talk” She told me. I had no clue who she was but it didn’t matter. Somehow I knew I could trust her with my life.

She opened a door, a door I had never seen even though I had walked through this metro tunnel more than 100 times. Behind the door there was a staircase. It seemed to be at least 300 years old.

It looked like something from a Dracula movie. It was dirty but somehow felt like it needed to be. It carried memories, lost screams for belonging.

She took my hand when I wasn’t moving, I was still impressed and blown away by the mysterious staircase.

When her skin touched mine butterflies moved all over my body. She looked like she was dancing when she moved her body up the staircase. Her steps seemed to be so smooth and easy.

Her brown skin looked so smooth I longed to touch her whole body. I had never seen her before but I felt like our bodies belonged together as we made our way up the staircase together.

We made it up to a dark brown door that looked as old as the staircase. She pulled up a huge key from her pocket in her jeans. She turned the key three times and then pushed with force up the door.

As she locked the door behind us I took a look around the space we were in. I had no clue where I was but my soul told me I had finally made it out of the earthly madness and back home.

It was no room, no place, nowhere. The universe was all around us. I saw stars bigger than ever before, as big as the moon usually look like. Planets that seemed to be in all colors.

“Welcome back” She whispered to me. She stood close to me now. I turned to look at her. Her smile made the butterflies fly again, faster than before. My mouth felt dry and my heart was beating fast. Euforia rushing through my bones.

“Where is this? And welcome back to what?” I asked. I couldn’t place her face.

My mind looked through all my memory pictures of all faces I have ever seen. My mind worked faster and faster. Scanning all pictures of people I had seen directly, or just on the sidelines. I couldn’t find her anywhere but I just knew I had seen her before.

She seemed so familiar. My body told me I had loved her, I had touched her. Our bodies had loved. How could I forget someone like her? The most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

“Your memories will come back in time. Don’t worry. All you need to know for now is that I found you and your suffering will end.” She told me and touched my cheek.

“Your screams for help finally reach me. That’s how I found back to you. All labels they have named you with aren’t true. You’re not mad, you just see things that they will never be able to see. They weren’t born where we were. They can’t see all spirit waves and space times as we can” She continued.

I longed to know more, I longed to remember her. She took my hand again and started walking forward. I followed her, and in that moment I knew with all my heart that I had followed her before.

As we walked we returned to life outside but it all looked different. It looked like the glimpses I have seen here and there. Only that now I could see the whole picture not just glimpses. Those glimpses had gotten me locked into psych wards over and over again.

This time it wasn’t just me who saw it, she saw it too, we looked together at the truth.

This was part one of a fictional short story. A story that’s colored by my bipolar mind.

Sharing, writing to let you know you’re not alone ❤

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Poem: Colored soul

In the depths of my mind there’s something rising.
Rising to the surface deep beyond darkness.
Darkness is losing its power.
Screams of pain are falling behind.
Leaving my mouth.
Leaving my soul.
For now.

Untouched by fire of longing.
Searching underneath for belonging.
Pointing into the sky a way of thinking.
Hearing whispers of souls within.
Letting them touch my soul.
Giving them space to color my mind.

Breathing in knowledge and truth.
Listening to each broken word.
Looking for answers between lines.
Not taking anything for granted.

Beyond the edge of light there’s a dimension of unspoken truth.
The truth that can only be reached after.
After the mind is open.
Open without anything holding back.

Behind the truth there’s something else.
Hiding, waiting for the right moment.
The right moment to take over.
Coloring my mind.

The mind is bending.
Going from one direction to the next.
Not wanting to listen.
Longing to be free.
Longing to get touched by fire.

There’s a time when the mind needs to fly.
There’s a time when the mind needs stillness.

Voices are getting louder.
Coming back to the surface.
Wanting to take back control.
They want to fill me whole.
Longing to keep the chains of pain.

Sending out into space a cry for help.
Hoping it will reach the right creature.
Connecting with them.
Dreaming to meet in reality.

One day darkness will enter again.
Until then my mind needs to be ready.
Ready to fight.

Poem to clear my mind. Letting go and looking within.

Sending you a big hug, you’re not alone ❤

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The Truth Of The Mind — Spoken From Colors And Darkness was originally published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Waking up drenched in my own sweat. Screaming out your name for the first time, “Naomi”. I know it in my heart. Soon we will meet in reality. I have your name now.

