Healing is a process of getting better, recovering from any kind of an injury or hurt.

So, there’s healing from a physical trauma, which could be caused by an accident, someone harming you, or even a surgery. Then we experience emotional trauma, which is caused by the loss of a loved one, being treated unkindly by someone, and even the physical traumas do have an impact on our emotional well-being. Atleast to some extent.

Let’s first look into physical trauma and the emotional trauma arising from it…..and how to come out of it. Accidents of any kind can get dealt with at home or maybe a doctor’s clinic or a hospital. Surgery- this can be a result of any accident or some illness, both can cause emotional trauma as well.

To emotionally heal from the above does sometimes take longer than the healing from the physical wound, for instance one needs to go through a surgery they’d get discharged from hospital because they’ve recovered and all parameters are normal, but the sub-conscious memories do at times linger…. These cause a lot of emotional scars.

WHERE EVER THERE IS HURT THERE ALSO IS LOVE &HOPE …WE NEED TO LOOK FOR IT

Now the just emotional traumas…..these are more often than not caused by the near and dear ones. They are inflicted upon us by being spoken to with disrespect or rudely, or being ridiculed, by being shouted at, or by being beaten up….could be not having done well in academics. These can be overcome by seeking help from a therapist, or trying different methods of self- healing too, there’s meditaton, yoga, or spiritual paths, one can channelise their energies towards a favourite activity too.

Some people do advice to walk away from whatever triggers our memory, bringing up the hurt feelings all over again, but this doesn’t help the healing process. For really healing one’s self we need to detach ourselves from the experience, not allow ourselves to react the same old way instead treat the incident as a thing from the past and teach ourselves to become more resilient and stronger. To walk a different path from the earlier one that repeatedly caused us to feel hurt, to change our pattern thus change the story and as a result be triumphant. But easy as it may sound I know from experience too it’s difficult! Difficult because all these months/years we have reacted the old way causing ourselves to be hurt time and again, but there seemed a kind of comfort in it, an old habit which if we gave up there would be a void and we wouldn’t know how to fill that! It’s like being unable to let go of an possession which no longer serves us and we need to let go off the same, we like it because our heart and mind is programmed to ‘like it’, & how to react to it. An old car that is eating away into our purse but not serving us, an old pair of jeans which we can’t get into we just got to let go of and replace the same with something we can use. In the same sense we need to teach ourselves, train ourselves to let go off the hurt that’s caused by emotional trauma and instead fill our hearts with self-love, self-worth, and love offered by others who really care. Believe me carrying the burden of old hurt just weighs you down, initially there’s fear of the void created if we let go off it but filling the void with emotions of our choice makes this journey of life way better.

UNRAVEL THE SECRET TO HEALING YOU was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The very first card in the Tarot deck, not only the 1st card in the entire deck but also the 1st card of The Major Arcana.

What meets the eye when we look at this card is a vagabond in ragged clothes, he is wearing stocking without shoes. He is totally oblivious to anything around him doesn’t seem to notice the dog at his feet or that he is nearly on the edge of the cliff.

In his bag he seems to have his tools or worldly possessions or resources. The dog could be his protector or even attacker. There is a flower in his hand, he knows how to appreciate nature. The sun shining overhead makes it feel like a bright new day.

This card typically represents new beginnings. It is an optimistic card, suggesting that one should have faith in the future, be a little carefree, be willing to take a risk. This card suggests that one be free from constraints of present life and instead, be a little spontaneous or even have a free spirit.

Depending on its position in the spread, this card can relate to any of the above.

If, however, the card is reversed (upside down) it can mean that one has a poor judgement or that there’s lack of direction. The person is wasting his / her time and should be aware of the consequences of their decisions.

This is a first of many short insights into the vast range of tarot reading. Do look out for more in this space.

