Parking lots. Have you ever been in a well-designed parking lot? No? Me either. Also, why is it otherwise good drivers pull into parking lots and enter some alternative universe, forgetting all rules of the road and pedestrian safety. Why is this so hard?

Online florists don’t show anything to scale. What looks like a gorgeous huge bouquet on your 13" monitor, in reality, shows up looking like a ‘Honey I Shrunk the Bouquet’ special. And it probably cost you $149.99. Plus delivery fee. Plus tax. Plus floral surcharge.

Airlines that charge you for a carry-on. Um, if I was boarding a plane and DIDN’T have a single bag with me I would hope TSA would do their job and question my ass. In what world — and to what destination — does one travel without at the very least a carry-on bag?! Just include it in the goddamn base economy garbage fare for crying out loud.

My auto-text still, after all these years and all the artificial intelligence capabilities, still thinks I’m trying to say “duck” all the goddamn time. I AM NEVER TRYING TO SAY DUCK. NO ONE SAYS DUCK. EVER.

Refrigerators now come with fancy computers and screens and they can show you what’s inside them when you’re 500 miles away and re-order your cashew milk for you when you’re low. Great. But they still can’t auto-close if they’re left open? Seems like a miss. Let’s get on this, KitchenAid.

Auto-flush toilets should, in theory, work fairly well. Alas, without fail, just as you lay that thin paper protector down, its awkward center flap dipped into the bowl (why does that center flap even exist??), the sensor goes off and SWOOOSH… your hard work down the drain while you stand there cursing the porcelain gods.

LOL Dolls. What sociopath designed children’s toys in microscopic scale, accompanied by the teeniest, tiniest accessories, certain to get lost/swallowed/swept-up-by-the-Roomba within the first 45 minutes? Can we just not?

Things that don’t make sense. was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Last week, my team started interviewing for our three available Summer 2019 internship positions. Yes, that’s right: In 2018, the competition is so fierce, that most companies post their summer internship positions in, well, basically the summer before; and college kids everywhere are somehow responsible enough to be applying for things they’ll do in 12 months time instead of doing beer bongs like they’re supposed to.

What is this world.

Back to the interns. I interviewed four of them last week, with another four this week. These were the top eight from about 100 candidates, whittled down to 20 by our thankless talent recruiter (thanks, girl), and whittled down by my team to eight, to interview. The first four knocked my socks off. These kids have more experience at 20 than I had at 30. OK, fine, 35. They’ve published books (literally), won awards, started companies, launched non-profits, volunteered, traveled, have their own websites and digital portfolios. They have firm handshakes and make eye contact confidently. Such go-getters… such entrepreneurs and hustlers.

Color me impressed by it all, for sure, but also, a touch skeptical. Here’s the thing; in this 24/7/365 world, there’s no off button. There’s no downtime. There are only more stimuli — always running, always pumping, always feeding the beast. Dopamine rush, achieved. Everyone is trying to do so much — to be so much. These days, people’s side hustles have side hustles. And it all starts so early. Tweens have YouTube channels. They know how to edit their own videos. They’re getting sponsors. They are seeking out internships at 15, 16. They haven’t hit puberty and don’t even own a bra and are somehow showing up the rest of us grown-ups how lazy we are. And college kids — overwhelmed with opportunity and competition — are keeping Adderal in business.

But are we all moving too fast? Are we all over-extended? Over-stimulated? Over it, at all? Now that our brains and our bodies have adjusted to the new normal with 24/7 screens in our hands, and we hold the ability to multitask like a mother, more easily than ever before, we may be “getting shit done,” sure — but at what cost?

I sometimes try to remember what I did with my time before I had kids and life got real. How did I spend my weekends? For the life of me I can’t really remember. But I think I spent a lot of time doing The New York Times’ crossword. From the actual newspaper. The kind you held and smelled and that stained your fingers. I sat in coffee shops with a book and a latte. I enjoyed brunches with friends (that didn’t get Instagrammed.)

