In August 1994, Joanne Rowling filed a restraining order against her husband, divorced shortly afterwards, and fell into a deep depression.

Her one-year-old marriage had failed, and she suddenly found herself jobless, “as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless” and living off welfare benefits to take care of her five-month-old daughter.

A few years prior, Rowling was dealt another series of blows when her mother died from multiple sclerosis, her relationship with her father broke down and she suffered a miscarriage.

This was a far cry from the life that Rowling had hoped for, as she later noted, “I think it is fair to say that by any conventional measure…I had failed on an epic scale…The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.”

These failures led Rowling to a state of clinical depression and the verge of suicide.

But Rowling refused to roll over and die.

Shortly after leaving Portugal for the U.K., Rowling began writing her novel, whilst battling depression, fear and poverty. And in 1995, she finished her manuscript for the book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, and submitted it to book agents.

Little did she know at the time, how much her life would change afterwards.

Within a five-year period, Rowling’s novel broke book sales records in the U.S. and U.K., won the British Book Award for Children’s Book of the Year and sold seven-figure sum film rights to Warner Bros.

And over a decade later, the Harry Potter book series became the best-selling book series of all-time — over 500 million copies sold worldwide — and Rowling became the world’s first billionaire author.

How did this single mother climb out of poverty and failure to become world’s richest author? And what can we learn from this to effectively deal with failure in life and work?

Rock Bottom As the Solid Foundation For Success

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” — Tyler Durden, Fight Club.

Right from childhood, our culture and society has told us how we should think about success and failure.

As students in high school and college, we’re taught that anything less than the best grades, admission into the best colleges and recruitment by the best companies, is failure.

As employees and entrepreneurs, we’re taught that anything less than a certain high income level, promotions, top performance reviews, a boatload of money for retirement and a profitable business, is failure.

As parents and spouses, we’re taught that anything less than a happy marriage, well-brought-up children, and a large, spacious, beautiful house in the suburbs, is failure.

As a result of these beliefs, we spend the majority of our lives trying to avoid failure at all costs.

But what if failure is the very foundation for the success we strive for?

After J.K. Rowling had “failed on an epic scale” and hit rock bottom, she was left with only two choices to make: either continue to hold unto societies negative beliefs about failure or use failure as a foundation for success.

Rowling chose the latter and later explained that, “rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

In her 2008 Harvard Commencement Address on the ‘Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination,’ Rowling further explains that:

“Failure was a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me.

Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea.”

Re-framing failure as a foundation for success, gave Rowling the confidence to bounce back and pursue her dreams again, and the freedom to do so without the worry of what other people would think.

Avoid the Pity Party Trap and Take Full Responsibility

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

— Sigmund Freud

It’s easy to wallow in self-pity, point the finger at other people and avoid taking full responsibility for a failure.

But avoidance of responsibility does not liberate, it enslaves.

True freedom requires taking full responsibility for past, current and future actions. And it is only after doing so, that we are free to change the destiny of our lives and bounce back from failure.

At her lowest point, Rowling woke up every morning with severe depression, and a crippling fear that her two-year-old daughter, whom she loved dearly, would be dead: “It was almost a surprise to me every morning that she was still alive. I kept expecting her to die. It was a bad bad time.”

Rowling — like most people in her unfortunate situation — could’ve thrown a pity party after her catastrophic failures, but instead, she chose to take full responsibility for her actions, and rebuild her life from scratch.

Shortly afterwards, despite her poor living conditions, Rowling finished writing the manuscript for the Harry Potter novel, which turned her fortunes around.

Imagine for a second what could’ve happened to Rowling and her two-year-old daughter, if Rowling refused to take full responsibility for her life.

Today, Rowling would still be living off state benefits, still struggling to make ends meet, and an entire generation of children would never have heard of Harry Potter.

Treat Failure Like A Scientist

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
― Thomas A. Edison

In 1995, after Rowling finished her manuscript for Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, she began to submit her novel to publishing houses.

The book was submitted to twelve publishing houses. All twelve rejected the manuscript.

