Another story for you readers. If you have not read part one, please check that one out first. This is more a diary than anything. There will be some parts of it in Indonesian, but mostly in English.

What is Expectation?

According to the dictionary (digital wise) says:

1. A strong belief that something will happen or be the case
2. another value for expected value in mathematics.

What are the synonyms of Expectation? assumption, belief, supposition, presupposition, trust, hope and etc. But let me ask you something… What do you expect from your life? How do you live to that expectations of yours? Does the things you do work out for you? Are you and I grateful enough for having such a life? For these questions, you can answer them to yourself.

As I have mentioned from my very first publish “Expectations in Life,” I mentioned that this world is design to break your hearts, which is true, but in what way? Have a moment to think about the possibilities of things that does not make your desires pleased. It can be the way you are living, the community that you are surrounded with, the friend groups that you are in, perhaps your job or your coworkers and many more. The title is so advance that the meaning can lead to multiple or several things. So I will discuss the “Expectations in Life” of what I meant in this publish.

Mental and Physical Health

Why am I mentioning this… that will be answered in a moment. When we expect something from something, it can cause to drain our mental and physical health, depending on the results of what we expect from, for example you worked so hard in your job and you expect to get extra paid, and two outcomes are possible or even three: (1) You will get extra paid; (2) You won’t get extra paid; or (3) You might get in but not on the spot. Depending which results comes first, our body and our mind will react first. If you get extra paid, you will feel the sign of relieved and joy that you made a good use towards the effort that you have put in, while for the second option, you may get assumptions of not getting it any time sooner. Later on, you will feel less motivated, the decrease of productivity and your high hopes will slowly disappear. As for the third possibility, it can be similar to the second’s reaction; however, if you keep up the good work and your motivation is high, even if you did not receive that extra money, you may get them in 2 or three months or you will have something far better than that extra money.

That was just an example to what I am about to give my reasoning as to why our expectations can cause our mental and physical health. A friend of mine who was completely down, to the point they do not see the bright sides of life… and I tried my best to comfort the person. I do not know if it reached out to her but here is what I wrote:

nah, it’s just how we handle the situation. When we think of luck, we always look at it on the bright side e.g. [ If I get paid well, maybe I can afford something really nice] or [If I get good grades, my mother will buy me a new phone] but when it situation is down hill, we’d blame ourselves and god. Complaining, overthinking, underestimating and think negatively; hence being ungrateful to what we have been working so hard on for. e.g. [ I didn’t get paid very well, maybe I should work harder/ I didn’t get paid very well, this job sucks] or [I failed my exams and my mother keeps yelling at me/ I failed, but it’s okay. I am still learning]

e.g My mother got angry at me for not coming home while my friend could. but I had a hunch that my classes will have offline classes during the holidays which it turned out to be true. Another is, when I don’t have good grade, let’s say a 70 or an 80 out of a 100, and people’s expectation from me is 100. I said to myself, I’m grateful for having 70 than a 0, but I am more grateful to have a 0 than 100, meaning that I did something wrong and it is not too late to fix it e.g. I may not be the best person in the world, but I can be the best to some people, in their eye. e.g I may not have the best luck, but I shouldn’t think of it as my luck charm. I should remind myself that this happen because God didn’t want it to happen. God may bring your wishes in the Overworld, because he can grant it. If He cannot, then He may give it to you in Heaven. If He cannot, He may give you something far better than the wish you have wished for. If He still didn’t give it to you, then He knows what is best for you.

Friendships and Trust

As for this part, it is more personal and I am glad to share this while I can. Earlier, I have no clue as to why my friend had the urge to say and about to send something like that to me:

Even if you retaliating for a very just reason you will look like a jerk. I hate it when anyone asks me side with them (aka choose me or you’re not my friend.) Please do not make me choose sides Rinn(What people calls me)

From this message I have so many questions and this was because of a certain friend who reacts or over reacts to certain situations both on their real life situations and on the media, and I asked this friend why, and they replied “No,” and I said “okie, I won’t force you.” The next day they explained to me what was the reason, and I could not give an immediate answer. It took my some time to think, and there is one thing that made me a little be irritated but I cannot force them at all.

I remembered a time where back in high school, I had my worst and last drama before graduation. It was a clear misunderstanding, and when I tried to apologies for what they think I have done, their answer was “Maaf itu tidak cukup” (an apology is not enough) so I asked them “what do you want me to do then?” and they said “Keluar aja dari grup ini” (leave the study group) and so I did. Of course this memory of mine will remain in my because they did not hear or try to understand the situation with my and my best friend. I am not going to tell you the entire part from before the conversation that I have written, because I might get into trouble for another random cause… on that same day, my closest teacher, knew something happened to me and told those friends of mine to make an apology. I listened to them yet they barely gave me the chance to explain, though I also thought of it’s worthless to tell them what happen because it will be a very big gossip in school. So I didn’t went home with my cousin and she was also involve in this and not supported or asked my why or what happen… I instead called for my mother to pick me up and told her… her response was to also say “Your apology is not enough” and I shook my head as I listen to her lecturing me about how harsh is life. on that same night, one of the guys in the study group also messaged me saying that he and on behalf of everyone there said sorry. It took me some time to think, and I remember something that I have always said when I was bored back when I was a kid in Australia… I kept saying “La taghdob walakal jannah” (Jangan marah bagimu surga) meaning “Don’t be angry for you heaven” As a kid, this Arabic saying was stuck in my head, to the point it hurts my head when I am angry. I was crying in front of my best friend when my friends told me to leave the study group and my best friend asked why… I brushed it off saying “I’m fine, it’s okay…” and on that night, I was also crying and I do not know how should I answer… so I gave out s sticker saying “Ok” nothing more.