So while Gary Vee is telling all the kids to do more, to stop complaining, to stop sleeping and sell shit, to quit whining and hustle… I wonder, what would happen if we actually took the opposite approach and slowed the F down? If we took our time and didn’t Waze to our next destination? If we put the phone down at brunch? If we stopped stressing over our lack of “side hustle?” If we didn’t put so much pressure on ourselves to succeed? If we were ok with how much money we made and what our lot was in life and we could just enjoy the ride a little more?

Happy Thanksgiving, all… enjoy your turkey, your time with friends and family, and hopefully a moment or two where can pause and just…. breathe.

The Vaynerchuck Effect was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Here’s an idea: Let’s stop having idiot, lying pundits and politicians on news shows unless there’s a plan to CALL THEM OUT LIVE, ON-AIR, FOR THEIR BULLSHIT. Not in a tweet after the fact, not a few days later in a recap. LIVE. AS THEY’RE SPEWING BULLSHIT. (This also includes our actual “President” who continues to be given a platform despite his uncanny ability to just make things up as he goes.)

Here’s an idea: Let’s make Election Day a NATIONAL HOLIDAY. If Columbus gets his own holiday and my bank is closed (and Columbus was an asshole) then don’t you think in 2018 with historically low voter turnout we could actually make it easier for people to do their civic duty?

Here’s an idea: Let’s focus on political awareness in high school and college. Let’s make US Politics a mandatory class for high school seniors who are about to turn 18 and gain the right to vote, giving them motivation, education and encouragement to be involved in our political process.

Here’s an idea: Let’s sue Fox News for using the term “News” in their name. They’re not news. They’re entertainment. They don’t employ journalists. They don’t break news. They don’t interview or collect facts. They are a partisan entertainment source. Period.

Here’s an idea: Let’s focus less on trivial things like Halloween, and House Hunters, and more on things like human rights and healthcare.

Here’s an idea: Let’s start telling more positive news stories again. Let’s remind people of humanity’s possibilities. Let’s make sure we are giving airtime to the Nike’s of the world who are signing runners with cerebral palsy. Or to the barber who gives free haircuts to homeless people. In these divisive times, we need to be reminded as often as possible that there’s still good in this world, and we can be part of it, we can enable it, we can celebrate it, and therefore encourage more of it.

On that note, here are some awesome stories I came across this week:

Simran Jeet Singh on Twitter

These black brothers saw a woman paying for gas with pennies and gave her money from their pockets. They had no idea that her husband had just died and she was struggling. This is what loving your neighbor looks like. More of this please!✌🏾❤️ https://t.co/k5pnJBTzS0

• Three siblings made their late dad's dream come true on 'Shark Tank'
• Devoted Lunch Lady Encourages Students by Writing Sweet Messages on Fruit
• Watch Two Australian Police Officers Rescue Drowning Kangaroo Because 'Every Life is Worth Saving'
• Helicopter Upsets Tennis Player With PTSD, Teammate Abandons Game to Comfort Him Using A Song

Here’s an idea. was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Here’s a list of some of my faves, right now:

D R I N K .

Alley 26 (Durham) This is what happens when you let the hipsters take over. They bring in fancy cocktails dressed with XXL square ice cubes and sprigs of smoked rosemary. But seriously, this place knows their booze. They make their own tonic syrup, made with lemongrass, limes and sugar, together with the bark of a cinchona tree, from which quinine is sourced. (Who knew?) They sell 12.5 oz bottles for $13, which according to them makes 20 G&Ts. So you could enjoy their fancy cocktails in house, or recreate them at home, bougie ice cubes not included.

(Note to self: In my next life I’m going to come back as the copywriter who comes up with names for nail polishes and cocktails. I’m lookin’ at you, Naples Aprils.)

D I N E .

First Watch (Cary and Raleigh) Fan of pancakes? This place does a pretty sweet stack (and a lemon ricotta one at that). Built off the local-fresh model, their menu is a refreshing mix of fresh-squeezed juices, avocado toast and power bowls, mixed in with the brioche french toasts and eggs benedicts everyone knows and loves. My favorite thing on their menu, however, is a salad — their Sweet Honey Pecan salad is what roughage-dreams are made of. I don’t know what that dressing is but I’d drizzle it on EVERYTHING if I had my way.