For a more specific, personal reading you can contact Yukti Asher at www.circleofhealing.co or +91 9980055025

An interesting insight into the Mystical world of Tarot was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

MAKING MUNDANE TASKS INTERESTING

Well, yes the extended lock downs, the Covid scene, and the uncertainty of generally everything sure is ‘getting to’ people. I don’t say that I am in control of things happening around me and never feel low, I do feel the feeling of ‘Low’, the sense of mix of feeling helpless, stuck, angry, sad, scared, and so many other things. There are times I feel good too. Well how to get around to making the best of what we all are currently experiencing is what we need to look into….

And the very little consolation we can find solace in, is that the whole world over, every country, every human is facing this even though in different degrees. No, not that this makes the challenge, fear, sadness, and or whatever each one feels justifiable but …. The 2020 lock down world over people were posting videos of food/beverages they made, Tik-Tok videos, sharing what shows they watched etc. lot re discovered old hobbies, reconnected with family and friends. Then things got better we in India experienced limited opening up, travel happened, & holidays happened …the precautions were still in force, but we had a respite. Then came this 2nd Wave! It took us by a storm, while other countries had already dealt with their 2nd wave we were grappling with things, now we saw that the spread was even more rampant. State after Indian states declared lock downs each day newspapers gave updates and everyone became an expert at the treatment and the precautions. People would keep score of the numbers from each place, like it was a cricket or a hockey match. Oh Yes the Vaccine, this was introduced too…

In the midst of all of this we seemed to have forgotten how we handled the year 2020. I am not suggesting posting recipes or making videos but I wish to bring to the notice of us all is that we did manage to see some silver lining….

I heard someone say that she is fed up of everyday cooking for the family but same person doesn’t mind slogging for hours to bake something that’s been ordered for….so what is happening here? Well, while cooking for others so to say there’s a reward..( monetary or a positive feedback) but now that can’t always happen when making home meals or even planning a menu for the family, but is it out of the blue okay to expect that? Or even demand it? I’d say not really, BUT then the homemaker will benefit if the entire ‘exercise’ so to say were looked at a little differently….. what is the person doing whilst planning and either actually executing the menu or instructing a helper to do so , that person is ensuring that the family remains healthy, well fed, nourished, and happy. Now isn’t that a pretty big deal? And then if this self-defeating ‘fed up’ thought creeps in it does percolate on to the food that comes to the table, the taste, the enjoyment, and the well-being. Yes, I do believe in what the scriptures say that the attitude and mood of the cook / home maker do get transferred on to how the meal turns out. Can one not find ways to be happy while going about making even if it’s plain dal-rice for the loved ones? Just have some amount of positvity towards the whole event? And after all for whom is it? One’s own loved ones! For that matter any daily chore that we do around the house, why not bring in some, a little bit of feeling of peace, happiness, and positive thoughts. For instance sweeping mopping dusting, these are done by our domestic help but if they cannot come over and one has to do the same, whose home is getting cleaned? Think…..

I am sure the Work from Home scene is taking a beating & people sure are fed up but how about starting, and ending the day with some encouraging self-talk, a pat on the back, a prayer of thanks for being well? The moms would say that it’s impossible to keep the teenagers engaged, but what about the moms of a toddler? Think of their challenge! Those moms having toddlers be thankful your baby is learning so many life-skills from you and you don’t need to deal with the crying and picking up of coughs and colds from the play home.

Yes, many have lost jobs, businesses aren’t doing too great but people do have each other, emotional support of loved ones. Dearest friends every situation has two sides/ versions we need to make our own choice, the choice to find happiness or dis satisfaction in the current scenario which is here for some time. It is the choice made which will see us through it. What has begun HAS to end and it will….

MAKING MUNDANE TASKS INTERESTING was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I am referring to The Bhagwat Gita. Yes, we can look at it with that view point too. The Bhagwat Gita is basically a record of the dialogue between Lord Krishna and Arjun, the teacher and pupil, the charioter (guide) & the warrior(he was fighting his own internal battle).