So for this friend of mine, I also said “mhm okiee” and didn’t gave out more or less than that. As for my other friend who tried to send this message to me saying that I have a retaliation against something… I said this:

Iya begini ya… Aku tidak menyuruh kamu untuk pilih teman. Aku juga pun tidak berharap kamu untuk membantuku kalau aku yang perlu bantuan kamu. Aku juga pun tidak berharap kamu untuk menjaga rahasia-rahasia aku. Setiap orang itu sikap-sikap dan sifat-sifat nya berbeda. Allah SWT membuat kita sebagainya. Iya bukan? Aku pun tau sih [A] orang nya bergitu, tapi kalau melarikan diri gara gara perasaannya negatif bangat, siapa yang ingin berkomunikasi dengan mereka kecuali orangnya juga berpikir gitu. Dunia ini memang sangat sulit. Dunia ini diciptakan khusus untuk menyakitin hati kita, kenapa? Biar kita kuat dalam perjalanan kita. It’s like this… I’m not telling you to choose a friend. I also don’t expect you to help me if I need your help. Nor do I expect you to keep my secrets. Everyone has different attitudes and traits. Allah SWT made us so. Isn’t that right? I also know that [A] is that kind of person, but if you run away because your feelings are so negative, who wants to communicate with them unless the person thinks that too. This world is very difficult indeed. This world was created specifically to hurt our hearts, why? Let us be strong in our journey.

Kalau aku sudah maafkan [A] di dalam hati, soalnya tidak ada gunanya untuk membenci orang yang aku tidak bisa bermanfaat untuk bagi aku sendiri. Kita berbeda dan dalam berpikiran kan berbeda. Apa lagi dia bukan Umat Allah SWT, kalau aku iri dengan orang, itu harus orang yang paling dekat dengan Tuhan saya. Kalau sih [A] berpikir bergitu, iya tidak akan bermaju sebagai manusia. I have forgiven [A] in my heart, because there is no point in hating people who I can’t be useful for myself. We are different and we think differently. What’s more he is not the People of Allah SWT, if I envy people, it must be the person who is closest to my Lord. If [A] thinks like that, he won’t be progressing as a human.

Kamu kan sudah tahu agama aku adalah apa dan saya bakal kasih kamu contoh yang baik. “Tidak ada berguna nya kalau kamu benci makhluk hidup yang Allah menciptakan.” Walaupun kalian tidak seagama, kalian tetap aja manusia yang Allah SWT menciptakan. Ini lah orang Muslim. Kita coba berfikir yang paling mudah. Hidup sudah sulit, dan kenapa mau buat tambah sulit? You already know what my religion is and I will give you a good example. “It is useless if you hate the living creatures that Allah created.” Even though you are not of the same religion, you are still humans who Allah SWT created. These are Muslims. We try to think of the easiest. Life is already hard, and why do you want to make it harder?

This is what I answered to them when I am on a monthly thing. I was aware that I am having it and I know it is challenging not to swear or think irrational and feel too emotional. So I put a lot of thought into it because a part of me is also confused to why they thought of it that way.

For those of my study group friends and they read this, this vivid memory will forever be stuck in my head, as it hurt me so much on that day of that year, to the point I am scared to even make Indonesian friends because of this. I know myself that I cannot take criticism , and harsh compliments but I do take it with me and made an effort to understand. I would read it before I respond. I would react before I make a move… I am extremely sensitive and I know, but I cannot let them get to me that easily and fall.

Great Islamic Videos that I watch recently:

Expectation in Life Part 2 | Harapan di dalam Hidup Part2 was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

To start off, do you know what causes the stress that you have temporarily? If you know, has any of the methods that friends or families suggested to you works? If you have a way to cope with stress, is it effective? Have you considered this stress a part of your emotions?

The relationship between the two “Stress” and “Emotions” are both physiological and psychological, meaning that stress can occur from the physical changes in your nervous system and from the emotions you feel.

Modern researchers added information towards Hans Selye about the Environmental stressors for example heat, pain and danger produces a general adaptation syndrome. They added how our bodies reacted towards stress or feel like they are in danger. According to what Selye argued that the general adaptation syndrome which the body responds has three stages: Alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. If the body cannot handle or feel overwhelm about the stress that they have, it will lead to illnesses in result.

What about unemployment and poverty? Unfortunately the stress levels will increase, so will the chance of getting ill. However, it depends on each individual’s own genetic predispositions.

Most people can tolerate with all kinds of stressors if they feel able to predict or control them which is why the people who has the greatest control over their work and activities will encounter fewer illnesses and stress symptoms.

