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Why Over-Explaining Yourself Makes People Respect You Less
Sometimes, the more you try to prove yourself to others, the more you forget that your decisions don’t need everyone’s approval.
“Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.” — Paulo Coelho
Have you ever said no to someone and immediately felt the need to explain why?
Perhaps you declined an invitation, refused a request, or made a decision that someone else didn’t understand. Instead of giving a simple answer, you started explaining your circumstances, your intentions, and every little detail that led to your choice.
You weren’t trying to be rude. You simply wanted the other person to understand you.
But somehow, the more you explained, the more you felt the need to defend yourself.
And even after saying everything, you still wondered whether they were satisfied with your answer.
This happens because sometimes we confuse being understood with being accepted. We believe that if we explain ourselves well enough, nobody will judge us, misunderstand us, or think badly of us.
