Member-only story
MICROFICTION
Beer, Kraut, and the Rapture
Two out of three ain’t bad
Oktoberfest! The beer garden was packed with the usual assortment of tourists, local revelers, and diehard drinkers. The menu consisted of steins of stale beer and burnt bratwurst with sauerkraut and watery mustard on a stale bun.
“Gemütlichkeit, motherfuckers!”, I yelled as I downed another stein of beer. A cute woman taking a selfie was annoyed, so I went over with a couple of steins and tried to get her to take our picture together.
Her boyfriend looked pissed, and I think he was about to hit me when suddenly, something lifted him into the air. It was fucking hilarious, seeing his little arms and legs flailing around in mid-air, with a frightened look on his silly face. I went to put my arm around the cute girl when I realized that she was rising in the air, too.
What the actual fuck was going on?
Suddenly a couple of dudes in white robes and wings flew by us. Flew by us? Damn, this beer isn’t just stale. Somebody spiked it with acid, just like my high school graduation, when I spiked the punch with enough acid to make Timothy Leary trip balls.
One of the angels started to blow a horn. He was hovering above an evergreen, so I yelled out, “Merry Christmas!” Nobody laughed…
