It’s interesting, the way relationships work in the corporate enclosure.

Any office is filled with a mix of people — grateful individuals just happy to have regularized income, snooty know-it-alls, ambitious will-throw-anyone-under-the-bus characters and the redundant duds.

This is a very blunt article, bear with me.

No matter the position, people need to remember that all these characters have to interact everyday, have to feign respect for superiors who don’t deserve it, mentor people who have no intention of growing, and so on.

It is most definitely hard to do.

But you know what helps? Remembering, that at the end of the day, no matter what character you assign to whom, we are all human beings at the end of the day. We all have the same basic needs, maybe in different magnitudes, that’s all.

These needs don’t stop at a house, financial security and a roof to live under. We all want to be loved, accepted and appreciated. In general, this is what we want in life, so of course, we would thrive in a work environment that provides these three magical methods of validation.

It’s time corporations understand this. Covid has shown us that people aren’t afraid to quit anymore. People flock towards an environment of respect and nurturing. Creating such a space is not so hard, really.

If you’re running a startup or are in a position of influence in a bigger corporation, be mindful of these:

• Ensure your top talent is aware of your admiration. Make it known that they are valued through deserving promotions, increments and company-wide appreciation mechanisms.
• Support your mediocre performers by finding ways to motivate and inspire them. Create a culture that doesn’t require people to quash one another to get to the top or feel “seen”.
• Communication was and will always be the key. Working under assumptions is dangerous. If you need clarification on a situation, get it from the relevant individuals instead of operating via hearsay. Timely communication is important.
• Don’t hire if you don’t want to inspire. Not everyone you hire is going to be a superstar. When you bring someone into your team, by default, you are taking a bet. You win some you lose some. But real leadership and tact is when you are able to turn that loss into a win.
• Actively discourage toxic behaviors at work. No backstabbing, no negative gossip, no rude or passive aggressive behavior, no creation of an environment of insecurity or fear and no undermining. Be very clear about what is and what isn’t allowed in your workplace.
• Top-down approach of change is the only way. If the people at the top go back to their old ways, then no change will stick. Just like kids look up to their parents (even ones who throw tantrums). Ensure you lead by example. Because your employees are always watching.

These are just a few ways to start, but, as time goes by, each work culture evolves and course correction will always be needed.

It’s great not knowing. Ignorance is bliss. It’s the biggest gift you can give yourself or someone you love.

Because the human condition is pretty horrible. The world is ugly, people are selfish and there’s not one person out there doing anything out of the “goodness of their heart”.

I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer, this is just reality as it is.

But in a world like this, is it so bad that a few people decide to take a step towards personal and societal betterment under the guise of unconditional philanthropy or “selflessness?”, no. We have to let these people be.

We have people like that in our own lives. Friends, partners, family members who truly believe they are changing the world (or at least, their world).

Their optimism deserves your love and support, even if you are aware enough to see where it leads. They don’t need your criticism or ‘reality check’, but just your quiet support.

It’s hard. Especially, if you have been through rough seas yourself and want to really change the outcome for someone you care about. But it won’t be received that way, you risk losing the person.

Make what you can in a difficult situation. Partake in the ignorance and experience the bliss because that too, doesn’t last long.

The world is such a funny place,

For you and me.

In it live wonderful people,

Yet some horrid sights they see.

The world beats and hates them,

And finds innovative ways to bring them down.

If they stay strong, they’re still shown a way,

To turn that smile into a frown.

The person who left you,

Without giving you closure or reason,

Or that person who you hurt so deeply,

with your untimely treason.

That child who knows no father,

Didn’t know it needed one,

That father who abandoned his family,

The injustice which can’t be undone.

A promise which was made in secrecy,

Which was meant to be kept.

The failure of which led to…

The making of an emotional wreck.

The little porcelain doll, now broken,

That a sibling gave to the other.

Was lost in the school bus during the crash,

Leaving nothing but a numb mother.

A large population of people,

Successfully masking their pain.

Although they’ve dusted themselves,

Nothing real about them remains.

No magic can save these people,

They’re already in the middle of the ring.

What can be said, about a world,

Filled with cripples, bastards and broken things?

