Sitemap
The Gravity

Where words connect us…

#Society #Questions #Break the chain

Who Decided This Is How It Should Be? — Let’s Rethink🤔

I want to ask society so much, but the answer I get is silence

5 min readSep 8, 2026

--

Press enter or click to view image in full size
Generated using ChatGPT

Hello Ticklies!

Today, I have to ask society just one question.

But I can’t choose one. There are so many.

And these are not just questions; these are the emotions that I have been carrying for a very long time and observing in my daily life.

But I have no idea whom I should ask these questions, but through this challenge, “If You Had One Question for Society, What Would It Be?” by Smriti Pathak; I have this opportunity to convey my questions to you all and get answer of my every question that can calm the storm within myself.

The very first question is actually very normal, and I have heard it many times:-

1. Why Does a Woman Lose Her Identity After Marriage?

There is a common idea that once a girl gets married, she becomes known by her husband’s profession.

If her husband is a doctor, people may call her a doctor too. If her husband is in the army, she may be introduced as an army officer’s wife.

And I am not saying there is anything wrong with being proud of your husband’s profession. If a woman is comfortable with that identity, that’s completely her choice.

But my question is:

Why doesn’t the same thing happen to men?

Why can’t a man be known by his wife’s profession?

No matter what a wife does, her husband is usually still introduced by what he does, rather than by what his wife does.

Sometimes, men even seem hesitant to say, “My wife is a doctor,” or “I am the husband of…”

But why?

You should be proud of your wife. You should be able to say proudly:

“I am her husband.”

And girls, you also need to understand something:

Being someone’s wife is a relationship, not your entire identity.

You may have achieved more than your husband. You may have your own career, dreams, talents, and accomplishments.

You deserve an identity of your own.

So, work for it. Build it. Create something that makes people know you for you.

2. Before Being Someone’s Daughter or Wife, She Is a Human Being

Two men are standing in front of society and making two different statements:

The first one: “She is my daughter.”

The second one: “She is my wife.”

I don’t think either of them is wrong.

But before being someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s sister, or someone’s mother, she is a human being.

She has her own individuality. She has her own dreams, opinions, choices, and life.

So let her decide what she wants.

Who are you to decide everything for her?

It doesn’t matter whether you are her parent, husband, brother, or anyone else.

Yes, parents give their children life, raise them, educate them, and take care of them. But that doesn’t mean they get to decide their child’s entire life.

You cannot control someone’s entire life simply because you gave them life — or, perhaps more accurately, because life came through you.

Everyone has the right to live their life according to their own choices.

3. Being Older Doesn’t Automatically Mean Being Right

There is another very common belief in our society:

“Older people are always right.”

If someone is older than you, people automatically assume they are wiser.

No, bro! 😂

Anyone can be right, and anyone can be wrong.

Age has nothing to do with being right or wrong.

Why do we assume that older people will always make the right decisions and that we should follow them without questioning anything?

Get Monika Mahadev’s stories in your inbox

Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.

We should absolutely respect our elders. We can learn from their experiences and listen to their advice.

But respecting someone doesn’t mean following them blindly.

They can be wrong too.

Sometimes, a small child can have a wiser perspective than an older person.

Everyone’s opinion matters.

Everyone has the right to share their perspective, and everyone’s words deserve to be heard.

4. Stop Judging Women by Their Clothes

And finally, I definitely want to talk about clothing and the way we judge women for what they wear.

I am not saying that everyone has to wear revealing or inappropriate clothes. Personally, I may not feel comfortable wearing certain kinds of clothes either.

But even if I don’t like someone’s choice, I still respect their right to make that choice.

Let people wear what they want.

What I don’t understand is why some women who wear suits or traditional clothes themselves feel the need to comment on another woman’s jeans, shirt, crop top, or any other outfit.

“Oh! See what she is wearing!”

Why?

A crop top may still be considered something unusual or inappropriate by some people in our society. And people are still trying to shame, criticise, and gossip about others simply because of their clothes.

And honestly, one thing bothers me even more.

Women judging other women.

Where I live, I have seen women discouraging other women from moving forward.

They tell them:

“You can’t do this.”

“You aren’t meant to do that.”

“What will people say?”

“A woman shouldn’t behave like this.”

And slowly, they make another woman believe that she cannot succeed.

Why are we doing this to each other?

Men are not always the ones putting these limitations on women.

Sometimes, women themselves become the biggest critics of other women.

And if women start changing this mindset — if we start supporting each other instead of pulling each other down — so many things could change.

Before blaming men or society for everything, we also need to look at ourselves.

Are we supporting other women?

Are we giving them freedom?

Are we encouraging their dreams?

Are we allowing them to make their own choices?

Because change doesn’t always begin with someone else.

Sometimes, it begins with us.

Society Needs to Rethink

There are so many traditions, beliefs, expectations, and cultural practices that society has simply accepted without questioning them.

But maybe it’s time to stop and ask:

Which traditions are actually beneficial to society?

Which ones are harming people?

Which beliefs are helping us grow?

And which ones are simply holding us back?

Not everything old is wrong.

Not everything new is right.

But everything deserves to be questioned, understood, and evaluated.

Because a society grows when its people are willing to rethink what they have always been told to believe.

— Monika Mahadev🌸

Thank you, Smriti Pathak, di, for such an encouraging challenge. I hope I did justice to your challenge. I wrote what I actually feel and what I question.

--

--

Human | Explorer | Writer | Author | Story-teller | Reader | Dreamer | Get eBook here :-https://store.pothi.com/book/ebook-monika-mahadev-kuch-ankahe-ehsaas/

See more from me