But these failures didn’t stop Rowling from chasing her dreams. She got back on her feet and kept trying again.

Rowling submitted her novel for the 13th time to Bloomsbury, a publishing house in London. This time however, her novel was accepted and published.

When asked how she stayed motivated to push through the book rejections, Rowling said, “I had nothing to lose and sometimes that makes you brave enough to try.”

Just like a scientist, Rowling saw failure as a data point to help guide the next experiment, rather than an indication of her self-worth.

She saw failure as a cost to pay on the path to finding the right answers.

Rowling treated failure like a scientist, and that’s why she kept trying, again and again, until she succeeded.

Let Failure Fuel Your Fire

But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”

―Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

The truth is, failure isn’t your enemy to be ‘dealt’ with, it’s your friend and ally, to be embraced and used to fuel every future effort you make.

Whether you’ve failed as a student, parent, spouse, business owner, writer, or athlete, remember that failure doesn’t define who you are, it’s the solid foundation to build your future success upon.

Rowling’s story from rags to riches is a reminder that failure presents an opportunity to freely pursue your goals without inhibition and worry about what others think about you.

Failure is the proof that you are capable of succeeding at whatever it is that you set your eyes on. And in parting words from J.K.Rowling on the benefits of failure:

“Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive.

You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.”

Mayo Oshin writes at MayoOshin.com, where he shares practical ideas on how to make better decisions, think and live better, by exploring the intersection of science, art, and philosophy. You can join his free weekly newsletter here.

Read Next

• The 8 Most Effective Ways to Get Back on Track After You Messed Up (And Finally Stay There).

FOOTNOTES

1. J.K. Rowling Harvard Commencement Speech, ‘The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination.’

2. Rowling on suicidal thoughts, The Independent.

3. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and Depression, published by HBC Protocols

4. Rowling posts letters of rejections on Twitter.

5. Rowling’s comments on persistence through failure via twitter.

Originally published at mayooshin.com on January 17, 2019.

J.K. Rowling on How to Deal With Failure in Life and Work was originally published in MayoOshin.Com on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

In 1902, a young, depressed and solemn, 21-year-old, Albert Einstein, was on the verge of giving up on his dream of becoming a physicist.

Six years prior, Einstein had enrolled in a Mathematics and Physics teaching diploma at the Swiss Federal Polytechnic in Zurich, Switzerland: where he frequently skipped classes and spent his spare time wooing girls, whilst playing his violin at ladies luncheons and cocktail parties.

As a result of his devil-may-care attitude, Einstein’s professors cast him aside as a lazy student destined for a mediocre career in Physics.

And after graduating, Einstein couldn’t get a job — in fact, he was passed over a job role as a lab assistant, and even contemplated selling insurance. [1]

After two frustrating years of job hunting, Einstein moved to Bryne, the capital of Switzerland, to work as a clerk in the Swiss patent office.

Working six days a week as a patent clerk, Einstein could barely find any time to develop his scientific ideas, and would eventually give up on a career in Physics.

Or would he?

In March 1905, Einstein submitted a paper that challenged the general consensus that light was a wave, and instead proposed that it was a particle.

Two months later in May 1905, Einstein submitted a second paper. This time he challenged widely held beliefs that atoms didn’t exist, and provided proofs of their existence.

But Einstein wasn’t done yet.

In June 1905, Einstein submitted a third paper — the granddaddy of them all.

Einstein proposed the idea that time and space were the same, and formalized his thoughts as the special theory of relativity.

Then, in September 1905, Einstein published a fourth paper as a follow-up to the previous one.

He suggested that mass and energy were equivalent, and derived the most famous equation in the history of mankind: E=MC².

In the years to come, these four papers — produced during “Einstein’s Miracle Year” — would radically transform the way humans understand the world.

And by the end of his career, Einstein would publish over 300 scientific papers, receive a Nobel Prize in Physics and firmly establish himself as one of the greatest physicists of all time.

