It doesn’t matter who wins. It matters who gets the most publicity.

Santa v Easter Bunny II: Throw Down

Competitive holiday movie sequels

…continued from yesterday

WHEN EASTER BUNNY CHALLENGED SANTA CLAUS, the alpha figure of Magical Holiday Creatures, they invoked the divine arbitration clause of the Magical Holiday Creatures Union Contract. After hearing them out, the Big Guy told them to work their problems out themselves. So, lacking any other options, Bunny challenged Santa to a throw down.

Betting immediately started, with the line running to 20 to 1 in favor of the big man. This should come as no surprise. After all, Santa is a large, bearded action hero who doubles as Krampus in Eastern Europe. And Bunny is a bunny.

But first the rules. Santa, of course, didn’t want rules, and Bunny felt the Throw Down required rules since everyone (except, perhaps, Santa) wanted to see a fair fight. But once you compared their relative arsenals, Santa won the throw down before the fight began. He had more commercial contracts, more commercial coverage, more followers, higher box office ratings, more exposure, and a bigger enterprise by a factor of infinity.

Betting immediately started, with the line running to…