Day 1 of 100

8 min readOct 31, 2024

I never saw men kiss until 1979

I grew up protected.

I lived in Springfield, PA , Delaware County, PA.

I went to Catholic Grade School ( Our Lady of Perpetual Help), Catholic High School (Cardinal O’Hara), and I even went for a year and a half to LaSalle University in North Philly, although that was much different than might be imagined.

Eventually, I transferred to West Chester University so I could be around the music world, my Crossmen buddies, and as a way to avoid the subway rides back to my “neck of the woods” to teach marching bands. Subway rides in the 70’s in Philly were intense ( story for another time)

I was pretty much a geek. I was book smart for sure, I was a big sports kid, but, generally, I was a loner. Sure, I hung around with the neighborhood kids, including “stickball” in the streets, I played some basketball, baseball, and I remember sledding down the street ( Greenbriar Lane) — — all the time with live traffic coming up and down the street from time to time.

I was the oldest of four kids, ( the Catholic Plan … each 16 or so months apart) I went to church, I read a great deal, and I used to sit on the front step waiting for the Philadelphia Bulletin to be delivered around 4 pm. I would grab the sports section, before my Uncle Joe, and sit on the living room rocker for a good hour or two devouring everything I could understand.

I lived maybe 10 miles from Philadelphia … but I almost never ventured to the big, bad city. My grandmother would take us at Christmas on the train to see the Christmas show at Gimbels, but, I do not remember EVER, going the city as a kid with my parents.

Indeed, only when in high school did I get to Philly, and that was thanks to my being in “advanced placement” English class which included a monthly trip downtown to see a play at the Forrest Theater. And yes … we were on our own. WOW!

Now, my dad did take me to Phillies games in North Philly at Connie Mack Stadium. Frankly, he had no choice. I was unbearable. I would sit at the table after dinner just hammering him, quoting stats, talking scheduled, until he relented.

We started going in 1964 and we went at least 4–5 times a year, alway in left field, or along the third base line if we had a little cash.

Before I went to college,

I never explored the city
I never at Chinese Food, or Japanese Food
we had Spaghetti on Wednesdays, fish on Fridays, “bread and milk” for breakfast, any kind of cereal you could think of, peanut butter and marshmallow most every lunch, and we were even forced to eat liver once and awhile.

Our neighborhood was segregated …. 100% white, but, just “behind us”, was a neighborhood that was 100% black …. in Morton, PA. The two never met … my parents, particularly my mother, was a racist as were many of the people who crossed my pathway.

Once when I was home from college, my mom, Joanne, made lunch and she, my dad and I were sitting on the pouch. Out of nowhere, my mom said to me “ I know you think I am a racist, but, I am NOT. I looked …a little bit speechless. Before I could say anything, she went on “Yesterday, I had lunch with a black woman”.

I tried not to laugh; I knew she was proud of herself but … I was a college kid right :-). “Mom … do you hear yourself”. She stared back.

I let it drop.

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Over my college years, I did venture out. My summers of drum corps did open a few doors to different people, and different views of the world, but … not really.

I hung with the music guys, I went to my classes, I was not really a drinker (I was a lightweight), and I was never much into weed. Down the line I did have my time with drugs but, without question, I was about how I could stay awake, work longer, work faster, and get more done.

If I drank beer …. I would throw up after a few. Indeed, at LaSalle, my nickname was “quarter George”. Why ?? They would drag me down to the corner bar some evenings and after one beer ( a $25 cent draft) … I was done. :-)

So …. to the point finally …

When I first started teaching the Garfield Cadets in 1979, one of the first people I met was Susan Erben.

There was a party at a member’s house and yes … staff, members and alumni were all under one roof. As a sort of safety valve I guess, I remember most all “slept over” , on the floor in sleeping bags. I guess it was better than having people drive. Plus, we had rehearsal the next day. I am not too sure this would meet today’s guidelines. Mom and Dad were on site so … all seemed good :-)

Susan had marched in the Cadets in 1978. She was not planning to march in 1979 ( the corps was not very good), but, she was friends with many who were at the party and some who we still hoped might march. We spent a good deal of time chatting that evening, and within a week or so, we were on a date.

Sue was attending college at New York University, I was teaching high school in Pennsylvania and commuting on weekends to teach the corps. Back in those days, you would rehearse a good part of the day but evenings were off … no stayover at a school. Most kids were local … maybe some came from CT but, not the massive travel that came into play just a few years down the road.

So, I drove into NYC, which was the first time I had ever been to New York City in my life. YIKES !!!!! I met Susan at her dorm on 5th Avenue, and our first walk was to Greenwich Village. Sue was all about showing me around.

It did not take her long to see I was “ a country bumpkin”

We headed to Christopher Street, she was explaining this and that, and well … I suddenly froze. I heard Sue, in her very heavy NY accent , yell, while she slapped my arm “Geoooge. Stop Staaaaaarin”.

I looked back … “Those two men are kissing”. I was dumbfounded. I was not laughing. I was stunned. I had never ….

I knew about gay people. I pretended to be a liberal at that point in my life (I was a bleeding heart for sure) … but I had never seen men kiss. Ever !!!!! I am not sure if I had in a movie. Maybe? But in real life. NO WAY.

The rest of the evening was nothing but an education. We went for NY Pizza, we had ice cream at the first Hagendaz store I had ever seen … so good !! and we talked and talked and talked . Or … I should say …. I listened. Sue knew how to keep a conversation going.

I am not sure I realized it, but my education as an adult started that evening. Sue and I dated ( round 1) for about three years. We actually lived in a house with George Z, Marc Sylvester, and Jim Prime in 1982–83. Now that … was an education :-)

Susan and I reconnected through life, dating for periods of time in the 90s, the 2000s and a few times before and after. Sue worked for the Metropolitan Opera for 16 years, I was in grad school in NYC off and on for 17 years … so … we had the chance to get together for chats and updates now and then. She kept me grounded.

Unfortunately, Susan died in a car accident in June of 2010 while returning to NY after working on fundraising and other development efforts for Youth Education in the Arts.

As for me …

Well, I slowly escaped from the protective, somewhat caged life I had as a growing youngster. I met so many people, I had so many conversations, I read so much, experienced so much ….

and today I stand proud. I still have more to learn. I still have more to achieve. I still have friends to support and people I have yet to meet. Not all has been what I expected, not all has been fair, but here I am … 68 years old with 34 more to go.

Frankly, I am embarrassed to tell this story … but it was who I was. And I guess as they say, life is a process. And I for sure … can say … that statement is very, very, very true