So, here’s a puzzling question:

How is it possible that this failed scientist and unknown 26-year-old clerk destined for a mediocre life, could suddenly produce four groundbreaking papers within the span of a year, that would change the course of history?

And what’s the most important lesson on productivity and success, we can learn from Einstein?

A young Albert Einstein working as a clerk in Bern, Switzerland, 1905. Photo by Lucien Chavan , public domain.

The Cult of Extreme Productivity

“If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.”

― Jean-Paul Sartre

We live in a world that rewards busyness and the idea of ‘getting things done’: an addictive rat race to cross off as many things from your to-do list, as fast as possible.

Because of this viral hype, we bury ourselves in busyness and attempt to achieve much more than we’re capable of.

Each day, we create unrealistic expectations to respond to every single email in our inbox, spend quality time with our family and friends, exercise, read a book, sleep by 10 a.m. and so on.

But, these superhuman attempts to get so much done and the constant bombardment of new productivity tips, hacks and gadgets, leads to procrastination, stress, burnout and disappointment.

And worse of all, the cult of extreme productivity has robbed us off the ability of enjoying our own company.

A study conducted at the University of Virginia, discovered that participants would rather subject themselves to electric shocks, than be left alone with their thoughts. [2]

Likewise in our everyday lives, we distract ourselves with social media, emails, new goals and ideas, to avoid being alone with our thoughts.

The cult of extreme productivity has sold us the lie that boredom should be avoided at all costs, and doing nothing at all is an unproductive strategy for lazy people.

Yet, it is during moments of solitude that we can discover ingenious solutions to familiar problems and gain clarity to make better decisions.

A Time to Do Nothing But Be Alone

In his book, Einstein: His Life and Universe (audiobook), biographer and historian, Walter Isaacson shares Einstein’s thoughts on the need for solitude:

“I am truly a ‘lone traveler’ and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude.” [3]

From his youth, Einstein had a habit of spending a lot of time away from his friends, family and work, to do nothing but think.

He would regularly go for long walks, wander off to quiet cabins in the mountains, play his violin, or sail in the seas with his wooden boat to find serenity.

It was during these moments of solitude that Einstein would discover ingenious solutions to difficult problems:

“He would often play his violin in his kitchen late at night, improvising melodies while he pondered complicated problems. Then, suddenly in the middle of playing, he would announce excitedly, I’ve got it!” [4]

Ironically, Einstein often lamented about the distractions of communication devices his discoveries later created.

In a letter to his friend, he wrote, “How conducive to thinking and working the long sea voyage is — a paradisaical state without correspondence, visits, meetings, and other inventions of the devil!” [5]

If Einstein were alive today, he’d be labelled a loner in need of more social time. But, without his solitude he’d never have achieved an extraordinary level of success in his lifetime.

Coincidentally, throughout history, there’s a theme of great thinkers — leaders, scientists, entrepreneurs, writers, religious figures, artists — who regularly sought solitude to rejuvenate and refine their thoughts: Leonardo Da Vinci, Martin Luther King, Nietzsche, Jesus Christ, Nikola Tesla and Ernest Hemingway, to name a few.

Likewise, practicing solitude would help to improve our productivity, creativity and decision-making in everyday life.

For example, I take daily walks in a quiet park, travel without my headphones, and spend a few days in the woods once every couple of months.

And I can say without a shadow of doubt, that my breakthrough ideas and clarity on crucial life decisions, have shown up during these moments of solitude.

Simply block out a few minutes each day to be alone and do nothing at all.

By doing so, you’ll tap into your inner genius and uncover the most effective ways to take action.

Embrace Solitude

“Writing, at its best, is a lonely life.”

— Ernest Hemingway

In our pursuit of ‘getting more things done,’ we’ve lost sight of the true meaning of productivity.

Productivity isn’t about getting more things done, rather it’s about getting the right things done, while doing less.

The best way to figure out the right things to focus on and the best ways to tackle them, is to spend more time alone with your thoughts and embrace solitude.

And just like Einstein, you’ll achieve much more and unleash your potential.

