Whether you’re a caretaker with a young school-aged child or a parent with a high schooler, you may be facing the stress of juggling homeschooling — along with everything else on your plate — right now. You’re in luck: with our friends at Sleep Number, we’re answering your burning questions about how to make sure your kids aren’t missing out on important learning experiences while maintaining a healthy routine for the whole family.

In our first installment, Alexis Glick, CEO of GENYOUth, a nonprofit that creates healthier school communities by empowering students to create a healthy future for themselves and their peers, answers a question from a Wake-Up Caller whose high school student is struggling to do her best at school during this uncertain time.

Q: My daughter is a senior honor student who is now stressed and anxious. How can we help our kids maintain their wellbeing right now during this uncertain time?

That’s a great question and as a mom of four, I can totally relate to student stress, anxiety and the challenges of navigating school and studies via distance learning, in school or a mix of both. I see that stress first-hand every day with my children and strongly believe that there are three essential pillars that can help our children thrive…

GETTING BETTER SLEEP:

Sleep is often the first thing that gets pushed aside for children’s demanding schedules. Less than 50 percent of teens across the country are getting enough sleep, according to a youth insights survey conducted by GENYOUth in partnership with Sleep Number. That research also found that 71 percent of middle and high school-aged students are getting less sleep on weekday nights than they need to perform at their best throughout the school day.

These sleep-deprived students are losing about 8.5 hours of sleep per school week on average. That’s equal to missing out on one full night’s sleep a week. Sleep impacts a child’s physical and emotional development, as well as academic and athletic performance, so creating a consistent sleep schedule and ensuring your child gets at least nine hours of sleep a night is a good start.

To help, Sleep Number experts suggest having your kids limit their screen time, turn off their phones and read a book or prepare for bed by listening to relaxing music. You can read more about this here.

EATING NUTRITIOUS MEALS:

I’m a strong advocate for having your children eat a balanced diet. A recent GENYOUth report stresses that: “Vital to learning and cognition are the nutrients necessary to support normal growth and development, and a good guidepost is ensuring your child’s diet includes a good mix of dairy, protein, fruits and vegetables.”

Our report also underscores the importance of breakfast and its positive effect on a child’s overall nutrition, cognition and a healthy lifestyle.

If time or resources are tight for parents, many schools continue to provide nutritious school meals, even if they are operating under a remote or hybrid learning model. SAP4Kids can help families identify local school feeding sites to access vital meals daily for families who have been hit the hardest. For more information on SAP4Kids and the Resource Locator Map, visit www.sap.com/sap4kids

GETTING ACTIVE:

Children need to get moving! No surprise here that food and fitness are fundamental to student wellness and academic performance. Research underscores that students who are physically active tend to have higher grades, better school attendance, increased cognitive performance and improved classroom behaviors.

Regular physical activity can also help children and adolescents improve cardiorespiratory fitness, build strong bones and muscles, control weight, reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression and the risk of developing chronic health conditions. While my children are distance learning, I make sure I get them out of the house after school to work out on our local fields. They either go for runs or create pick-up games of lacrosse or basketball with their friends — in a socially distanced and safe way. Children need time away from their computer screens and it’s my personal mission to make sure they are physically active every day.

As parents, it is vital that we practice what we preach. If I expect my kids to sleep well, eat a healthy breakfast, and get as close to 60 minutes of physical activity daily, I must do the same! Join them. It’s liberating!

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

3 Ways Parents Can Help Their Kids Thrive While Virtual Learning was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Advocate and author Houston Kraft opens up about why kindness should be more intentional.

With the coronavirus pandemic showing no signs of letting up and millions of Americans out of work, acts of kindness may be more important now than ever.

Author Houston Kraft believes people should be more intentional about the way in which they go about being gracious to others. In his new book, Deep Kindness: A Revolutionary Guide for the Way We Think, Talk, and Act in Kindness, the newly minted author addresses the problem of kindness being oversimplified in our culture.

“One of the most damaging narratives that we have as a culture is that kindness is free,” he told Wake-Up Call, noting that displays of goodwill often cost us comfort, convenience and sometimes, our egos.

Kraft argued that there is often a gap between our belief in kindness and our ability to practice it well. “When we identify as something, we allow ourselves to not put time and energy to improve at that thing,” he said.

In our wide-ranging conversation about the topic, Kraft shared some ways to improve our ability to show kindness.

Being kind to others starts with being kind to yourself.

Kraft believes meaningful kindness is about showing specific kindness tailored to the needs of loved ones and friends. “I like to think about kindness and specificity as rings, moving outward from myself,” he said.

Confront your anxiety and fear.

“The biggest barriers towards empathy and listening and kindness is actually anxiety and fear,” he said.

Make kindness a measurable metric and hold yourself accountable.

Kraft recommends starting a “to-be list” and visually prioritize the kind of person you want to be on a daily basis. “If I’m always thinking, ‘Oh, I’m a kind person’ ― it’s too big, it’s too amorphous to be able to measure versus it to be-list, which says, ‘Hey, today, I’m going to be this thing by doing this.’”

Focus on improving what lies beneath kindness.

Kraft said kindness begins with an internal set of skills, which includes empathy, a robust emotional vocabulary, and the ability to actively listen to others.