Many times Tonna wondered about how life could have been if he was born in a rich family where there was no limit as to how many servings of rice he could eat during the day or as to how many times he could sharpen his pencil at school in order to prolong its use.

This was one of those times, when he was walking back home from the Government school which was 26kms away. This was the time for his daily dose of introspection and fantasy.

He knew what to expect once he got home. At the age of 14 he was already used to the fact that everyday Appa would be drunk in some corner of the village and Avva would be busy the whole day at work in order to feed the family. She went all the way to the closest town to work at a construction site; she left before daylight broke every day, so Tonna hardly got to spend any time with his mother.

It was getting dark as he carried his tattered gunny bag over his shoulder with the one notebook and pencil that he could call his own.

As he entered the village, he saw his father passed out under the Banyan tree at the entrance. This sight was not a surprise and so Tonna carried on towards his home. His father would wake up the next morning and show up anyway.

It was already late and Tonna had to take a roundabout from the main portion of the village and walk on uneven paths in order to reach his home. He was not allowed to use the main, wide mud path which was actually the shorter, quicker route.

The first row of about ten to twelve houses belonged to the upper castes. He had to be careful, he was going to be in big trouble if any of the Aiyyas came out and saw him using this path.

Tonna tried to walk as quickly as possible, suddenly a young boy’s voice called out to him.

“Who goes there? Hey, you! Stop! Stop right there!”, yelled this childlike voice.

Tonna was a nervous wreck. He did not know what he could possibly say to get out of this situation. He was sure this person belonging to one of the upper castes would flog him to death. Tonna turned around and saw that it was none other than Bala, his classmate from school.

Even though Tonna was always enthusiastic to learn and was regular at school, he was made to sit outside the classroom with the other dalit children. He never understood the point of it. Most of the kids inside the classroom never paid any attention anyway.

Bala was the youngest son of the village headman and he was one of the boys who used to sit inside the classroom. He had never addressed him until now.

“You dalit! You are in my class! How dare you walk on this path that is meant for us upper castes? Don’t you know you have to use the other route to your cursed section of the village? Wait here! I will call my father! He will know what to do with you!”, he said.

Tonna was stranded, if he disobeyed the command of an upper caste person, even if he was as old as he, he knew it would call for more trouble. He decided to plead instead, “Please, listen to me. It was getting too late for me to go home. You know my usual path has a lot of snakes lurking about. I did not want to get bitten and die. Please do not call your father!”, said he.

Bala retaliated, “So what? So what if you die? Don’t you know any better? Just yesterday my father beat your father to a pulp for creating havoc in front of the village after getting drunk. Father said he almost died! How does it matter anyway? Father says you are all dalit scum who should be gotten rid off!”

Tonna pleaded further, “Bala, please. You know I have done nothing so gravely wrong for me to receive the same treatment as my father. Please let this go, I am just a boy, like you. I was only trying to get home as soon as it was possible because I did not want to keep my mother waiting. We all make mistakes. Please Bala.”

Something in the tone in which Tonna addressed Bala, made Bala feel sorry for the boy.

Though he felt so, he did not want him to know. But he was willing to let this slide and leave Tonna with another chance. Bala calmed down and said, “Look Tonna, if this happens again, I will surely tell Father and the consequences will have to be faced by you! Get it? Don’t let this repeat again!” Bala let him off with a final warning. Tonna ran as fast as his legs could take him, without even sparing the time to thank Bala, he bolted. The last thing he wanted was to be spotted by some other person belonging to the upper castes.

Many days passed. Tonna still saw Bala in school sometimes. Bala was never regular; he was not that great at his studies either. He was a sick child. He would never be among the boys when they played; he would always be coughing or sneezing. Tonna heard that he had some difficult health issue but he always felt that maybe, Bala took his position in the social strata for granted. Nevertheless, he hardly attended the classes after their previous encounter.

When he did, they did not exchange any glances, they never even acknowledged each others’ presence. When the last bell rang, Bala went his way with his father on his bike and Tonna went home walking.

It was time for the final exams to arrive and Tonna was studying hard. He always put his heart and soul into studying. Avva was proud of him and his consistency in getting good grades. Though ignored by the teacher, he always scored well.