Mayo Oshin writes at MayoOshin.com, where he shares practical self-improvement ideas backed by proven science, philosophy and art. To get these ideas for better habits and decision-making, you can join his free weekly newsletter here.

Footnotes

1. Michio Kaku, Physics of the Impossible (2008).

2.Wilson et al (2014). Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind. Science (New York, N.Y.). 345. 75–7. 10.1126/science.1250830.

3. Walter Isaacson, Einstein: His Life and Universe (2007)

4. Johanna Fantova, Journal of conversations with Einstein, Jan. 23, 1954, in Calaprice, 354.

5. The Travel Diaries of Albert Einstein: The Far East, Palestine, and Spain, 1922–1923

6. The period in which Einstein produced the groundbreaking papers is referred to as Einstein’s miracle year. To put this in context, over the lifetime of a physicists career, publishing any two of Einstein’s groundbreaking papers would have been an outstanding career, let alone producing four of them within the time period of a year!

7. By the age of 12 years old, einstein also independently discovered his own original proof of the Pythagorean theorem, and by the age of 15 years old, he had mastered calculus on his own.

Originally published at mayooshin.com on December 3, 2018.

Einstein on the Only Productivity Tip You’ll Ever Need to Know. was originally published in MayoOshin.Com on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

After four painful years of training in archery, Herrigel had grown impatient with his lack of progress, and was on the verge of quitting.

Four years prior (during the 1920s), Eugen Herrigel, a German professor, took a leap of faith and moved his entire family to Japan, in hopes of learning the Japanese tradition of Zen in Archery.

Herrigel had everything planned out: he’d teach philosophy at the University of Tokyo and master the art of archery within a few years.

And after much protesting and pleading, Herrigel convinced the legendary Japanese archer, Master Kenzo Awa, to take him on as a pupil in Kyudo, the Japanese martial art of archery.

Like most people who pursue a new goal, Herrigel was excited, highly motivated and a tad bit overconfident in his archery abilities.

But as the years passed by, Herrigel struggled to improve at his desired pace (in fact, for years he was only allowed to shoot at a roll of straw rather than a target) and he began to lose his focus and motivation.

One day, in his fourth year of training, a frustrated Herrigel grumbled to the Master that his stay at Japan was limited and time was running out.

The Master calmly replied, “The way to the goal is not to be measured! Of what importance are weeks, months, years?”

Herrigel nodded and made a resolution that he’d stop worrying about his goals, and shift his entire focus to practice instead.

Day in and day out for months, Herrigel would pick up his bow and arrow, and shoot. It didn’t matter how motivated he felt, or how badly he missed his targets, he’d still show up to practice.

And then one day, Herrigel received a special invite from Master Kenzo, to participate in the final archery test he’d spent the last five years training to pass.

During a spectacular ceremony, in front of a large crowd, Herrigel tuned out all distractions, and effortlessly executed on the test exercises, just like he’d practiced over the years.

A short distance away, Master Kenzo smiled like a proud father, walked up to Herrigel with a diploma and said to him:

“You have now reached a stage where teacher and pupil are no longer two persons, but one. You can separate from me anytime you wish…I need not ask you to keep up your regular practicing.”

Herrigel was relieved. His hard work had paid off and he’d finally achieved his goal. But, this couldn’t have been possible without the help of Master Kenzo, who taught him how to master the art of focus.

Here’s what Herrigel learned about mastering the art of focus and concentration during his 5 years spent with Master Kenzo Awa.

Master Kenzo’s effortless focus and concentration in action. By unknown photographer. (Image Source: Henry and Nancy Rosin Collection of Early Photography of Japan)

Aim Without Aiming

“The right art …is purposeless, aimless! The more obstinately you try to learn how to shoot the arrow for the sake of hitting the goal, the less you will succeed…What stands in your way is that you think that what you do not do yourself does not happen,” exclaimed Master Kenzo during a lesson.

At the time, Herrigel couldn’t make any sense of this. He thought: how can you hit a target without aiming at or focusing on it?

For a few months, Herrigel practiced shooting without taking aim, but most of his shots missed the target. And he was becoming increasingly frustrated.