“I think to teach kindness is actually a little bit of a misnomer ― of a red herring ― because I think if we’re trying to teach an action without teaching the skills that live beneath that action, we’re going to get consistently frustrated why this person isn’t behaving the way we want them to behave,” he said.

Written and reported by senior writer Tess Bonn.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

How to Show Kindness During Unprecedented Times was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Wake-Up Call is launching a new series on women’s health with my gynecologist Dr. Rebecca Brightman, an assistant clinical instructor of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Dr. Brightman is also a certified provider with the North American Menopause Society. She’s concerned that more women aren’t talking about health issues. Our first topic? The menopausal transition…yay! And yes, folks, we are getting real. You’ll see with our first question why we’re calling this “In Your Business.”

Wake-Up Call: Let’s just get right down to what we’re all wondering here: how can a woman expect her vagina to change during the menopausal transition?

Dr. Rebecca Brightman: Menopause is not really a light switch, and everybody’s experience is different. Some women start to notice vaginal changes during perimenopause, which is the period of time directly before menopause, and can last for up to seven-and-a-half years before a woman has her final period. This is when women may start to have symptoms that interfere with sleep, like night sweats. And for many women, this is when you might start to notice vaginal changes. It may be something subtle, like you may not have needed to use a lubricant before, and now you do. There may be difficulty with intercourse, or there may be urinary symptoms.

Women who remain sexually active may not be aware of any age-related changes at all. Any kind of sexual activity maintains blood flow to the genitals, and improved blood flow helps maintain elasticity. As women head towards menopause, their periods ultimately become spaced out and hormones start to fluctuate. The overall hormonal picture is one of less estrogen. Estrogen really helps maintain the health of the vagina on many levels, so as it decreases, the vaginal tissue may change.

Looking externally, there are two labia: the labia majora and the labia minora. The labia majora can lose its fat pad, so it’s not as puffy. The labia minora may become less pronounced.The vaginal opening may start to constrict a little bit — it may be a little less stretchy. But if a woman is sexually active, and I don’t just mean intercourse, but any kind of sexual activity involving stimulation of the genitalia, they will preserve a lot of the vaginal structure. Some women may not even notice a change, but for others it could be a very quick and sudden change. Everybody’s body composition is different.

So what I’m hearing is that a good way to combat major vaginal changes is to continue having a normal, healthy sex life. Right?

Definitely. And I mean any kind of sexual stimulation. So it doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not.

The most important thing is for women to be on the lookout for these changes, and not to be fearful of them. But as soon as you start to notice these changes, talk to your doctor. There is so much you can do to make this transition more comfortable, so if you’re reading this and thinking “Oh gosh, that’s me,” please go talk to your doctor.

Let’s talk about lube. What advice do you have for women who have never used lube before?

Use something that’s silicone-based, because the water-based lubricants tend to dry out. And they tend to be very drying for women after menopause. There are so many lubricants on the market! There are even flavored ones. Just make sure it’s pH neutral — I’m not sure I’d introduce all these foreign things into the vagina.

The most important thing I can tell you is not to be embarrassed. I’ve had patients say “Oh my God, I’ve never needed a lubricant,” or, “I can’t let my partner know that I need a lubricant. That means I’m not like turned on.” That’s just ridiculous. Women tend not to be as moist as they get older, and their partner may misconstrue that as a lack of excitement, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that. Decreased blood flow to the vagina results in decreased moisture. That may have nothing to do with how a woman is feeling mentally or physically.

Decreased libido is a side effect that many women fear when it comes to perimenopause and menopause. Is there anything a woman can do to combat this?

I wish I had a magic pill to prescribe to remedy libido! All women have male hormones, and the amount of male hormones that women have drop with each decade of life. Testosterone tends to peak mid cycle with ovulation. It’s no coincidence because that’s when women are their most fertile. So as ovulation becomes more erratic, so too does testosterone production.

The FDA has approved two drugs for treating low libido, but they are approved for premenopausal women, so women who haven’t stopped menstruating. It’s rarely my premenopausal patients who complain of this, and quite commonly it’s my postmenopausal patients. So if they were to use these products, it would have to be off label, but it’s not forbidden. It just has to be monitored very carefully by your physician. There can be great variation in amounts of testosterone women are getting from various pharmacies. So they have to be super careful, and they need to be monitored.

The other thing is that stress plays a role. Some medications that treat anxiety and depression can also diminish libido. As women age, there’s a lot more stress! Whether it’s in the home, or the workplace, that can have a huge impact on libido. For men, it’s more like an on and off switch when it comes to libido. Women are exhausted, they’re stretched, and they can’t just chill out and necessarily want to have sex. Men are very different.

Tell me about other symptoms of perimenopause and menopause, and how women can ease those symptoms.

Many women have issues where they’re not sleeping, they’ve got night sweats, they’re warm during the day, they’re irritable. And many of those women are helped by hormones. During perimenopause, I frequently put people on very low dose birth control pills, which can create hormonal neutrality. Some people, when they’re done menstruating, use lower dose birth control pills — that’s what we call systemic medicine. Those systemic medicines will help the vagina. But let’s say we have somebody who just has pain during sex, vaginal dryness, tearing of tissue, or more frequent UTIs. Women don’t realize UTIs are more common after menopause because changes in vaginal pH result in a different composition of the bacteria in the vagina, and changes in female anatomy can cause the urethra to be in closer proximity to the vagina. So if women are feeling dry, or itchy, or uncomfortable, that’s when I’ll prescribe vaginal estrogen.

