100 days
With a hint of poem by Charles Bukowski
Just about 3months and 9days. You start out ambitiously listing out all the things you want to become at the end.
Just like the way a university sells the dream of graduating and getting a job that is high paying. False promises and illusions buried in aspirations.
About 2 weeks in, things get a little rough, friction and fatigue starts to creep into your list of ambitions. You hold on to it firmly but then you realize that the goal was never about achieving 100% because in the real world, that would be unrealistic, it’s defying all odds of success. Just like in engineering you try your best to estimate f̂ as closely as possible to ƒ.
You accept everything these days hold upon you.
You gain new friends, you lose a couple.
Gain new type of confidence, lose some weight in the process.
Start a new project, end others.
Start new habits to keep your sanity, lose few ones.
Find new opportunities, lose some.
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Believe in your work, miss out on sleep and forget about your health.
Gain new trust, lose trust in others.
Ohh, what a beautiful life I choose for myself!
All in the window of trial and error. Experimenting what works and cutting what doesn’t.
Inventing yourself and then re-inventing yourself.
Even in consideration that you’ve lost the most important part of who you are. But trusting in God’s plan, knowing he does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear(Q:2:286).
Avoiding to swim in the same slough and staying out of the clutches of mediocrity.
Avoiding all the things that’s been keeping you dead. Avoiding what’s been made normal that’s completely abnormal. Protecting yourself from crowded places and ignoring all the choices made in unison by people who can’t face life with uncertainty themselves.
You change your tone and shape so often you re-invent yourself but only on the terms you have invented yourself.
Compacting all the past experiences into one single page. Set out all the vices and virtues to invent yourself.
And then reinvent your life because you must;
It is your life and its history and the present belong only to YOU.
