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Between Two Selves
Dear friend,
Spring has arrived, but for the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m actually growing alongside it rather than just watching it happen. Looking back, I’ve done more “living” in the past twenty-four months than in the preceding decade. The sheer velocity of it all has been staggering. I’ve forged the kind of friendships that feel like steady anchors, and I’ve finally started the necessary work of living for myself rather than an image I create for others. My heart was twice — shattered in ways I didn’t think were possible — only to find its way back to my first love. I used to feel like I was riding on a rollercoaster through life, but now I realize I was only on the children’s version. I finally know what it feels like to take the loop at full speed.
These two years have been full of wonderful moments and the lows have only been learning experiences. I heard many times that you never get stronger without struggle. I now believe that to be a universal truth. Even as I learned what really matters to me and what to let the storm carry away. I know God is always there walking beside me and He will point the way out of every storm I encounter in my life. God never promised that you wouldn’t stumble on your journey. He only promised that he would be there to help you back up.
I find myself now at the midpoint of a bridge and the view is different from here. I am more aware of the person I was as well as the person I have yet to be. In my younger years, I was captivated by the horizon — always racing towards the next goal, the next milestone, the next version of “better.” But there is a quiet power in slowing down. I don’t know exactly what’s in store for me on the other side of this bridge, but I’m going to really live and let love guide me through every experience on this journey.
