Aftermath

Everybody thinks they know

Yet another image that appeared on my phone. Anyone would think it's listening to what I say (© Samsung)

I hate interviews. I hate them almost as much as I hate rollercoasters.

That’s a pity, because I used to like them (interviews, I mean, not rollercoasters. I didn’t care one way or the other about rollercoasters.) Interviews are a great way for someone to figure out either that I’m the person they want for a job, or that the job description they advertised needs some refinement. In the latter event I make a point of offering them advice at no charge, and they usually pay my expenses anyhow. It’s a win-win situation.

At least, that used to be the case. Now, interviews are a game that rarely has a winner. I answer their questions while mentally counting down: when will they mention rollercoasters? And how? I can be almost certain that they will. For a brief time my LinkedIn profile included a banner statement, No rollercoasters please, which proved to be counterproductive (search engines and recruitment agents tend to ignore the modifier No). It seems unfeasible I’d be famous in that, or any other, circle. Yet somehow, the word precedes me. Everybody wants to know about Hyperbolus.

If its name is voiced aloud, it’s a good bet that the agent who sent me there is not to be trusted. I have to explain the gap in my employment record, and swear them to secrecy, every time. I can say Yes, I have experience in…