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How A Missing Corkscrew Prompted Shocking Discoveries
This Is What Happens When You Put Things In A Really Safe Place.
It finally happened. One of my children drove me to drink last week. Before I go further, it’s worth mentioning that I don’t drink much and I’ve never been drunk, but on this particular night at this particular time in this particular place the child had gnawed through my last nerve and was working their way through reserves of patience I’d been saving for the this week. Besides, it was Friday, we’re Jewish and we always have a ceremonial glass of wine with Shabbat dinner.
The only catch is, I couldn’t find the corkscrew. Because our child turns everything into a weapon, we’ve had to either get rid of or hide all of the pointy objects in our house including all our take out chopsticks and the corkscrew and it wasn’t in its regular hiding place.
No problem, I figured. Instead of having a drink from a freshly opened bottle, I’d go with the open bottle sitting in the fridge from last week. Unfortunately, said child took that moment to decide it would be a good idea to pound the cork so far into the other one that I would need a corkscrew to get it out. You know, the corkscrew that I didn’t have.
Yes, I know there are other ways to deal with this crisis and I TRIED. THEM…