What about our emotions?

It was stated that facial expression is common to detect emotions and some facial expressions are known across cultures such as anger, fear, happiness, sadness, surprised, contempt, pride and disgust.

Many aspects or side of emotion are associated with specific parts of the brain.

The amygdala evaluates incoming emotions, especially with anger and fear. The left prefrontal cortex specialize in anger and happiness while the right prefrontal cortex specialize in disgust and fear.

When having the experience of any emotions, (it) referring to the autonomic system spurs production of the hormones epinephrine and norepinephrine, produces a state of physiological arousal to prepare the body for an output of energy. This is once the brain areas are associated with emotion are activated, it will release those hormones to make you respond quickly.

What is also mentioned from many psychologists that all humans share the ability to experience a few basic emotion; however, cultural differences in values, norms and appraisals generate emotion blends and cultural-specific emotional variations. For example, the Germans have schadenfreude, Japanese have hagaii, and the Tahitians have mehcameha. Culture also influences the causes of emotion and shapes their expression. Another example is that Japanese smiles more than Americans, to disguise embarrassment, anger or other negative emotions. A common gender stereotype towards emotions is:

“Women are too emotional” men often complains.

“Men are too cool” women give in response.

What does “too emotional” mean? In US, women are more likely than men to suffer from clinical depression, but both sexes are equally likely to report feeling the everyday emotions of anger, worry, embarrassment, anxiety, jealousy, love, pride or grief (Archer, 2004; Deffenbacher et al., 2003; Fischer et al., 1993; Harris, 2003; Kring & Gordan, 1998; Shield, 2005).

For example, white women are more likely to feel guilt and shame about their bodies, sex and food compared to men.

For some time, researchers consider depression could also lead to cancer which thought to be true: Cancer can cause depression. Cancer tumors produce high levels of a chemical that can cause the emotional and behavioral symptoms of depression.

Can positive emotions give health and long life?

Positive emotions could be beneficial because they can soften the high arousal caused by negative emotions or chronic stressors physically. People who express positive feelings are also more likely to attract friends and supporters than those who are always bitter and brooding and as social support is also one of the most powerful contributors to good health.

Coping with Stress

There’s four ways of reducing stress and negative emotions:

1. meditation and exercise.
2. problem-focused coping rather than emotion-focused coping.
3. rethinking the problem by: reappraising the situation or symptoms of stress, learning from the experience and comparing yourself to others; and
4. drawing on social support or giving it to others, although the wrong kind of social support can be detrimental.

Talk a little Deeper into Certain Topics was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This is dedicated to My Mother and Proxy, a dear friend of mine

Relating to what I did post on instagram, I think it is time to properly announce some things that not many people nor myself have discovered fully into details of stress, burn outs, depression and mental disorders. It is said that, we feel unproductive at times when both our mental and physical health are not in good shapes; hence why we tend to bail on our duties and focus on other things for example, having other activities that is not related to the previous activity, partying at a friend’s house and so forth. On the other hand, some may sulk into fear, anxiety and depression by doing unreasonable actions to make them feel better or to make them more miserable than they already have such as self doubts, negative thoughts, underestimating oneself and others and so on. Although there are people who tend to give out solutions for the time being of other’s needs, not everyone can feel the connectivity and the feel of getting over it.

Emotions

Emotions are physiological changes in the face, body and the brain. It can also be caused both cultural and social context from inner experience and the outward expression of an emotion. Everywhere on the planet, people feel certain basic emotions including fear, anger, sadness, joy, surprise, disgust, shame, embarrassment, and contempt (Izard,2007; Keltner & Buswell, 1997). Which includes the perception of each emotions for instance, sadness all over the world is felt during a loss, fear is felt during the presence of being threat by and bodily harm, anger is felt due to insults or injustice. (Scherer, 1997).

How the Mind and Culture connects with Emotions

In logical sense, our emotions is created based off of how we see the situation and how we can process that into our understanding. For example, person A got a new phone and showed it off to their friends. Friend A feels excited and wants to learn more about the new phone before buying it. Friend B just kindly congratulate them and moves on. Friend C also congratulate them but felt jealous of not having it. In this situation, this leads us to appraisals: the beliefs, perceptions, expectations and judgements that people draw on to explain their own and other’s behavior. (Moors et al., 2013; Fairholme et al., 2009; Lindquist & Barrett, 2008).

Emotions are not only caused by our minds but the culture as well. Culture can also influence the cause of emotions due to different linguistics from different countries for example, the Germans have schadenfreude: a feeling of joy at another’s misfortune. The Japanese of hangaii: helpless anguish tinged with frustration. (Levy, 1984). Misunderstanding or unable to adapt to different culture emotions will take time for others.

Stress and Emotions

The nature of stress is fairly common in daily life. However, not many people can endure the amount of stress being weight on their shoulders, which could trigger some emotions and can cause health problems along the way. Let us take this as an example, “She was so depressed and stressed yesterday, and now she’s sick. It makes total sense!” Can negative emotions cause risks to your health? The answer is YES! A very good example is when researchers believed that cancer can be caused by depression. Cancer can cause depression due to the cancerous tumors producing high levels of chemical that can cause the symptoms of depression. (Pyter et al., 2009).