With so many symptoms of perimenopause, how is a woman supposed to know if something like increased migraines or having irregular periods is a symptom of perimenopause — or if it’s something else?

Well, it’s important to obviously talk to one’s doctor because it could be a thyroid abnormality, which is something that can throw off your period. Depending on a woman’s age, one has to be somewhat suspect that it’s perimenopause. But really as women get into their 40s, it’s not unusual for periods to start to change — many women notice their periods or are closer together. And then they ultimately space out again, and what happens is your hormone fluctuations become huge. Estrogen levels can get super high, and they can drop and be super low. And it is these highs and lows that can cause women to notice more prominent mood swings, or irregular bleeding.

All of that said, if you’re on the pill, it’s very difficult to tell. But if somebody has symptoms, and they’re on the pill and taking the placebos, they may notice that they’re much more hormonally sensitive during those few days off. Maybe they’ve started having night sweats and hot flashes just during those few days off. But you can’t really accurately do a test unless somebody is really off the pill to figure out where they are hormonally.

Tell us about the dreaded menopausal belly fat. What causes it, and is there anything that you can do to combat it?

Estradiol levels drop with age, and estradiol does play a role with the way women metabolize glucose and carbohydrates. So as we get older, our metabolic rates slow down.

The other thing is with age, women frequently become more sedentary. This, coupled with the decrease in estrogen and the way they’re metabolizing carbohydrates, fat redistributes itself, and many women will notice that they’re getting a little bit plumper as they age. I know it’s very scary, the concept of aging. A lot of aging is genetic, but exercise and healthy eating are the most important things to combat weight gain. You have to make it your mission. Prioritizing exercise and a healthy diet goes a long way. Posture is also crucial. As women age, changes in posture can result in a more protuberant abdomen. So practicing yoga or pilates can be incredibly helpful. Increasing core strength not only helps posture, but it prevents falls, and a perk is that it helps to keep the tummy in!

Written and reported by producer Emily Pinto.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

Do you have any burning questions about women’s health that you’ve been too afraid to ask? If you’re thinking it, we know other women are too! Write to us at info@katiecouric.com and we might feature your question in the next installment of “In Your Business with Dr. B” And of course, we will keep your info confidential!

In Your Business With Dr. B was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

As the country continues to reconfigure a new normal amidst a global pandemic and calls for racial equality, higher learning institutions are entering uncharted territory. So what’s it like to be on or off-campus right now? KCM gets the scoop from college students, themselves…

Jillian Kuehn, a journalism student at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, reflects on a canceled reporting trip — and writes about making the most of her senior year from her parent’s house.

Once upon a time, in the college town of Chapel Hill, life was very different. As a current senior journalism student at the University of North Carolina, I often feel like my college life before Covid-19 shutdowns was an imagined fairytale.

The doors of my journalism school were once propped wide open; kids packed tightly into the broadcast studio on show days for live tapings of “Carolina Week” and “Sports Xtra.” But that on-air sign hasn’t beamed red in months. My once abuzz school sits in silence.

In August, due to a huge spike in Covid-19 cases, classes were pushed completely online after just the first week of in-person instruction. In reminiscing on my fairytale college days, I often return to the Most Memorable Week of my collegiate journalism career.

It was during my junior year.

Hurricane Dorian swept through the Bahamas. I at last faced the kind of story I’d only ever watched unfold on the news. With a plane ticket trembling in my hands and pounds of heavy camera equipment, I left for Hope Town, Bahamas on a grant from my journalism school to tell stories of survival from the front lines.

Mike was a red-cheeked man of about 40 or so. His voice was deep and rich. The day Dorian made landfall was the day he realized glass could bend; he pressed his palms up against the windows of his home and felt the rough wind causing the glass to cave inward. When the winds were at their worst, Mike grabbed onto a drifting kayak — and used it to save the lives of his two neighbors.

He said he was done talking about the hurricane, until he heard about me.

Mike went to UNC-Chapel Hill, too and he said he decided to talk to me because of our shared alma mater. When I returned home, my story from the trip aired on our local news station, reaching peak ratings for the entire month of March of 2019. I felt pride in this moment.

It’s coming up on a year since my conversation with Mike. You can imagine my joy when I received approval from my journalism school advisers to make a second trip to the Bahamas this past August to report on the continued recovery efforts. You can then imagine my despair when Covid-19 barred all university-sanctioned travel.

Instead of reporting in the Bahamian sun, I’m stuck inside my parent’s house behind a computer screen. My days consist of pestering potential story leads who have no time to talk, or trying to find a job that doesn’t require three to five years of previous work experience.

However, I decided I wouldn’t let the cancellation of this trip stop me from doing some on-the-ground reporting. Once I realized my university would fund travel within the state, I pitched a story and quickly received approval to spend two days in the Outer Banks with the Hoi Toiders — a group of island natives who speak in a dialect similar to old Elizabethan English.

