Member-only story
Courting problems
I walked through the park with my male friend Jed
He asked me to marry him here’s what I said,
“Jed please desist from your urgin’
‘Cause I want to marry a virgin”.
If Jed was naughty it wasn’t with me,
I am a good girl as you all can see,
But I’ve heard that last year there was quite a spree
When the football supporters’ club took a coach to the sea,
And a fast girl called Myrtle sat on his knee
And hugged and kissed him most forcefully.
While the brass band was playing some tunes,
Seems Jed and Myrtle took a stroll in the dunes.
I’ve heard some tales about Myrtle
And she’s not a girl to turn turtle.
Jed if you want to turn back to the light,
You can take action to put things right,
Atone for your wrongs in a monastery
Or volunteer to do good works and do them for free.
You might end up happy as Larry
Indeed you might find that you hurtle
Towards a lass who is prepared to marry
