I miss your photo popping on my phone in a small bubble the first time I turn my Wi-Fi on in the morning.

I miss waiting for your good night message which was always sure to come.

I miss the small talks about cute animals and random trivia throughout the day.

I miss the photos and updates you share when you’re away.

I miss being sure that when my phone lights up, it's your name that I'll see.

I miss the butterflies in my stomach the first time you asked me out for ramen, or a movie.

I miss my feeling of utter disbelief, followed by complete giddiness, when you asked if I had plans for Valentine's Day.

I said no, but we can go out another time. I wish I could've just said yes since it didn't happen again.

The good morning messages are still there. The random jokes and updates are still there.

But why does it feel different now?

Has the so-called honeymoon phase ended when it hasn't even started yet?

Or have I lost you when I haven't had you yet?

Reminiscing was originally published in theMUSINGS on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The day I turned 20 and stepped into the world was just like every other day. It was just like the day I turned 19,18,17 and 16. Nothing changed magically and yet everything had changed, I had changed drastically. It was the little things that changed along the way, nothing big of the sorts. You know I had always thought that something fantastic would happen, I was in for a rude awakening. It wasn’t those birthdays that changed me, it was everything I got to experience that changed me. Each year, nothing fluctuated, but looking back something pretty big had happened in my life. So, here are the 5 Lessons that I have learnt in my life as a 20 year old.

1. I am the master of my own reality

I realized that I had to stop pitying myself and start putting in the real work. I had to stop glorifying the concept of being sad at current circumstances. If there was something in my personality that I didn’t like, or something in my life that I would like to achieve, then I was more than capable to do it. Believing that’s just how I am or that’s just how things are, is a state of fixed mindset. Yes, I can change but I have to put in the work.

2. Be okay with losing people

The hardest part that gave me a tough time was the idea of losing people as a teenager. It’s okay to be out of touch with some people. They just no longer play a part in your life. If they are worth keeping them yeah you should keep them in my life, but if your efforts are not reciprocated then it’s perfectly okay. A large part of me felt guilty for not keeping in touch with school mates, and resented that they never kept in touch with me too. But the reality is that those that mattered found their way to me. Growing up is realising that quality is always better than quantity and that a friend of all is a friend of none.

3. Work hard or else you lose.

The fact of the matter is that life is tough to survive on your own. Moving away from home and living in university , I saw all kinds of people around me, most of them so hardworking that their resilience astounded me. Being the first and only medical student among my siblings, after trial and error of 2 years in university I truly got to know how high the stakes were. Life is a constant struggle and you need to not only work smart but hard too. I have seen the rock bottom in my academic life and the harder you sink, the harder it is to rise back up. Well, they do say that better late than never. Right? Working should be like breathing (studying in my case), not really a chore, and it will keep you happy, fed and alive.

4.Do it for yourself, not the people

Do it for yourself. Chances are if you change something for the people, or do something for them, they won’t appreciate and mostly they will not. Mark my words. No one needs the best version of yourself the most, better than you. If you have a bad habit, you owe it to the younger you or the future you, to break it.

5. Save money and invest in yourself

Saving money will help you loads. I saved money for 3 years, it was not enough but I did save a ratio consistently and hence in 3rd year of medicine, when things got tough my savings was used to pay my tuition and hostel fee. Saving money and also investing in another side hustle will help so much, so that by the end of your degree, you will have something to fall back on. Another thing, I am extremely grateful for was investing my time in myself by joining societies and debating competitions, that groomed me more than anything. Investing in yourself will always bring a greater yield than any other saving.

Conclusion:

Turning 20, won’t magically open up a trove of wisdom for you. It will be the nitty bitty experiences and lessons you learnt along the way that will guide you. Here were my two cents. If you learnt any life lessons in your 20s or at any age, do tell in the comments.

5 Lessons that I learnt as a 20 year Old College Student was originally published in theMUSINGS on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.