ZenFish Poke Bar (Morrisville and Durham) You know what’s even better than sushi? Poké. What is poké, you ask? Deconstructed sushi. I know, I know: mind blown. As with the cronut and the ramen burger before it, its fresh new moniker (longstanding Hawaiian origins aside) makes it fun and relevant and thus has it popping up in suburban strip malls across the country. ZenFish does it well — with perfect lunch-sized bowls of goodness you pick and choose your ingredients for as you go down the assembly line. It’s like Chipotle, if Chipotle offered raw fish, and add-ins like kimchi and seaweed salad. OK fine, it’s nothing like Chipotle. (It’s way better.)

Saint James Seafood (Durham) Oysters are rarely an easy choice in a land-locked area. Nor does one think about them like they would if they lived in, say, Maine, or Long Island. But damn if the Triangle isn’t trying to change that, starting with James Beard-nominated chef Matt Kelly, who most of us know from Mateo Tapas down the street. Saint James has outdone itself with the decor, anchored by a stunning raw bar, lit overhead by an endless row of brass maritime pendants. Their New England Clam Chowder is pretty legit (And I grew up spending summers on Cape Cod. I like to think I have high standards.) But the real stars here are the raw oysters, so start there.

Kipos (Chapel Hill) Want a fun place to have dinner? One that has an awesome ambiance and delicious Mediterranean food? How about one that might encourage you up out of your seat to dance around the restaurant to live Greek music? Kipos is your spot. I recently celebrated my 40th here with 9 friends. Everyone had a blast and loved the food — and it helps that it’s across the street from The Crunkleton, making it the perfect dinner/nightcap duo. Opa!

Andias (West Cary) Oh, Andias. How do I love thee. Let me count the ways, starting with your lemon basil sorbet, and ending with your pistachio rose ice cream. Your ice cream shop has been a welcome addition to the West Cary scene, one that has people craving cold goodness even in the dead of winter. All the awards you’ve already won are testament to your fandom… How do you do it?

S H O P .

Dress (Raleigh) I’ve long been a fan of consignment shops. Having always fashioned myself a deal-finder of sorts, there’s something incredibly satisfying about coming across a gorgeous piece from DVF, philip lim, or Elizabeth & James at 60% (or more) off retail. When I lived in New York, Tokyo7 was my jam — it was where I consigned all my stylist wares and too-trendy things I spent too-too much money on, only to rack up store credits and buy the Balenciaga XL Motorcycle Bag of my dreams, or the Marc Jacobs coat I’d never have afforded otherwise. Dress has managed to fulfill my consignment dreams right here in the Triangle, with endless revolving inventory of NWT or gently-used items that any New Yorker would kill for.

Tiny (Durham) If I were a children’s boutique, I’d want to be Tiny, hands down. This spot has the most carefully-curated mix of children’s gifts, clothing, decor, and toys on the planet — well, maybe not the planet, but for SURE the Triangle. From books to BlaBla dolls and all the unicorn accessories your heart desires in between, they’ve thought of everything. If you’re looking for a special new baby or birthday gift, this is your place.

F A N C Y .

The Umstead Afternoon Tea (Cary) Sometimes you just gotta get all pinkies up, you know what I mean? And when you do, do it at The Umstead. Their tea is served from 2pm-3:30pm and includes five varieties of tea sandwiches (the smoked salmon, rye and lemon cream is my fave), four varieties of scones and three varieties of sweet treats for $36 a person. There’s a live harpist, so like I said, bring your fancy.

The Umstead Spa (Cary) Speaking of the Umstead, here’s a million dollar idea: Give yourself a mental health day this summer and book yourself into the Umstead Spa. You’ll get pool and fitness privileges (if it’s a weekday), which makes it the perfect place to spend an afternoon laying low and recharging your batteries. Nothing says fancy quite like:

• being served frozen grapes and blueberries poolside
• ice cold washcloths with cucumber slices for your eyes
• multiple relaxation rooms with complimentary tea, fruit water, and snacks like chocolate covered bananas
• amazing treatments like the buttermilk and honey wrap
• 5-star service from everyone who works there

Got a favorite spot in the Triangle you think I should check out? Let me know!

