Never call on the boss to solve your problems. Bosses are unpredictable and your next job might pay less.

Santa v Easter Bunny

Competitive holiday movie

IT WAS THE MONDAY AFTER EASTER, and the ratings weren’t good. Easter rated last among the holidays for the 15th year in a row. Bunny blamed the lack of promotion. No big Easter Blow Out sales. No must-have gifts for the kids. Still no Easter decorations on houses or store windows. Well, sure, there were egg and bunny stickers in store windows, but nothing like Christmas (or even Halloween and Thanksgiving) with Easter lights, inflatable Easter Bunnies in their Easter Carriage on lawns, lighted eggs in Easter Trees. Not even a Pre-Easter Black Friday sale.

Granted, when thinking about it more carefully, a Black Friday sale on the anniversary of Jesus’ crucifixion might be tacky. But hell, Easter is no more about Jesus than Christmas is. It’s about commerce. It’s a pale substitute for the original pagan festival of Eostre, the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring, celebrating the spring equinox (and which, coincidentally, coincided with Passover).

And what a festival that was. Bonfires, dancing to the rising sun, young maidens in white robes revealing themselves to randy young men. And the celebrants worshipped the goddess…