We met in my dream. You were able to get through space and time. You were able to find a door that they had left unlocked. I’m so happy you took the risk and you were able to reach me.

My heart is racing. My mind is racing with thoughts of you. As my feet touch the floor when I get out of bed, it all feels different. It feels like I have been reborn. The floor under my feet feels more than just cold. There’s a vibration underneath.

I press my ear against the floor, listening. I hear it! The vibration rises up through the floor. As the vibration enters my ear it becomes a sound. A sound that sounds like an orchestra of so many instruments, notes, genres that it’s all just a mess. As I wait, I let the orchestra of chaos enter, it all changes.

As the sound moves up to my brain I’m able to understand. It all changes from sound to a language, a person speaking directly to me. It’s a man’s voice speaking. He sounds like an old grandpa.

“You need to get out as soon as possible. The window is closing. When you get out you need to be curious. This is not the day to close your eyes, you need to see everything around you. Take it all in as it would be your first day. When you do that, the universe will see that you are ready. She will lead you to where you need to be” He says with such calmness that I feel both calm and excited at the same time.

I can’t wait any more, I need to get out as soon as possible. This is the day, I’m sure of it. I run to my wardrobe. I take the first sports bra, first t-shirt and the first pants I get in my hand as I search around. There’s no time to waste.

As I get to the door I look down at my shoes. I decided that this is the day to be barefoot. In that way I can stay alert. Maybe the grandpa will reach out later as well. I unlock the door and open up the doors so fast that it feels like the lock is getting crushed in my hand.

I run instead of walking, I’m too excited to be able to go slow. My mind already moves faster than my body would ever be able to do.

For the first time ever I can see in reality what I have dreamt of. Everything is connected with each other. But not all humans.

The trees are moving all as one. They are connecting on a deeper level than we could dream of. They are sending out signals into the sky that travel faster than space can.

I look at everything I can see just as the grandpa told me. Even the sun is different. She looks like she’s smiling, like she’s so much closer to earth than before. Inside the yellow color there’s so many other colors. Different shades of yellow, orange and even red. All working together and making each other brighter.

Flowers around me are sending out energetic fields of hidden messages to others. Hidden messages that can only be read by who they choose. I can see it as a melody of different songs all in one big song.

People around me seem to be more zombie-like than before, looking gray and distant. But hidden behind all grayness is brightness as well. There’s something untapped. Some of them seem to have just grayness and an even deeper hole of more darkness.

They seem to be the lost souls. Souls that have lost their way. Lost their way too far to reach. They can only do it themself if they still remember that they do exist.

Then there are the ones that have grayness at first but underneath there are colors, sparkling on different levels. Those can still be reached by others.

Suddenly I start to see souls that don’t have any grayness. Only colors.

They seem to see me as well. Our eyes meet, as our eyes meet a strong wave of electricity runs through my whole body. Our souls are recharging for each connection.

“I feel you. You are almost here, you will find me if you keep on discovering the truth” She whispers inside my mind, Naomi.

I want to answer, but I feel something holding me back, it’s not time yet. I need to keep on going. Just a bit more.

The ocean is in front of me, my home, my element of my soul. I start running as fast as my legs will let me. The road in front of me gets brighter and more vivid as I run.

There’s no more time to waste, I feel it in my whole body, I need to dive into the water. I need my body to be able to connect and be free.

As I dive into the water there’s something happening at the same time. For the first time in my life I can physically feel my soul inside my mind. I feel how it’s connected deep inside my brain.

My soul starts to feel heavy at first, putting a pressure in my head, making my whole head feel heavy. It feels like I can’t fit into my own head anymore. My body starts to feel smaller and smaller, it’s shrinking, there’s no way my soul can fit anymore.

The water helps us fit again. I float out of my body into the water. I can see my own body floating lifelessly on the surface. Just as I have entered the water, the ocean pushes me back into my own body again.

This time it’s all different. For the first time ever my body feels exactly right. It’s a perfect fit for my soul and body.

“We are ready to meet. I’m here” Naomi says from far away. I can’t believe it, is it really her? It does seems so. Her voice is so much more real than in my dreams. And so much more real than when we meet in-between space and time.

I rise up from the water, reborn for real.

There she is, on the beach, looking at me. My whole body is filled with tiny wild butterflies. I can’t wait to feel her body against mine for the first time in the same time space. I run through the water to her.