Favorite Triangle Spots: 2018 was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The other day, I found myself in conversation with a 25-year-old coworker about creative portfolios. I patiently explained to him that “back in my day”, people didn’t have their own “websites.” If you were a model, or a photographer, or a copywriter or a stylist, you had to have a physical book with all your samples organized in a compelling fashion to share with clients. Your world revolved around that damn book, and when it was sent out and to whom, and how quickly you could get it back so it could be sent to the next potential client. (Most people had to have more than one book for this reason, which was both annoying and expensive, especially if you didn’t have an agent representing you.)

Needless to say, his mind was blown.

“So what you’re telling me is you had to MAIL an actual BOOK to a company and they’d look through it and then send it back to you and either give you the job or not?”

Yes, my friend. Yes.

That night I lay in bed thinking about how these types of conversations have become more frequent lately. The conversations about bands never heard of (“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF A TRIBE CALLED QUEST?!”) or about pre-digital life (“Yes, I had a PAGER. Nope, no cell phone. We sent numerical messages that were code for phrases, like ‘meet me outside at 6,’ or ‘boob’ because we also had terrible senses of humor.”)

Alas, I am part of the straddler generation; i.e. the last generation to have lived during a pre-digital world. The generations after me don’t/won’t know a world without iPhones or streaming TV or e-sports or voice command enabled life. This truth weighed down on me — crushing what was left of my youthful spirit. I am officially feeling old.

Don’t believe me? Guess when ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ first aired? TWENTY EIGHT YEARS AGO. The movie ‘Big’ turns THIRTY this year. So does ‘The Land Before Time’, which is where I feel like I must have come from, that’s how old I feel right now.

And I’m not just being dramatic here. I can’t believe I’m saying it out loud, but I turn 40 in just under two months. And 40 is basically 50 and holy shit, it’s all wrinkles and regret from here on out, and what have I done with my career, and I should have spent more time with my kids, and is it too late to have another baby, and will I ever write that book I’ve always wanted to write? And what will I be remembered for when I die? I care more about proper Tupperware solutions than I do about my social life. I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of aging grief and self-pity.

Time feels like it’s propelling me forward, forcing each day into the next and making “living in the moment”an impossible feat. So many have-tos and want-tos and obligations and responsibilities and milestones. I just want to press pause and do some of the things I said I would, like start one of those cute bullet journals. Or be more consistent with blogging. Or get my side hustle up and moving. Or reclaim my mojo.

My youngest turned four a few weeks ago, and of course that too is creating a sense of sadness and loss. She’s my baby no more — independent, driven, smart, funny — she knows how to get dressed and brush her teeth, pull the stool up to the fridge and pour herself water, she knows how to sneakily hide in the pantry eating Cheerios from the box, she knows how to write her name and the alphabet and at this rate she’ll probably graduate college and launch a disruptive crayon business in like a month. My son took one day of snowboarding lessons and would give Shaun White a run for his money. They’re propelling forwards at such velocity… and yet I’m slowing down. Funny how that works.

So, what will 40 bring? Will I find a renewed sense of purpose and passion? Will I become more comfortable and confident in my skin? Will I figure out what my legacy will be? Or will old age tug at me like an annoying toddler, reminding me I’m one step closer to an AARP membership?

Don’t answer that question. Please. But do stay tuned…

So This is a Midlife Crisis. was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

You’ve seen the hashtags (#momlife) and the mugs (Mom Juice) and the memes (“TMW you realize the kids have been in bed for 30 minutes and you’ve been watching Frozen alone.”) You’ve heard the war stories. But have you ever thought about what it really takes to “mom” successfully in 2018?