Could positive emotions promote better health and long life? Positive emotions could be beneficial to soften the high arousal caused by negative chronic stressors (Kok, Catalino, & Frederickson, 2008).

People who express positive feelings are more likely to attract friends and supporters tan are people who are always bitter and brooding, and social support is one of the most powerful contributors to good health (Friedmam & Martin, 2011; Ong, 2010; Pressman & Cohen, 2005)

Depression and Mental Health

Major depression can cause people to feel emotional, environmental, cognitive and physical changes to a person’s ordinary functioning severely. When this occurs, those people will not do their normal activities such as stop eating, have difficulty falling asleep or sleeping through the night, hard to concentrate and feel tired all the time. They may even lose interest in activities that gives them satisfaction and pleasure. Rohde stated that major depression is twice as often among women as among men; however, women are more likely to open up their feelings than men.

Depression & Islam

Compared to common responds on getting medication from doctors who is in that particular field, Islam shares other ways to cure other than medication from both chemical and herbal methods, which includes and connects to stress and restrain emotions.

“So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief” (Quran94: 5–6) (The Noble Qur’an, 1984: p. 841, Chapter 94, Verse 5–6).

In other words, as human being, Muslims can also feel depression, stress and other negative emotions and are not immune to them either. Another recitation stating the fact that patience and people accepting that to God’s decree shall be given a reward from Him.

The Quran says, ‘Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits of your toil, but give glad tiding to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity: To Allah, we belong, and to Him is our return’ (Quran2: 155) (The Noble Qur’an, 1984: p. 32, Chapter 2, Verse 155).

Mental Health & Islam

Summarizing from the original source, having a secure attachment style is better functioning, higher self-esteem, and greater coping along with healthy mental health outcomes (Bowlby, 1951). Relating to this, it is the same when connecting with God and yourself to increase mental functioning.

“… And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him…” (Quran65: 3) (The Noble Qur’an, 1984: p. 766, Chapter 65, Verse 3).

In medieval times in the West, mental health conditions were thought to be from devils or demons which later on requires exorcism and it was thought to be spirit-related problems, while Muslim scholars from medieval times acknowledged that mental illness was related to the physiological and psychological states of a human.

Treatments from an Islamic Prospective

In 2020, Mashitah & Lenggono conducted a study to give Quranic recitation as treatment for patients who have depression,and who are going through hemodialysis treatment sessions. As the results, by applying the Quranic recitation to the patient who is having treatment made their depression rate reduced, and showed improvement in spiritual qualities in their life and was able to reduce the amount of anxiety levels effectively.

From a clear indication, religious individuals tend to have better outcomes on both mental health and physical well-being. As Chatters (2000) confirmed that with religion, mental health and well-being have a positive direction and association, importantly that religion plays an important part of recovering mental or physical illnesses due to better results and improvement.

From My case and My Small Experience

I am the type of person who tires my best at everything with everything that I can provide myself and for others. I also try to comfort others as best as I can by providing positive vibes every now and then, but as a human being, I too can feel a little under the weather or feel unpleasant of my own situations. Based on all of the information above from all of this, curiosity came over and I decided to read a little bit more of the study.

It happened today at around 7am in the morning [01/06/2022], I was busy looking through at my usual daily morning boosters and entertainment before studying until a friend of mine had some of her own issues. So I joined into the 1v1 call and we talked from there and from here, where I was searching for depression or mental health treatment. I found a hadith or a some sort of information, and I wanted to see if this worked.

There was a case study stating that reciting Surah Ar-Rahman (Al-Rehman) can help manage depression. So I opened the Holy Quran, and recited Ar-Rahman. When I finished, we talked a little bit more and I recited Surah Duha for her. At the end, my friend explain how she felt after hearing and she felt that the heavy weight was lifted. She felt a bit more relaxed, and surprised as well.

I did my best to only provide scientific methods to help at least, make them feel better; however, knowing and reading the case study about Quranic recitation and how I accidentally recite it to my friend, it proves that medication is still necessary, but having the Quran can help boost it further more.

References:

• Depression from a Different Perspective
• Efficacy of Surah Al-Rehman in Managing Depression in Muslim Women - PubMed

My course book : Innovation to Psychology

Emotion, Stress, Health and Psychological Disorders in a Different Perspective was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I am the type of person, that loves to communicate, through social media. I try to keep up with trends that I like and try to see if there’s a way I could also get one for myself, or it’s unnecessary for me to do so. I am also the type of person who is very sensitive towards my own religion, which I don’t talk about much in the media, but why should I be afraid? My religion is my culture, my religion is my character, my religion is my guidance. So I posted something about “Burned out Symptoms” and surprisingly, some did enjoy the information, but as I posted something related to “Islamic” only a few of them liked it. I use Instagram for testing out what kinds of trends does my followers like, and so far the majority are non-Muslims. Why is that? Because I went to in International School, and that’s where it all started.

