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What if “Asshole” is a Developmental Stage?
The Terrible Teens
When my kids were small, I dreaded the teen years. Everyone with kids older than mine would tell me, “Enjoy them now because when they’re teenagers, it’s awful!” I watched movies and TV shows portraying teens as destructive and angry. I remembered my own teen years with a mixture of horror and disbelief that I survived all the stupid things I did. The adult world seemed in agreement that parenting teenagers suck with a capital S. This was not great news, as I wasn’t really enjoying the baby/toddler phases, either. I worried the entire parenting experience was going to be one big disaster.
Thankfully, my three kiddos and I made it through the baby/toddler/school-age phases—which, may I point out, all have lovely, well-defined developmental stages. I knew what to expect, what was normal, and when to be worried. It was hard, but I had a map to follow. And I found great comfort at well-child checkups in the form of the paediatrician telling me my kids were right on track.
Unfortunately, this little nugget of parental validation is unavailable during the teenage years.
At least not from the paediatrician. From a psychologist? There was no longer any “You’re doin’ good, mama, keep it up!” as I left the appointment with them. More often than not, I wasn’t even in the…