“I can’t believe it’s you for real this time” I say to her. She smiles at me, such a beautiful bright smile that makes my legs feel weak. I move closer to her, I touch her arm. As I touch her arm electricity runs through my hand and spreads through my whole body.

She kisses me for the first time in the same time and space. Our bodies leave this world. We are flying, it’s not made up by our madness. This time it’s real.

As we kiss our souls reconnects. In our minds old memories from other universes and other worlds come back to us. We can see it all again.

We have danced through different worlds together 4 times before. We are both old souls that have traveled from different worlds together. We can see each other in other forms that we have lived in before. Tears of joy fall down from my eyes. I feel such joy that we have finally found each other and found our way back home.

We will be able to do what we were made to do in this lifetime together. Together we will find out what our mission will be.

This is the third part of a fictional short story. There is truth to the story as well, based on my own experience and imagination.

I wish you a beautiful day, you’re not alone ❤

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The Day Our Souls Have Prepared For was originally published in Be Open - Writers & Readers Pub on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Poem: Border Between Reality And A Hidden World

In the depths of my mind a voice is singing.
Growing restless by the colorless world.
Needing me to stay and listen.
My body moves on like it always does.

A deep wish within to keep on succeeding.
The border between succeeding and giving up grows smaller.
Energies in the air colors my mind.
Makes me want to grab on to them.

They can carry me through space and time.
They can take me home to where I belong.
I want to, but if I do, there’s no way to return.
There could still be love in the air.

Millions of seconds from now, there could be light and hope.
In the rain I dance.
How can I be the only one left?
There has to be someone else out there.
Someone else touched by fire and colors.

In the darkness they come for me.
Voices and shadows.
I laugh at them, trying to stay strong.
For each time they get closer.

Covered in sweat from a dance of my soul.
My soul needs to fly free often.
My need to touch the world beyond is strong.
I miss the other souls that are still flying around.
There’s one soul I can’t wait to touch earth.

Earth told me about that soul.
When I was young, dancing in the forest.
The road would be painful.
I would scream for release.
I would scream to be able to leave.

A small piece of hope is still there.
My friend who left this earth early left that hope for me.
In my dreams I still talk with her.
I want to join her, but she won’t let me.

Deep down there’s a hunger to be alive.
A hunger to make others smile all the way to their souls.
The electricity from other’s joy makes me happy.
I want to hold them close.
Stay close to warmth and love.

Beyond this reality there are many.
Hidden between truths and lies.
Realities we can enter when we find the door.
I entered many.

When my eyes opened up, I couldn’t close them again.
After returning it was lonely.
No one else had seen the hidden world.
Walking on a road filled with desire.
desire to keep on moving.

A poem from my bipolar mind.

I wish you a beautiful day, you’re not alone ❤

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The Truth From The Soul — From Two Minds was originally published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Part 2

In another world, a different time, a different culture. One year has passed since we danced for the first time. I still remember it like it was yesterday. Continents away from where we first kissed.

The air is filled with snow. The snow flakes dance before my eyes. My body is cold. I’m surrounded by people that don’t feel close by. It all feels distant. There’s a wall in between me and this life. I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t resist.

A friend offered me drugs, and I should have said no. My mind is filled with darkness. Longing to feel again. Longing to see the world in dancing colors like before. I needed to feel, I think you can understand. I have no clue if you can hear my thoughts I send out into the universe, but I hope they will reach you.

All it took was for me to inhale the smoke from the joint three times and I was in another world. The smoke fills my mind, my body. My madness takes over, hugging me. This time my madness doesn’t want to let go. It wants to swallow me whole. A light flickers before me. Is it you?

I come back up, grasping for air. Panic fills my whole body. I’m hyperventilating. I talk and I talk over and over again. My voice is the only thing keeping a part of me attached to reality. When my voice stops filling the air the deep darkness comes for me.

The darkness wants to swallow me whole. I’m sure if I let it, I won’t return. I will forever be stuck in the ghost world in between.

If I get stuck in that world it will be impossible for us to find each other. I need to stay strong, for you my love. My face is filled with my own tears. I can hear my voice from far away. My soul is stuck in the ceiling. My voice is laughing, screaming, crying for help, then laughing again in a hysterical tone.