We sat at a distance from each other, wearing masks and profusely sanitizing our hands in between interviews. The video piece I’m working on highlights their struggle to keep the dialect alive, as it’s projected to die out with the very few who still speak it. In an unfortunate coincidence, The Hoi Toiders’ home, like Mike’s, was also struck terribly by Hurricane Dorian.

I don’t know when I’ll get to the Bahamas and see Mike again. I also don’t know when my university will resume in-person instruction, or when students will finally flood onto the quad. It looks like we won’t be back on campus anytime soon: our spring break was just canceled, which doesn’t exactly make me hopeful that Covid-19’s defeat is on the horizon. I don’t know when the red on-air sign in the broadcast studio will flip back on again, or when the virus will meet its match in a tiny glass vial.

In the meantime, there’s an obnoxious amount of Bahamian-style macaroni and cheese in my fridge. (Mike recently sent me the recipe for his famous macaroni after he found out I could no longer make the trip to the island.)

And I’ve really enjoyed putting together the story about the Outer Banks. This semester hasn’t been easy, but through this experience, I’ve learned being a journalist simply requires getting out there, and having the willpower to ask important questions about the world around you — no matter the circumstances.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

A Student Journalist On How The Pandemic Upended Her Senior Year was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Director Dawn Porter just tackled civil rights icon John Lewis in her film, John Lewis: Good Trouble. Now, she’s spotlighting a new icon: former White House photographer Pete Souza.

In The Way I See It, Porter showcases Souza’s experiences capturing President Ronald Reagan and President Barack Obama in the White House — and follows Souza’s foray into activism during President Donald Trump’s administration.

Despite their different policies and viewpoints, Porter explains that Reagan and Obama had more in common than you would think. She weighs in on what she hopes viewers learn from the film and carry into the election below…

Wake-Up Call: We’re in the midst of the 2020 election right now, with people sending in mail-in ballots and going to the polls early. What did you hope to convey about the executive office as a whole in this movie? What do you hope people learn about Pete and his experiences?

Dawn Porter: I hope that people will remember how important the office of the presidency is and how important ethical, compassionate, intelligent, calm leadership is in this country. We’ve had that before and that is not a partisan idea. This is a human idea, and I hope people will take those memories with them as they go to vote.

It was so interesting to see the Obama and Reagan administrations through Pete’s eyes, side by side. What do you hope to show about each of them?

Pete spent so much time working under a Republican president and a Democratic president. He admired the way each of them did their jobs. He didn’t love their every decision — we all have different opinions about particular policies. But at each administration’s core, they were both presidents who respected other people.

They put the American people first and Americans respected them. Souza had a bird’s-eye view of what that kind of leadership looks like. And I think his photos underscore the importance of that. I think it also makes us miss when there was a time when we really had confidence in our leadership.

One of the most interesting points to me from the documentary, is that, unlike other administrations, President Trump doesn’t let a photographer take personal photos of him in the White House.

I think it raises a lot of questions, you know? The presidency is the people’s house. You serve at the pleasure of the people and it’s important for us to know what’s happening, how decisions are being made, who is making them and what the process is. You can’t trust the outcome if you don’t trust the process.

We’re missing a window into the process, which was much more apparent in prior administrations.

Besides a sort of nostalgia for what we’re missing, as you mentioned, what do you hope viewers gain from watching this right now?

I hope they enjoy it. I hope they remember a calmer time. I hope they feel inspired and proud that this country was able to come together to elect its first African American president, and that president represented us ably and around the world, and that the United States was respected.

That doesn’t mean you agree with everything, but it meant there was a basic level of respect. The Obama administration respected other countries and in turn, they respected the administration. I hope people remember that. I really worry that people don’t just throw up their hands and say all politicians are bad. That’s not true. This politician is bad. I hope this helps them remember that there are people who go into public service for the right reasons and do their best in an ethical, competent and compassionate way.

In the past you’ve covered a lot of hot button topics, like abortion rights. How was making this documentary different?

Those were more about analyzing particular policies and choices. This is about something that’s fundamental to every human being — which is character. I hope that the lessons of this film translate to a lot of other areas. It’s not just about the presidency. It’s about how we as citizens behave.

I think that this is more about empathy and compassion and the idea that the president of the United States is still at the very core a person. What do we all value in people? We like people who are kind and caring. And we value people who work hard and treat each other with respect. And so that transcends your political party. That’s just about being a person.

Lastly, is there anything that really surprised you about the making of this documentary and working with Pete?

I love seeing in the Reagan administration, seeing he’s in his 20s, he was really young and you know, the idea to see somebody at the beginning of their career and how he’s trying to make his way, he’s trying to figure it out. And that’s like an experience all of us will have had, or will have at some point, but then for him to be able to come do the same job, you know, many years later… It was just such a cool experience to see somebody when they were young and then when they were older and then now to have his perspective on both periods of his service.

What’s next for you? Do you have any other projects in the works?

I’m just finishing up a series about mental health with Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry. During the pandemic, I think everybody has experienced a mental health strain and the series really addresses what that looks like in many different forms. It’s going to get into the stigma about needing help and feeling anxious or depressed. They’re going to dive into it in a really personal way. I’m super excited about that!