One day, Herrigel complained to Master Kenzo about his failure to hit the goal, the Master replied, “I see the goal as though I did not see it.” Herrigel had had enough of the Master’s unsatisfactory responses and blurted out, “Then you ought to be able to hit it blindfolded!”

Master Kenzo slowly turned his head towards Herrigel and in a firm tone said, “Come to see me this evening.”

That evening, Herrigel met the Master at the practice hall. Very few words were exchanged.

Master Kenzo slowly bent over, picked up his bow and arrow, walked up to a spot, spread his legs in a ceremonial fashion and took aim at a target in pitch-dark.

Within a few seconds, Herrigel heard two quiet thuds. He sprung off the floor and swiftly rushed to switch on the lights.

To his amazement, Master Kenzo had hit the target straight in the middle with both shots without being able to see it.

It was on that day that Herrigel learned an important piece of wisdom from the legendary archer on mastering the art of focus and concentration, that is:

Do not focus on the goal, focus on Zanshin instead.

Master the Relaxed Art of Zanshin

Zanshin is a word used in Japanese martial arts to refer to a state of relaxed alertness.

The literal translation of Zanshin means “the mind with no remainder.” It describes a state of mind when there is complete focus and awareness of the body.

During his early lessons with Master Kenzo, Herrigel struggled to achieve Zanshin.

Each time he picked up the bow, he’d use considerable force to bend it, his hands would tremble, and he’d run out of breath.

One day, whilst Herrigel was drawing the bow in his usual tiresome fashion, Master Kenzo calmly said to him, “Relax!..You cannot do it..because you do not breathe right. If it is done properly, you will feel the shooting becoming easier every day.”

Herrigel took note, but didn’t yet understand the profound wisdom of the Master.

A few months later, Herrigel lamented that he’d tried tirelessly to stay focused and relaxed, but couldn’t do so. The Master replied, “That’s just the trouble, you make an effort to think about it. Concentrate entirely on your breathing, as if you had nothing else to do!”

After a year of trial and error, Herrigel finally learned how to stay focused, draw the bow and release it, in a completely relaxed manner.

He mastered the art of Zanshin and achieved his goals as a by-product.

In his book, Zen in the Art of Archery (audiobook), Herrigel describes the details of his story and explains how Zanshin led to his significant improvement in archery:

“So that was it: not a technical trick I had tried in vain to pick up, but liberating breath−control with new and far−reaching possibilities.”

Herrigel didn’t focus on his goals or even his knowledge, he just focused on Zanshin, and this enabled him to focus on a task at hand, despite a million and one distractions:

“The more one concentrates on breathing, the more the external stimuli fade into the background.”

Therein lies the secret to mastering the art of focus and concentration.

The more relaxed the state of our mind and body, the more likely we’ll stay focused, avoid distractions and achieve our goals in the process.

It’s so simple, yet so profound.

Focus on Zanshin

In the seventeenth-century, legendary Zen master, Takuan Soho, suggested that the difference between a beginner and Master swordsman isn’t skill or knowledge, but focus.

Whilst the beginner swordsman focuses on his goals and overthinks how he can best hit his opponent, the Master swordsman is completely detached not only from the opponent, but also himself.

The Master swordsman intentionally shifts his focus away from the goal, towards his body and mind in a state of relaxed awareness that is Zanshin.

It’s from this place of Zanshin that the master swordsman effortlessly focuses on a target and achieves his goals, even when he can’t see the target.

And two hundred plus years later, the legendary archer, Master Kenzo Awa, successfully passed on this ancient wisdom of Zanshin to Herrigel.

By shifting our focus away from the outcome and towards the process, we can significantly improve the odds of achieving success in whatever we do.

The next time you’re struggling to stay focused on your work, relationships, health or finances, just remember this: forget the goal, aim without aiming and Zanshin.

The internet is noisy. Want to cut through the noise and feed your brain with well-researched ideas to improve your focus and productivity? Join 10,000+ smart, curious minds and get your brain food at The Smarter Brain newsletter.