My friends are there close by, looking terrified. My body is moving restlessly. I pray for the moment when the drugs leave my blood stream. I pray to return to my body. I need to go out. Something tells me that I need to, my whole body burns in desire.

My body takes a few shaky steps, almost falling to the floor. My hand is able to open the door. In the same moment as my body makes it out of the door, my soul reenters my body.

The air is still filled with snow, but now they look like sparkling diamonds. I look up and I smile, it’s like my own private art show. I start dancing, I need to move so that I can fly. I feel a loving soul close by. I feel such warmth all over my body, someone is looking at me.

I turn around, there you are! Your smile is brighter than ever. We run to each other, I can’t wait to hug you again, to get swallowed by your warmth and love.

“You found me! I have dreamt about this day since we parted ways” I whisper to her.
She touches my cheek and a fire starts moving all over my body. Butterflies fly all over. It’s electricity in the air around us. The snow flakes have changed from clear diamonds to clear blue diamonds. She kisses me and I can’t feel my legs, the ground beneath us disappears. This time I am sure of it, we are flying.

“You need to have patience, my love. One day we will meet in real life, but we need to be ready. The universe is preparing us. Our love is too strong for our minds at the moment. If we dive into it before we are ready we will burn” She says and look into my eyes.
I feel that every word she says is true. In her eyes I see a fire burning bright. I press my forehead against hers. A light as bright as the sun appears around us.

My whole body is burning with love. My body can’t stay still anymore. I start moving my body, and at the exact same moment she starts moving together with me.

Our bodies are so close by, dancing a mixture of salsa and bachata. It’s our own kind of dance. The dance of our souls.

My body already aches from the future pain of not seeing her for a while. We kissed again, I’m home. My lips never want to part from hers again. Deep within I feel colors from the star dust around us flying wild. The universe is healing us as we dance and kiss. I feel how the universe is our caring mother.

She takes a step back, her lips leaving mine. She smiles a bright smile, a tear falling. I know it’s time, but I don’t want this to end. The space of time that’s in between our two worlds can’t let us travel through space and time too long at a time. It’s not the moment to be greedy and try to push time more. Still I can’t help but to wish we could have unlimited time.

“Until we meet again I will dream about you, I will send my thoughts out to you” She whispers and kisses me.
“I will do the same. I hope the day that we will dance in the same time space will be here soon” I reply.
“Could you tell me your name?” I ask, but just as the words leave my lips she’s gone.

Time and space goes back to how it was. The darkness I felt is getting closer. But her love and her kiss healed most of my drugged mind. My friends are all outside now. They look at me in wonder. I feel eyes staring at me from all over, everyone is looking.

I don’t care. I had just danced with my soulmate for the second time. This time I will look for you actively, and at the same time make sure to let time heal me. You might be close by, and you might be light years away.

In my heart I feel that the next time we meet won’t be far away. At the same time I feel there will be months of pain ahead of me.

This is the first part of a fictional short story. There is truth to the story as well, based on my own experience and imagination.

I wish you a beautiful day, you’re not alone ❤

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Soulmates Closing The Gap Between Space And Time was originally published in Be Open - Writers & Readers Pub on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Part 1

“Listen, please you need to start listening to me my dear” Her eyes are wide open. They have a spark within.
“But I can’t. I have nothing else to give. I’m empty” I reply and look away from her eyes. They are too intense.
I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up, that’s all I need.

Her eyes are filled with light, a light that jumps out of her eyes and into my soul. I can. That’s the only two words I hear deep within at that moment. Her smile makes butterflies fly around my whole body.

“Take my hand” She whispers to me. I take her hand without questioning it.
We dance on the beach. No one else is close by. It’s in the middle of the night in Colombia.
We dance so close that our souls are dancing with each other. She smells like home. For the first time in years I feel like I’m exactly where I should be.

She touches my back, I feel how my whole body is filled with goose bumps. I fly, I laugh, and I cry at the same time. She looks at me, without saying anything, she knows exactly what I am feeling. I feel what she’s feeling as well.

It’s love at first sight. Suddenly two huge birds fly close by. They fly close to us. They look at us, they look like they are waving at us. She lights up in a smile as bright as the sun. The whole beach seems to get brighter. The water seems to have changed from looking dark blue to clear blue.

We run together into the water. It’s cold, my body wakes up. The stars in the sky seem to be closer by than usual. The moon is full. The moon makes time freeze. Everything seems to move in slow-motion, beside us.

