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Invisible Illness

Medium’s biggest mental health publication

Member-only story

You Are In Control of Your Life

4 min readAug 22, 2021

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Hand reaching toward the light.
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Sitting down on the sofa, I recalled something someone had said to me recently. “Are you really relaxing and enjoying what you’re doing, or are you dissociating?” I thought about it, and I realized I wasn’t very present when doing anything recently. My memory of what I did just a few hours ago was hazy. I just wasn’t paying attention to my own life.

Some of you who follow me know that I deal with double depression, anxiety, PTSD and a handful of other serious illnesses, primarily physical in nature.

For those of you who do not know me, I have a number of uncomfortable ailments to push through every day. Some of the things I deal with include endometriosis (Stage III), double depression (a combination of a depressed mood with some additional times of deeper depression) as well as moderate-persistent asthma. I have an unknown allergy that causes anaphylaxis, and I had PTSD from health-related issues many years ago. Migraines add to the list along with ovarian cysts.

It’s enough to wear anyone out, but I have to stay positive. About two weeks ago I said enough was enough of my, “I have no interests or activities” depression. I also got tired of myself feeling sorry for myself and disconnecting from my own life.

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Catrina Cowart
Catrina Cowart

Written by Catrina Cowart

A professional writer and illustrator with over a decade of experience, a published book series, and interesting work-from-home experience.

Invisible Illness
Invisible Illness

Published in Invisible Illness

Medium’s biggest mental health publication