Member-only story
Cancer Made Me Unreliable
On learning to be good enough at work, finding joy, and being grateful for it all
I was born at 9:00 AM sharp on the first day of September, a prompt Virgo, and my mother jokes that I hopped out of her womb carrying a tiny briefcase.
And for the past many decades, I have fully lived out my Virgo destiny. I have been responsible, reliable, competent, and caring as a leader, mother, friend, colleague, partner, scholar, and writer. Well, mostly. I have enjoyed occasional moments of wild behavior, out-of-character decisions, and capricious whims. Have I danced on a pool table? You bet. Have I driven motorcycles and raced cars? Yep. Because I am also human, and I was in childhood what I like to call a tomgirl.
But still, I am Old Reliable. Someone you can depend on. The friend who will loan you money in a pinch. Pick you up at the airport when your partner forgets. Show up at all the concerts and spelling bees and homeroom celebrations and swim meets. Complete projects in a timely fashion. Meet deadlines. Help you pack when it’s time to leave your crappy relationship. Bring food when you’re sick. Faithfully practice safer sex and undergo routine health screenings.
Which made my cancer diagnosis that much more surprising. It happened after my annual (though tardy) mammogram…