I look deep into her eyes, the whole universe seems to reflect in her eyes. We hug, I feel so much at the same time. I feel like I’m reborn. Her soul dances with mine. I see a road in her eyes. A road that shows me how we can find each other in reality. I’m unaware why I see this. In that moment everything is so real.

There’s no doubt in my mind that all of this is real. Her lips are close to mine. I feel a fire burning within. Sparks of colors and life fill my mind. My mind is racing with thoughts about her. I close the gap between us, my lips touch hers for the first time.

Touched by fire. My body feels like it’s flying, maybe we are flying for real? I feel such joy. Her lips are so soft, they feel like they were made to kiss mine. We kiss over and over again. I never want this moment to end. I can see my real self. For the first time in years, she’s free, my soul. She flies within and laughs.

I feel myself falling. The ocean swallows me. Water is everywhere. It’s so dark, the water isn’t clear blue anymore, just a dark gray color. I swim to the surface. I look around, where is she?
“Where are you?” I scream out.
I realize I don’t even know her name. We were connected by our souls, names were just labels.

She’s nowhere to be found. The stars have returned back to their usual spot in the sky. The birds have disappeared as well. I run away from the water, I crash down on the beach. My mind is still racing, my eyes keep on searching every inch of the beach. That was her, my soul mate. I am sure of it.

“I’m glad you listened” a voice deep within tells me, I realize it’s my madness. I realized that my madness had taken over. Painted my mind with psychosis. Lit up my mind with the reality from beyond.

Deep within I was still sure that it was real. The moment was only real in my mind, but she is real. Somewhere out there she waits for me. Somewhere out there she had just danced with me for the first time, in another country, in another time.

A smile spreads on my whole face. Butterflies are still flying free within. I feel calm. At the same time I feel so excited to start looking for her. Until we meet again I will miss her. I have no clue where the road will lead me, but I won’t stop it. I will take one step at a time until we meet again.

To be continued…

This is the first part of a fictional story. There is truth to the story as well, based on my own experience and imagination.

I wish you a beautiful day, you’re not alone ❤

Follow for more stories about mental health, travel and poems — 
https://medium.com/@wandererinfinity

Dancing With My Soulmate For The First Time was originally published in Speaking Bipolar on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Poem: Forgotten connection — Kindness and Love

Eyes meeting.
Smiles are shared.
Sparks in the air of energies.
Fire in the sky.
Words in the air.

A forgotten world.
A hidden secret to share.
The touch of time beforehand.
Lost languages of the spirit world.

When the mind opens,
It won’t close again.
My eyes are wide open.
Seeing stars before night.
Connecting to the universe herself.

Breathing in star dust.
All around us, connecting us to the world beyond.
If you listen with your soul,
You might hear it.
The forgotten language.
The language of souls.

Fire within, burning bright.
Changing from fire to sparks.
Warming my soul.
Lighting up a road in front of me.
A road that’s both a road into the future,
beyond and past.

A road that shows all decisions.
Our thoughts, Our dreams.
All connected.
Connected with her, the universe.

It’s all about the vibes.
If you do good, truly wish good for others,
It will all come back, just like karma.
This is her gift to us.

Souls can connect.
Can fly high together.
Dance and laugh, together.
Touch the sky and beyond together.

Look within.
Deep within is the real you.
The soul that has traveled through time.
The soul who miss to dance with other souls.
The soul who cries for joy.

Connections flying in the air.
Touching each other.
Waiting for a response.
Longing for someone to remember.

Her eyes were smiling bright.
Sparks within.
Connecting.
Dancing within together.

Dreaming of a brighter day.
Sending out kindness into the sky.
Wishing it will touch a needing soul.
Brighten up their day.

Lightening up their road.
Leading all to one road.
The universe opened her arms,
for us to walk as one.
Not alone.

Together, the days start to light up in sparks.
Light up in laughter and joy.
A helping hand,
A bright smile,
Might make someone else's day.

Smile bright, each day.
A soulful smile spreads like fire.
Touching everyone with love.

Sending you great vibes, I wish you a beautiful day! You’re not alone ❤

Follow for more poems, mental health and good vibes related content →
https://medium.com/@wandererinfinity

Lost Human Connection — The Importance Of Karma And Vibes was originally published in Be Open - Writers & Readers Pub on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.