As one goes through the verses we see in how much of self doubt and pain Arjun is…..when in his head he knows he has to fight and attack his extended family, friends and teacher, but his heart aches at the very thought of the action. And we have Lord Krishna, his guide and mentor patiently LISTENING to him, & also by the means of dialogue helping Arjun explore his inner self. He does point out to Arjun, that Arjun must abide by his duty, but at the same time implores him to think at a deeper level. At no point does Krishna take any decision on behalf of Arjun but instead in reply to the latter’s every question He encourages Arjun to ‘look’ deeper within his own self. And to weigh the pros and cons of whatever action Arjun decides to take.

Then again during the battle whenever Arjun exihibited any doubts as far as his actions were concerned, his ‘counselor’ had his back, by guiding him through every instance of self doubt.

Here we see that counseling certainly isn’t a one time procedure, but the therapist leads the client right through his/her journey.

So friends This Is what counselling is all about… even if the counselor wants to push the client in the right direction he/she has to allow the counselee to be the one to take the final decision. We counselors are there only to provide a safe and stable space for people to reach out when in any kind of emotional pain or self doubt.

Let’s look at counselling from ‘down the Ages’ was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“I love you so much, more than anything in this big wide world” how often have we heard or read these lines? Now is it really possible to do so? I’d say there are people who do practice the same. Always thinking of their loved one’s comfort over and above their own, probably changing food habits or making basic lifestyle changes to accommodate the whims and fancies of the said loved one. Parents (mostly mothers) bending backward to make the child happy in order to ‘show’/’prove’ their love. Then we can have couples who are dating give up so much for the love of their life, and also spouses who put up with abusive treatment just to prove his/ her love for the other.

But I would like to explore more into this give ‘it’ my all…..is it really really worth it? To put another’s feelings, preferences, needs & wants above one’s own? What happens to the individual who does all this only to at some point realise that they forgot what they like etc and the other person with or (mostly without) realising does something hurtful? Or constantly in the name of love continues to abuse or manuplate? Would it not be so very shattering when the giver of such selfless love one fine day realises that the ‘subject’ of their affection was exploiting them to the hilt? Then all that’s left is a very broken person and if this were to repeat time and again ? How would it impact the said person? So then what could be a way out? Is there even a way to avoid such a situation? Yes, there is! Always remember to maintain your individuality, BE SELFISH & do not give ‘it’ (your love ) all. Keep some for yourself. Sounds difficult? weird? maybe it does but if thought through it is not only do-able but also highly recommended! All one needs to do while ‘keeping a little of their love for themselves’ is maintain your self respect, do not beg, if at any time you feel you aren’t welcome just back off. It is always a good thing to cultivate a hobby, spend time over one’s own self. Most importantly be happy in your own company (not need approval or physical presence of another). It is so correct, the saying..”You cannot pour out of an empty vessel” Thus there’s no harm in ‘keeping’ a little of the love your heart holds reserved for your own self…..

LOVE ME….GIVE ME YOUR 100%.. was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

WHAT IS LOVE….? was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Are there any rules on how a marriage should be?

A checklist that one can strike off to figure if they are in a successful marriage? Unfortunately, there isn’t any such thing. Generally the couple would go by how they have seen their parents behave /conduct themselves or some aunt or uncle….either they adopted the same or similar behaviors or modify them depending on how each one has interpreted the relationship of respective parents’.

Marriage is like a partnership but the % always varies unlike as in a business partnership. Whether it is which of the two partners is doing the adjusting, letting go off things much more than the other because things aren’t they way he/she would wish, or which one is doing more towards even the daily chores. Marriage is about maintaining one’s own self respect and giving respect to the spouse, certainly not bad mouthing the spouse in presence of others not even the children (specially the children), it is also about not taking each other for granted. In a marriage the couple is like a team, an indesructable team always together in any decision big or small, not implying that one should loose his or her individuality but being as one, as far as all others are concerned, sorting out their differences between each other. Over the years this practice makes the couple start thinking like each other always knowing what the other would like or dislike and yet maintaining his/her own individuality. It may seem difficult but it certainly isn’t impossible. Now that! my friends is a good successful marriage! Yes, and trusting each other totally also having THAT faith in the relationship, knowing that whatever happens my spouse will always stand by me. It is where two people are equals not rivals, who would be competing with each other for attention and approval of others. It is having the courage to know the spouse’s mistakes stand by them and help them overcome the same.