Footnotes

1. The power of proper breathing cannot be overstated for breaking bad habits and developing the willpower to resist distractions.

2. Rare video footage of the traditional Zen archery.

Originally published at mayooshin.com

Lessons on How to Master the Art of Focus and Concentration From a Legendary Japanese Archer was originally published in MayoOshin.Com on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

By the time he was 13 years old, Michael Gerard Tyson had been arrested 38 times and was sentenced to a Juvenile center in upstate New York.

Tyson was a far cry from the typical profile of a juvenile delinquent: he was pudgy, extremely shy, spoke with a lisp, and was afraid of getting into fights.

In fact, he was regularly beaten up by neighborhood bullies who dubbed him the ‘Little Fairy Boy.’

Like most street kids at the time, Tyson was raised by an alcoholic mother and grew up in Brownsville, Brooklyn, a rough neighborhood that resembled the wild west — imagine movie scenes of people shooting one another, police cars and ambulances ringing deafening sirens whilst speeding down streets, robbers breaking windows, and young kids selling drugs to hookers.

Given that Tyson was a product of his environment, the odds of him escaping a destined life of crime, drug dealing and early death, were slim to none.

But as luck would have it, Tyson’s fate would change when he was brought to the attention of the legendary boxing coach, Cus D’amato.

The Iron Mike Rule

Cus D’amato was a short, bald-headed, stern faced, Italian boxing trainer, who like Tyson, also grew up in a rough neighborhood in the Bronx, New York.

Tyson would later describe D’amato as a complex and dark figure who didn’t have a “happy muscle in his face.” [1]

D’amato’s astounding resume spoke for itself: he had successfully managed, trained and bred two heavyweight champions, Floyd Patterson and Jose Torres.

On March 1980, Tyson met face to face with D’amato in an old musky boxing gym, filled with weather-beaten newspapers plastered across the walls of a converted meeting hall, located above a police station in Catskill, New York.

After a sparring session in a small ring — during which Tyson was punched in the nose and bled profusely — D’amato invited Tyson to lunch at his white Victorian house.

During the meal, D’amato turned his head towards Tyson and said, “If you listen to me, I can make you the youngest heavyweight champion of all time.”

Tyson flinched at the baffling words of the 70-year-old man he had just met, but committed himself to be under the tutelage and rigorous training regime of D’amato.

Day in and day out, Tyson would wake up at 4 a.m, run for 3 to 5 miles, and train tirelessly in the gym for up to 55 hours, and 200 rounds of sparring each week.

As he later noted in an interview, “no one wants to get up and run at 4 in the morning when it’s pitch dark, but it has to be done, and the only reason I do it so early is because I believe the other guy isn’t doing it. And that gives me a little edge.” [2]

In the evenings, Tyson would spend hours watching and studying the fight videos of the best fighters at the time. And by 9.30 p.m. on most days, he went to bed and fell asleep.

For the next several years, Tyson would repeat this tiresome and boring daily routine every single day.

And eventually, his efforts paid off.

By 1982, Tyson had beaten every amateur boxing opponent he faced. And on November 22, 1986, a 20-year-old Mike Tyson, knocked out a 33-year-old Trevor Berbick — in just five minutes and 35 seconds — to become the youngest heavyweight champion in the history of boxing.

D’amato’s prophecy had come true and by the end of his boxing career, “Iron Mike” Tyson was inducted in the boxing hall of fame, recognized as one of the greatest boxers of all time.

When asked to share the secret to his success, Tyson turned to the wisdom of his late trainer and father figure, Cus D’amato, and explained The Iron Mike Rule:

“Do what you hate to do, but do it like you love it.”

The Problem With Success Porn

Within a few seconds of logging onto the internet, we’re bombarded with images of people with zero fat, lean perfect bodies, happy and loving relationships, a job that they love every single moment working, a thriving business making millions of dollars in profits and a Lamborghini parked in front of a 20-acre home in The Hamptons overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.

But, is this reality?