Written and Reported by staff writer Amanda Svachula.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

Filmmaker Dawn Porter on What The Reagan and Obama Administrations Had in Common was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Today, for my Wake-Up Call newsletter (subscribe here!), I’m sharing another installment of a humor series from my friend Pam Goldman, centering on a woman named Ramona, who tries to help… in her own way. If you’re new to this series: Here’s the previous installment. Read on.

Did you take ballet when you were a child? I did. Miss Pat Likely’s Dance Studio was next to the Food Fair in Linden, New Jersey and my mother took me there every Wednesday afternoon and Saturday morning for ballet, tap and acrobatic lessons. I don’t believe I asked for these but she clearly wanted a ballerina in the family and my older brother wasn’t game.

I will never forget learning first, second, third, fourth and fifth positions in my butter-soft leather pink ballet slippers with an elastic strap to keep my feet in them. I loved my black leotards and pink tights but nothing got me going like my pink tulle tutu. I was a princess in the making.

For the Spring recital a professional seamstress was called in from the dry cleaners next door to measure us for our costumes. My first costume was for the tap number. Picture Ginger Rogers as a seven year old. I wore a top hat awash in lime green glitter with kelly green glitter for the brim, a lime green satin blouse with kelly green satin shorts and a lime green satin jacket with dark green satin lapels. I squiggled my skinny legs into black fishnet stockings barely held up by a pre-teen garter belt (I had no hips) and bottomed off with my shiny black patent leather tap shoes secured with black grosgrain bows.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t mess up once during the tap routine, though the whole thing is a blur almost 3/4th of a century later. I was a bit self-conscious during the ballet portion of the performance as I had unfortunately inherited my father’s bowed legs which seemed to be highlighted in pink tights. Picture me on tippy toes with a set of parentheses holding me up where muscular calves should have been. Suffice it to say I didn’t have the perfect body for ballet.

The acrobatic portion of the recital was centered on doing splits, cartwheels and jumping jacks. We were all sweating to the max by the end and though we were too young for deodorant I think they should have broken the rules on that. After the curtain call I got dressed quickly and had a pen at the ready for autograph hounds outside but there weren’t any. My mom and I waited a few minutes and then got in the maroon Dodge and went home.

In college I was a theater major and lo and behold, one of the required freshman classes was Ballet I. I was thrilled to get into ballet slippers and a leotard again!

Plie, rond de jambe, arabesque, battement! Might I still be a ballerina? I had become a fan of the Bolshoi’s prima ballerina Maya Plisetskaya, whose long arms waved like water in “Swan Lake.” I wondered if I might become the American swan even though my arms were shorter.

Long story, short arms: I didn’t.

However half a century later, living on the East side of Manhattan, I was sagging in my middle, becoming pear-shaped, and trying to get in shape by going to my $1-per month gym ($1. First six months, 50 cents thereafter), walking the treadmill and panting on the elliptical three times a week. But I was getting nowhere quick at 3.5 miles an hour. I had a light bulb moment.

I called the studio where I had taken my own daughters to study ballet. Ballet Academy was founded by Miss Lily, a mature twenty-something with incredible business acumen. She had built her school into the go-to-place for mothers looking for a healthy after school activity for their daughters.

I called Miss Lily and said my dream of becoming a ballerina had never faded. Was I too old to brush up on my technique? “Never too old! Four hundred seventy-five dollars for 8 lessons,” she said. I gave her my debit card with my non-arthritic hand.

“A size 10 ballet shoe?” the octogenarian former ballerina Miss Giselle asked incredulously from behind the counter at the Capezio shop. “I don’t believe we carry that size.” She disappeared behind a pink curtain, her feet pointing out and returned moments later with a slim box. “We do go as high as size 9. Would you like to try them?”

I shoehorned myself in, my toes curled under my foot. “These work” I assured her.“And I need a black leotard, pink tights and a pink tutu.” “A tutu?” she said giving me a not-so-subtle once-over. “Yes, I’ll take one with an elastic waist please.”

There were eight of us in the intermediate class. The brochure had said it was for “those who have had the ballet experience, are familiar with nomenclature for specific ballet movements and can fork over $475 for 8 lessons.” I qualified for one out of three.

I hadn’t expected actual ballerinas in my class but there they were, muscular calves, sinewy arms, delicately poised at the barre ahead of me. No one else wore a tutu. I took first position, bent my knees and dipped for the first plié. I felt a twinge in my lower back but powered through and dipped even further on the second plié, praying as I did.

When we had to prance across the room, one at a time on a diagonal, doing an arabesque mid-way, I made sure I was last in line, hoping those ahead of me would be breathless and looking for their water bottles when I took my leap. I can only report that I did not fall.

I don’t think, as I took the measure of the other ballet students, that any of them had had 2 Cesareans, as I had. Their stomachs were visibly concave. Truth be told I wore Spanx under my leotard but seeing my profile in the mirror made me want to sue its founder, Sara Blakely.

There comes a time in life when you want to see an orthopedist. After my fourth class was that time. My knees were killing from the jumps. Here’s what the doc recommended. “Act your age,” he said. I ignored the co-pay on the way out. I was so furious.