Let’s ponder:

• A smartphone. This is a no-brainer. It’s your answer to nearly every parenting dilemma on the planet. Kid’s screaming for that Moana song for the 4 millionth time? YouTube. Trying to have a conversation with another adult? Phone games. Weird rash on your kids ass? Google images. Scratch that — Don’t. Ever. Google. Image. Rashes.
• Facebook Mom Groups. Speaking of rashes, this is the place you’ll hear all about them. By the time your kids are 12 you’ll basically be a pediatrician, without the hefty med school bill. Facebook Mom Groups are where it’s allllll going down. Who’s building what, where. What asshole drives too fast in the neighborhood, with a picture of his Toyota Camry and license plate so the rest of us can speed-shame him. Which urgent care center is the best with children at 3am. And it’s where you’ll become a popcorn connoisseur as you sit back and watch Bitch Sesh IRL, as moms attack each others character, religious beliefs, and tween wardrobe choices. It’s where you should go when you want to feel like the best mom. And also where you’ll probably feel like the worst one.
• Snapchat. These poor souls are having a hard time monetizing their social network, but I’ve got the solution: turn it into a parents’ social network, charge us $4.99 to download the app, and promise us a gazillion Snapchat faces a day. Done. That’s it. I can keep a 4 year old entertained with this for HOURS.
• Alexa. This babe deserves an award for keeping kids entertained since 2016. She teaches my children (“Alexa, let’s play Jeopardy.”) She entertains my children. (“Alexa, tell me a joke.”) She gives them the weather each morning, which has allowed them to get dressed by themselves because they know if it will be warm or cold. If you don’t have an Echo, or a Google dot, you’re not living your best life. Trust me. I seriously owe her my life. I love you. Marry me.
• Costco. I know where you think I’m going with this, but y’all already get that you can buy cheap wine and paper towels there so I’m not here to tell you something you already know. Nope. You know how your kids eat ALL. DAY. LONG? Like, they constantly need snacks, and you feel like you’re just feeding them bars and nuts and carrots and cheerios all goddamn day long, and cleaning up after them with their grubby hands and crumb trails? COSTCO SAMPLES are the answer. Get a cart, get yourself one of those frozen coffee drinks, walk around, let your kids try every goddamn sample in that store. Oh, you want to try this Greek yogurt? Great. Here you go. Want a coconut-fried shrimp? Knock yourself out. Cheese? Don’t mind if you do. You don’t have to prepare anything, just roll that cart around and take care of all your to-dos and what-have-yous while your kids eat the most random selection of snacks since all-you-can-eat cruise buffets were invented. No cleanup necessary. Food-baby comas in the car on the way home while you listen to 90s hip hop.
• Time to yourself. Honestly… I can’t tell you how many moms I’ve talked to at PTA meetings or soccer games and they don’t. Ever. Take. Time. For. Themselves. What the what? Listen. Turn down Real Housewives and listen to me. You deserve “you” time. You don’t have to feel guilty for it. You do you. It’s the only way — literally the only way — you’ll survive.

What’s your mom secret? How do you keep the dragons in check?

Don’t Sweat the Technique was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Facebook Mom Groups across the Triangle go into a spiral, with a sea of posts ranging from “DOES ANYONE HAVE A PLASTIC SAUCER SLED TO SELL ME?! MY KIDS WILL KILL ME IF THEY KNOW I FORGOT TO ORDER THESE AFTER LAST WINTER… FML… WILL PAY TOP $$” to “EVERYONE, IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE NEWS, SNOW IS COMING. DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE PARENT. STAY INSIDE. IT’S NOT WORTH YOUR SAFETY — OR THAT OF OTHERS — TO BE OUT DRIVING IN THESE TREACHEROUS CONDITIONS!” to “OH BOY, HERE WE GO AGAIN, OVER/UNDER ON WHEN WE FIRST GET THE “BREAD AND MILK” VIDEO POSTED TO OUR PAGE.”

(For those unfamiliar with the Bread and Milk video…)

And truthfully, I’ve played into the absurdity of it all, making fun of Southerners for their inability to drive in a mere dusting of snow, or complaining at how ridiculous it is that school is preemptively cancelled two days before a single flake even falls. Every time that Wake County School District text message comes through, with the “All schools will be closed tomorrow” I throw my hands up in the air with an “Are you f-ing kidding me?” and then I’m annoyed for like five minutes as I think about how I’ll entertain two little dragons for the next 24+ hours.

