borrowed routines don’t work.
You’ve read fifty articles telling you how to build the perfect morning routine. Some of them contradict each other. Cold showers. No cold showers. Journal before coffee. Coffee before anything. No coffee ever. They all come with the same confidence, and yet somehow none of them mention that the person writing it built the routine around their own life, not yours.
the same advice, on repeat.
Open any list of habits that successful people swear by, and you’ll find the same five things reordered. Wake early. Move your body. Write something down. Drink more water. Go to bed on time. None of it is wrong. All of it works, for someone. The problem isn’t the advice, it’s that copying someone else’s routine skips the key step: working out whether it fits your life and your plans.
it’s not a motivation problem.
Most people who can’t stick to something conclude they’re not motivated enough. I ask a different question. Is this the right solution for you, given how you think, when you have energy, what you want to achieve.
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I found this out with my own business. I believed I needed to be active on social media the way every other coach seemed to be. I knew it drained me and did it anyway, because that was supposedly the advice worth following. Questioning whether it was really the right fit for me led me to a completely different approach that worked with how I think. Same goal, achieved in the way that made sense and worked for me.
the tell.
I had a similar conversation recently with someone finding it hard to get to the gym. Partway through, they mentioned other things they did in their spare time, and I noticed that the way they talked about the gym was nothing like the way they talked about anything else. Different tone, different energy. My instinct is that they weren’t going to the gym because it didn’t align with how they saw themselves. The question they need to ask is, if I want to be more active, what do I want to do?
find yours.
This isn’t about finding the easiest option. It’s about finding right one for your circumstances, and you often don’t know which one that is until you’ve tried and tested different options. Morning or evening. Alone or with someone. Structured or loose. I spent years convinced I wasn’t a morning person, right up until I tested it and found out it’s my favourite part of the day.
If something you’ve committed to isn’t sticking, ask whether it was right for you before you blame motivation. Borrowed routines rarely survive because they aren’t built with the right person in mind. If you’d like a second opinion on what changes might work for you, book a free introductory call.
I’m Fiona, a habit coach and the founder of The Habit Hacker. I work with people who know what they want but can’t make themselves do it. Together we build habits that are unique to you and your life. My 90-day programme, Brick by Brick, is built on my philosophy that personalised habits change lives. Find out more at thehabithacker.co.uk