If you asked me if I wanted to be a brain surgeon and I was say, over 50, I’m no fool. I know that’s impossible. But I thought maybe a senior ballerina who did free performances at assisted living facilities might be a possibility.

Who’s laughing now? I’m booked through November.

The last word: VOTE!

Pam Goldman is a writer, therapist, wife, mother and (young) grandmother. Her work has been published in The New York Times and VIVA Magazine. She is completing her first book, titled LEFT.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

RAMONA ON CORONA and……..Maya and me was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

As winter hits, and we face the double-threat of the flu and Covid-19, it’s important to make sure we’re taking the right precautions to protect ourselves and our loved ones.

Since we’re continuing to live in uncertain times, our Wake-Up Call newsletter (subscribe here!) turned to Safeguard Senior Scientist Dr. Maiysha Jones for some advice on when we should be sudsing up — and where else to clean so our handwashing isn’t in vain.

Wake-Up Call: Now that we’re heading into winter, we’re facing the threat of the flu AND Covid-19. What is the proper way to watch your hands?

According to the CDC, hand washing is one of the most effective ways to prevent the spread of germs and one of the best ways to protect you and your family from getting sick.

Proper handwashing begins with clean running water. Wet your hands and rub them together with soap making sure to get between your fingers, under your nails, and the backs of your hands. Scrub for at least 20 seconds, rinse with clean running water, and then dry with a clean towel.

What are the key times people should wash their hands?

Most importantly, this time of year, we should wash our hands after sneezing, coughing, blowing your nose, or caring for someone who is sick.

We should also wash our hands anytime we’ve been in a public place or touched shared objects or surfaces like door handles or shopping carts. And of course, after using the restroom, interacting with animals or garbage, when preparing food, and before eating.

What are the tradeoffs (if any) between washing your hands with soap and water vs. with hand sanitizer?

While soap and water is the best choice for hand washing, an alcohol-based hand sanitizer is a good alternative when soap and water are not available. Be aware that sanitizers do not eliminate all types of germs, and they are not as effective on visibly dirty or greasy hands. Also, as with proper handwashing, there is a proper way to use hand sanitizers. You should apply the product to the palm of one hand and rub hands together using enough to cover all surfaces. Continue rubbing until hands are dry. Check the label to make sure the sanitizer contains at least 60% ethanol or isopropanol. These are the only 2 alcohols permitted by the US FDA to be active ingredients in alcohol-based hand sanitizers.

I just washed my hands, but are there other places I should clean as well, so as not to defeat the purpose of washing my hands?

Be mindful of what you are touching after washing your hands. Be sure to clean and disinfect any shared surfaces frequently. This can be a challenge in public spaces, but simple things like using a tissue to open the door, for example, can help keep those just-washed hands clean! When was the last time you disinfected your cell phone, tablet, remote control, or steering wheel? What about the doorknobs in your home? Consider disinfecting these high-touch objects and surfaces that we do have control over on a regular basis.

Do you have a favorite song you like to sing to keep on track for washing your hands for 20 seconds?

“Happy Birthday” is always a good choice! Sing it through twice, and you should hit that 20-second mark!

What do you recommend in between washing your hands to prevent Covid-19 transmission?

The best way to prevent the transmission of any illness is to follow the guidance of public health experts. In addition to washing your hands often and cleaning and disinfecting high-touch surfaces, avoiding close personal contact by practicing social distancing, wearing a mask that covers the nose and mouth, staying home when ill or after exposure to an ill person, and coughing or sneezing into your elbow are all good recommendations.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

How To Properly Wash Your Hands This Winter was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

In the halls of North Shore High School, where the characters in Tina Fey’s hit film, Mean Girls gossip and scheme to no end — a student named Damian is a breath of fresh air. He’s hilarious and loyal to his friends. He also happens to be gay — and proud of it.

“He’s probably the most unproblematic character in the movie,” says Daniel Franzese, who played Damian in the film. “He’s a lot more mature than most of the high schoolers — he’s comfortable in his own skin.”

While playing Damian, Franzese, 26 at the time, was silently grappling with coming to terms with his own identity. Although he knew he was gay, he was terrified of being outed: “I was afraid of America. It wasn’t just about being ashamed of who I was — it was about losing family members. It was about losing my livelihood.”

Born into a devout Christian family in Brooklyn, Franzese struggled to reconcile his sexual identity with his Christian beliefs from an early age: “I’ve always been Christian and I’ve always been gay, and I think those two things have always combated each other.”

At age 21, he voluntarily underwent conversion therapy treatment, which is the pseudoscientific practice of attempting to change a person’s sexual orientation. He was diagnosed as “bi-curious,” and was told that it was his mother’s fault for “openly talking about sexual things” within their household.

“My mom had been the most accepting person in my life, and she didn’t care if I was gay or not,” Franzese said. “When I told her I was bi (after conversion therapy), which is how I decided to identify when I came out to her, she said, ‘Duh.’ But then I told her, ‘There’s more. It’s your fault.’”