But guys — here’s where I’m about to drop some truth.

It’s kind of awesome.

We’re on our second snow day of the season, and tomorrow has already been deemed a snow day as well given we’re now up to 6 inches and that’s basically considered a “massive state of emergency” situation up in here. Friday is anyone’s guess but I’ll go ahead and say that yeah, it’s probably 90/10 it’ll be a snow day too. Which means that while yes, the kids will likely get on my last damn nerve, and stir craziness is really a thing, I am literally living in pajamas, I’m not even sure I brushed my teeth today or not, I’ve got a fire in the fireplace, my laptop has full power as I work from the comfort of my sofa, with a full cup of hot tea (with whisky in it, while we’re being so honest.) I’m living my best life.

So between you and me, this is a-OK. I mean, I’ll always pretend it’s ridiculous, because I’m no sellout. But the kids actually used the damn sleds I bought in a panic on Amazon last winter, which makes me happy. This weekend it’s going to be like 60 degrees here, which means unlike the North — where they’re pelted with snow and cold temps for months on end, basically begging the sun gods by March to show some mercy and cut them a break— here, we get the joy of a winter wonderland followed immediately by mild, practically-spring-like weather to bask in… before our next little cold front hits and we all get another day off to, you know, live our best lives.

Also, you see how I’m now referring to NYers as them, and not us?! This is a major development in my evolution. The times they are a’changin’ up in here.

Gotta run, I’ve got some Facebook Mom Groups to infiltrate with fun snowpocalypse memes.

Moment of Truth: Snow in the South was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

1) 280 characters.

We all hemmed and hawed at this evolution from Twitter, but let’s be honest, it’s growing on all of us. Everyone is finding their voice again, and, who knows? Maybe this is the subtle shift back in the direction of us living in a world where people read again. A girl can dream.

2) Badass bitches taking names.

Finally. FINALLY. Women are standing up and saying “nope, no thank you, NOT TODAY.” And it’s glorious! It’s a monumental shift that will be long-documented in history books and be discussed for centuries to come. And we’re living through it and partaking in its unfurling and seeing it all happen, with our daughters/mothers/sisters/besties in tow.

BTW: The award for MVBB (Most Valuable Badass Bitch) was a straight tie between Rose McGowan and Maxine Waters. Both of you reclaimed your time — bravo.

3) Pet adoption

This one’s personal, y’all. We decided to open our home to some foster doggies this year, and well, one of them just wouldn’t leave. As in, he sort of wormed his way into our hearts (and pantry) and so we made it official. Luke O’Grady, I don’t know where you came from, or what your life was like before you became part of ours, but I’m glad you’re here, and you seem pretty stoked on it too. And PS: you’re not a lap dog… you’re 105 pounds.

Moral: rescue dogs are kind of amazing.

4) Words matter. (Specifically, how they’re spelled.)

Another personal one: My 7-year-old has embraced language and spelling and is basically a savante. He can spell anything you throw at him — neighbor, croissant, exercise — I am like a proud peacock, and am now convinced the future will be just fine and we won’t spiral into Black Mirror territory. At least not as quickly as I thought. The fact he’s a better speller than our current POTUS also would be worth bragging about, if it weren’t all so frightening and despicable.

5) Kids being awesome.

Kids can be real shits sometimes. I’m allowed to say that because I have two of my own and so I’m basically an expert. But these kids from Boca Raton, FL are nipping bullying in the bud and making sure that no kid eats alone at school. Their new club is called We Dine Together, and you can take a pledge on their website and start a chapter at your own school. Literally every school in the country should adopt this. This is what progress, positivity and inclusivity looks like.

6) The Positivity Project

Speaking of things every school should adopt, this program tops the list. My son’s elementary school is participating this year and WOW is it amazing to see the results translate into a kinder, gentler, more empathetic little person. The Positivity Project technically started in 2015 with just one school, but has now ramped up to being deployed in more than 188 schools across the US. It was created by two West Point graduates who spent a combined 52 months deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan, and returned home wanting to empower America’s youth to build strong relationships by seeing the good in themselves and others. Their belief is that “our capacity to build strong, character-based relationship is the cornerstone of health, happiness and resilience, and will be crucial in meeting challenges of the future.”

