Rapeh Initiation
2021 March
There is a time when I go a bit bonkers. There are many reasons for it. Stress, worries and anything else. When I am in that state my family keeps away from me or I stay away from them.
One of those episodes was too much for my wife and she said to me — “ You have to do something with your madness, you are unbearable. Of cause, you are not going to see a specialist so I am getting you a place in a Rapeh initiation”. You need different experiences in your life”. I knew that I had to accept the offer if I wanted to stop the unnecessary arguments at home.
Rainy Sunday in early March I went to the initiation. I won’t tell you where it happened, I want to protect the shaman and her medicine man from unnecessary attention.
I don’t like to be late for my appointments, I hate to be the attention of people. So I arrived at the meeting point an hour before. Eventually, everybody arrived, Shaman lady, her medicine man and four participants of the initiation.
We walked deep into the forest away from people. The place was set, blankets and chrystals and stones, drums, pipes, flowers and other accessories needed for the initiation.
Rapeh — tobacco-based snuff used for ceremonies and healing. It’s blown in by a medicine man (or woman), shaman or by oneself.
We sat in a semi-circle, listening to the shaman explaining the significance of the initiation. Most of what she said I didn’t understand. I understood the words but the story itself was too complex. I am not even going to retell the story over here.
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Then the intake of sacred tobacco started. I have some experience with snuff. You see, I like tobacco products—pipe, cigars, chewing tobacco and rollups. I hate cigarettes. I like snuff but it dries my nose so I can’t take it often.
When I used to drive trucks on the daily basis, snuff was in my pocket at all times. It kept me awake in the middle of the night on an empty road back from a town or place I had never been before.
Back to the secret initiation. The Shaman lady talked and her medicine man played the guitar and other musical instruments. We listened and kept taking different rapeh mixtures when we were told to do so.
The lady on my left was a touch annoying, talking non-stop and giving an unsettling vibe. The medicine man started the fire, a small one. We gathered around it while the shaman lady took us one by one to do a final intake of the sacred tobacco mixture.
What can I say, the last hit opened my mental blockages and all stress and worries were things of the past. On a physical level, it opened all the blockages as well. it felt as if my intake of air increased tenfold.
The Medicine man kept playing and singing. The Shaman lady looked exhausted. I felt physically tired but mentally refreshed at the same time. No anxiety, anger or dark touch of nihilism. The initiation was finished. We became medicine people. We were initiated to give tobacco remedies to ourselves and others.
I am not into native American culture. I am not dismissing it but I never felt a connection to that culture. It’s a strong culture with deep traditions but I never felt attracted to it. When the Auyasca craze began, I started to see stories of the “awakening” of various celebrities. Some of my friends got involved with the medicines. I asked them to be careful, native medicines are not a joke and must be handled seriously. Some of my friends who are involved in it are lucky and some of them are not so much. That’s a story for another time.
My personal opinion is that one can participate in shamanistic rituals but one has to know and trust the shaman. He or she has to accept that there will be some stuff coming out of their psyche they might not be ready for. All the hidden secrets you don’t want to remember, all the black dots of conscience you would rather forget will be showing up in ways that you might try to suppress.
Personally, I would stay away from a Caucasian person who is a shaman. If a native shaman has a white guy or gal as a medicine man then it’s ok but a white shaman — see you later. Probably there are exceptions but I haven’t met one yet.
A year passed but I haven’t used Rapeh again. I am ok without it for now. When the time comes when I will make no sense in my mind once again, I might go back to the shaman lady and her medicine man.