So the first step for me to make was to post something that is relevant to science and Islam. I watched a lot of lectures, which I like when it comes towards “Learning”, because I noticed that I am more of an audio type of person, than reading for hours. Reading is fine, but based on what I have learnt in my psychology classes on a subject title called “Memory”, is that we learn to remember by Iconic Memory and Echoic Memory. 1.) Iconic Memory is where we see and scan the text to gain information, however it will only last for at least 0.5 seconds or below that, while 2.) Echoic Memory is basically things that we hear in order to gain information, but with Echoic Memory, it can last at least 3–4 seconds before it comes to the Working Memory / Short-Term-Memory. So what was my other strategy when I am not using my ears to study? I re-write the things or paraphrase the text itself into a better way for me to remember. I was happy that I finally stepped up and took the big risk, because so many Islamic content that is related to wars, or something like that has been taken down.

Now, why did I start later than doing it at the start? Well I haven’t found the answer yet. However, seeing myself lost within the non-Islamic society had just ringed my bell and made me woke up. All of the things I do on discord, it just simply for entertaining, nothing more. This is just a world for God Himself to test us before we go to Jannah[amiin] or Jahanam[astagfirullah]. So we need to do our best to go to Paradise, but in order for us to do that, we must be obedient to Allah SWT, we need to do the things that Allah SWT has already mentioned AND we need people to remind us as well. I would like to thank my mother, who as always been there for me when I am needed.

One of my biggest trauma is getting yelled at for doing something wrong, and to what I remember in psychology classes and if I am wrong, please do correct me, was that the treatment for trauma or fear was something to do with the Classical or Operant Conditioning. Either those two methods was the treatment. So I took the courage and told my mother about grades. Later on with the conversation, I never felt so touched and happy within me. I maybe still afraid to ask, but at least I tried.

What about the title of this “Being a Lost Sheep in the Heard”? What does all of the paragraph above have to do with anything with the title? As I said, I was lost in the community with non-Muslims friends. I had my mother guide me to the right path and now living in another country, being introverted and limiting face-to-face communication is hard for me and that problem is only minor. What’s worst is that I had some people try to embrace myself to do the things I want to do and forget what are my mother’s and Allah’s SWT principles. My mother was like this to me because she wants what is best for me. Seeing my online friends on discord, ranting, creating chaos when they don’t feel happy, being suicidal, is not the way for a healthier life! It makes you more inhumane and you know that some people may lie to you right? Some people have the audacity to go behind your back when you have trusted them, and that they always say “Let’s talk it out your feelings” and later just dumps out information on to someone else but made it into a different story… High possibilities could happen. So from now on, I should at least find a friend who’s more of the same background as mine, the same foundation as mine. I can communicate with different religion, it’s not wrong, but I should surround myself with Muslim people to guide me to Jannah.

So many people gives me a headache and later on asking, “How can I earn your forgiveness?” Don’t worry, I forgive you because Allah SWT has forgiven me so much! He is all forgiving. I shouldn’t ask for a request on how you should earn my trust, I shouldn’t hate you for what you had done, because it’s pointless. You will have to put so much time, effort and energy on hating someone, than you will forget to do something way more important.

Being the Lost Sheep in the Heard was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

1. It is stressful.

How is it stressful? Well for those who are on the same page as me, (introvert) there are sometimes you’d gladly talk and there are sometimes where you just don’t fit in. I took a year back just to do “Ingilizce Hazirlik,” and I was pretty fine. I was in my comfort zone just a little bit, but why a little? During classes in that course, there was a topic about “Small talk”, where you start basic conversation for example, “How are you today?”, “The weather is nice isn’t it?”, “It’s a little too crowded” or something like that, and this “Small talk” helps us to engage with other people from the community. Personally for me, I don’t mind small talks. It is nice to talk with random people and try to find good and light topics to discuss, but what happens after that?

This was in class where I was separated with one of my friends who is the same nationality as me, and I had no choice but to communicate with other people that I am not familiar with, and I must push myself to speak in Turkish. I was bored in class and the teacher was speaking too fast and I was so worried that I might not be able to catch up with what he or she is saying, so I asked the person next to me and soon we had a small conversation. It was nice at first but then I ran out of ideas on what to talk about. I am not fond of sports like football or any sports that is related to balls in general, so I don’t know what else to talk about. I remember in that one year of preparation classes, the students are very curious about exams and how it is graded. So, whenever we have exams, I tend to try to jump in and talk about it and this made it partly stressful.

Do you ever get the feeling that your parents are always watching you like a hawk? Have you ever wonder what your parents think of your grades? Well technically that is me 24/7! Most of the time I tend to wonder, “What will my mom react to my grades?” because the last time, it did not end well. So I am paranoid to the point I just want to be lazy at home do nothing. But here’s the thing, I asked one of my closest Turkish friend about this and she comforted me. When you feeling down about in this certain situations, talk to a friend. I know that Turkish people and Indonesian people are kind of the same when it comes to communication. When they speak English to me, they feel like they are superman of immune to no fear or something. Same goes for Indonesians, we are shy to use English to the point we don’t want to use it because of criticism. If you don’t feel like talking, then try to avoid any gadgets and spend a day reflecting. Ask yourself if you have made any progress in life, or ask yourself if you feel alright. These self caring questions are probably the most cheapest thing to do than going to see a psychologist.

