Member-only story
Because Why Not?
Funny Limericks About Raccoons
Five-Line Poems About Furry Marauders
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It’s been too long since I wrote limericks. What a shame to waste this God-forgiven talent.
Raccoon Limericks
There once was a raccoon named Clyde,
Who took every trash can in stride.
With a mask and no shame,
He would pillage with fame,
Though banana peels stuck to his hide.
A raccoon was fond of the night,
Said, “I dine by the softest porch light.
If the garbage bin’s sealed,
I consider it field-
Work, research, and my lawful right.”
A roisterous raccoon we’ll call Stan,
Had a five-point recycling plan.
He sorted through cans,
With his fast little hands,
Then he’d crash on a junkyard divan.
A raccoon with a burglar’s physique,
Robbed the campground three times in a week.
When made to confess,
He said, “Sir, I’m a guest,
Drawn to your nice bubble and squeak.”*