The day finally arrived when the examination began. All the students attempted their papers and went home to prepare for the next. When the last exam, toughest of all; Mathematics, arrived, Tonna saw that Bala was not present. Examinations were the only time when the dalit children were allowed to enter the classroom.

Tonna religiously completed his paper, he was happy that he had solved all the sums correctly and meanwhile, was wondering in his head if Bala had fallen sick again.

The bell rang and his teacher yelled out loud, “Students, don’t forget to write your names on your answer sheet!”

Tonna moved his wrist to the top right corner of the answer sheet and with his only pencil, wrote the name ‘Bala’.

If you’re superstitious,

You’d consider me bad luck.

If you think you’re superior,

Then I’m a sitting duck.

Strong, independent;

Wise and dutiful.

Haven’t you heard?

Black is beautiful!

Problems come and go

At times can’t take the blow

The only thing I know

Is sleep.

I may not face the world

Never do what I’ve been told

The only thing that’s gold

Is sleep.

When reality hits me hard

Disappointing my old heart

The only fresh start

Is sleep.

When tears Blur my eyes,

When grey hovers the skies,

I am not going to lie

I’ll sleep.

That girl, who you felt was so childish, who could not match up to your level of “sophistication”.

That girl, whose affection you took for granted but made fun of the same when you were with your friends.

That girl, who was the last in your chat list, the last resort to when you got bored.

That girl, who you’d sometimes, with your great generosity, be nice to, just to ease your conscience.

That girl, who’d feel important only for a brief moment, but would only realize later, that she didn’t matter.

That girl who was for some reason unknown, slowly silenced herself from you.

That girl who was a child then, who once, despite being ignored, gave you the highest pedestal in her heart.

That girl…

…didn’t need you.

All she needed was to grow up.

(…A poem based on a story called ‘Lajwanti’ written by Rajinder Singh Bedi.)

Taken away by strangers,

To a place stranger still.

Separated from my other half,

Fortunately not by will.

Young girls and women around me,

Going through similar pain.

Separated from their families,

From relationships full of strain.

Lives paused, homes emptied,

Children left behind.

Friends lost, Gods ignored,

Not one smile I could find.

Women forced to let go of their virtue,

Their chastity, their pride.

Subjected to male brutality,

Commodities who deserve only comments snide.

Raped, beaten, scorned, insulted.

Damaged were their souls.

Bait to political and religious conflicts,

On their lives it took its toll.

Fortunately or unfortunately,

My fate was not as bad,

I was not treated as cruelly,

That made me feel less sad.

That Jumma never hurt me,

Nor did he beat or ill-treat me,

Maybe because he felt sorry,

But I was thankful he spared me.

I miss my husband Sunder,

The man I madly love.

The man I met by chance,

A pair that was made above.

Though he always took me for granted,

My gullible, foolish self.

Wrapped me around his finger,

But protected me from everyone else.

But I returned to him,

Purely a stroke of luck.

That I was hurt, broken, lost,

These assumptions in him were stuck.

He played a big part in the rehabilitation,

Of women into their husbands’ heart.

Though he tried to change others,

In my case, he did not play his part.

The husband who made me feel loved,

with his tantrums, affection and more…

Maybe me returning wasn’t for the best,

Because it has left us both quite sore.

Today, it is a crime to feel.

The world’s job is to mock you and provoke you but don’t you dare feel or say or even DO anything about it, because if you do, you’ll be subjected to shame and guilt.

Emotional abuse is the worst kind of abuse. Half the time, you’re not even aware you’re being abused, which sucks because you have nobody to make you realise what’s happening to you.

Don’t even imagine about going to your parents or your friends and saying, “Your actions have hurt me” because that is the action of a coward, an ungrateful brute.

When you do something for someone, you must refrain from expectations of gratitude or even acknowledgement. God forbid you open your mouth and ask people to thank you, you’ll be deemed to be unruly.

Live like your sole purpose is to serve people without any expectations, live like you’re only what you are today because others have let you become so.

Live like that and you’ll live a long, if not a happy, a less stressful life. Because at the end of the day, you’re only a crack in this vast, barren land.