What else can you do to not feel stressful in general or anything that is related to what I have just written above? Just today, 22nd of December 2021, I watched a video about “5 Brilliant New Habits You Can Start in 2022” and this is why I am writing to you readers right now. I have basically watched some motivational videos to keep my spirit high. This is from the same YouTuber from the link that I have given to you that, you can try to start your day less stressful by doing something you enjoy the most. You can read a novel, cook something delicious, play games, talk with a friend about something interesting and / write something in your journal to start your day. Another thing that, what I really enjoyed the most is taking a nice warm bath in the morning. It actually helped me make my day better! I have a clear mind in the morning and feel very fresh!

I would also like to point out that, sleeping is essential when it comes to exams. I don’t have the link of the video but I can summarize that, if you have enough sleep, you are more likely to be able to concentrate more. I remember back in high school, one of the teachers shared their lovely story of how they studied and I find it hard to apply in in my life, because everyone has they own unique way of studying. My teacher explain how they study hard through the night and never wasted their time on unnecessary things. One of the female teachers heard the story and privately said to my class only that, “I am a female, I have a family, I have other priorities.” which I can agree more! Girls and boys are totally different! Men can only focus on one thing at a time while girls can do multitasking, which can also lead to a distraction. Take an example of a husband was left at home to do some simple house chores. The only thing that the husband remembers is the last task that his wife told him to do, so he do it, while females on the other hand, tries to finish all of their task in one go, but cannot find the perfect rhythm and it is not well synchronized, and I can related to that. Now what does this have to do with sleep? Well basically it is about self caring of your own mental and physical health! You cannot just study with out certain amount of breaks and you cannot have a messy sleeping schedule. God has given us the time to rest and I know that, night time is far better to sleep rather than studying. We feel more relaxed once we have taken a nap or some rest, because our everyday lives are heavy and stressful.

However, I still wonder and I asked my mother this question: Why are we still stressed? I have done everything to keep myself calm and relaxed but why am I still stressed? She simply replied “because you are not grateful.” I think long and hard about this and I can see what she meant(hopefully). We caused the stress, we made it look like stress, like if it’s a heavy burden. My mother always remind me that, God is testing us, whether if we can find a solution within ourselves or with the help of others. From that simple reply, I did a little bit of self-reflecting, and I want to try to overcome these small fears.

2. It’s exhausting!

What do I mean exhausting? It is similar to being stressful. You will have these same or even the slightest similar problems that you must deal with. Sometimes it can be about being materialistic and want something, trying to define what is the most important to buy and what is not, saving up money and etc. These things can be very exhausting, which can give you a lot on your plate. One of the things that makes me exhausted the most is different time zones. Sometimes when I want some time to myself or even sleep, I get a 2 am call in the morning, or I get a call when I want to eat. Other times it is when I am in class, which I kindly remind them that this the time I have classes or when I am doing a video recording and I am only available at this hour and this hour. Living the life in collage is not as luxurious as you think. You may think that, living away from your parents and being able to do whatever you desire is luxury, but there will be a time when you feel homesick, stressed out because you can’t do something like house chores or unable to cook the food you always wanted because the recipe is difficult to do. You will have to pay your own bills, find an apartment that you feel comfortable with, get a job to cover your bills and fees, have extra homework, join clubs and etc. The thing that makes me irritated the most to the point I am tired is to find ingredients for cooking. Asian foods are hard to find, especially depending on which city you live in Turkey. I want to eat sushi but is WAY too expensive! So the cheapest food is basically native Turkish food right? Don’t you feel like there are some times when you crave for something else other than those kinds of foods? I am the type of person who gets bored easily with food, so I try to eat different types of dishes everyday to keep all the sparkles and rainbows! At the same time, you really want to save up money buy cooking, but you have to try to remember each word because you don’t want to translate all of them and then the next thing you know, is that you ended up in the store when it’s closed.

Aside from cooking and me complaining about it, there are some times you have to sacrifice some options, like school over travelling, health over school and etc. What makes this exhausting is about making the right decisions. For instance, your friend asks you to come on a lovely trip but but you don’t know how long you will be gone for. You then ask questions and if you go, you will miss out on school activates but at the same time, it can be a one life time opportunity. You will have to choose one over the other, and will there be another opportunities like this? Maybe!

To end this year’s writing edition, living abroad is a 50 percent luxury and 50 percent of pressure! You will face problems and you will have to understand yourself whether if this is harming you drastically or not and don’t forget, selfcare is what we all need in life. I have stated them on the forth part of the paragraph and I hope this can help you readers to be not blinded by fantasies from advertisements that you see on YouTube or on any social media platform.

What is it like Living Abroad? was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Ask yourself if you’re a criminal “Why do I make such crime?” Ask yourself if your a mother or a father or three “Where did they learn inappropriate words from?” Ask yourself if you are a materialistic buyer “Why am I not satisfied with what I have?” It all comes down to religion. For example using cursing words. What does The Bible say about this?

“Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty comes out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word is a gift.”

