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Reckoning
A Poem About Choosing Yourself
Choosing yourself
means facing your fears.
To do this, they must be named
and acknowledged.
We must understand how they inform our decisions.
Knowing that which makes us uncomfortable,
what we believe will hurt
if we touch it —
like a bruise, purple and angry looking.
This is the first step
in choosing ourselves. We must lean into that
discomfort and pain.
If we avoid it, try to step around it,
like some debris on our path,
it doesn’t dissipate
but keeps us rooted to that spot
unable to go forward. We languish there
tethered to fear, pain, uncertainty
unable to grow.
Leaning into what you believe will hurt
(maybe not as much as you anticipate)
but leaning into that, and getting close
is the only way to put your arms around it.
To hold it
as you would hold a struggling child
when they are scared.
Getting your arms around it
gives you a moment to breathe
and allow those thoughts to abate.
When we are children, about to get a shot,
we are terrified,
the anticipation far greater than any pain
we actually experienced.
This is that.
With no reckoning,
we remain a shadow of who we could be.
