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Twenty-three
Monte Carlo, fourth of July
the tie was maroon
Florence, I think
cheap enough to buy
good enough for Monte Carlo
inside
purple light
big mirrors
everything colder
than it needed to be
I kept moving
because standing still
felt worse
then the rule
two drinks minimum
twenty euros for each Coke
forty euros
I had eighteen
the staff moved through the room
in twos
near the bar
too near maybe
two of them
one on each side
nothing said
that was the part
I remember best
not the fear exactly
just how quiet it got
around me
in my head
already the phone call home
already my mother
already Monte Carlo
and a Coke