The problem is that more so than ever, the results of success are highly visible, glamorized and deceptive.

Just scroll through the images on your social media feeds and it would appear as if everyone else apart from yourself is enjoying success in life.

But in reality, these images are only a highlight reel of people’s best moments. The remaining 99% of their lives are as boring and repetitive as yours.

To add insult to injury, ‘success gurus’ promote their lifestyles, and ‘must-buy’ self help books and products that will teach you the ‘hidden secrets’ of success.

Not only do these glamorized images of success create feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction with our lives, they also overvalue the results and undervalue the difficulties of achieving success.

And so, when times are tough and you’re falling behind on your goals, it’s much easier to give up than to stay consistent and finish what you start, because of the unrealistic expectations created by these images.

But the irony of this all is that it’s the process behind the scenes — which we’re often blind to and the media hardly promotes — that creates the visible success that we glamorize.

The Unsexy Path to Success

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t”

― Jerry Rice

On June 2, 2017, I published my first article on MayoOshin.Com.

At the time I had zero readers and very little experience building an audience online (in fact, I had catastrophically failed to launch previous online projects).

My plan was simple: every week (till forever), I’d write and publish a new article.

It didn’t matter how badly written the article was, or what tragedies occurred in my personal life that killed my motivation to write, or how afraid I was of failure and criticism, I was committed to publishing at least one new article each week.

During the first six months of writing, my website was a ghost town. Only a small handful of people — a few friends and family who had pity on me, and maybe a stray cat — read my articles.

And although I enjoyed the process of writing, I found myself spending the bulk of my time doing the things I didn’t enjoy: researching, editing and marketing for up to 25 hours per article.

After the first year of writing, my work finally started to gain a little traction, and was distributed by media publications.

Slowly but surely, more people aside from my friends and family, started to read and share my articles.

Almost one hundred articles and two years later, I am extremely grateful that today over 100,000+ people worldwide read my work each month.

I share my story not to gain bragging rights, or even to label myself a “success,” but to emphasize the power of consistency in achieving our goals.

The path to success isn’t glamorous or sexy. In fact, for the most part, it’s unsexy: boring, repetitive and drawn-out.

The difference between successful people and everyone else, is that they’ve learned to fall in love with the process of consistently doing the unsexy work that others aren’t willing to do.

For example:

If you want to be a successful author, learn to fall in love with the lonely process of writing for months and years, the paralysis of researching ideas for your book, and the tedious process of revising, editing and marketing your work after it’s published.

If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, learn to fall in love with the lonely process of working on your business for months and years without profits, the tedious process of hiring and firing, marketing and sales, and pivoting your business.

If you want to get into great shape, learn to fall in love with the tedious process of counting calories, cooking and eating boring meals, exercising 3 to 5 times a week, and going to bed early.

Over the short period of a week or month, the advantage is marginal. But, over a time span of five to 10 years, the gulf between the person who consistently does what others won’t do and the person who doesn’t, is ginormous!

Fall in Love With the Process

“Everyone wants to be successful until they see what it actually takes.”

— Unknown

We’ve all heard the saying that “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” wise words that capture the idea that time is all it takes to achieve great things.

But that’s not the whole story.

Just like how Rome was built through the tedious process of laying one brick at a time for many years, success is built by consistently doing the work that others aren’t willing to do.

The difference between successful people and everyone else, is that they’ve fallen in love with the process of pursuing their goals and the hardship that comes with it — the boredom, drudgery, loneliness, criticisms and failures.

And most importantly they’ve embraced the The Iron Mike Rule which reminds them to:

“Do what you hate to do, but do it like you love it.”

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FOOTNOTES

1. Undisputed Truth: My Autobiography by Mike Tyson [Audiobook]
2. Tyson’s training routine video.
3. Iron Mike: My life with Cus D’amato
4. The moment 20-year-old Tyson became the Heavy Weight boxing champion of the world: video.

Originally published at mayooshin.com

The Iron Mike Rule: The One Thing Successful People Do Differently was originally published in MayoOshin.Com on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.