Day 16 of 40: Victory continued
Welcoming and entertaining doubts and fears.
Continued from Day 15.
Theme for Day 16: Victory!
“Fight not for Victory but from a place of victory. Whatever lies before you, know that you have everything within you to forge ahead. Victory is certain.”
Today I hit a wobbly.
A wobbly so completely in line with the theme of victory, but in the opposite direction! As the reality hit of me concluding my current sales and facilitation role tomorrow, I found myself feeling quite overwhelmed as to where to next, with the all too familiar doubts rising as to whether the Universe really has my back.
I did find it amusing just how much the illusion of certainty brings a sense of calm and ease.
Because the reality is, even if I had an amazing investment portfolio, was doing work I was passionate about and generously remunerated for, it would all be a false sense of security because at any moment anything could happen that changes everything.
Tomorrow night is also my first mindfulness gathering. I could feel the doubts and fears about this too, with crazy voices going off, ‘What if no one arrives? What value do you really have to share? What if you bore people silly?’
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I needed to do a Rumi and welcome these guests of overwhelm, doubt, fear and worry, meeting them laughing at the door.
I also needed to keep anchored in truth, challenging the thinking fueling these emotions. Was I comparing the reality I find myself in now with a picture in my head (or someone else’s head) of how I would rather things were? Was I craving certainty and security? Do either of these ever really exist?
And to check-in, ask these sensations, ‘Who do you all belong to?’ I had a sneaky suspicion I knew just who! I remembered to compassionately return to sender in love.
Amidst my wobbly about my financial circumstances, an email caught my eye for an interactive evening about shifting energies around money. I decided to go.
The event booking form posed one question, ‘ What is your biggest money challenge?’
I replied that the concept completely alludes me. I get the idea that money is simply energy. If I’m honest, I admit to currently seeing it as a hindrance to me pursuing avenues that make my heart sing, as I can’t quite see how to monetise those things, and am faced with the reality of needing to support myself and my kids financially. There is a disconnect at some level. I do resonate with the idea that money is simply a measure of value delivered.
When I imagine all the things I’d like to do if I had all the time and money in the world, they are things like:
- Having a purpose-based business that is an example of conscious capitalism. A highly profitable business that models the possibility of having outrageous amounts of fun while sustainably adding value and contributing to the lives of all those associated, or
- Championing a school system that helps kids get a clearer sense of who they are. What their unique strengths and abilities are with ample opportunities to collaborate with others where they leverage one another’s value and strengths. Where they learn life skills and powerful tools to live their best lives possible. Where they learn about money and entrepreneurship and conscious capitalism. Where they get to experience themselves as active citizens, highly creative and resourceful and able to be the change they wish to see in the world.
This money event was hosted by fairy godmother Donna MaCallum. I loved Donna’s energy, how she engaged the audience, held space for some vulnerable sharing around money and included many exercises that made the evening wonderfully experiential. I gained a tremendous amount of value and came away with tools to start using immediately. I was grateful I honoured the nudge to go.
A gentle nudge
After leaving the event, I noticed a message from a friend about someone she knows who is looking to do some videos for her website. AHHA! Another Universal nudge to explore this option! Yesterday the woman at the complex…now this. A testament to my job being to willingly be present to each moment, paying attention, so I can receive the nudges, the signs as to the next step. One step at a time.
Thank you Day 16! Continues on Day 17.
