In Sheep’s Clothing: The “Nice Person” Trap
Can you trust someone who treats you nicely, compliments you, and is your biggest supporter? We are brainwashed from birth that kind gestures mean good intentions. However, the worst monsters wear sheep’s clothing.
When someone wears a ‘sheep’s clothing’, it means that the person uses kindness to veil their dark intentions, control, power trip, and seek validation by any means. They do not see you immediately as their target. They do not behave badly at first. They lull you into a sense of false security and start slow, steady poisoning of your mind.
When Does the Trap Start Closing in on You?
You are greeted by a lovely person who makes you feel understood and appreciated better than anyone. However as time goes on, they start to criticize you, and their supposedly lovely words are said in biting tones.
You do not realize how much you have been manipulated until it is too late, and you find yourself apologizing for something that was not your fault.
These manipulations are so slow to happen that it becomes a habit to excuse their behaviors.
You believe you are a horrible person, because they treat everyone else so well. There is also an underlying feeling of weariness as you interact with this person, and something inside you dies a little each time.
7 Signs You Are Being Slowly Poisoned by Manipulation
If you look out for these warning indicators, you may be able to identify toxic “wolf in sheep’s clothing” earlier:
They’re too good to be true: Manipulators are often eager to achieve affection and approval. So they lavish you with affection, to get control as soon as possible.
They treat everyone as if they were their equal: They’re courteous to everyone including the waiters, and turn into monsters when no one is looking.
They always blame you or others for their behaviors: They do not take accountability, so they act like their terrible deeds where not done. They twist words until you believe it was your fault when they crossed the line.
They care more about how they appear to others, instead of building a meaningful relationship with you: Their kindness is just a front; they only want to receive and gain. Manipulators use kindness as a tool, so they will rarely share their most intimate, vulnerable emotions with you, because it may jeopardize their self-esteem. Their strategy focuses more on getting rather than giving. Manipulators lack real affection for the people around them. Their ‘goodness’ is a way to inflate their egos.
They have a negative influence on you: During the conversations, you are emotionally exhausted. You feel that something is not quite right. When you are with them, you feel like you’ve been in a stressful, frightening incident.
They are envious of your achievements and successes: They will do everything they can to prevent you from succeeding. They are uninterested in your victories and accomplishments. They try to sabotage you when you achieve something really wonderful. Secretly they rejoice at your failures, because they believe it is the closest they will ever get to experiencing success.
Your instincts are warning you that something is not right: Your logic tells you that everything is okay, but the voice in your head is telling you that something is not quite right. You think they are a lovely person, and their behavior is explained by their kind words.
Why Empathic People Get Hooked Easiest
If you are a peaceful, forgiving individual that never wishes evil to come to others, then toxic people will gravitate towards you. Empathic people could be more vulnerable to malicious intentions, since they are less likely to retaliate.
In addition, many empathic people have a strong desire to assist people. That is why they are often caught in the trap of malicious people.
They want to redeem toxic people, since they believe that everyone deserves a second chance.
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Empaths know that kindness should be freely given; however, they occasionally struggle to recognize and regulate their emotions, because they are so entangled with others.
The most dangerous part of manipulation is that victims never suspect it might happen to them.
The Worst Mistake You Can Make When Dealing With Manipulators
The most fatal error you will ever make when interacting with manipulators is expecting them to return to their wonderful selves.
The reality is, manipulators rarely show their horrible behaviors at first. They are genuinely nice people, who believe they are being genuine.
They start to slowly lose their excellent qualities as time goes on.
Unfortunately the most common response is to continue trying to change them, because they appeared wonderful at first. This is the most damaging because the victim eventually realizes that nothing will ever change.
The most important step is to acknowledge the truth as it is, not how you want it to be.
How to Protect Your Peace of Mind
I believe it’s critical to educate yourself about manipulators so that you may spot them early and cut your losses. As I studied manipulators, I found that there are always warning signs that indicate when somebody will cross the line.
You must also learn to set limits so that manipulators cannot exploit you, and here are the five essential pointers:
- Do not ignore warning signs
- Do not focus on their words but on their actions.
- Set firm boundaries and observe how they react.
- Do not bare your soul too soon
- Do not sacrifice your self-respect for their approval.
How to Recognize Real Friends in a World Full of Manipulators (and a 3-Day Detox Plan)
We have all heard the saying “don’t believe everything you read on the internet”, but it’s also true for people. Social media enables everyone to create a fantastic online persona, but behind this online mask, many people have terrible personalities that must be uncovered.
Real people will never betray or manipulate you. They have healthy boundaries and do not seek to get something by controlling you.
Those who respect you will enable you to reach your objectives and dreams.
If someone does not respect your boundaries, sabotages your plans, and never admits their faults, they are not a genuine friend. They only care about getting something from you and the Three-Day Detox Plan to Help You Identify Your True Friends:
Day 1: Compile a list of all your connections. In two separate columns, write down those who made you feel joyful, and those who left you empty and sad.
Day 2: Observe the behaviors of your friends. Write down who respects your boundaries and who takes advantage of you.
Day 3: Establish one healthy limitation for someone who takes advantage of you.
Safeguarding your own peace of mind is not an act of selfishness at all; rather, it is something you genuinely need in order to build the future you want.
Developing the ability to place your trust in a thoughtful, discerning way means you can keep your heart open to genuine friends, while at the same time protecting yourself from those who only pretend to be something they are not.