By his mid-twenties, Franzese was already well on his way to establishing himself as an actor, appearing in big-budget films like Stateside alongside actors Carrie Fisher and Rachael Leigh Cook. When Mean Girls was released in 2004, Franzese became a household name for his brilliant depiction of Damian — and everything his character represented to the LGBTQ+ community: a fully formed, three-dimensional gay character. But ironically, the role actually had a dire impact on Franzese’s career, as he continued to hide his own sexuality:

Although the years after Mean Girls were some of the hardest of Franzese’s life, the positive praise he received from the LGBTQ+ community for bringing Damian to life had a major impact on his own journey toward self acceptance. “This movie is so much of my identity — it’s attached to me. I think it set me on a journey to find out what else I was.” That journey, along with the support of Mean Girls fans, gave Franzese the courage to come out of the closet in 2014.

His self-acceptance couldn’t fix entrenched issues with Hollywood’s representation in the film industry — “They’re still giving our parts to straight people,” says Franzese, “But they’re still not letting us into straight peoples’ worlds.”

But it did allow him to carve out a space of his own: Along with his friend, writer Azariah Southworth, Franzese now hosts Yass Jesus, a podcast that explores the intersection between the LGBTQ+ and Christian communities. In between touring as a stand-up comedian, he records two episodes of the podcast a week. In some ways, he believes the dry spell in his career was fate: “I wouldn’t have time to do Yass Jesus if I was playing Cam on Modern Family, or something. We’re changing lives with this simple little podcast.” Fans agree, describing the podcast as “a light… during a dark time for me,” “a celebration of love in all aspects,” and “what the world needs.”

So what can an audience expect at one of Franzese’s Stand-up shows? “I mostly just make fun of my mom,” he laughs. “I had this series on YouTube, Sh*t Italian Moms Say, that got really popular. Now I just do her whenever. I’ll wear a wig even when I have a beard, and I put on lipstick and crooked nails.”

Since he came out, Franzese and his mother are closer than ever, and she even had her own five minutes of fame. When the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015, a friend of hers posted an anti-gay comment on Facebook. Daniel remembers her reaction, which went viral: “She started crying, and I just pulled out my phone and said, ‘it’s like the burn book, tell it to them, honey,’ and I put her on Periscope.” Through her tears, Daniel’s mother says, “I am proud to be the mother of my son who is gay.”

Although Daniel has come a long way since Mean Girls, Damian lives on as an inspiration for queer teens everywhere. During the cast reunion, Daniel described a fan letter he received years after the movie came out: “The person said to me, ‘when I was in eighth grade, I was tortured for being chubby, and I was beaten up for being a sissy… And then your movie came out. I just want to thank you for being something in media that I could point to and say, that’s me.’” It’s a moment that would have Damian saying, “You Go, Glenn Coco.”

Written and Reported by Producer Emily Pinto.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

Where Is Damian From ‘Mean Girls’ Now? was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A University of Kentucky nursing student on learning medical procedures over Zoom

As the country continues to reconfigure a new normal amidst a global pandemic and calls for racial equality, higher learning institutions are entering uncharted territory. So what’s it like to be on or off-campus right now? KCM gets the scoop from college students, themselves…

Julia Way, a junior at the University of Kentucky, didn’t expect to be learning how to insert a catheter from home — but being a nursing student during a pandemic required some creativity from students and professors. Now she’s more motivated than ever to enter the healthcare field.

In March, when the University of Kentucky decided we would not be returning to campus from spring break, the solution was to hold classes over Zoom. But, as a nursing student, Zoom couldn’t exactly solve all my problems. Hands-on learning is at the center of the nursing curriculum. How was I going to take classes from my childhood home in California — over 2000 miles away and in a different time zone? Was I still going to graduate on time without clinical experience in the hospital?

In the spring, I was supposed to be learning how to start IVs and catheter insertions, and thankfully, our professors found creative ways for us to learn the skills at home. To learn how to insert a catheter, I used a Dunkin Donuts coffee lid to simulate the patient, a plastic straw as the catheter, wrapping paper as sterile packaging, and dishwashing gloves as sterile gloves. Our classes covering nursing fundamentals and pathopharmacology, the study of drug treatments, were held over Zoom. Every week, we would break down clinical scenarios with our nursing instructors to simulate real-life patient situations.

But, no matter how creative our professors could be, nothing can replace in-person experience. As aspiring nurses, we missed out on two and a half months in the hospital practicing crucial skills including inserting IVs, catheters, and interacting with patients. It was concerning to think about everything we were missing out on, such as the hospital experience, in-person exams, study time with peers, face-to-face learning, and demonstrations. As the semester came to a close, many of my peers and I questioned what life would look like come Fall 2020 and I think it’s safe to say that we never imagined the pandemic still ongoing.

Towards the end of summer, the University of Kentucky announced that students would be allowed to return to campus for the 2020–2021 school year and classes would be in-person, virtual, or hybrid, depending on the specific college and professor. Dorm buildings, sorority houses, libraries, and dining halls would be open and would require social distancing and masks at all times. The College of Nursing decided that our classes would rotate between in-person and online, depending on our specific comfort levels. Every Wednesday at 6:45 am, I walk to UK Albert B. Chandler Hospital Pavilion A with my scrubs, mask, and protective glasses, for my shift on the med-surgical floor. As students, we are not allowed in Covid-19 patients’ rooms and we follow all precautionary measures including consistent hand-washing, PPE, university-enforced periodic Covid-19 testing, and two screenings before entering the hospital. The first screening is the university-wide “Daily 4.0” questionnaire that asks about possible exposure, potential symptoms, and an agreement to follow precautions like mask-wearing and social distancing, while the second screening, which I complete on Wednesday mornings, ensures the hospital that I’m abiding by precautionary measures. Our professors have done a wonderful job checking in with the students, and if someone is exposed to Covid-19, or contracts the virus, they’re able to access material virtually or make up hours another time.