The program focuses on 24 character strengths that are incorporated into a school’s lesson plans, teaching kids such valuable traits as gratitude, open-mindedness, curiosity, citizenship, teamwork and humility. I’m SO grateful to have our school participate in this program, and I absolutely LOVE seeing these traits manifest themselves in my seven-year-old in special and unique ways.

7) Obscure brands finding their voice in social media

As a social media marketer, this makes me happy on so many levels. Brands like MoonPie are making Twitter great again, and that means there’s still hope for the little guy, and that ultimately should be what social media is all about.

8) This hero saved over 30 lives.

Why don’t we all know his name? Why is he not being celebrated? I’m celebrating him — he’s one of the best things that happened in 2017, albeit during one of the worst things that happened in 2017. This is Jonathan Smith, a 30-year-old who led numerous people out of harm’s way during the horrific massacre at the country music festival in Las Vegas, and even exposed himself to gunfire to protect some girls who weren’t safe from it — which ended up getting him shot in the neck. Jonathan, we salute you.

9) Khloe Kardashian is pregnant.

Some of you might find this fairly trite or trivial, and wonder how in the hell it landed on my Great Moments list. But let me just say, as someone who’s experienced five miscarriages myself — and struggled through two high risk pregnancies — I feel the pain of anyone who wants a baby and can’t make it happen, even if that pain is from someone who’s unmarried, worth a bajillion dollars, and has only been dating this dude for 5 minutes. Don’t hate…

10) A darling Raleigh restaurant landed on Forbes Top 10 in the WORLD list.

This makes me so happy. Brewery Bhavana, a new(ish) spot in downtown Raleigh, opened by the sweet sibling duo behind Bida Manda (another fave) made the Forbes 10 Coolest Places to Eat in the World list. Yes. The WORLD. Raleigh is showing up, people.

Look, I might get some hate mail that the “Royal Engagement” didn’t make my list, but listen — I’m just not that into getting all excited over a Royal getting married like the rest of the world is. Unless we’re talking about Lorde, and then I’m super into it.

Happy New Year, all. May 2018 bring us love and light… and an indictment/impeachment. (A girl can dream.)

Some Great Things of 2017 was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Oh, the holidays are upon us? I had no idea. I was too distracted by the shiny objects of disaster reflecting in our faces every damn day to notice.

Hanukkah is happenin’. Christmas will be here in a blink. Here are my picks for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list this year. TRIGGER WARNING: they are all political (except one). Not sorry.

For your Nana who reminds you that she lived through the Great Depression, the Nixon administration, AND had a boss who called her “Toots.”

A darling throw pillow for her loveseat — one that tells Nana you’re on the case and are going to keep sending Planned Parenthood checks in Mike Pence’s name until your uterus is free and clear from a Handmaid’s Tale-style dystopian future. $20 on RedBubble.com

Speaking of The Handmaid’s Tale.. For your bestie who couldn’t pry her eyes away from Offred’s plight.

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” This is the message Offred found etched into the wall of her closet, and for good reason: Shit is about to get real for her, and for the rest of us IRL, let’s be honest. Show your bestie you care with this artful reminder to keep her head up and fight the good fight. Because seriously, if we have to start walking around in those starched caps saying “under his eye” under our breath… NOPE. $4.05 for a digital download you can print and frame yourself.

For your niece who’s in law school and just got “persist” tattooed on her wrist.

Nothing says I’m a badass bitch quite like a Ruth Bader Ginsburg sweatshirt. Especially when you’re following in RGB’s footsteps with a law degree and aspirations for the bench — I mean, someone has to show these asshats what the Daubert standard is. Assorted colors to choose from, $25.

For your uneducated uncle who STILL thinks Trump is gonna make anything great again.