MARRIED….& NOW? was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

We first see the advantages and disadvantages of living with The Parents….

The couple gets some amount of help with daily chores, learn /pick up finer points of managing domestic front, probably the company of others would make the girl feel very comfortable. BUT on the flip side they couple hardly gets any privacy. The new bride would probably get compared to other women in the household, may feel she needs to compete with them. It would tell on the boy too, he’d probably feel torn between the wife and mother.

Where as if the newly weds were to immediately move into a house of their own, they’d have all the privacy but could be at a disadvantage of not learning some customs and not getting family support when needed. They’d have the pleasure of setting up things from scratch but may need to work on a tight budget.

To live with parents and the extended family and then wean off, move out would be a great situation and a good balance too.

WHAT WOULD EACH OF THE PARTNERS PROBABLY LOOK FOR IN A MARRIAGE

Companionship, that I’d say would be one of the first thing, someone to share everything with. Spend the rest of their life with someone you love. Humans being social animals feel the need to be living with other humans thus marriage is one of the options practiced. Invariably the spouse becomes the best friend one has, though initially each one tries their best to impress the other, but few years into the relationship and the most vulnerable side is exposed.

A ‘successful’ marriage is one where every shade of grey is accepted, supported, and loved. If there are certain flaws the partners compensate for the same. But if there are certain socially unacceptable faults the spouse would put everything in his/her ability to bring about a change in the partner. We would generally observe the spouses stand up for each other in all circumstances in front of others, the suggestions for change happen only behind closed doors.

AND WHEN THERE IS A FIGHT

They say you fight with people closest to you. So, well fights do happen specially since the two are most of the time together, more than fights I’d say disagreements. Disagreements which get way too serious and end up as fights. Minor ones are good too for the relationship, but too frequent and too huge ones do end up in separation. Specially if there is physical abuse involved.

But otherwise how would a fight ‘end’?

Generally, with one person apologising, but the other partner needs to accept the apology also. There are many who would accept it but later at every given opportunity remind their partner, or get the feeling of being superior, and this would do no good to the relationship.

MORE ON MARRIAGE was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A young boy in his mid-twenty’s meets this girl through some family friends, the purpose of this meeting is to consider each other as life-partners. The two families have known each other and now want the children to tie The Knot.

Another scene :- In college or any other situation …. These two have been dating since some time and now want to marry, the next step would be to make the respective parents meet….

There are different situations that lead to two people making a decision to ‘settle down’ or get married. But what should one expect from marriage? How would life change? Would the marriage be successful? What is a successful marriage? Is it compulsory to have children? …… so many questions

Whether it is the boy or girl the huge step of marriage is got into with so many dreams, apprehensions, expectations, and absolutely no experience or a guide or rule book. For the girl according to some cultures, she has to leave her parental home to go live with the in-laws while some cultures the newly weds move into a house of their own. What ever be the case it is not only the girl but the boy too needs to get accustomed to the change (which is rather contrary to common belief).

If the couple continues to live with the parents, the boy too needs to get used to ‘handling’ one more woman who would want his 100% attention, love and affection, whereas the girl would probably feel totally at sea with the new ways of the new family. She would want to win over the new family their affection and love, they would already be doing things in a certain way, whether it is the basic life style or food habits or even holidays. If they decide to live away from the parents there are other challenges.

We explore more in the next article….

MARRIAGE was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

KEYWORDS DESCRIBING THE MAJOR ARCANA TAROT CARDS

The Major Arcana Tarot cards represent life lessons, karmic influences & archetypal themes that are constantly influencing your life. The card meanings are deep and complex. These cards are also known as Trump cards, are 21 numbered cards and 1 unnumbered card or the ‘0’, namely The Fool.