This is what the apostle Paul said about the language Christians should be using; however, what does the Qur’an say about this? What does the Prophet Muhammad SAW, The Messenger of Allah SWT say about this? The Messenger of Allah SWT said:

“The true believer is not a slanderer, nor does he curse others, and nor is he immoral or shameless.” [Related by At- Tirmidhi]

The Almighty says in the Qur’an:

“And speak to people good [words]” (Quran 2:83)

“And tell my servants to say that which is best. Indeed Satan includes [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.” (Quran 17:53)

“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they maybe better than them; nor let women ridicule [another] woman; perhaps they maybe better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent -then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” (Quran 49:11)

Another Hadith from Al-Bukhari and Muslim:

“He who believes in Allah and the Last Day let him speak or remain silent.”

Why did I bring up this topic? It is sad to see people suffering, don’t you think? Our actions reflects our personality and these actions was cause by role models that we admire the most. Racisms between countries and religions are continuously damaging us. Seeing videos on YouTube how people disrespect other’s, how people make bad assumptions just by their looks and etc. shows us that, these can actually influence us to become like them. The definition of being a role model is a person who has the characteristics you want for yourself and who can help you develop those traits while influencers happens to be a role models as well.

I believe that we need more good role models. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, as long as you are staying true to yourself. In my opinion, a good role model is your religion. They teach you what you are suppose to be. As long as you have a big brain of being considerate towards situations and the way you speak, I think that should be enough.

Role Models was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

According to an article title “Space Tourism,” none of the futurologists future ambitions have made it so far. One of the ambitions was to construct hotels on the moon by the year of 2000. In March 1998, there was a report by NASA of the idea “General Public Space Travel and Tourism,” was going to start sub-orbital flights. ( https://www.ukessays.com/essays/tourism/space-tourism-a-look-in-the-past-and-future-tourism-essay.php )

Such thoughts had never made it; however, the development of technology may bring these fantasies into reality. A few tourist passengers have made it into space thanks to Space Adventures. Several other companies like Virgin Galactic and SpaceX decided that tourists should visit space. They will gain new experience such as levitating for three to six minutes and they will express their experience. On the contrary, critics predicted that the amount of global warming will increase, the ozone will be damaged and both poles will be suffocated. I honestly believe that this is a huge risk for us and for our home.

Creating a new home on the moon is too risky and impossible! A spacecraft takes about 3 days to reach the moon and have to at least travel for 240.000 miles ( https://coolcosmos.ipac.caltech.edu/ask/174-How-long-does-it-take-to-travel-to-the-Moon-#:~:text=It%20takes%20about%203%20days,between%20Earth%20and%20the%20Moon. ) What does this have to do with the risk? Clearly we know that the moon doesn’t even have layers of skies, so there it is impossible to breath. To be able to breath, we will need a very sophisticated type of suit where it could protect us and it is everlasting. Towards my illustration, I can’t even image living on the moon.

When I imagine living on the moon or at least on another planet, I first thought of this game on NitendoDS called Drawn To Life the next chapter. From the picture above, they make it look so easy but it is not. Imagine living on the moon and to go to another city (glass dome), you will have to get a check up. There is no gravity, and we must be fit enough and be mentally prepared for the journey. Of course, technicians must prepare new innovative ways to create transportations on the moon because wearing a suit all day is very tiring. We will need extreme and modern technology to make sure that we breath oxygen from the vehicle. Just like a plane, we will absolutely need a mask or a helmet to provide oxygen in case an unfortunate event will occur during the journey. The thing that I can only think of is a short video clip of Shelter. It is very emotional, but the spacecraft is a very sophisticated technology.

On the other hand is importing oxygen. Oxygen is created by the first cyanobacteria and these were the Earth’s first photosynthesis, producing food using water and the sunlight’s energy to release oxygen. This took place from 2.4 billion years ago. You can read the article or even watch it:

Article: https://naturalhistory.si.edu/education/teaching-resources/life-science/early-life-earth-animal-origins#:~:text=When%20cyanobacteria%20evolved%20at%20least,releasing%20oxygen%20as%20a%20result.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTsJubN68WE [1:31:28 video]

Aside from the idea on constructing a new place to live, what about the amount of money? Money can be considered as an essential ticket for our future while it also considered as the key to fulfill our satisfactions. The amount of tickets to just travel around the world could cost about 2.9 trillion dollars and this was two years ago. For the cost of these tickets to go and visit the moon would probably be even more. These tickets cost a fortune because it cost at least 200.000 dollars per person or even more. I believe that this is not necessary to do. You could have used it for other necessities; for instance, give charity, protect the earth from global warming, and give great education to people and so on. For charity, you don’t need to just donate money, you can donate food and undersized or unused clothes for people who will need it and these are also part of your money and effort. You can also donate educational books for the people who live in poverty because who knows that these people who don’t have the luxurious life like we have, can change other people’s perceptions of the world.

Why move to another planet? Is it because Earth is not safe anymore? Is it because too much pollution? Then solve our problems here on earth before going to another planet because if we have done it here, then we will do it anywhere.

