Curse you!
Alternate Expletives
When you want to say ‘fuck,’ but there’s an impressionable child about
You’ve wanted to say ‘fuck.’
You’ve wanted to say ‘shit.’
Maybe it’s because you stubbed your toe, hit your thumb with a hammer, or came upon people you know doing things that you can’t un-see.
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For those who live in a clean household, this one’s for you.
For Uses of ‘Fuck’
There’s a few different phrases or terms that incorporate this word:
- You could say “what the flunk?” instead of “what the fuck?”
- You could say “flunk a skunk” instead of “fuck a duck.”
There is also a lot of variation you can do with the term ‘motherfucker:’
- Mothertrucker
- Motherfluffer
- Motherstuffer
- Motherdruthers
- Mothercovers
- Motherbuffer
- Mothermuffler
- Motherpuffer
If you aren’t averse to calling someone a ‘fuck-face,’ try these out:
- Truck-face
- Duck-face
- Cuck-face
- Puck-face
- Muck-face
- Stuck-face
For Uses of ‘Shit’
You might feel inclined to use ‘shit’ in a phrase, but maybe say one of these instead:
- “Aw, you grift-head.”
- “He’s a real gift-disturber.”
And then there’s the few that invoke the excrement of animals which we pivot to other things:
- “That’s bull tits.”
- “That’s hog blimp.”
- “That’s dog lips.”
- “That cat blitz.”
- “That’s elk whiz.”
For Uses of ‘Asshole’
Sometimes we switch up the first word:
- “He’s a goddamn gashole.”
- “Shut up, you flaskhole.”
- “Yo, Gary’s a total whackhole, right?!”
- “You tackhole!”
Sometimes we switch up the second word:
- “Wow, that dude is a serious assmole.”
- “I can’t believe you smacked that asscoal. I’m sure he deserved it.”
- “Did you see what that asspole did?”
- “That guy? Yeah, he’s giving assgoal vibes.”
I think by now you get the idea.
It just takes a little innovation with the most basic words we know, and having them vaguely rhyme with the more expletive version.
Society would really go to shit without slant rhymes.