The appearance of a Major Arcana card in a reading indicates some amount of action and movement or talks of one’s life lessons, it also sets the stage for rest of the cards. If there are many Major Arcana cards in a spread, this shows you are experiencing life-changing events which will also have a long- term effects.

Let us look at some of the key words that describe the Major Arcana Cards

THE FOOL (0):-Upright-Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit.

Reversed-Naivety, foolishness, recklessness, risk taking.

THE MAGICIAN (1):-Upright-creativity, self-confidence, sleight of hand, will-power, skill

Reversed-delay, insecurity, lack of self-confidence.

THE HIGH PRIESTESS (2):- Upright-knowledge, wisdom, learning, intuition, impatience, virtue,

Purity.

Reversed-selfishness, shallowness, misunderstanding, ignorance.

THE EMPRESS (3):- Upright-development, accomplishment, evolution.

Reversed-inaction, lack of concentration, anxiety, infidelity

THE EMPEROR (4):- Upright-authority, father figure, structure, solid foundation

Reversed-domination, excessive control, rigidity, inflexibility.

THE HIEROPHANT (5):- Upright-mercy, conformity, forgiveness, social approval, bondedness

Reversed-vulnerability, unconventionality, foolish, generosity,

Impotence, unorthodoxy.

THE LOVERS (6):-Upright-harmony, trust, romance, optimism, honour, love, harmony

Reversed- separation, frustration, unreliability, fickleness, untrustworthy.

THE CHARIOT (7):- Upright-perseverance, rushed decision, turmoil, vengeance

Reversed- vanquishment, defeat, failure, unsuccessful.

STRENGTH (8):- Upright- courage, conviction, determination, action, virility.

Reversed-pettiness, sickness, immaturity, imprudence, foolishness.

THE HERMIT (9):- Upright-inner strength, prudence, withdrawal, caution, vigilance

Reversed-hastiness, rashness, immaturity, foolishness.

THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE (10):- Upright-unexpected events, advancement, destiny, fortune, progress.

Reversed-interruption, outside influences, failure, bad luck.

JUSTICE (11):- Upright-equality, righteousness, virtue, honour, harmony, balance.

Reversed-false accusation, unfairness, abuse, baised.

THE HANGED MAN (12):- Upright- change, reversal, boredom, improvement, rebirth,suspension, change.

Reversed-false prophecy, useless sacrifice, unwillingness.

DEATH (13):- Upright-unexpected change, loss, failure, transformation, death, bad luck.

Reversed-immobility, slow change, cheating, death, stagnation.

TEMPERANCE (14):- Upright-temperance, patience, good influence, confidence, moderation.

Reversed-conflict, disunion, frustration, impatience, discord.

THE DEVIL (15):- Upright-downfall, unexpected failure, controversy, disaster, ill-tempered.

Reserved-release, enlightment, divorce, recovery

THE TOWER (16):- upright-disruption, abandonment, end of friendship, bankruptcy, downfall, unexpected events.

Reversed-entrapment, imprisonment, old ways, rustic.

THE STAR (17):- upright-balance, pleasure, optimism, insight, spiritual love, hope, faith.

Reversed-disappointment, bad luck, broken dreams.

THE MOON (18):-Upright-upright, double dealing, deception, disillusionment, trickery, error, danger, disgrace.

Reversed- trifing mistakes, deception discovered, negative advantage.

THE SUN (19):- Upright-accomplishment, success, love, joy, happy marriage, satisfaction.

Reversed-loneliness, cancelled plans, unhappiness, break ups.

THE JUDGEMENT (20):- Upright-awakening, renewal, rejuvenation, rebirth, improvement, promotion, atonement.

Reversed- disappointment, indecision, death, failure, ill-health, theft,

Worry.

THE WORLD (21) :- Upright-perfection, recognition, success, fulfilment, eternal life.

Reversed- lack of vision, disappointment, imperfection.

A PEEK INTO THE WORLD OF TAROT CARDS was originally published in Circle of Healing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.