A Trip to Space? was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The pen is mightier than the sword — Edward Bulwer- Lytton

Indicating that whatever we write, is more dangerous than a sharp knife and I agree to this saying. Logically in science, the smaller the area of the surface, the painful it will be; for instance, the knife. Unfortunately, we tend to use guns over swords and the lighter the bullet, the faster it is, the more damage it will cause. These pains however are temporarily due to aiding is always near. Of course, not many people survive through these dreadful events. On the contrary, they won’t have to battle it every single day. As what the saying is stating, a pen or a word could harm or cure us in anyway. It is just like a sword, The sword is to kill its enemies and saves its followers.

The main point is that words could poison us. Let us take an example, hate comments on social media. The community now-a-days use social media for almost 24/7. There are plenty of reasons aside from gaming, binge watching, snapchatting and etc. for instance marketing, educating children through online classes, reading e-books, and free education through YouTube like Academy Khan. Despite all the positivity, negativity always interfere with our mindset. Let us take an example if your child wants a toy, you will say no. When you hear the word no, it defines as a permanent answer of not buying the toy. This will frustrate the kid, and starts to cry. Another example is If you have exams. When you hear the word exams, what is the first feeling that crosses your mind? “Oh shit!”, “I have to study to ace these grades!”, “Darn it!”, “Aw man!”, “Oh no! Not exams! I am tired!” and etc. It is the same when you create negative comments on someone’s feed post through any social media they have own. These words can hurt us forever, unlike a knives nor a bullets. They will toxify our minds and into our hearts and cause chest pains. This pain can either end quickly or continuously hurt us.

So what are the solution? Well, I’ll leave that to You.

If you’re problem is small, ignore it. If you’re problem is big, minimize it. — By My Lovely Mother

Problems only get solved when you stop ignoring

Life is Problem, Living is Solving problem — Raymond E. Feist

Our Minds being toxified by Words was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Part of managing successful ad campaigns involves knowing what types of ad content is disallowed and what’s restricted across the social and search ad landscape. For the marketers who are often tasked with getting ad campaigns up and running in a moment’s notice, knowing what ad content may be blocked by an automatic system could be a lifesaver for the social media ad manager who spends her time in the trenches, uploading creative, setting ad filters and waiting for approval. Across all social and search ad platforms, the standard rules apply for prohibited ads: no promoting counterfeit goods, tobacco, illegal products or services. Some platforms make their rules easy to follow or refrain from getting too much into the minutiae of things, while others are very specific. The following list gives marketers a general idea of each platforms prohibited and restricted ad guidelines, while also calling out the more unique policies from site to site.

1. FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM;
2. GOOGLE and YOUTUBE;
3. LINKEDLN;
4. MICROSOFT [BING];
5. PINTREST;
6. REDDIT;
7. SNAPCHAT; and
8. TWITTER

To read further more details : https://marketingland.com/you-cant-advertise-that-the-big-list-of-prohibited-ads-across-social-and-search-platforms-267293

Social Media and the Law; 5 Things You Need to know: | by Lisa C. Johnson, Esq.
updated February 05, 2021

Various social media legal issues arise when website users share content online across different platforms like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr, Google+, Reddit, Wikipedia, personal blogs and more. Social media laws relating to who owns the content being shared, when and where sharing is appropriate and what limits may be imposed on sharing often raise issues relating to trademark infringement, copyright infringement, social media marketing, labor relations and more.

To read further more details: https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/social-media-and-the-law-5-things-you-need-to-know

Social Media Marketing

There’s a lot of information about these, and I wanted to make sure that we should be aware of these as well. Read well and stay safe!

Prohibitions on Social Media and Search Platforms was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Let us say that you have found a 10 dollar bill on the floor. What would you do with it? Would you keep it? Would you find the person? Would you report it to the police or would you leave it as where it was? We don’t know. It depends on you and you alone. If you had kept it, what would be the reason? Is it for an emergency? Is it because you were very hungry and didn’t had any money left? All of these are possible, and there are more than these examples. What if you had left it, what would you feel? Would you regret or would you feel empty?

The cup we choose is what we fill it with. It can be water, it can be salted water, or it even can be wine; However, if the cup we choose it empty, it will stay empty. Let us say we have two cups for two choices. No more and no less. One cup is filled with water, while the other cup is filled with red wine. Comparing these two together, which one is the lie? When people think of water, it represents calm and clear mind, purity or even a refreshment while the red wine can represent as friendship and happiness. But what about their colour? People always thought that water is blue, but it is transparent. When looking at the ocean? Colours of the sky’s reflected the colours of the ocean. Blue can represent anything. Some say it’s sadness, depression or calm. Red can represent extream, passionate for love, violence, danger, anger, and adventure. Now here is the catch, when you think about these two cups, which one do you choose? Of course you’d choose the cup with water because what I said earlier was about pure and refreshment. But what if you’re wrong? Why would I say that is it wrong? Children at a young age from 2–10 years old can lie. Do they drink red wine? Of course not but the replacement can be another for example milk, milkshakes, sodas and etc.

Lies Tells the Truth and Truth Tells the Lies, a wonderful sentence from a child’s book I have read. -”The School for Good and Evil”

Lies Tells the Truth and Truth Tells the Lies was originally published in STUDEARIE on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.