I am now approaching my ninth week at the hospital for clinical and I’ve learned more than I ever expected. I meet patients on the floor that are in their most vulnerable moments of life. On a med-surgical floor, you see all kinds of situations, including organ failure, severe trauma from accidents, fractures, and even psychiatric disorders. Each nurse I have worked with has so much wisdom to share after working in the hospital during this unprecedented time. I’m so inspired and motivated as I see them continue to put the patients’ needs before their own.

The University of Kentucky College of Nursing and my clinical instructor, Lisa Thompson, have given me time to practice skills I couldn’t learn in person last semester and ensured that I have plenty of learning opportunities in front of me. After eight weeks on my hospital floor and one twelve-hour shift in the Emergency Department, I feel confident as I walk into a patient’s room. I know how to properly administer medication, and the Dunkin Donuts cup training luckily worked — I have successfully inserted my first catheter and started my first IV! Navigating nursing school through a pandemic has reinforced why I wanted to go into the medical field and taught me to capitalize on every opportunity as a learning moment.

My only hope is that the University of Kentucky students and the city of Lexington continue to follow public health guidelines to make sure future nurses have their chance to learn in person.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

I’m Training To Be A Nurse During The Pandemic. was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The author and comedian weighed in on cancel culture and the need for laughter amid these uncertain times.

Within the past several years, the idea that a person can be “canceled” — or culturally blocked from having a prominent public platform or career — has become a contentious topic of debate.

Veteran stand-up comedian Judy Gold pushed back against this notion of “cancel culture” saying it amounts to an assault on comedy and represents a fundamental attack against the integrity of the art.

“We’ve got to stop canceling comedians because a world without laughter really — I mean is there a reason to live if you can’t laugh?” Gold told Wake-Up Call.

Gold believes comedy is not only a coping mechanism — but it can also serve as a unifying force amid these particularly polarizing times. “A great joke makes you laugh and it makes you think,” she said.

But she maintained that social media oftentimes perpetuates cancel culture, noting that content shared on social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook don’t always include key contextual information. According to Gold, comedy on these platforms is all about intent, context, and nuance.

“Stop picking out words and saying, ‘You can’t say this, you can’t say that.’ Listen to the whole thought,” Gold said.

Known for her edgy wit, the two-time Emmy Award winner isn’t afraid to take on potentially touchy topics, including politics. She argues that nothing should be considered off-limits — unless of course, the crowd is laughing for the wrong reasons.

“I’m a lesbian — if I do a joke about lesbians and I think the audience is laughing because they’re homophobic, I will then call that out,” she explained. “If I do a Jewish joke and I think the audience is taking it the wrong way, I will then call that out.”

Gold tackles the issue of cancel culture head-on in her new book, Yes, I Can Say That: When They Come for the Comedians, We Are All in Trouble, which explores the notion of free speech from a comedian’s perspective.

Offering an overview of comedy history throughout the years, the book chronicles how comedians ranging from Richard Pryor to Kathy Griffin and Kevin Hart have been under fire for using provocative, often taboo subjects to make jokes. The book also highlights the impact of legendary comedian Joan Rivers, who Gold says “epitomized the whole idea of free speech.”

“She always said, ‘I say all the things you’re thinking, but are afraid to say,’ which is true,” Gold said. “And she was fearless and she was never more relevant than when she died.”

Gold bemoaned the treatment of Rivers throughout her life and even after her death, calling it “mindboggling” but not surprising. After her death in 2014, Rivers wasn’t recognized in the annual “In Memoriam” montage at the 2015 Oscars. This exclusion garnered criticism with many believing that the late comedian had been unfairly snubbed.

“It was ridiculous, but her plight was so much that of a woman,” Gold said.

Gold, who knew Rivers personally, said the late comedian was not only iconic but also very much supportive of other female comics in what is still today, a heavily male-dominated field.

But Gold said that the comedy world has started to change for the better following the #MeToo Movement. Like many other industries, the rise of #MeToo has made an impact on comedy. Among the more high-profile names to be called out by the movement is comedian Louis C.K., who was accused by multiple women of sexual misconduct in 2017. In addition to embarking on a comeback tour and performing at sold-out shows, the comedian has since released a comedy special, where he addressed the allegations.

Gold believes the #MeToo Movement has been largely positive for women in comedy, saying it has brought many women in the community together.

“Women have to support each other and make room for each other and open doors for one another,” she said.

Written and reported by senior writer Tess Bonn.

This appeared in Katie Couric’s Wake-Up Call newsletter. Subscribe here.

Comedian Judy Gold Rips Cancel Culture: “We’ve Got to Stop Canceling Comedians” was originally published in Wake-Up Call on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.