Dumps for Trump — the ultimate dog walking accessory in the age of insanity. That is, if you’re still the kind of citizen who picks up after your pooch… we all know things have gone to such shit that it almost wouldn’t matter if you didn’t pick up your dog’s. Dispenser and 60-bag combo, $15.95

For your woke son.

Send him out into the world wearing his feminism on his sleeve… literally. Someday his wife (or husband) will thank you. $19.95

For your spouse, who gets into daily political rants and arguments on Twitter.

Give him a warm hug to wrap his frustrations — and hope — up in, in the form of a cozy hoodie. Stuff the pockets in advance with tissues, because crying is now a daily occurrance. Trump Impeachment hoodie, $47.25

For your co-worker who, in the past year, has unleashed her inner feminist and joined 13 activist groups.

This mug shows everyone in that 9am meeting who not to fuck with — and it’s your coworker. She is damn good at her job and damn sure not going to let another promotion pass her by because someone named Tucker keeps interrupting her. $12.99

For your Mother-in-Law who can’t wrap her head around any of this.

Listen, none of us can wrap our heads around any of it. I get it. And at the very least, we’ve got another year of this madness until we can take back the House and Senate (because goddamnit we’re going to do that, ok, don’t fucking pop my rainbow balloon.) So help her breathe a little this winter with some behind-the-scenes and memories from brighter times. What Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton, $13.49 and Pete Souza’s book, Obama: An Intimate Portrait, $31.45

And one last gift idea, for the Game of Thrones fangirl in your life.

The baddest t-shirt in all the land. Seriously, this one goes out to all my #TeamOlenna readers… take your GoT clout up a Heatherette-inspired notch and rock this tee to Barre class. $22 on Etsy

My 2017 Holiday Gift Guide was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Like Michael Rapaport, I too have a spiritual connection with the Real Housewives, and believe the franchise is better than anything on Comedy Central. I might even go as far as to say it’s better than most crap on TV. And over the years, I’ve learned so much from these crazy ladies. They’re like the gift that keeps on giving. It’s practically Shakespearean.

Let’s summarize all I’ve learned from the Housewives:

• Crazy is relative. Teresa Guidice wrote the book on crazy… until you meet Kelly Dodd, who’s mayor of crazytown… until you meet Shannon Beador who is next-level Girl Interrupted. The Real Housewives have a pyramid scheme business model on CRAZY. (Remember that the next time you call someone crazy for crying in the wine aisle of Target.)

• Andy Cohen is a master puppeteer angel who deserves a special place in heaven. He can breathe life into the dullest moments. I would legitimately watch anything he touches. He could premiere a show on Bravo called “Real Cinnamon of Toast Crunch” and you can bet your ass I’m watching all. Of. It.

• Husbands simply don’t belong on reality shows. They’re all lame. The whole damn franchise-worth of ’em. Just staaahhhp, Diko Sulahian. No one likes you and you look like a fool stuffing yourself into a suitcase. This is called Real Housewives, not Real Awful Husbands.

• Forget everything your mother and dermatologist told you. Always sleep in mascara and strobe cream. You must wake up like this. Highlighted brow bones are life.

• Be grateful for those friends who tell it like it is to your face and don’t wait until the talking heads interview to reveal they think you’re a bitch.

• Always assume you’re being filmed. Even if you live in bumblefuck Idaho where no one has ever even heard of a Real Housewife, always assume you’re important enough that someone’s capturing your primadonna charades at the Olive Garden. And act accordingly. (Or at the very least, have your brow bones good and highlighted for it, and really take the drama up a notch.)

• Shade. The shade! Shade will get you everywhere in Housewives land. Be strong and commit to the shade, don’t let it dangle out there like a half-assed attempt, or it will be worthless. Follow through is everything. Shade and TWIRL.

• Last but not least, nothing in life is ever so bad that you can’t rebound from it. Cases in point: Teresa Giudice, Danielle Staub, Vicki Gunvalson. Gurl get up, brush that dirt off your ill-fitting stilettos and get started on that comeback.

Things I’ve learned from the Real Housewives was originally published in ESCAPING NEW YORK on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.